OUR HISTORY

by Dr. Jim

Eight years ago I was attempting to have sexual relations with a woman.   The evening came to an abrupt end when that cursed woman began laughing.  She pointed at my penis and said I had a tiny little hollow tip.  I warned her that she better stop and show me the respect I deserved.  She ignored me and continued to laugh, backing out of the room, pointing and guffawing at my undersized penis.  I stood there defenseless, not knowing how to stand up for myself.  There I stood alone, out $200.

As a small penised white man, this wasn’t the first time I experienced this type of humiliation.  No, this was just the latest in a long line of humiliations.  I felt alone, sure that I was the only small penised man in America, drained of all self esteem.

On my way home from the motel I stopped at the Akron/Canton airport to use the men’s room, because it just happened to be the closest public restroom I could use on short notice.   As a small penised white man, I chose to go into a stall to urinate to avoid the chance of enduring any smirks while standing at a urinal.  Alone in the stall, reflecting on the events of the night, I admit it, I began to cry.

Then the door to my stall opened and Lee Greenwood Hannity walked into the stall and into my life.  He closed the door behind him and asked why I was crying.  I told him about the cruel, insensitive comments that disgusting, painted woman made about me having a tiny little hollow tip.  He gently touched my penis with his pinky finger and told me I had nothing to be ashamed of.  He made the point, which had not occurred to me due to my old way of accepting taunts and humiliations as my lot in life, that the hollow tipped bullet has the most explosive, penetrating firepower of any ammunition.  That moment was the beginning of a new life for me.  I realized then there was no shame in having a tiny, little hollow tip.  After I dried my tears, he showed me his penis.  To my disbelief, his penis was even smaller than mine.  For the first time in my life, I realized I wasn’t alone.  So I know what I’m talking about when I tell you that you are not alone.

Mr. Hannity told me to be proud and told me he had something else to show me, something to show me how to achieve full manhood.  After we left the bathroom stall, Mr. Hannity brought me to his firing range and put a Heckler & Koch MP5 in my hands and had me fire away.  All of the shame and insecurities I ever carried around inside of me came gushing out as the hail of bullets sprayed out of that glorious gun barrel.  For the very first time in my life I knew what it felt like to be a big, virile man.

Lee Greenwood Hannity and I decided that night to reach out to all of the other white guys with small penises who were suffering alone and in silence to let them know that semi automatic weapons and ammunition could make them whole men.  Thus, the National Small Penis Association was born.

Eight years later we are now at the forefront of an ever growing army of white men with small penises and semi automatic assault weapons.  Following the model of the  National Rifle Association, we plan to grow and expand to make sure those bureaucrats in Washington never restrict gun rights and never restrict our manhood.

4 Responses to “OUR HISTORY”

  1. bubba smith June 19, 2015 at 5:43 pm #

    hilarious! guns?? i went and bought myself a Hummer too…now i feel like a gorilla god.

  2. abby smalldik May 3, 2017 at 7:58 pm #

    i have very small dik. every pretty women laf 8=D

  3. Karen Sinep May 22, 2017 at 3:25 am #

    You are all sick fucks. Small Penis evidently = ity, bit mind! Hahahaha

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