Okay, so in the course of this past Friday night he allegedly pepper sprayed his girlfriend, killed her 4-month old kitten by throwing it against a wall twice, shot a friend of his girlfriend who was trying to protect her from him and pistol whipped another friend who was trying to help her, but we would like to point out that he is not a Mexican rapist who is sneaking across the border to do us serious harm like Donald Trump has been warning us about.
Damion Looney (oh, grow up, if you’re laughing) from our Wichita NSPA chapter was arrested Friday night because apparently the Wichita police would rather harass a White American Man rather than look for REAL criminals, as in Mexicans who sneak into America to rape and destroy us. Now my mother said I should have some compassion for Mexicans because so many of those people love Jesus Christ. Yes, technically the Mexican may be a Christian, but a lot of them believe in a phooey version of Christianity that involves sacrificing chickens during a church service so it doesn’t really count as real Christianity.
As for Patriot Looney, his only “crime” was that he was following the teachings of the Bible, which documents the right of the Man to rule over the Woman. See, we heard it all started when Patriot Looney was out at a club with his girlfriend, and they started to argue, which we’re guessing was all her fault. This is when Patriot Looney allegedly pepper sprayed her. What else could he have done to get a hysterical woman under control?
Patriot Looney then went back to the home he shared with her and waited for her return. That’s when he is alleged to have killed her 4-month old kitten by throwing it against a wall two times. If he did this, we think it was because he was trying to protect his neighbors from the Pasteurella multocida infection, an aggressive bacterium found in up to 90% of healthy cats that is passed on through cat bites.
Then his manipulative girlfriend returned with a a male friend of hers. Patriot Looney wasn’t going to let some woman emasculate him in such a feckless manner so he allegedly and rightly got his gun out and stood the ground of his male pride and shot at the punk’s face. Then when another sucker showed up to protect her, Patriot Looney allegedly pistol whipped him. With all of the liberals whining about shootings, you would have thought they would have been happy that Patriot Looney didn’t shoot bullets from the gun. Guess again. They’re liberals, they’re never happy.
So now Patriot Looney is sitting in Sedgwick County Jail, facing charges of attempted first-degree murder, aggravated assault, aggravated battery, aggravated robbery, aggravated kidnapping and animal cruelty. While the Wichita police were wasting all of their time on this case, we would like to know how many Wichita citizens were raped and killed by Mexican banditos.
Suspect in Friday shooting now linked to animal cruelty case
“My gun’s already out, it’s cocked and locked.” It looks like the National Small Penis Association has just gotten a new official motto.
Robert Doyle from our Citrus County NSPA chapter was arrested for defending himself with his gun, which should be legal since this was in Florida which has Stand Your Ground legislation on the books (thank you Jeb Bush – Jeb! 2016), but the liberal lamestream media and the gun hating “authorities” have labeled this as a road rage shooting.
See, it all started when another driver, who had a Mexican sounding name, called 911 to complain about Patriot Doyle’s “aggressive” driving and provoked the whole situation by following Patriot Doyle to his home like a stalker to get his address to report it to police. Meanwhile, Patriot Doyle had called 911 to report a nutjob was following him and announced to the dispatcher that he intended to shoot the guy following him in the head. Sure enough, you can hear Patriot Doyle’s wife in the background nagging at him to calm down and put away his gun. Yeah, a lot of good she would be in a crisis situation. That’s when Patriot Doyle dropped the epic line, “My gun’s already out, it’s cocked and locked.” Praise Jesus, we here at the NSPA love that line. In fact we are making that the opening remark to be uttered at every future NSPA meeting because it captures the essence of the NSPA in just 8 words. (It is with words as with sunbeams. The more they are condensed, the deeper they burn. – Robert Southey)
Well, when Patriot Doyle got home, the hot blooded Latino man with the Mexican sounding name was out of his car and taunting him that he was turning him into the police. Patriot Doyle had no choice but to stand his ground so he pointed his gun at the probable Mexican, who could have been like one of those dangerous criminal rapists that Donald Trump warned us who are sneaking into our country. Sure, the news reports say that the man with the Mexican sounding name started backing away, but Patriot Doyle was still in a great deal of danger. What if that man snuck away and brought back a truck load of 13 of his cousins (you know how big those Mexican families are) back to the house to kill him?
So Patriot Doyle was justified in our opinion to shoot and kill the man. Then he was justified to order the man’s wife, daughter and grandson out of the car and to hold them at gunpoint until the police showed up. They could have started speaking Spanish and plotting against him if he just let them stay in the car. Little did he know that the police would stab him in the back and charge him with second-degree murder and three counts of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. That’s why we must always have our cell phones out, ready to capture any evidence of police misconduct toward our members.
As the African American inhabitants of the inner city say, “Fraternal relations precede women of loose morals.”
Well, we lost two of our brothers in arms to one of Dictator Obama’s corrupt and crooked court systems in the little known liberal stronghold of Rankin County, Mississippi. Michael Farmer and Michael Minton, both from our Rankin County NSPA chapter, were arrested for charges related to what we are sure was Patriot Farmer’s accidental shooting of his wife in the head while she was holding their child. The news reports alleged that Patriot Farmer shot his wife in the midst of a domestic argument.
If this is indeed what happened, we’re sure Patriot Farmer was probably schooling her on the importance of gun safety around their child so maybe they did start arguing a little bit because who can blame a guy for getting a little frustrated when his wife doesn’t pick up what he is trying to teach her, no matter how simple he makes it, and then you just know she probably got defensive and started yelling at him to stop hurting her delicate feelings. We’re guessing she then tried to take the gun from him to practice putting on the safety when she (being a woman) got confused and pulled the trigger while the gun was still in Patriot Farmer’s hand, causing a bullet to end up in her head.
Once the blood started pouring out of his wife’s head, Patriot Farmer knew the liberal gun haters in Rankin County would be out to get him and blame him for the shooting so his NSPA brother Michael Minton allegedly tried to help him by getting rid of the gun. However, the Obama regime’s minions in the Rankin County Sheriff’s department found Patriot Farmer’s wife bleeding from the head and bought into her story that she was a victim of a shooting. Then they tracked down the gun Patriot Minton tried to hide.
So here we go again. Patriot Farmer now faces attempted murder charges while Patriot Minton faces obstruction of justice charges. Though things don’t look good for our brothers down in Rankin County, we are proud that they stood by each other in the face of certain prejudice and persecution. We must never give up our fight for equal rights.
Husband shoots wife in head; charged with attempted murder
Thank you for all of your prayers to Jesus Christ, the one TRUE Lord and Savior, for the speedy recovery of our brother Patriot Swisher. He is going to be just fine.
This has been an emotionally difficult week for us here at the NSPA headquarters as we have been vigilantly monitoring the well being of Edward Swisher from our Gypsum NSPA chapter, and we thank Jesus Christ for administering loving care to bring him back to prime health.
See, it all started Tuesday night when a woman, who we are sure must be a manipulative hag who constantly tries to verbally emasculate men because she has a lot of issues like most woman do but even more in her case, called the police to report that Patriot Swisher had initiated a “domestic disturbance” , which nowadays in Dictator Obama’s White man hating America can simply mean reminding a woman with a firm grip on her wrist who is the decision maker around the house (hello, Barberton Police Department, you gullible buffoons who can fall for any nonsense coming out of the mouth of a woman who is crying crocodile tears).
She showed the police the “evidence” of the “domestic disturbance”, which consisted of nothing more than the fact that he had allegedly broken out all of the windows of a 1998 F-150 pickup truck (the 2nd most popular vehicle of NSPA members, after the Chevy 1500 pickup) with a tire iron. We’re guessing Patriot Swisher had seen yet another story of a baby or a sweet puppy dog that died after being trapped in a hot, locked car, and he decided to take preventative measures to make sure no innocent life would ever come to an end in such a horrible manner in that truck.
The police then found Patriot Swisher the next day, and he explained he had been doing nothing more than pursuing his constitutionally guaranteed right to go out with his buddies into the woods to shoot rifles. Then the busybody police started questioning Patriot Swisher about a gunshot wound they noticed on his left hand. He reasonably explained that he got the wound when he held out a hat for his friend to shoot for a little target practice. Well, the nosy nitwit cops determined alcohol had been a factor and that maybe Patriot Swisher’s buddy’s aim was a little off because of the booze.
We’re sure Patriot Swisher didn’t go to the hospital right away because he probably knew he could get hauled in front of one of those Obamacare Death Panels. And what do you think their verdict would be with a proud, small penised, gun loving White man standing before them? Can you blame him for not going to the hospital? We are sure it was our prayers to Jesus Christ that healed his hand, not the hospital that the police forced him to go to.
However, we’re not done praying yet because Patriot Swisher is now facing charges of domestic battery and felony damage to property. Our battle never ends.
Man Shot in Hand By Friend
Well, he was trapped in “hillbilly hell” so he had no choice but to start shooting at his neighbor.
Neal Zumberge from our New Brighton NSPA chapter was in court yesterday for a preliminary hearing in Ramsey County District Court to determine admissible evidence for the murder trial he will be forced to endure next month. Patriot Zumberge’s defense attorney made the valid argument that Patriot Zumberge had to shoot and kill his neighbor last year after enduring years of “hillbilly hell” created by this uncouth neighbor.
Yes, Patriot Zumberge used a 12-gauge semiautomatic shotgun to shoot his neighbor in the heart, brain and spinal cord, but you have to look at this in its proper context. See, the neighbor fed and encouraged unwanted deer into the neighborhood, owned Doberman pinscher and boxer dogs and regularly got into loud arguments with his father. Then the final straw came when Patriot Zumberge saw the neighbor messing around with crossbows. The only thing imaginable worse than this “hillbilly hell” would be “ghetto hell” so who can blame Patriot Zumberge for shooting and killing his neighbor to shut down this hell?
However, since this is Dictator Obama’s America, the trial must go on. Please pray to Jesus Christ on behalf of Patriot Zumberge.
Attorney claims ‘hillbilly hell,’ not deer feeding feud, led to fatal 2014 shooting of New Brighton neighbor
Look, we’re sure once the investigation is finished it will all come out that this was nothing more than a rehearsal for a Smothers Brothers routine that got a little out of control. So why should the “authorities” even bother persecuting this fine, gun loving, White Patriot? Oh, wait, that’s right, he’s White….
Eric Swenson from our Fernandia Beach NSPA chapter was arrested today for allegedly shooting his brother after having an argument over an upcoming wedding matter. Soon after the brothers started arguing over the wedding matter, they began struggling over a .30-06 Springfield rifle. Well, accidents happen, and Patriot Swenson must have slipped or something, and he allegedly pulled the trigger, causing a bullet to graze his brother’s head.
Now, hold on a minute, because we think all of this was a result of the Swenson brothers practicing for a local talent show to perform some type of Smothers Brothers comedy routine, and things went a little haywire. See, we don’t think the brothers wanted to use acoustic guitars like the Smothers Brothers did because acoustic guitars usually indicate you have some sort of a folk singing hippie or an insufferable singer/songwriter (hello, Ryan Adams) on the stage so they used a gun instead. Just as Patriot Swenson started practicing a ‘Mom Always Liked You Best’ type of routine as the lead in to their argument about the wedding matter, the gun went off accidentally.
Yeah, the injured brother ran out of the house with their 80-year old mother, and they called the police from a neighbor’s house. This in turn led to an hours long standoff as Patriot Swenson barricaded himself in the house and held the police at bay with his gun. And, yeah, the standoff ended when Patriot Swenson exited the house and allegedly raised the gun towards police, which led an officer to shoot and disable Patriot Swenson. All that being said, we think Patriot Swenson and his brother were simply using improvisational comedy techniques to make the most of the unexpected turn that occurred in their routine when the gun went off.
Unfortunately Dictator Obama and his minions in the local police and Sheriff’s Office were even more nimble, though, in their improvisational techniques, and they seized the opportunity to jump into the fray and remove another small penised, gun loving, proud White man from the front lines of the battle for the fate of our country. After all, Dictator Obama always liked Sharia law best.
Deputies: Armed suspect in brother’s shooting wounded by deputies in Fernandina
Hello, has the 1st District Court in Utah never heard of reverse psychology? Apparently not!
David Schofield from our Logan NSPA chapter was (we’re sure) forced to plead guilty to Class A misdemeanor reckless endangerment and second-degree felony possession of a dangerous weapon by a restricted person all because he tried to use a little reverse psychology to save a suicidal young man who had turned to him for help.
See, all the nonsense started back in June when a 20-year old man became suicidal after having an argument with his girlfriend. The young man sent text messages to his girlfriend and a friend to announce his intention to commit suicide.
The next morning the friend and girlfriend brought the suicidal young man to Patriot Schofield’s home “for assistance in dealing with (the young man’s) depression issues,” according to court charges as reported by The Salt Lake Tribune. Patriot Schofield may not have studied Psychology at the University of Salzburg in Austria, but he is sharp enough that he knew a little reverse psychology was in order.
So Patriot Schofield got his Smith & Wesson .38 Special revolver and handed it to the despondent young man. Then, according to the friend and girlfriend, Patriot Schofield said something along the lines of, “If you want to do it, then pull the trigger.”
Well, as Robert Burns wrote,
The best laid schemes o’ Mice an’ Men
Gang aft agley.
and sure enough Patriot Schofield’s scheme went astray, but that isn’t a crime, at least not in our minds. See, the young man responded to Patriot Schofield’s strategy by putting the gun to his head and pulling the trigger to commit suicide. Hey, you win some, you lose some. Sadly, Patriot Schofield is now facing up to 15 years in prison for trying to help out. Oh, well, just another day in Dictator Obama’s America.
Utah man pleads guilty to giving gun to suicidal friend
Sure, if some black guy serving a life sentence in prison scares somebody straight, it’s considered to be a noble act. When Patriot Davidson tried to scare somebody straight, it’s considered to be a felony.
William Davidson from our DeKalb County NSPA chapter was arrested basically for being a White guy who loves guns (a HERO, in other words) because he was actually trying to do some good by scaring a wayward woman straight, but that just doesn’t fly in Dictator Obama’s America. It all started Saturday when Patriot Davidson and a deceitful female acquaintance were having a little party that went late into the night. After Patriot Davidson fell asleep, the conniving woman tried to steal money out of his wallet (which, by the way, is a succinct summary of what it is like to be married).
Well, Patriot Davidson woke up and allegedly attacked her by striking her in the face with a loaded gun until blood was drawn and then aimed the gun at her and fired it multiple times without striking her. As Patriot Davidson explained to the police who responded to the scene, he had not shot at her with the intention of killing her. No, he was simply trying to scare her badly so she would never again engage in criminal activity which could get her sent to prison.
However, like in an ironic twist ending of a Twilight Zone episode, Patriot Davidson could now face 4 to 15 years in prison if he is convicted of aggravated discharge of a firearm, according to the DeKaly County Daily Chronicle. If it isn’t already obvious what is going on here, DeKalb County is just two counties west of Cook County, which is ground zero for Dictator Obama’s wrecking crew, which obviously jumped on the opportunity to send a proud, small penised, gun loving White man away to prison to ensure there is one less Patriot to stand up to Dictator Obama when he comes to steal our guns.
Police: DeKalb man hits woman with loaded gun, shoots
If you want something done right, do it yourself. Apparently that is now a crime in Chicago.
Michael Groh from our Chicago NSPA chapter was arrested early Friday basically for stepping in for the Chicago police to do their jobs for them in order to keep our borders safe from the Mexican rapists who Donald Trump has been warning us about. See, it all started while Patriot Groh was at a Northwest Side tavern enjoying a few drinks when he noticed a dangerous looking dark skinned man in the bar minding his own business because he probably didn’t want to attract any attention to himself since he was probably an illegal alien.
Well, Patriot Groh knew it would be pointless to call the lazy Chicago police to investigate this situation, but he was luckily prepared to impersonate a Chicago police officer and take care of the situation himself. He approached the man and allegedly called him “a fucking Mexican” and demanded to see his green card. The suspicious character didn’t reply, probably because he knew his goose was cooked, so Patriot Groh asked him if he was an American.
The dark skinned suspect tried to play cute with his response by telling Patriot Groh he was South American. Patriot Groh wasn’t easily put off so he demanded to see the brown man’s green card. Sure enough, the perp knew he was being cornered so he ignored Patriot Groh, which only increased his patriotic determination to protect his country from the brown menace.
Patriot Groh started screaming ethnic slurs at the despicable desperado and resorted to the mature and manly measure of trying to stare him down. The hot blooded likely Latino finally began escalating the situation and showed his true dark colors by yelling at Patriot Groh, who knew the situation was reaching critical mass so he pulled out his Smith & Wesson pellet gun and yelled out that he was a Chicago police officer.
With only moments left to protect the well being of all of the bar’s patrons, Patriot Groh shot him three times, once in his left eye and twice in the backside of his head. Then the meddlesome bartender attacked Patriot Groh and held him down until the “real” Chicago police showed up.
They inspected Patriot Groh and discovered he was equipped with a tactical vest, two metal badges, handcuffs and a handcuff key. He also allegedly had a handwritten ID card indicating he was a police officer. Well, if the Chicago police weren’t so lazy, Patriot Groh never would have had to do any of this. They repaid his assistance by charging him with felony hate crime, impersonation of a peace officer, aggravated battery and possessing a replica firearm. So indeed, no good deed goes unpunished.
$1M bail for man accused of impersonating cop, shooting bar patron
“Woman is always fickle – foolish is he who trusts her.”
Paul McCellan from our West Tulsa NSPA chapter was booked earlier this week for assault with a deadly weapon for allegedly shooting his daughter after an argument. The real culprit in this case, though, is the inconstancy of the female mind and heart. See, all the trouble started when Patriot McCellan’s daughter called him to plead for a ride after she had gotten into a fight with her boyfriend. Well, Patriot McCellan, being the dependable father he has always been, got in his car and picked her up.
As soon as she got in the car, she turned her wanton womanly ways upon him and began berating him. Then the ungrateful daughter called her boyfriend to pick her back up. After she got back into her boyfriend’s car, Patriot McCellan could not let this fickleness go unchallenged so he had no choice except to shoot at the boyfriend’s car as it drove away. As a result of this shooting, a bullet allegedly ended up in Patriot McCellan’s daughter’s back. The injury wasn’t life threatening so we don’t understand why the prosecutor is pursuing charges against. If anything, Patriot McCellan taught his daughter about the importance of being constant.
However, in Dictator Obama’s America, children are encouraged to disrespect their parents so Patriot McCellan, not his daughter, is being blamed for what happened. First Dictator Obama destroys the family unit, then he destroys the country.
Police Say Father Shoots Daughter After Argument
quid enim sanctius, quid omni religione munitius, quam domus unusquisque civium?
What more sacred, what more strongly guarded by every holy feeling, than a man’s own home?
Another day, another outrage. William Charles Martin from our Casper NSPA chapter will be forced to endure the indignity of reporting to the “authorities” for the next three years as a result of the probation sentence forced upon him for the false charges of threatening his ex-wife, daughter and a sheriff’s deputy with a handgun in his own home.
Yeah, Patriot Martin pleaded guilty to two counts of reckless endangering and one count of possession of a deadly weapon with unlawful intent, but we know in our heart of hearts that he pleaded against his will because he knew the fix was in and that he might end up in a FEMA concentration camp in a tunnel below a Texas Wal Mart if he didn’t play along with Dictator Obama. He was damned if he did and damned if he didn’t.
The facts of the case are simple. Patriot Martin was in his own home, which is his own castle, and he was simply enjoying a fair amount of Fireball whiskey. We’re guessing his ex-wife and daughter started to go against Biblical teaching and began harping at him for every petty, trifling, trivial matter you could imagine. We’re pretty sure the only reason Patriot Martin took his gun out and began brandishing it at them was because he was trying to get their attention to remind them that it says in the Bible that wives (and ex-wives, in this case) and children must submit to the man of the house.
So the very trouble makers who created the situation called 911 and brought two sheriff’s deputies into the mix. Patriot Martin pointed his gun at one of the deputies and made a salient point when he stated, “I have the right to shoot in my own house.” Amen!
Well, the deputies used a stun gun on him and everything unraveled for Patriot Martin from there. He was then firmly ensnared in the trap set by the Obama regime which has the singular goal of persecuting gun loving, small penised White men in order to destroy America from within so he can establish a caliphate here. That’s why we resume our fight every morning because we need to stand our ground for America!
Casper man gets probation for threatening family, deputy with gun
But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also.
Francis Frenzel from our Harrison NSPA chapter found out today he will likely face charges in the Harrison court system after he accidentally shot himself in a cheek earlier this month. You ask how such an injustice could occur? Well, here’s how.
Patriot Frenzel went home from work on July 9 for lunch only to get in an argument with his nagging wife. (You know how women can be.) Well, she ordered Patriot Frenzel out of the apartment, but he wasn’t going to let her push him around so he began subduing her in a way that is surely sanctioned by the Bible. He bit her on the cheek and then threatened to kill her in a valiant attempt to quell the Satanic tempest that had ignited in her blood.
She was apparently, as far as we can tell, morally unhinged and not about to do the right thing by submitting to him so she gathered their three children and hustled them into the bathroom. She locked the door and we think she was probably screaming like a banshee at him to leave their home, which is really his castle if you think about it.
Well, he had to stand his ground so he simply got a 12-gauge shotgun and forced his was in to the bathroom just to remind them that the Bible sanctions his supremacy in the home. He allegedly pointed the gun at her and threatened to kill her, but we just know this was a bid to snap her out of the frenzy within which the evil spirits that must have been occupying her mind and heart had ensnared her.
We’re guessing what happened then is that Patriot Frenzel was attempting to calm them by demonstrating the ‘turn the other cheek’ lesson from the Bible by placing the shotgun barrel inside his mouth against his left cheek. We think at this point the spirit of Lucifer that must have been in control of his wife saw an opportunity to remove one of Christ’s warriors from this spiritual battlefield Earth and somehow caused the trigger to get pulled just as he was getting ready to place the barrel against his right cheek. Well, the next thing you know, poor Patriot Frenzel had a huge hole in his left cheek.
Please pray for Patriot Frenzel’s speedy recovery and for the Boone County Court system to have the wisdom to drop the charges of four counts of aggravated assault on a family member, three counts of endangering the welfare of a minor in the first degree and third-degree domestic battery charges that have been levied against him. After all, he was just trying to teach his children the importance of turning the other cheek, as instructed by the Bible.
Man shoots self in cheek; charges filed
It’s not his fault that he used a gun to slaughter the neighborhood animals. No, it was video games that put him in a narcotic-like haze that drove him to these killings. All the gun haters out there rush in to blame guns whenever there is a mass shooting spree, and they always try to cover up the desensitizing influence video games play in these killings. That stops today, though, as we lay out the truth.
Ares Howard from our Mishawaka NSPA chapter was charged today with killing three of his neighbors’ cats and maiming eight other animals in an intial hearing for a rash of animal kills in South Bend last year. According to court documents as reported by WNDU, a search of Patriot Howard’s home revealed an upstairs window that was set up similarly to a hunting blind. Police also found a Ruger .22 pistol and several boxes of .22 ammunition.
Okay, so he had a pile of dead animals near his backyard, but that doesn’t give all of the hysterical gun haters justification for labeling guns as destructive weapons that provide emotionally unhinged men a way to deliver pain and suffering.
A love for guns didn’t drive him to this act. No, we’re pretty sure it was one of these Hollywood produced video games that allegedly caused Patriot Howard to kill these animals. Hello, have you never heard of ‘Duck Hunt’ ???? We’re all but positive Patriot Howard spent hundreds of unhealthy hours consumed with the high tech Nintendo game ‘Duck Hunt.’
We’re sure it will turn out that the mental and physical corrosion of this game caused him to become untethered from reality which led him think the alley behind his house was actually the field in ‘Duck Hunt.’ So it was video games, not guns, that caused these mass animal murders. However, Dictator Obama will want to protect his Hollywood media friends so he will make sure his propaganda department continues to blame guns for all of the gun murders in America.
Initial hearing for man accused of shooting neighborhood pets, wild animals
Well, Patriot Morgenstern (yeah, it sounds kind of Jewish, but we’re going with ‘don’t ask/don’t tell’ since he is such a sincere gun lover) has unlocked the secret to real estate success. His first rule for real estate financial freedom is: “People who lower my property value get shot in the head.”
Jonathan Morgenstern from our Delray Beach NSPA was arrested for basically for trying to maintain the property values in his neighborhood when he allegedly pointed a .40-caliber Smith & Wesson handgun at a neighbor, who Patriot Morgenstern claimed was openly smoking drugs on his front porch.
See, Patriot Morgenstern took a measured and reasonable approach to his neighbor when he first gave him a warning about his drug usage by saying, “I will cut off your genitals and send them to your sister.” Then he tried a little harder to make an impression so he said, “I will kill you if you don’t get out of my town.”
Since the pot head was so chill that he didn’t get the message, Patriot Morgenstern went back into his house and got his .40-caliber Smith & Wesson and promptly pointed it at the ganja goofball. So the cowardly cannabis clown ran in his house and called the police. So they showed up and found Patriot Morgenstern waving his gun around.
For some reason the police felt the need to handcuff him and confiscate his gun. Patriot Morgenstern then tried to explain he didn’t want the rampant drug use by his neighbor to lower the neighborhood’s property values. As one officer quoted him in an arrest report, “People who lower my property value get (he then proceeded to make a hand gesture of racking a gun) get shot.”
Who wouldn’t want a stabilizing element like Patriot Morgenstern as a neighbor to protect the property values in the neighborhood? Do I have to spell it out for you? Dictator Obama doesn’t want stable gun owners in neighborhoods to secure property values because he wants home prices to tumble so their owners wll be totally dependent on the government for free stuff, which the government gives them to secure their vote for a lifetime.
Delray man points gun at neighbor, threatens to kill him, police say
So what’s the big deal if he flashed her a loaded Glock in the waistband of his pants? The whole point of carrying a gun around is to let those feminist type women know about our potency.
David Reterstorf from our Cascade Township NSPA chapter is in trouble for nothing after he allegedly flashed his .40-caliber Glock handgun at a 33-year old feminist type woman who tried to diminish his manhood by passing his slow-moving 1996 Chevy 1500 pickup truck (which happens to be the Official Vehicle of the NSPA) in her 2015 Cadillac SRX Crossover (clearly a woman with self esteem issues.)
First off, the feminist woman who tried to belittle him has the first name Janessa. (Okay, I think you’re starting to see the real picture.) Well, Patriot Reterstorf wasn’t going to let this effrontery pass without notice so he had no choice but to begin following her wherever she drove. Sure enough, like any overly emotional, hysterical, scaredy cat woman, she pulled into a gas station parking lot to call frantically to 9-1-1.
Then to make a point, he walked over to her parked Cadillac and allegedly lifted his shirt to reveal his .40-caliber Glock (the Official Handgun of the NSPA) in the waistband of his pants. That’s a move we here in the NSPA refer to as the Letting the Little Lady Know Who’s in Charge.
Heaven forbid, though, that in Dictator Obama’s America a White man might actually re-assert his position around here. So the police showed up, and now Patriot Reterstorf faces a weapons charge. Yet another reminder of why we need to get Jeb Bush elected in 2016.
Construction zone conflict leads to gun charges for 65-year-old
Look, his alibi makes total sense so you have to ask why his case is going to trial. Could it have something to do with the fact that he is a White man who loves guns? ‘Ya think? Furthermore, if eyes are the window to the soul, just one look at his picture makes it obvious that he is completely innocent.
Matthew Webster from our Swanton NSPA chapter is somehow being forced into court tomorrow to begin jury selection for his trial on second-degree murder charges. The prosecution alleges Mr. Webster shot and killed a 31 year-old woman two years ago in a “road rage” incident, but that couldn’t be further from the truth.
See, Patriot Webster has a rock solid alibi, but the corrupt court system in collusion with Commie and Gun Confiscator in Chief Obama just want him to be carted off to the clink. Patriot Webster tried to explain to the police that he was preparing to commit suicide with his gun while he was driving when he inadvertently drove through a red light before he pulled the trigger and cut off a 31 year-old woman in another car.
Well, he decided to put his suicide on hold for a moment and pulled off to the side of the road. Then the unarmed woman in the other car pulled over and got out of her car to confront him. As Patriot Webster explained to the authorities, he felt the life he was planning on ending by his own hand was in danger from this woman stranger coming toward his car. He wasn’t going to let her kill him before he killed himself so he shot her six times. As he said to the police, “I got scared. I don’t think….She started charging at me, and I think her velocity increased…It was like a six-point buck coming over the hill.” Every detail of this sounds reasonable to us.
He told the police the gun wouldn’t fire after he reloaded it and tried to shoot himself. That’s when they realized they could score some brownie points with Dictator Obama so they started the wheels of injustice turning, and now Patriot Webster faces a ridiculous charge of second-degree murder.
Trial set for road-rage-shooting suspect
Look, we’re sure he was simply acting as a neighborhood watch leader. Yeah, maybe his aim was a little off but that isn’t a crime.
Besides, wouldn’t you feel safer if you knew your neighborhood is protected by a proud Patriot who has this kind of an arsenal?
Steven Fincher from our Winder NSPA chapter was arrested Thursday after allegedly shooting wildly with an AR-style rifle and a .45 caliber pistol into the homes of three of his neighbors. After the Barrow County SWAT team showed up and got Patriot Fincher to surrender, the gun hating Winder police started spinning their (what we’re sure is false) narrative that Patriot Fincher went on the rampage after an afternoon of drinking and getting into an argument with a family friend.
We’re still gathering our own facts, but what we’re pretty sure happened is that Patriot Fincher was acting as a neighborhood watch leader, and he sprang into action after seeing an unarmed, young black man walking through the neighborhood. Winder is a comfortable, stable, solidly middle class suburb of Atlanta (ATL-need we say more?) after all. So we’re guessing he saw an unarmed young black man in the neighborhood and instinctively knew it was time to stand his ground on behalf of the entire neighborhood so he had no choice but to start shooting.
So maybe Patriot Fincher did have a few too many drinks, which affected his aim and caused the stream of stray bullets that entered his neighbors’ homes. However, we here at the NSPA think all of the neighbors would feel safer having a stable White guy accidentally shoot a few harmless shots into their homes rather than having an unarmed young black man walking around their neighborhood unchallenged.
See, we think the Winder police were in a hurry to make Patriot Fincher look like a threat to the safety of the neighborhood because they didn’t want the neighbors to realize that a gun loving Patriot can do a better job of maintaining community safety better than they can. Also, they wanted an excuse to confiscate his arsenal and turn it over to Dictator Obama. Just look at picture we posted above of the arsenal they stole from Patriot Fincher. Wouldn’t you feel safer knowing that stash was in the house next door? Of course you would so that’s why the government had to take Patriot Fincher down.
Man arrested for shooting up his neighborhood
Like father, like son…
There is no better way for a father and son to bond than through a love for guns and the outdoors, except if they live in Obama’s America. Gregory and Jason Niedermeyer from our Ash Fork NSPA chapter were arrested today and charged with attempted murder for allegedly ambushing and shooting a 70-year old Yavapai County Sheriff’s Office volunteer patrol officer.
No matter what the local media is reporting, Patriots Niedermeyer were simply using their constitutional right to enjoy themselves riding ATVs in the woods when this government representative tried to roll up on them, probably to try to take away their guns or to take them to a FEMA concentration camp that houses White Christian men who love guns.
Well, with the stakes that high, father and son had no choice but to get out a couple of high-powered rifles and fire over 20 rounds at the government thug. They managed to get three bullets in his pelvic region before he scampered away like a yellow bellied coward to get backup.
Then sure enough the swarm of government vultures descended up the Niedermeyer home to confiscate all of their numerous guns (just like we predicted). The greedy government goons even took away their pipe bombs, which we are pretty sure were left over from a science fair project that Patriot Niedermeyer helped his son with.
So not only did the government confiscate all of the Niedermeyer guns, but they also broke up the foundation of a good heterosexual, Christian family. As they refer to it in Dictator Obama’s inner circle, this was a 2 for 1 special.
Father and son arrested in shooting of YCSO volunteer
Yeah, he shot and killed three people before committing suicide, but the important lesson from this is that gun laws are pointless so we really shouldn’t bother having them on the books.
You may have heard news reports recently about Randy Moore, formerly of our Rocky Hill NSPA chapter, who shot and killed his wife, her son and her son’s girlfriend before he shot and killed himself this past weekend. Sure, the Monday morning quarterbacks will be trying to determine a motive for the slayings, but we here at the NSPA always like to remind the public after these type of mass shootings that what is done is done.
Instead of pursuing the pointless task of making sense of what happened, we think it would be more helpful to use this incident to point out how useless and unnecessary federal gun laws are. See, Patriot Moore had a couple of felonies on his record, and federal law prohibits possession of a firearm for people who have felony convictions on their records.
If you want to get technical about it, and if you want to take a literal interpretation of the law as it was written by some wimpy federal bureaucrat, maybe under certain circumstances it could be said that perhaps Patriot Moore should not have had a gun. However, he still managed to get one so we here at the NSPA don’t see what having all of these laws and regulations over guns will accomplish. So let’s put an end to the senseless madness once and for all and enact a sensible ban on pointless federal gun laws.
Feds: Gunman in Rock Hill murder-suicide barred from having firearm
“I’m an innocent white person,” said Troy Duarte. We couldn’t agree more, but we would like to point at the inherent redundancy in his statement.
Justitia, the Roman Goddess of Justice, would have wept today (if only Roman mythology were a true religion like Christianity and she actually existed) in bitter disappointment at the limits of her powers as Troy Duarte from our West Ward NSPA chapter was taken into custody today by the gun hating Easton police on charges from a May 22 shooting.
As Patriot Duarte waited for transfer to a township police SUV, he graced the assembled media with his profound wisdom that underscored his obvious innocence. As reported by Lehigh Valley Live, Patriot Duarte assured everybody he had done nothing wrong, warned kids to stay in school and away from drugs and gangs and said, “I’m an innocent white person.”
That last statement should have been sufficient to stop the court proceedings immediately, but the wicked, warped wheels of injustice continued to turn (this is Obama’s America after all), and poor Patriot Duarte had to endure the arraignment where he got slapped with two counts of attempted homicide and two counts of conspiracy.
Now, I could go into the “details” of the case, but that would really be pointless since Patriot Duarte is so obviously an innocent white person. I would make better use of my time by asking you to pray to Jesus Christ to deliver true justice to Patriot Duarte and allow him to walk free.
‘I’m an innocent white person,’ Palmer shooting suspect says
Chad Nelson from our Ramsey NSPA chapter was charged yesterday with second-degree murder for a shooting death last week at a bar after a dispute broke out over a poker game. However, even the most cursory of reviews of the details of this case will show that this was a case of justified homicide by a Patriot who was doing nothing more than standing his ground.
See, it all started when Patriot Nelson was on a roll at a poker game in Willy’s Bar last Thursday night when another player’s uncle had the nerve to accuse him of cheating. Well, Patriot Nelson wasn’t going to be disrespected by this minority person so he stood up to him and got into an argument that caused the bar staff to intervene.
Then to make matters worse, as everybody was leaving the bar, this uppity uncle asked Patriot Nelson to apologize for how he had behaved earlier in the evening. This proud White man wasn’t going to put up with this affront so he got in his car and drove up on this uncle and his thug nephew and told them off to put them in their place.
So, get this. The out of control nephew threw a punch at Patriot Nelson, which meant our proud brother in arms had no choice but to pull out his .380 semiautomatic handgun and shoot two rounds at the unarmed nephew. If that isn’t a justified homicide, I don’t know what is. Sadly, the “authorities” in Anoka County don’t know what justifiable homicide is so Patriot Nelson, the real victim here, is sitting in jail until his court appearance on August 3. Once again, Dictator Obama deals the cards from a stacked deck and another proud Patriot gets locked up.
Man charged in shooting death outside Coon Rapids bar
How the Hell else was he supposed to get the old crone to pipe down for even just the most fleeting of moments? He was simply standing his ground for his peace of mind. Though the NSPA does not support gay marriage, maybe everybody would be better off if Patriot Cygan’s wife goes and gets married to another woman because only a woman could be expected to tolerate the constant harping that comes out of his nag’s mouth.
Henry Cygan from our Bath NSPA chapter is sitting in a cell at the Two Bridges Regional Jail tonight, and typically at this point in the posting I would decry his fate. However, in this case we believe he is better off in a jail cell rather than to be back in his house trapped with his willfully woe-inducing wife.
All the trouble started yesterday when Patriot Cygan and his wife got in a day long squabble that we are sure was initiated and accelerated by the horrible harridan known as Mrs. Cygan. Well, a man can only take so much, and Patriot Cygan decided to let the ogress know he had no intention of listening to another moment of her verbal mange. So he simply went to his bedroom to retrieve his 9mm handgun to encourage her to be silent.
Yeah, the gun ended up discharging a bullet that went through the front door of their house, but we would like to emphasize the bullet didn’t hit her and certainly encouraged her to keep her mouth closed. Before Patriot Cygan could finish checking whether the bullet from his gun had damaged his truck in the driveway, the truculent trickster of a wife called the police on him. (Ingratitude, thou marble-hearted fiend.)
Well, Dictator Obama’s lap dogs in the Bath police department rushed to the scene and charged Patriot Cygan with reckless conduct with a firearm. The bastards even confiscated his gun. Now Patriot Cygan is waiting for his September 15th trial date. Let’s just pray to Jesus Christ that he can stay in the Two Bridges Regional Jail until then rather than head back to his house and fall again into the clutches of that callous crab apple he is forced to call his wife.
Bath man fired gun out front door during argument with wife, police say
So the judge thought she was laying down some serious smack at the sentencing hearing by calling Patriot Zale a “shooting waiting to happen.” Well, the joke is on the jug headed judge because the highest award we give out at the NSPA annual dinner banquet is our “Shooting Waiting To Happen” trophy to our most accomplished member.
Martin Edward Zale from our Marion Township NSPA chapter was hung out to dry by a kangaroo court in Livingston County that has apparently never heard of the concept of self-defense. See, back in September Patriot Zale was minding his own business, probably reflecting on the Gospels and the latest issue of Guns and Ammo, when he got into a traffic altercation with some guy who was driving with his wife to pick up their children from their first day of school.
Well, Patriot Zale did nothing more than defend himself when the other guy tried to hit him in the head. Who cares that no witnesses could corroborate Patriot Zale’s account. He swore on a Bible that this is what happened. That’s the only corroboration anybody should need. Unfortunately, the judge (sure enough, a woman judge) didn’t have the judicial wisdom to throw out the case. So the gullible jury that listened to the widow who cried and said she was “a broken women with broken children” delivered a guilty verdict, and the Judge Judy wannabe sentenced Patriot Zale to up to 50 years in prison with no chance for parole until he has served at least 27 years. Patriot Zale is only 67 years old so we’re sure if he takes good care of himself in prison and reads his Bible every day, he will still be able to enjoy a few good years.
Besides, look at Patriot Zale’s face. Is that not the picture of serenity and compassion? It certainly isn’t the picture of a cold blooded, self pitying killer who nurses longstanding grudges toward an uncaring world that never truly recognized his greatness and instead nursed and nurtured those who were inferior to him but had the patronage of the God damn liberal Communists who are destroying our country.
Judge: Road-Rage Killer a ‘Shooting Waiting to Happen’
We see right through the charade. Dictator Obama has “the authorities” searching for this upstanding looking White guy on the 4th of July weekend so everybody will take their eyes off the dark skinned Muslims who are planning horrific crimes, like the ones for which we’re sure Dictator Obama has framed Patriot Hutcheson.
Steve Hutcheson from our McCalla NSPA chapter is running for his life tonight as he is being hunted by the government thugs in the Jefferson County Sheriff’s Department for a crime we are sure he didn’t commit because he is a Christian White man who loves guns. See, any good magician knows the secret to success is the art of misdirection, which is exactly what we’re sure Dictator Obama and his gun hating “authorities” are up to in this case. If the public is duped into being on the lookout for Patriot Hutcheson, they will ignore the threat posed by our real enemies, the Muslims who want to kill American citizens and establish a caliphate right here within our borders.
We’re sure Patriot Hutcheson has been framed for shooting and killing his wife and two young children before going out on an alcohol and cocaine fueled sex-binge with his married girlfriend. The obvious flaw in this contrived narrative is that Christian White men don’t engage in this type of behavior. Dictator Obama could have been a little more subtle when he and his sinister Minister of Propaganda hatched this far-fetched, misbegotten storyline. From what we’ve heard the experts on Fox News say, only a Muslim could be capable of this type of depravity.
Hey, Dictator Obama, as your buddy Reverend (yeah, right) Al Sharpton always likes to say, nice try, but we gotcha!
Authorities: McCalla man slaughtered family before all-night party with girlfriend
Well parents are the same no matter the time nor place
So to you all the kids across the land
Take it from me, parents just don’t understand.
‘Parents Just Don’t Understand’
DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince
Scott Rocha from our Springdale NSPA chapter was shamefully removed from our battlefield for independence from our tyrannical government when the “court system” in Washington County, Arkansas shuttled him off to prison for a life sentence for a rigged first-degree murder conviction.
The superficial facts of the case are that Patriot Rocha shot his mother in the back of her head and put a towel over her body, allowing her to slowly expire rather than getting medical help for her while he left the house to go on a beer run.
We only wish Paul Harvey were alive, though, so everybody could hear the rest of the story. See, prior to the shooting, the 36 year old Patriot Rocha was just trying to relax and get his head together to plan for his future by engaging in a day long drinking binge of beer and whiskey. Then his buzz kill mother started nagging him and had the nerve to express disappointment in him.
If there’s one thing people should know, it is never to mention the word disappointment in the presence of an NSPA member. We don’t know the meaning of the word, and it has no relevance to us. We are completely emotionally mature and healthy men who live the most highly actualized lives possible, and all of our family members are completely proud of how our lives turned out. Disappointment is for losers, not for members of the NSPA!
Well, Patriot Rocha had no choice but to check his mother on this slur, but you know how mothers are when they get on a roll with the nagging and emasculating accusations of being less than a responsible man. So he had no choice but to start waving around one of his guns to get her attention and to snap her out of her rant. One thing led to another, and the gun accidentally ejected a bullet that ended up in the back of her skull.
Yeah, Patriot Rocha walked to Fiesta Liquors after shooting his mother to get some more beer. However, it was only because Patriot Rocha thinks best when he is having a drink so he was just trying to make the best decision on what to do next after this accidental shooting. However, the jack booted thugs in Washington County pounced on the chance to send this gun loving Patriot to the hoosegow for life so now Patriot Rocha must spend life in prison for the crime of having a nagging mother.
Man Who Killed His Mother And Then Made A Beer Run Gets Life In Prison
We’re sure he was actually just practicing an act for ‘America’s Got Talent.’
Johnathan Chad Seay from our Spartanburg NSPA chapter was arrested early yesterday morning on flagrantly overblown charges of attempted murder after he returned home at 4:30 AM with perhaps one too many alcoholic beverages in his system. Yes, he allegedly shot at his wife 18 times with 3 different guns while she was in their bed.
However, we would like to point out that he did not strike her once out of the 18 shots. Now check this out. Any member of the NSPA is an expert marksmen who knows how to handle his gun with precision while remaining calm and emotionally well balanced under any circumstance. Sure, you hear stories in the news about disgruntled, emotionally stunted, self pitying white guys who lash out against the disappointment with the ways their lives have turned out by firing their guns in bursts of orgasmic rage, but you won’t find any of those guys in the NSPA.
No, Patriot Seay is one cool cucumber and a responsible gun owner. There’s no way he could have shot 18 times at his wife without hitting her if he had wanted to harm her. So we’re pretty sure that he was practicing a husband and wife act he wanted to try on the talent show ‘America’s Got Talent.’ See, we think he had come up with a variation of the old knife throwing routine. A knife throwing act might have been cutting edge when your great grandparents were courting and went to a vaudeville show on a chaperoned date in 1923, but audiences today need something a little more exciting.
So we are pretty sure that Patriot Seay was just shooting a bullet hole outline around his wife’s body to practice for the routine. However, the ultra liberal Spartanburg County Sheriff’s Office saw a chance to score brownie points with Dictator Obama so they arrested him on the ridiculous charges of attempted murder. They should rename the show ‘Obama’s America’s Got Talent For Persecuting Proud, Gun Loving, Small Penised White Guys.’
Woman’s husband charged after shooting at her 18 times, deputies say
What part of ‘Do Not Disturb’ did those children fail to understand?
Matt Barkley, our Alabama NSPA state field coordinator, was arrested last night in a Louisville Holiday Inn basically for trying to get a little sleep. See, Patriot Barkley maintains his residence in Alabama and stays there on the weekends, but he stays at the Louisville Holiday Inn during the week while he works on a long term assignment at a Louisville hospital.
Well, last night he wanted nothing more than a brief, merciful moment of repose to provide him sweet respite from his woes while he rested his weary body on the hotel bed. Then, on the cusp of entrance to the realm of salving slumber, some bratty, unsupervised little jerks (probably the products of laissez-faire liberal parents) raised a ruckus in the hallway, right by Patriot Barkley’s door.
Roused back to the realm of woe and doubt, Patriot Barkley took the sensible measure of grabbing his gun and opening his hotel room door to encounter the horror of obnoxious children playing with a ball in the hallway. Since Patriot Barkley wanted to get to sleep and needed to stop this immediately, he pointed the gun and its laser pointer at one child’s forehead and told them all to be quiet.
Well, this effectively got the kids to shut up, but it was also enough to get Patriot Barkley hauled in front of a local judge who lectured him on and on and on about being forbidden from having any alcohol or drugs while he is out on bail. Then (and this was the real motivation for his arrest – hello, is anybody else paying attention?) the judge ordered him not to have any guns. So maybe you’re all starting to see the patterns we here at the NSPA have been identifying.
Another NSPA member gets locked up in jail so Dictator Obama’s best two weeks in office just keep getting better for him. #whenwillthenightmareend
Ala. man accused of pointing gun at child in Louisville hotel
In Dictator Obama’s America Patriot Testa decided he had seen enough of people who have a sense of entitlement and expect to get free stuff so he had no choice but to get a gun out to put an end to it.
Michael Testa from our nearby Westlake NSPA chapter was arrested last week for trying to bring a halt to the sense of entitlement so many people have developed ever since Dictator Obama got into the White House by giving away free stuff.
See, a four-man crew was installing a tile drain in his neighbor’s yard when one of the crew members turned on the water spigot on Patriot Testa’s home to get a drink of water because it was 90 degrees outside. Apparently, this coddled little moocher had never learned to utter the magic word ‘please’ and expected Patriot Testa to pay for the water.
Well, Patriot Testa decided it was time for him to take the first step toward taking our country back from these feckless freeloaders so he stared out from a window in his house at the crew member for 20 minutes. After the epic stare down, Patriot Testa went outside and called the loafing leech over to his balcony. Once the deadbeat stepped on the balcony, Patriot Testa pulled a gun on him and forced him to sit in a chair while he cursed him out for five minutes and informed him that he needed a life lesson.
Once Patriot Testa allowed the little leech to leave the patio, the wussyish water thief ran away to his crew and had them call the police. Right on cue, the gun hating police showed up and confiscated Patriot Testa’s five handguns, six rifles and one shotgun and then charged him with abduction, aggravated menacing and using weapons while intoxicated. Look, it’s clear this was simply all about confiscating this proud small penised White patriot’s guns and locking him up on nonsensical charges so he won’t be out on the streets to stand up to Dictator Obama.
We here at the NSPA Akron-based worldwide headquarters will suspend all office operations on Thursday, July 2nd so we can be in court to show our support for Patriot Testa at his arraignment. We will resume normal office operations on July 3rd.
Westlake man points gun at worker
Like his defense attorney said, if the two motorcyclists hadn’t followed him after he almost ran them off the road, he never would have had to shoot at them so it’s not his fault.
Rodney Lee Scott from our Knoxville NSPA chapter was sentenced last week to a year in the clink after a kangaroo court trying to curry favor with Dictator Obama shamefully convicted him on trumped up charges of attempted voluntary manslaughter, aggravated assault, reckless aggravated assault, leaving the scene of an accident and public intoxication. In other words, he was convicted for being a small penised White man who loves his guns, but they couldn’t come out and say it so they had to throw these charges at him.
It all started one night when Patriot Scott almost ran over two motorcyclists on a highway off-ramp. Witnesses claimed Patriot Scott was intoxicated and couldn’t control his car. Yeah right, like those motorcyclists weren’t high on drugs and weren’t responsible for almost getting run over by Patriot Scott. Hello, apparently the judge and jury have never seen ‘Sons Of Anarchy’ on Netflix.
Well, rather than just leaving well enough alone, the two reckless motorcyclists started chasing Patriot Scott. They claimed they just wanted to get his license plate number to turn over to the police. Like motorcyclists would ever want to help the police. Please!
So Patriot Scott sees these two born to be wild motorcyclists hounding him so he understandably went home to get two guns and started shooting at the two hoodlums. If that isn’t justified self defense, I don’t know what is. He shot one of the marauders four times and ended the threat right then and there. Then the police showed up and rigged the “crime scene” and obviously fixed the equipment to read that Patriot Scott was drunk.
As Patriot Scott’s defense attorney pointed out, if the two motorcyclists simply had kept going after initially almost getting run over by Patriot Scott, none of this would have ever happened. However, logic doesn’t rule in our courts anymore so Patriot Scott is just one more Good Guy With A Gun locked up by the Obama regime.
Road-rage shooter Scott begins year in jail
So Patriot Edelen has been court ordered not to possess any weapons and to seek mental health treatment. Do you know how many times I’ve heard some egg headed, wimp judge tell me the exact same thing? While the judge was at it, he might as well have court ordered Patriot Edelen to marry another man since apparently activist judges can now disregard the Constitution and destroy everything that used to make America the greatest nation that ever existed.
Charles Edelen from our Clarksville NSPA chapter and a firefighter for the Clarksville Fire Dept. was inexplicably put on administrative leave without pay this weekend for a minor incident at his home. We’re sure there is more to the story, but Patriot Edelen allegedly got into a little argument with his estranged wife who still shares a house with him. Well, you know how manipulative women can be, and we’re sure she escalated the situation.
To make matters worse, she was there with the father of her infant son. Since Patriot Edelen is a real man and isn’t going to have his manhood diminished, he stood up to this Johnny Come Lately with his wavy hair and olive oil voice and pepper sprayed him. Like any good tactical fighter, Patriot Edelen knew he had to disable any potential allies his opponent might have so he pepper sprayed the man’s infant son for good measure. Then he drew his gun to add a little Shock and Awe to the battle.
The score was clearly Patriot Edelen 1 Other Guy 0, but then the police showed up and arrested him. Now Patriot Edelen is waiting to face charges of aggravated battery, criminal recklessness and domestic battery.
On top of all this, the gun hating judge has ordered Patriot Edelen not to possess any weapons and to seek mental health treatment. In other words he has forced Patriot Edelen to go through a round of forced feminization which is a tactic straight out of the Saul Alinsky playbook used by Dictator Obama to marginalize proud, small penised White men in America, or what’s left of America, I should say.
Firefighter on admin. leave after infant pepper sprayed during dispute
So apparently it’s now a crime to try to motivate lazy governmental postal workers to do their jobs.
H.B. Shea from our West Boca NSPA chapter was arrested earlier this week and hit with an aggravated assault with a firearm charge and a federal charge of bringing a firearm into a postal facility after simply trying to get a lazy postal worker to do his job, which is next to impossible because they are all God damn government union employees who know they have Dictator Obama watching their backs because they all vote for the Democrat party so they can keep their cushy jobs that pay too much.
It all started when Patriot Shea asked the sluggish postal worker for help to fill out a priority mail label. When the “busy” postal worker explained he wouldn’t be able to help, Patriot Shea knew he had to think outside the box to motivate this parasite that feasts upon U.S. taxpayers. So Patriot Shea got his gun from his car and returned to the post office to tell the postal worker that he planned to blow his head off. Well, let’s just say that postal worker for the first time in his “professional” postal life moved zippity split just like Mr. Zip.
Instead of being locked up in the Palm Beach County Jail without bail, Patriot Shae should be sitting in front of a U.S. Senate confirmation committee to become the next Postmaster General if you ask me. If only we had a White Christian Republican President, that might actually be possible. Imagine…..
West Boca man, 90, accused of threatening to kill postal worker, is jailed without bail
Yes, you better worry because you’re a gun loving, small penised White man who must stand before a corrupt, gun hating court system!
Jerry Wayne Moore from our Fort Worth NSPA chapter was railroaded in court today when he was most likely coerced into pleading guilty on murder charges for the shooting death of the woman he had been living with for the previous three years. In an act of judicial hubris the judge sentenced him to life in prison for the alleged crime. Where is Judge Scalia when you need him?
Sure enough, it appears nobody took into consideration the emasculating taunts the woman made to Patriot Moore during the one sided domestic dispute that led poor Patriot Moore no choice except to get his gun to silence her unconscionable verbal assault. In the moments before she stopped living, she hectored Patriot Moore with vicious slurs that he was not a real man, that he would not get a job and that he took too many drugs. Let’s put it this way, if a woman talks this way to a gun owning member of the NSPA, she shouldn’t be surprised if she loses the ability to talk all but immediately. #justsayin’.
Fort Worth man gets life for killing school owner
If we can’t make jokes about shooting people anymore, then the terrorists have won.
Paul LePage from our Augusta NSPA chapter and the incumbent governor of Maine has been catching flack all day long from the humorless liberal hate mob for cracking a mighty funny joke yesterday while meeting participants of Dirigo Boys State, a youth leadership program.
See, it all started when Patriot LePage ran into the teenage son of Bangor Daily News cartoonist George Danby. When Danby’s teenage son asked Patriot LePage what he thought of his father’s satirical cartoons of him, Patriot LePage laughed and said that he would like to shoot his father.
Well, sure enough, the thin skinned nerd whined, “On the heels of all the shootings lately, it’s in poor taste.” Then some hack from the newspaper said the joke wasn’t funny, more so because of the terrorist killings at the Charlie Hebdo offices earlier this year in France.
First the liberals will come for your Constitutional right to have any gun you want, then they’ll come for your Constitutional right of free speech to make hilarious jokes about using those guns to shoot other people.
We are just hoping that Jeb Bush, who we’ve been supporting for the Republican 2016 Presidential nomination for the past two years for being the first Governor to sign Stand Your Ground legislation into law, will have the foresight to select Patriot Page to be his running mate.
LePage jokes about shooting Maine political cartoonist
The one thing more dangerous than a woman holding a gun is a woman holding a debit card.
Billy Joe Lee of our Unionville NSPA chapter was somehow found guilty today on counts of felony homicide, felony child abuse and neglect, discharging a firearm in an occupied dwelling and use of a firearm in committing a felony in the shooting death of the 10-year old son of his then-fiancee. The truth is that this was a completely accidental shooting that only occurred because Patriot Lee’s then-fiancee had been misusing his debit card. As any real man knows, there is nothing capable of more destruction than a woman wielding a debit card.
So Patriot Lee and his then-fiancee got into an argument over her usage of the debit card for a suspicious $29 purchase, and he decided he simply needed to put a little fear in her to make sure she wouldn’t do this again. To achieve that end, he took the entirely practical steps of getting his loaded shot gun and shooting it in her general direction just to let her know he wasn’t kidding around.
Well, in the heat of the argument, which we’re sure Patriot Lee’s then-fiancée started, how was Patriot Lee supposed to keep track of her 10-year old son just before he pulled the trigger? Hey, the fact that the 10-year old boy got in the way of the shotgun blast was simply an accident so why compound the problem by sending such a Good Guy With a Gun to prison? Oh, right, I forgot it isn’t January 20. 2017 yet, and Dictator Obama is still in the White House.
Jury finds Lee guilty in 2014 shooting of 10-year-old ‘Bubbie’ Toombs
They threw a burrito at his car for Christ’s sake. Where’s the outrage??!!!???
Thomas Jones Thompson from our Orlando NSPA chapter was arrested last night basically for being so conscientious about his job as a Lake County detention deputy that he was willing to combat the forces of evil and depredation while he was off the clock.
It all started last night when Patriot Thompson was cruising the streets of Orlando in his personal vehicle, looking for troublemakers on his own dime because that’s the kind of selfless, dedicated guy his is. Well, he came across a couple of suspicious characters driving around so he pulled up beside them and ordered them to pull over even though he had no authority to do this, as reported in the Orlando Sentinel.
The care free troublemakers in the other car revealed their base intentions because they ignored the siren that Patriot Thompson had installed in his personal vehicle to use in situations just like this. The couple in the car claimed the siren sounded like a child’s toy, and they had the gall to swear at Patriot Thompson.
That’s all it took for Patriot Thompson to stop screwing around so he pulled out his gun and ordered them to pull over. To emphasize his point he allegedly tried swerving his car into them multiple times while shouting that he was going to shoot them.
Now this is when things turned ugly, and Patriot Thompson realized that his safety was in peril. The driver in the other car threw a Taco Bell burrito at his car. Thankfully Patriot Thompson escaped from the incident unharmed.
When the Mount Dora police department arrived on the scene and inspected Patriot Thompson’s car, they discovered it was equipped with a siren and front and rear emergency lights, which the Sheriff’s Department did not issue to him. They also found the gun Patriot Thompson had allegedly pointed at the other car. A background check revealed that he was reprimanded at work in 2013 for checking out spare patrol cars and using them for longer periods of time than necessary for his assignment.
Sure enough the liberal media has tried to paint Patriot Thompson as an insecure, emotionally immature middle aged child man who harbors pathetic fantasies of possessing stature and authority. So there is truth to the old adage that no good deed goes unpunished, particularly if you are a gun loving, small penised White man.
Patriot Thompson risked his own safety to get a burrito wielding maniac off the road, and the only thing he got out of it was an arrest for aggravated assault with a firearm and improper exhibition of a firearm, a charge which doesn’t even make sense if you ask us, and a liberal media smear job.
Cops: Lake deputy arrested after pointing gun at couple in road-rage incident
He says again, “Good fences make good neighbors.” MENDING WALL by Robert Frost
I says again, “A good gun fixes bad neighbors.” Lee Greenwood Hannity
Frederick C. Smith Jr. from our McMinnville NSPA chapter was Shanghaied by the McMinnville Police Department for doing nothing more than standing his ground against his annoying, land grabbing neighbor who was putting new boards on a fence that divided their properties. This noxious neighbor and Patriot Smith had been battling for the past three years over who had ownership of the fence.
See, Patriot Smith is a real man because, rather than resolving this property dispute by going to the McMinnville Municipal Planning Department for clarification of their land measurements, he chose to engage in an increasingly escalating battle of wills with his neighbor.
Well, last week Patriot Smith had no choice but to settle the matter once and for all when he saw his nudnik neighbor nailing new boards on the fence so he got his 9mm handgun and ran outside to confront him. Once he reached the fence, Patriot Smith loaded the clip and racked the gun to show who was the big man in the back yard. What must have burned up Patriot Smith the most was the nebbish neighbor’s nonplussed response of, “Nice gun.”
Then the nincompoop of a neighbor showed his true colors by running like a ninny into his house to call 9-1-1 rather than settling it like a real man by getting his own gun and having a showdown.
Patriot Smith figured he better get his side of the story to the police first so he drove to the McMinnville Police station to give his account of what happened. A lot of good that did because those gun hating police officers shuttled him off to the Yamhill County Jail on charges of suspicion of unlawful use of a weapon and menacing. #justanotherdayinobamasamerica
Neighbor dispute over fence prompts gun confrontation, arrest
Why is he being charged? He had every right to invoke the Stand Your Ground defense. Yes, the person he pulled his gun on was an unarmed 17-year old girl who was more than 40 yards from his home, but she was black. What more needs to be said?
Richard Garden from our Orlando NSPA chapter was shockingly arrested for doing nothing more than standing his ground, the very thing that every Florida resident is legally permitted to do. This travesty of justice started last week when a 17-year old girl lost control of her car and crashed into a small lamp post and a small section of plastic fencing around a flower garden in a residential neighborhood.
Patriot Garden, the ever vigilant protector of his neighborhood, ran out of his house to the front yard more than 40 yards away where the minor accident took place. He then drew his gun on the 17-year old unarmed girl and ordered her to get down to the ground on her stomach with her hands stretched out. He bravely acted as a lone sentinel until the Orange County Sheriff’s Department arrived to take this dangerous criminal off his hands.
Well, when those ungrateful deputies showed up, rather than thanking Patriot Garden for doing their jobs for them, they questioned why he had a gun trained on the girl. He promptly explained he feared for his life and was using Florida’s Stand Your Ground law. After all, the girl was black.
Apparently these activist deputies feel they don’t have to respect state LAW and went ahead and arrested Patriot Garden for aggravated assault and false imprisonment with a firearm. What the Hell is this country coming to?
Deputies: Man pulled gun on teenage driver after car crash
Once again, Dictator Obama’s Godless, liberal, big government, gun hating, nanny state minions interfere with a father who was doing nothing more than practicing some good old fashioned Bible based parenting.
Johnny Crawford from our Wilmington NSPA chapter was arrested Friday basically for practicing perfectly sound Bible based parenting techniques. If you go by what the police report says, you’ll see that Patriot Crawford was charged with aggravated battery, aggravated discharge of a firearm, aggravated assault and domestic battery. The county deputies who responded to an emergency call from Patriot Crawford’s home claimed they discovered Patriot Crawford “…had battered his daughter and fired several shots from a .22-caliber rifle in the direction of his daughter.”
Well, isn’t it interesting that those same deputies never bothered to consult a Bible while investigating this case. If they had, they might have viewed the situation differently (correctly) by reading the following verses:
Proverbs 22:15 : “Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.”
Ephesians 6:1 “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.”
Of course they didn’t read a Bible, so Patriot Crawford got hauled off to jail so Dictator Obama could get another Good Guy with a Gun off the streets so he can get all of our guns once that conniving puppet master Bloomberg gives him the command.
Man Shoots Gun at Daughter After Beating Her: Cops
Greetings from Asbury Park, and once again it’s the Family Court’s fault all of this happened.
Philip Seidle from our Asbury Park NSPA chapter was recently charged with murder, unlawful possession of a weapon and endangering his daughter’s welfare in an unfortunate turn of events caused by a cabal of New Jersey Family Courts. See, it all started back on May 27 when Patriot Seidle and his ex-wife finalized their divorce. Then this past Tuesday Patriot Seidle got into a little fender bender with his ex-wife that only occurred because she crashed into a parked car after she panicked (you know how women drivers are) because Patriot Seidle just happened to be driving behind her at a high rate of speed. Hell, Asbury Park isn’t that big so it shouldn’t be a surprise to see somebody you recognize just about anywhere you drive in the city. So if she had been a better driver and had not crashed into that damn parked car, Patriot Seidle never would have crashed into her.
Then things escalated a little quickly after the fender bender. Patriot Seidle got out of his car and pulled out his gun as he approached her car. Then to blow off some steam he shot into the driver’s side of her car repeatedly. Witnesses reported he yelled at his wife about all of the child custody cases he faced since the couple had nine children. After another burst of gunfire, a witness reported Patriot Seidle said, “I’m tired of going to court.”
Patriot Seidle then put his gun to his head and threatened to shoot. The Asbury Police were able to engage him in a standoff to talk him down, and Patriot Seidle allowed them to remove his 9-year old daughter from his ex-wife’s car, as only a great father would. As the police were busy tending to Patriot Seidle’s daughter, Patriot Seidle allegedly shot and killed his ex-wife through her car’s windshield.
So if we look at the situation as a whole, we recognize that Patriot Seidle wasn’t ultimately at fault because he never would have shot and killed his ex-wife if she had been a better driver and if the Family Courts weren’t so obviously rigged against proud, gun loving, small penised white men. However, if you look at the liberal media’s coverage of this domestic dispute, you would think this was entirely Patriot Seidle’s fault. That’s just the way Dictator Obama and his propaganda ministers want it to be, and that is the reason why we wage our battle here at the NSPA every day.
Cop kills ex-wife on street with daughter in his car
Well, what was he supposed to do after getting “disrespected” by one of those Vietnamese men? Besides, he had to protect himself from being lured into a tiger trap.
Randolph Headrick from our Omaha NSPA chapter was unfairly charged last week with unlawful discharge of a firearm, use of a firearm to commit a felony and second-degree assault and is being held on $150,000 bond while waiting to stand trial in Douglas County District Court, a well know bastion of liberal judicial activism so we all know how this is going to end.
It all started June 1 when a Fed Ex driver said he witnessed the driver of a silver Chrysler 300 firing from its sunroof at a white Ford pickup truck. It just so happened that Patriot Headrick was the driver of the car, and a Vietnam man, Tony Nguyen (like that first name will trick us into thinking he’s a real American, nice try……NOT!), was driving the pickup.
See, Patriot Headrick explained he felt “disrespected” when the driver of the truck cut him off in traffic so he did the one sensible thing a small penised white man can do when he feels his manhood has been diminished – he pulled out his gun and started shooting.
Should it be any surprise that the court system in America would restrict Patriot Headrick from how he could wage his fight with this Vietnam man, just like how our government restricted our military from how it could wage war against those Godless Northern Vietnam Communist bastards? No, it shouldn’t. If only we had been able to use some real American firepower in Vietnam, as in nuclear weapons, we could have bombed those bastards back to the 14th century, and we wouldn’t have had to deal with all of these God damn Pho restaurants seemingly popping up on every other block.
This is just another reason why you must continue to support the National Small Penis Association so we can fight for the rights of the most marginalized members of society.
Man accused of firing gun from sunroof at pickup that cut him off
It was obviously an accidental shooting that caused his wife to die so why is he facing an involuntary manslaughter charge?
Matthew Blakley from our Columbia NSPA chapter endured the indignity today of being charged with involuntary manslaughter and being fired from his job as a sheriff’s deputy from the Aiken County Sherrif’s Office for his involvement in the obviously accidental shooting of his wife in their home Saturday night.
As reported in the Savannah Morning News, when the police arrived to Patriot Blakley’s house Saturday night, Patriot Blakley ran outside with blood on his hands and identified himself as a deputy who had accidentally shot his wife. When the police went inside the home, the officers found Patriot Blakley’s wife in a bathtub, dead and bleeding from a gunshot to her head.
You would think there would have been something suspicious about the scene for Patriot Blakley to be charged with involuntary manslaughter, but there was nothing amiss. All the police found in the bathroom in addition to her corpse were a broken wedding ring, an M4 rifle, a spent shell and another man with blood on his hands who claimed he tried to give her CPR. Outside the bathroom, the police found guns all throughout the house.
So where in the world was there any indication that anything was out of the ordinary? Everything in the case points to an accidental shooting, but the court system had to conspire against Patriot Blakley because he is a gun loving, small penised White man. Our fight continues!
Ex-South Carolina deputy charged in fatal shooting of wife
Well, the political correctness police play ‘gotcha’ with a real police officer and get him fired so he can’t keep the streets of Chicago safe from marauding packs of black men….just the way Dictator Obama likes it.
Tim McDermott from our Chicago NSPA is sadly a victim of police brutality, as in police brutality at the bloody, sinewy hands of the political correctness police, but we are sure Reverend (spare us!) Al Sharpton will not be in front of the television cameras to rabble-rouse against this act of police brutality. Patriot McDermott until this past October was a proud member of the Chicago Police Department, a force which has had a sterling reputation for decades for its racial sensitivities, when he was fired for being in this picture taken in a Chicago Police station all the way back in 2003.
First off, this is clearly just a couple of good natured White officers simply horsing around with a young colored fella who we are sure was enjoying the harmless joshing. Excuse us, but we don’t see Patriot McDermott using his gun to shoot the colored fella so we don’t understand why the liberal media is all up in arms about this. Besides, the picture was taken 12 years ago. Haven’t the liberals who orchestrated his dismissal ever heard of ‘let bygones be bygones’? On second thought, they probably haven’t because they would need to be familiar with the teachings of Christ to have heard of it.
See, all this nonsense started when the FBI turned this picture over to the Chicago Police administration in 2013 after they had unearthed it while conducting a federal corruption investigation against Jerome Finnegan, the other officer in the picture and a former member of our Calumet City NSPA chapter. Sadly, they were able to fix the case against Patriot Finnegan, and he is now cooling his heels in a Federal prison while serving a 12-year sentence.
Now the trouble makers in the Chicago Police Bureau of Internal Affairs department are trying confirm the identity of the young man who Patriots McDermott and Finnegan forced to wear the antlers and pose for the picture. Speculation is that it was a young man arrested with his uncle on misdemeanor marijuana charges after their home was raided. The charges were dropped, so we don’t see the big deal. Jeez, some people just don’t know how to have fun.
It should come as no surprise to any true small penised Patriot, though, that this political correctness hit job went down in Chicago, which just happens to be the personal fiefdom of Dictator Obama.
Investigators seek to talk to family who says their loved one in racist police photo
His daddy is right. This was all the fault of “the liberal people.” His daddy also asked the salient question, “Where does a white male get help?”
James Boulware, formerly of our Dallas NSPA chapter, has been in the news lately because it was a slow news cycle, and the 24-hour news channels had to fill their airtime with something so they crammed it full of reports of Patriot Boulware’s armed assault on the Dallas Police Department’s headquarters and the ensuing 9-hour rampage and standoff he engaged in against the Dallas police. The stand off ended outside a Jack In The Box restaurant after a sniper killed Patriot Boulware.
As Patriot Boulware’s father explained, Patriot Boulware simply reached his breaking point after he lost custody of his son, which caused him to go after the Dallas Police, who were involved in taking his son away. Patriot Boulware’s father tried to steer his son away from being angry at the police. Instead, he made the point to his son that, “you gotta go back to the liberal people that put these laws in place, to where the [authorities] can grab kids and take them away.” When asked why his son didn’t seek out help in the custody matter, he replied, “Where? Where does a white male get help?”
He is exactly right. White men are helpless in Dictator Obama’s America, and only a bunch of liberals from our nanny state government could have possibly viewed Patriot Boulware as an unfit father and felt they had the right to step in and abduct his son from him. It’s such a shame that his son will never have the opportunity to grow under Patriot Boulware’s tutelage to learn how to develop into a well adjusted man who is well equipped to handle life’s adversities. That’s just the way Dictator Obama wants it.
Dallas Shooter’s Father Says Son ‘Reached Breaking Point,’ Blamed Cops for Custody Loss
Once the media hysteria dies down, everybody will come to their senses and see that the real culprit here is the incompetent marriage counselor.
Jeremy Green from our San Diego NSPA chapter was arrested hours ago at the Mexico border to face accusations that he shot and killed his wife last Saturday, but we would like everybody to take a deep breath and relax before jumping to conclusions. First, let’s just say that if he did shoot and kill his wife, it appears it happened just after they got into an argument right after they left their marriage counseling appointment. Now, if you ask me, if this is what actually happened, I’m thinking the marriage counselor is the one at fault and should be charged with some kind of professional malfeasance. Hell, this marriage counselor must be about as effective as Leroy and Loretta Lockhorn’s marriage counselor.
Second, we think the more likely scenario is that Patriot Green, being the good small penised, gun loving White man that he is, was probably down in Mexico because he went there to stop all of those dangerous Mexican teen age drug runners with calves the size of cantaloupes they developed from carrying bales of marijuana that Congressman Steve King warned us about from entering America. Patriot Green had to do this because Dictator Obama certainly wasn’t going to. So please pray to Jesus Christ that Patriot Green will be released so he can get back to keeping our borders safe.
EXCLUSIVE: Man accused of killing wife in Scripps Ranch surrenders at border
Talk about getting mixed signals from a woman. She had a “happiness is a warm gun” tattoo after all.
It’s bad enough that Paul Boyce from our Lancaster County NSPA chapter is currently serving a 10 to 15 years prison term after pleading no contest to second-degree assault for shooting his girlfriend with his .22-caliber gun in an incident that we’re sure was an accident. However, to add insult to injury, Lancaster County District Judge Steven Burns, who we’re sure got his appointment through some string pulling by Dictator Obama, has just entered a judgment of $19,567.75 against Patriot Boyce in favor of Patriot Boyce’s ex-girlfriend to cover the cost of the medical treatment she needed after Patriot Boyce shot her (accidentally, we’re sure, but the crooked court system doesn’t care) last year.
On top of that, get this, a jury will be asked at a civil trial to determine if she deserves more for pain and suffering. Oh please. You know she’ll probably walk up to the witness box with an exaggerated limp and collapse onto her chair. Then she’ll start crying and dabbing her eyes with a pink hankie as she whines about how much her life has changed since Patriot Boyce lodged a bullet near her spine. Then to really try to manipulate the jury, she’ll show the scar that resulted from the bullet that exited her flesh through her “happiness is a warm gun” tattoo. If you listen closely, you can hear the beeping from the Brinks truck backing up to her.
This is so typical of the diabolical trickster nature of women. She flounced around showing off her ‘happiness is a warm gun’ tattoo and used her Delilah like wiles to lure Patriot Boyce into her ricin laced spider web. Then once she had him trapped, we’re sure she manipulated him to shoot her so she could get her payday. That’s women for you, and that’s exactly why we recommend the company of a warm gun over a warm vajayjay, or whatever the hell it was that Oprah called it.
Inmate to pay medical bills after shooting girlfriend in ‘happiness is a warm gun’ tattoo
There’s nothing like hands on experience to teach yourself about guns. We’re not some snobby eggheads locked up in a college laboratory doing meaningless experiments that have no real world application.
One of Patriot Hirtle’s favorite guns as featured on his hip Myspace page.
Adam Hirtle from our Colorado Springs NSPA chapter has been in the news today after he shot himself in his foot early today so he could see what if feels like to be shot, as he explained to the Colorado Springs Police who responded to the shooting at Patriot Hirtle’s home. That is the kind of ‘can do’ spirit we have here at the NSPA, but sure enough the gun hating Colorado Springs Police Department appallingly arrested Patriot Hirtle for suspicion of prohibited use of weapons, reckless endangerment and child abuse just because there happened to be a few children nearby.
Dictator Obama will do anything he can to stifle the type of valuable gun research done by Patriot Hirtle and use a perfectly legitimate experiment as an excuse to persecute and lock up yet another Good Guy With a Gun. However, this miscarriage of justice only motivates us to wake up every morning to do the advocacy work of the NSPA. Sorry, Dictator Obama.
Cops: Adam Hirtle Shot Himself in the Foot to See How It Felt
Yes, he shot and killed his daughter, but you have to look at it in its context.
Robert Stern from our Dubuque NSPA chapter was arrested and charged with First Degree Murder yesterday in the shooting death of his 27-year old daughter. He is now residing at the Dubuque County Jail to wait for his initial court appearance. The police came to Patriot Stern’s house after he called 9-1-1 to report somebody in his house might be deceased. When the police arrived, Patriot Stern brought them to his daughter’s bedroom where the police found her dead as a result of multiple gunshot wounds. According to a report by the police department, Patriot Stern admitted he shot and killed his daughter.
Sure, a lot of his neighbors were horrified by the act, but they are not considering the fact that Patriot Stern recently received a cancer diagnosis and was reporting that he was bummed out about it. How could anybody expect him to confront his own mortality with any semblance of dignity and grace? We only hope that whatever jury he faces will give him a little well deserved slack when they decide his fate because we need this Good Guy With a Gun back on the streets to fight the good fight
Dubuque Police: Man at residence under death investigation shot and killed daughter
Look, just like he said, it was all really his wife’s fault.
Michael Augustine Bournes, formerly of our Deer Lodge NSPA chapter, is unfortunately no longer with us to advocate for gun rights for small penised White men because his nagging wife forced him to kill her, their three children (ages 5,4 and 1) and then himself with his prized .45 caliber handgun. Poor Patriot Bournes had no choice but to take this action because, as he explained to a friend shortly before the murders, his wife had been “mocking him and riding him all day long.” What other course of action could Patriot Bournes possibly have taken besides shooting and killing his entire family considering the daily emotional abuse he had to suffer at his wife’s hands?
Not only was Patriot Bournes a proud small penised gun lover, but he was also an arch Constitutionalist who didn’t believe in government and who lived his life in the mountains of Montana as a survivalist. Sadly, Patriot Bournes could survive the tyranny of Dictator Obama’s government by heading for the hills, but he could not survive the constant, corrosive, cancerous, carping criticism of his wife.
Murder-suicide victims identified; shooter blamed his wife
Our New Media consultant told us nicknames are a way for the NSPA to increase its “cool factor” with a younger demographic. So we proudly introduce to you Charles R. ‘Mad Dog’ Whittington.
Charles R. ‘Mad Dog’ Whittington from our Portland, Indiana NSPA chapter has just been promoted to be Chairman of our New Membership Recruitment Committee. We know his cool nickname and cool neck tattoos will give us entrée to the hip millennial demographic that has so far eluded us.
However, there will be a slight delay to the roll out of our new membership drive to be headed by Patriot Mad Dog because he has to waste his time with an upcoming trial in the Blackford Circuit Court because he has been accused of shooting and killing a neighbor and the neighbor’s 14-year old daughter. We are sure this was all just a case of mistaken identity, and the judge will throw the case out once the trial gets started. We can’t wait to get this Good Guy With a Gun back on the streets to keep the good people of Portland, Indiana safe.
‘Mad Dog’ wants murder trial moved
Look, he had two perfectly good alibis. First, he said it was an accident, and then he said it was an act of self defense, but the biased jury didn’t listen to either because they were determined to find him guilty from the get-go.
Thad Robertson from our Cedar City NSPA chapter was inexplicably convicted on two counts of aggravated murder for the shooting deaths of his girlfriend and a male friend of hers even though he had two perfectly good alibis. It all started when Patriot Robertson returned home one afternoon at the same time some guy had just arrived to the house. This bozo then had the nerve to ask Patriot Robertson if he wanted to come into his own home.
Patriot Robertson left to cool off. When he returned, he found this same guy in his house talking to his girlfriend. Patriot Robertson figured they were having an affair. Then he did the perfectly sensible thing by going into another room to get a revolver. See, he just wanted to scare the guy out of the house so he pointed the gun at his girlfriend. He thought there was an empty chamber in the revolver’s cylinder so he pulled the trigger to get them to think he wasn’t screwing around.
Well, it was a surprise to him that there actually wasn’t an empty chamber so he completely accidentally shot his girlfriend in the head. Then he realized the other guy was getting up from his seat so Patriot Robertson knew he needed to act in self defense in case the other guy had ever been a Navy Seal and was trained to kill somebody who is pointing a gun at him.
Unfortunately, the jury bought the prosecutor’s fairy tale explanation that Patriot Robertson killed the two in an act of jealous rage. In addition to the miscarriage of justice, we are sickened that yet again another Good Guy With a Gun is being taken off the streets.
Jury convicts Cedar City man for 2013 double-murder
The police claim it was a case of murder murder-suicide, but we suspect Patriot Rick was murdered and framed for his estranged wife’s death because he made a living by training others how to protect themselves from active shooters. See, he probably caused a criminal to get arrested, and then this criminal spent all of his time in jail to plot his revenge.
Lance Rick, formerly of our West Fargo NSPA chapter, was sadly found dead by the West Fargo Police Department earlier this week. They also happened to find his estranged wife’s corpse next to his dead body so the lazy bones officers jumped to the conclusion that a murder suicide took place.
However, if you did a little deeper into the case, you realize why there was no way Patriot Rick could have committed a crime like this. See, Patriot Rick operated his own business called Rick Professional Services, which had specialized in human resources and workplace safety. Just last year he gave a presentation on how to deal with active shooters, armed intruder and threats to employees.
Who would believe for a second that an upstanding White guy like this would confront his estranged wife in a moment of emotional instability and shoot her once in her body and once in her head before ending his own life with the gun? That’s why we’re pretty sure that some career criminal probably got locked up in prison by somebody who attended one of Patriot Rick’s presentations on how to stop armed intruders and swore vengeance that he would one day get out of prison and would hunt down the man who had been responsible for putting him there. So when he got out of prison, he killed Patriot Rick and his estranged wife and made it look like Patriot Rick had committed a murder suicide, thereby destroying the good name of this totally emotionally stable small penised, proud White Patriot.
Now, we would also like to point out that Dictator Obama famously visited South Dakota last month, which made it the last of all the states in the Union for him to visit since he entered the White House. Well, isn’t it a coincidence that he was recently just one state away from West Fargo, North Dakota less than 30 days ago, which would have been the perfect time for him to begin laying the groundwork to prepare a career criminal with a grudge to take out a proud gun lover like Patriot Rick. It all seems pretty obvious to us. We waited to see if Newsmax would report on this story. However, when we saw they didn’t have anything about this case on their website, we decided to take the lead. We will keep you posted on further developments in this case.
West Fargo police identify couple killed in suspected murder-suicide
Look, we’re sure he was simply trying to help his ex-girlfriend prepare for how to handle an armed intruder who enters her bedroom in the middle of the night while she is asleep.
Well, we guess there is much truth in the saying that no good deed goes unpunished. David Charles Ray from our O’Brien NSPA chapter was arrested last week on trumped up charges of aggravated assault with a firearm, battery by strangulation, and simple battery, all domestic violence counts. If you listen to the gun hating thugs in the Suwannee County Sheriff’s Office, you’ll believe that he allegedly broke into his ex-girlfriend’s bedroom and strangled her before shooting his gun at her and putting it to her head. Yeah, right.
No, we know what really happened. See, Patriot Ray wanted to make sure she would be safe in the future since she wouldn’t have him and his gun around to protect her now that they are no longer a couple. So he simply simulated a midnight attack so she would be better prepared to react in the future if she ever finds herself facing an attacker alone.
The most effective way to train somebody for such an event is to simulate the experience as realistically as possible. That explains why he would have woke her up by punching her in the head and then choking her until she could not breathe. Then, when she broke free from him, that’s why he would have shot six rounds from his gun at her feet to get her to stop. Then, to help her develop the muscle memory to train her body how to go into defense mode instinctively in such a situation, he put his gun to her forehead, which is what we are speculating.
If you ask us, that sounds like the act of a gracious and thoughtful ex-boyfriend who wants to help his ex-girlfriend prepare for life without him. Sure enough, though, the Obama regime saw a chance to frame a Good Guy With a Gun and get him locked up. This type of injustice will never happen once we get Jeb Bush into the White House.
SCSO: O’Brien man put gun to ex-girlfriend’s head
We’re sure it was all a misunderstanding. We think he probably meant to join a Gordon Lightfoot fan club, not the 63rd Light Foot Militia.
Roy Murry from our Lewiston NSPA chapter was arrested and put in jail under a $3 million bail for allegedly torturing and fatally shooting 3 people before burning them in an attempt to cover up the murders. The three victims just happen to be the mother, step father and step brother of Patriot Murry’s estranged wife, which we think was just a coincidence. After the bodies were discovered, everybody jumped to conclusions and pointed their fingers at Patriot Murry just because he increasingly appeared to be obsessed with guns, was always carrying a gun and frequently wore body armor.
In addition to that the authorities made much of Patriot Murry’s apparent involvement with the 63rd Light Foot Militia for tactical firearms training. However, we have heard that Patriot Murry is a big Gordon Lightfoot fan and probably initially thought he was joining a Gordon Lightfoot fan club.
Patriot Murry was arrested after a Spokane County Sheriff’s detective found blood stains and a handgun believed to be used in the murders in his car. However, we would like to point out Patriot Murry had a perfectly good explanation. He told the authorities that he worked for the CIA and speculated that the Russian Secret Police was responsible for the murders. This sounds reasonable to us.
Don’t expect the gun hating police, though, to investigate this story because we all know the fix is in to send Patriot Murry to jail. Dictator Obama wants to get another Good Guy With a Gun locked up, and Dictator Obama gets what Dictator Obama wants.
Triple Murder Suspect Honed Firearms Skills with Eastern Washington Militia
Insensitive deputies had no empathy for this NSPA member.
Jason Proctor from our Statesboro NSPA chapter was arrested today by deputies from the Bulloch County Sheriff’s Department for allegedly pointing a gun at them while he was buck naked. See, it all started after Patriot Proctor took the prudent step to call 9-1-1 to report bugs were biting his legs. When the deputies arrived, they found Patriot Proctor naked. Then in a vulnerable moment he pointed a gun at one of the deputies. Without considering the context of the situation, the deputies arrested him for aggravated assault on a police officer and possession of a firearm in the commission of a crime.
What really burns us up is that the deputies didn’t consider for one moment that maybe Patriot Proctor needed to brandish the gun because he was naked and feeling particularly self conscious about the size of his penis. Patriot Proctor was never going to harm the deputy. He was simply trying to feel like more of a man, but apparently that is now a crime in Obama’s America. So it’s just another case of a Good Guy With a Gun being taken off the streets by fiat from Dictator Obama.
Naked man arrested in Bulloch County for pulling gun on deputies
Yeah, he shot an 8-year old boy in the face, but you’ve got to look at the bigger picture.
Brian Cloninger from our Dallas NSPA chapter (which happens to be our largest) appeared in court this morning to begin his trial for shooting an 8-year old boy in the face in 2013. Sure enough, the gun hating prosecutor was claiming that Patriot Cloninger was drunk on the day of the shooting and that he was stumbling around an apartment complex parking lot, waving his gun. We’re guessing he was there on the lookout for those Mexican boys we’ve heard about who have calves the size of cantaloupes from smuggling bales of drugs into our country. So he was doing nothing more than trying to keep Dallas safe from these Mexican thugs when this 8-year old boy rode his bike onto the scene.
One thing led to another, and before you knew it, a bullet went from Patriot Cloninger’s gun and ended up in the boy’s face. Yeah, the accident may have disfigured the boy, but he didn’t die. We’re not so sure he would have survived if one of those Mexican drug smugglers had gotten a hold of him. Besides, there are plenty of stories in the news about all of the medical advances being made in the field of face transplants.
We’re sure the kid will be able to get a new face soon enough so why should the prosecutor be trying to take a Good Guy With a Gun off the streets, particularly in the number 1 border state in America? Our guess is that the order to prosecute this case came directly from Dictator Obama because he wants to destroy America from within by getting as many Good Guys With Guns locked up as possible.
Trial begins for the man accused of shooting an 8-year-old Dallas boy in the face
NSPA member arrested for simply saying hello to his neighbor.
John Harris from our Moscow Mills (don’t worry, it’s Communist free, we’ve checked) NSPA chapter was arrested Friday night by the Lincoln County Sheriff’s Office after he allegedly fired his Beretta 9mm handgun in his trailer, sending the bullet through his neighbor’s trailer. Oh, and the bullet just happened to graze his neighbor’s leg, but it certainly didn’t kill him. The gun hating police, who are not so secretly concerned that they will soon be obsolete once people see how effective Good Guys With Guns can be with stopping crime, rushed to the scene and harassed Patriot Harris to tell them he had been drinking all day in addition to taking his Xanax anti anxiety medication. Excuse us, Lincoln County Sheriff’s Office, but among those of us who have lived in a trailer park know, the combination of alcohol and Xanax is known as a trailer park aperitif.
Then they badgered Patriot Harris about the gunshot. Look, what they don’t understand about the gunshot is that trailer park residents typically shoot into their neighbor’s trailer as a way of saying hello. However, don’t expect that elitist snob Dictator Obama to know this because he doesn’t know real Americans and has never lived in a trailer park. So now Patriot Harris is facing a felony charge of unlawful use of a weapon while intoxicated. In other words, it’s against the law to have fun in Lincoln County.
Drunk man shoots into neighbor’s trailer in Lincoln County, authorities say
He was just trying “to get some things straight.” Where’s the crime in that?
Ronald James Pebeashy from our Bartlesville NSPA chapter was arrested Wednesday after allegedly pointing his gun at people in a home. The person who called the police jumped to conclusions by expressing a belief that Patriot Pebeashy may have been intoxicated. From his mugshot my guess is that he was just really tired. He probably worked a 10 hour shift and then went to a Wednesday evening church service before going into that house so it was likely that he was simply sleep deprived. Then the caller said Patriot Pebeashy was in the house to argue with the occupants “to get some things straight.” Since when did conflict resolution ever become a crime?
As reported in the Bartlesville Examiner – Enterprise, the police interviewed witnesses who said Patriot Pebeashy “took out a firearm from the front of his waistband and began to wave it around at all of the people in the house.” He allegedly “began to point it at everyone in the house” and “acted like the gun was going off in his hand by jerking it with his finger on the trigger” while pointing it at one man.
Just like Patriot Pebeashy, we would like to get some things straight. First, there’s nothing wrong with carrying a gun in the front of your waistband. That’s where all of us in the NSPA prefer to carry our firearms. Second, he didn’t actually pull a trigger. Look, he was basically just pantomiming that he was shooting a gun. When did that suddenly become a crime? I suppose the big shots in the Washington County Sheriff’s Office are going to issue a warrant for the arrest of Marcel Marceau. Wait, maybe they’ll get an emergency call that there is a criminal in the park who appears to be pulling an impossibly long piece of invisible rope.
The real crime here is that the bozos in the Washington County Sheriff’s Office have charged Patriot Pebeashy with three counts of feloniously pointing a firearm. How many Good Guys With Guns are we going to allow Dictator Obama to arrest before we take to the streets?
“HANDS UP, PUNK, YOU’RE UNDER ARREST!”
WCSO: Man arrested after allegedly pointing gun
Good news! The member of our NSPA Emmaus, PA chapter who accidentally shot himself in the groin this week is perfectly fine.
Thank you to everybody who has contacted the NSPA headquarters to check on the status of the member of our Emmaus chapter who accidentally shot himself in the groin earlier this week at the Steel City Gun Club while he was attending a concealed carry course. The accident happened when he tried to holster his gun and some of his clothing got caught in the trigger. The Bethlehem police have asked that we not release this proud Patriot’s name until he has been released from the hospital. However, a department spokesman assured us the proud Patriot was not injured seriously because his penis is so small that the bullet only hit his inner right thigh. We pray to Jesus Christ for his speedy release from the hospital because we will all feel a lot safer when we know this Good Guy With a Gun is back on the streets to use his concealed gun to protect us from any dangerous criminals who might try to recklessly and irresponsibly injure us.
Pa. man at police gun range class accidentally shoots self in groin
The Phoenix NSPA chapter is in the news!
We sure are proud of all of the news interest generated by Jon Ritzheimer from our NSPA Phoenix chapter who helped us organize the big anti-Muslim rally scheduled for tonight outside of the Islamic Community Center of Phoenix. Patriot Ritzheimer is encouraging everybody to come with their guns and to have all of their bullets coated in pig blood and pig fat. In addition to that he is sponsoring a ‘Draw Muhammad’ cartoon contest. We Christians have to stand up to these Islamic lunatics who try to spread hate through their interpretation and practice of a bunch of made up stories created nearly 2,000 years ago that somehow still get taken seriously as a “real” religion.
Though I was actively involved in organizing the rally and planned on traveling to Phoenix tonight to help lead it, I had to cancel at the last minute due to some serious problem I’ve had with bursitis. Otherwise, I would be there front and center to fight on behalf of Jesus Christ. See, we here at the NSPA care about more than just advocating on behalf of gun rights for small penised White men. We also fight on behalf of Christianity, the one true faith.
Even though I will not be in the thick of the potential armed confrontation in Phoenix tonight, I will be staging a protest here in Akron. See, my mother just a little while ago brought over a bottle of witch hazel and rubbed it on my knees and shoulders where I have bursitis. That really cleared things up so I am now ready for action. I live near a Lebanese restaurant where a lot of Muslims go so I will be spying on them tonight from behind a tree across the street from the restaurant. I will keep you all posted on what I see.
Arizona anti-Muslim rally organizer defends selling ‘F*ck Islam’ shirt: “I’m a Marine, and I’m not politically correct.”
Now let’s hold on a minute. This was actually a case of self defense.
Mark McCauley from our Columbus, Texas NSPA chapter appeared in Platte County Court yesterday for a felony first appearance hearing on charges of making terroristic threats and use of a firearm to commit a felony in connection with a harmless incident last week in an Applebee’s parking lot.
See, Patriot McCauley started the evening having a few drinks in the Applebee’s. Well, the busybody restaurant manager told Patriot McCauley he would have to report him to the police if he tried to leave while under the influence of alcohol. Well, Patriot McCauley wasn’t going to put up with this so he announced his plan to go to his car to sleep it off.
While he was in his car regaining his sobriety. Two nosy women who had been in the restaurant when the manager gave his warning decided to insert themselves into Patriot McCauley’s business. So they strolled over to his car to wake him up and offer him a ride. That’s when Patriot McCauley rolled down the window and pointed his gun out at the two women. Sure enough, they got all hysterical and ran away to call the police. Patriot McCauley knew it was time to hightail it so he drove away in haste over the parking lot curb and returned to the long term motel where he had been staying. That’s when the police showed up and arrested him.
Yeah, the media is making much of the fact that his blood alcohol level was .112 even after all the time it took for the police to track him down. The media also made much of how terrified the two women were to be confronted with a loaded 9mm handgun. The real truth, though, is that Patriot McCauley was acting in self defense. Think about how much more dangerous it would have been for him to get in the car with those two women drivers. He had no choice but to stand his ground and brandish his gun to scare them away. Hell, everybody knows women drivers are 40 times more dangerous than a loaded handgun. In light of this information we are calling on the judge assigned this case to drop all charges immediately.
Man accused of pointing gun at women in parking lot
Here’s the real story on why the Harrisburg police arrested this Harrisburg fireman for doing nothing more than pointing his MAC 10 at them.
Matthew Duvall from our Harrisburg NSPA chapter and a member of the Harrisburg fire department was arrested Sunday by the gun hating Harrisburg police department. This initially appeared to be yet another story of government agents stripping a proud, small penised White man of his liberty for exercising his 2nd Amendment right to have a ridiculously unnecessarily powerful gun to help him deal with deeply held self esteem issues. However, upon further research, we here at the NSPA headquarters have unearthed the even more inexcusable reason for Patriot Duvall’s arrest.
See, next week is the annual charity softball game between the Harrisburg police and fire departments. Even though softball is a stupid game that should really only be played by girls (if you ask us), the Harrisburg police take the game seriously and wanted to get Patriot Duvall arrested on trumped up charges so his big bat wouldn’t be in the lineup. We are petitioning the Harrisburg prosecutor to drop all charges against Patriot Duvall immediately.
As for softball, this is a perfect example of why women don’t deserve to be paid as much as men. Please introduce me to one person who thinks Jennie Finch
deserves to be paid as much as a real class act like Alex Rodriguez.
Face it, men deserve more money than women because we are stronger and have more skills.
Harrisburg firefighter accused of pointing gun at police
Patriot Sather was keeping America safe when he (allegedly) shot and killed
this devil like beast from Russia.
Anthony Sather, a rising star from our Elk River NSPA chapter, was in court today and given a trial date of June 4th to face accusations that he tortured and killed his ex-girlfriend’s Husky Shiba Inu mix named Draco this past January. Patriot Sather is accused of puling Draco from his kennel and then punching him in the head repeatedly before slamming him multiple times on a concrete floor. He then allegedly dragged Draco outside and kicked him numerous times, ignoring his yelps, and then shot him multiple times, leaving him to slowly die in a ditch. His ex-girlfriend purportedly found videos Patriot Sather filmed of the violent acts in which he gloated and declared the joy he was deriving from his acts.
Sure enough a legion of man hating women who prefer the company of dogs over the company of real manly men have been protesting outside the courthouse to demand Patriot Sather face more charges than just felony animal torture, two counts of drug possession, and two additional gun charges which included one for discharging a dangerous weapon. It shouldn’t be a surprise that these hysterical harpies have failed to see the big picture. See, the dog in question was a Husky Shiba Inu mix. One half of the mix is a Siberian Husky. Siberia – Russia – Vladimir Putin’s plans for world domination. Hello, how much more obvious can it be what the stakes were when Patriot Sather took his stand? Thank Jesus Christ that we have NSPA members using their guns every day all across America to keep us safe from the sick, unstable deviants out there who want to do nothing more than to hurt and destroy.
Trial date set for dog killer
SPECIAL MEMORIAL DAY TRIBUTE
We here at the NSPA would like to thank some of our heroes for their service to our country on this special day. They always supported sending troops into ambiguous, chaotic situations without wasting a lot of time worrying about things like consequences because that’s what real men do. Also, they know the horrors of war first hand so they don’t make these decisions lightly.
George W. Bush – He kept Texas safe during the Vietnam War through his selfless service in the Texas Air National Guard.
Dan Quayle – He kept Indiana safe during the Vietnam War through his service in the Indiana National Guard.
Rush Limbaugh – We’re sure he wanted to serve in Vietnam, but he unfortunately couldn’t go because he got a medical exemption for having an anal cyst.
Saxby Chambliss – This former Republican Senator was a big cheerleader for the Iraq War. Unfortunately he wasn’t able to serve in Vietnam because a “high school football injury” left him with bad knees. Thankfully those knee injuries never prevented him from pursuing his lifelong passion for golf.
Dick Cheney – Well, unfortunately he didn’t get to serve in Vietnam because as he said he had “other priorities.” Thankfully those priorities included laying the long term groundwork for the liberation of Iraq.
Please observe a moment of silence today to honor these brave Patriots.
We in the NSPA are sovereign citizens so if we’re not going to listen to Federal officials what makes you think we’re going to listen to some independent contractors painting lines in a Wal Mart parking lot? Of course we’re going to pull a gun to show who’s the boss.
James Caple from our Rice Lake NSPA chapter was arrested last week on trumped up charges of drunk driving, having a gun while intoxicated (WTF, when did that become a crime?) and recklessly endangering safety after the police pulled him over for allegedly pointing a gun at workers who were painting lines in a Wal Mart parking lot. See, the busy body painters told Patriot Caple he could not drive over the wet paint they had just applied to the parking lot. How silly is that? Some emotionally insecure, immature men feel empowered when they are holding a paint brush in their hands because this is the only time their lives that they feel they can call the shots.
Patriot Caple certainly wasn’t going to get pushed around by these losers so he pulled out his gun to show them who was really in charge. Well, then the gun hating police who pulled him over claimed he was drunk and had a loaded gun in his pocket. I guess they’ll do whatever it takes to get a Good Guy With a Gun off the streets to advance Dictator Obama’s master plan.
Rice Lake Police: Man pointed gun at workers in Walmart parking lot
Yes! CLEVELAND ROCKS! Justice is served in Cleveland today!!!!
Today was a day of celebration in the NSPA national headquarters in Akron as we cheered the verdict in nearby Cleveland where Cleveland police officer and NSPA member Michael Brelo was found not guilty of manslaughter in the shooting deaths of 2 unarmed people back in 2012. It all started when the 2 victims led 100 Cleveland police officers on a high speed chase for more than 20 miles. After the 2 victims rammed their car into a Cleveland patrol car, Cleveland police fired over 100 rounds into their car.
Then Patriot Brelo jumped out of his car and ran like T.J. Hooker towards the victims’ destroyed car. He jumped on the car hood and shot an additional 15 rounds at them through the windshield. Well, the victims didn’t do a good job of surviving the barrage of bullets, and the police discovered the victims were unarmed. Ooops. See, at the outset of the chase the police thought they heard a gun fired from the victims’ car, but investigators determined that noise had simply been the car backfiring. Hey, misunderstandings happen.
We were afraid the judge who presided over the bench trial and determined the verdict would bow to pressure to convict since another Cleveland police officer shot and killed a 12-year-old boy who was brandishing an air gun in a park back in November. Thankfully Cuyahoga County Common Pleas judge O’Donnell ruled only on the facts of the case and determined nothing possibly wrong happened here. Oh , by the way, I believe I forgot to mention earlier that the two people shot in the car and the 12-year-old boy were black. I wonder what the odds are for something like that to happen. Just something to think about.
The extra good news out of all of this is that all of the Republicans who will be coming to Cleveland in 2016 for the Republican National Convention can rest assured that the Cleveland police will keep them safe from any undesirable characters who might try to bother them during their stay. I’ll be there front in center as a proud Super Delegate from Ohio to cast my support for Jeb Bush to thank him for being the first Governor to sign Stand Your Ground legislation (the NSPA’s best friend) into law. Go, Jeb, go!
Look, modern art sucks and deserves to be shot so where’s the crime?
Louis Cancelliere from our Prescott NSPA chapter was arrested this past weekend for shooting a painting. The Prescott Police hauled him off to Yavapai County Jail and smacked him with charges of discharging a firearm within city limits, reckless endangerment and trespassing. It all started when Patriot Cancelliere’s roommate brought a painting to their backyard and began punching it. This got on Patriot Cancelliere’s nerves so he asked his roommate if he wanted the painting “dead.”
One thing led to another and soon enough Patriot Cancelliere was pulling the trigger on his .45-caliber handgun and shooting the painting. Now if only Patriot Cancelliere had shot a painting of Jesus Christ, the National Endowment of the Arts would have given him a $200,000 grant and labeled his efforts as performance art. Hell, that Muslim Obama would have handed him the check personally. In our opinion Patriot Cancelliere only made the painting a better work of art. After all, what painting wouldn’t look a little better with a couple of bullet holes in it?
Prescott man arrested after shooting painting
Look, he was simply teaching (admittedly in an unconventional manner) his 5-year old stepdaughter that there is no time for screwing around while taking a bath. What’s the big deal?
Michael Vickers from our London, Kentucky NSPA chapter was arrested by the Laurel County Sheriff’s department Monday night for allegedly pointing his 9 mm handgun at his 5-year old stepdaughter for splashing water on the bathroom floor while she was taking a bath. The Laurel County Sheriff’s department apparently doesn’t have anything better to do than tear apart heterosexual couples and their children (real families, in other words) so they charged Patriot Vickers with wanton endangerment, endangering the welfare of a minor and menacing.
Patriot Vickers explained to the Deputy on the case and the do gooder social worker dispatched to the house to harass him that he didn’t think pointing a gun at the child was a big deal. We couldn’t agree more. He was perfectly right to punish her for wasting water in such a selfish manner when it could have been used for so many better purposes in these days of droughts. For example that water could have been used to baptize doomed souls into the one true faith of Jesus Christ and save them from a lifetime of poor decision making. Dictator Obama won’t listen to this reasoning, though, because Muslims don’t believe in the concept of baptism so the legal system deck is stacked against Patriot Vickers, all the more reason for the NSPA to continue our work.
London man charged after pointing gun at 5-year old girl for splashing water
There’s a perfectly good reason why he shot and killed two defenseless roosters.
John Warner from our Lee County NSPA chapter was arrested last night for shooting and killing two roosters according to Lee County Sheriff Jim Sholl. He was charged with misdemeanor disorderly conduct, animal neglect and prohibited hunting or shooting. The rooster shooting occurred after Patriot Warner got into argument with his neighbor, and right on cue the gun hating PETA crew has been questioning why a grown man would feel the need to shoot and kill two defenseless roosters.
Well, it’s pretty obvious that roosters are used in cockfighting, and cockfighting is the number one pastime of the illegal Mexican immigrants who Dictator Obama is trying to sneak into our country to deliver anchor babies to take us over eventually. We’re guessing these roosters were probably anchor roosters that Patriot Warner’s neighbors were going to use in cockfights to entertain a horde of unwashed, illegal Mexican immigrants who are preparing to destroy America from within once they get the command from Dictator Obama. Patriot Warner was doing nothing more than standing America’s ground against this Mexican threat when he shot and killed the two roosters. Viva the real America!
Fight between neighbors ends with two roosters shot and killed
First I had to sit through Mad Max:
Fury Road The Vagina Monologues this past weekend, now I have to read that the Boy Scouts of America has banned squirt gun fights. Proud Patriots, I’m afraid I have to announce that today is the day America died!
Well, I actually do want to tell you, “I told you so.” See, I had been telling anybody who would listen for years about the dire consequences that would occur if we let homosexuals into the Boy Scouts of America. Just like what happened when nobody listened to Cassandra’s warnings to the people of Troy not to let the giant wooden horse within the city walls, look at what has happened to the Boy Scouts now that there are homosexuals in their ranks. Now we’ve got the organization banning water guns and restricting water balloons to the size of ping pong balls. Are you the least bit surprised these changes occurred shortly after the National Boys Scouts of America began welcoming homosexuals into their fold? No, I didn’t think so.
“Our mission is to prepare young people for life and part of that duty is to ensure our youth become civically-minded adults,” said Michigan Crossroads Marketing and Communications director Kerrie Mitchell. “Pointing a simulated firearm at another individual is not aligned with our Scout Oath nor Scout Law.” So as you can see, Dictator Obama is trying to use Scout Law as a cover to sneak in Sharia Law to confiscate our guns and destroy our country. However, as long as there is just one member of the National Small Penis Association, we will be fighting him all the way.
Boy Scouts Ban Water Gun Fights, Limit Water Balloons, Say They’re Not ‘Kind’
A. John Gannon
B. Barry Lindsey
We here at the NSPA are regularly proud of the attention our members bring to our organization by appearing every day in news publications all across America. Who needs a publicist or a public relations firm when you have proud NSPA Patriots generating free publicity through their gun loving exploits? So today for a change of pace we would like you to participate in our survey for coolest NSPA mug shot of the day.
First up is John Gannon from our Danbury NSPA chapter who was arrested and charged on one count of unlawful possession of a firearm after he allegedly brandished his gun at another driver in what the police love to call a “road rage” incident. Look, Patriot Gannon was probably just trying to proudly show his gun to the passing motorist, kind of like how baseball fans put the caps of their favorite teams facing out from the back windows of their cars.
Second up is Barry Lindsey from our Carmi NSPA chapter. He was arrested recently after allegedly shooting his 46 year-old son in the chest and was charged with two counts of attempted first-degree murder, aggravated battery with a firearm, aggravated domestic battery, aggravated discharge of a firearm and possession of a firearm without a valid firearm owner’s identification. In other words the liberal nanny state thinks it can tell parents how to raise and discipline their children properly. My daddy shot me plenty of times, and I turned out just fine.
Vote now with a click of a mouse! However, if there happen to be any black or Mexican looking people visiting our site (can’t imagine why, just sayin’) who want to vote, they will need to scan and e-mail their birth certificates, passport photos and valid driver’s licenses or State IDs with current address to email@example.com before they can participate in this survey.
Sure, the pitbull puppy was only 8-months old, but it could have grown up to be a vicious killer so he was right to shoot it. Better safe than sorry….except for gun show background checks because that’s just time wasting bureaucracy.
Richard Jones from our Kanawha County NSPA chapter was sentenced Friday to one to three years for attempting to maliciously kill an animal and one to five years for failing to appear for court hearings. All this nonsense started when Patriot Jones graciously offered to help care for a female friend’s 8-month old pitbull puppy.
Well, one night back in November Patriot Jones was a little unhappy when his female friend went out with another man while he was stuck looking after her puppy. So Patriot Jones showed her how much she meant to him by calling her to tell her he would hurt her puppy every 10 minutes she didn’t return home and would then kill the puppy if she still did not return home before the end of the night. Since she didn’t heed his warning, he had no choice but the shoot the puppy multiple times and dispose its body into a ditch.
The thing is, so often nowadays you hear women whining that men don’t call or text them often enough and regularly leave them feeling unwanted. Here, you have a proud, small penised White man who is obviously way into this woman, but she ignored him. If she had returned home immediately after he had first warned her, the damn puppy would still be alive. So ultimately she is really the one responsible for the shooting death of her defenseless puppy, but she is not facing any charges. This is just like our friends in the Men’s Rights Movement have been warning us, the court system treats women better than it does White men…just the way Dictator Obama wants it to be.
Man sentenced for involvement in puppy’s death
Since it happened in Colorado maybe he was tricked into smoking some of that marijuana the liberal hippies made legal over there, and while he was tripping on some potent weed he thought his wife had transformed into Bowser in Mario World so he had no choice but to shoot her.
Joshua Cabrera, pictured above, from our Colorado Springs NSPA chapter apparently shot and murdered his wife and then killed himself with the same gun earlier this week. The liberal gun haters have already tried to seize the narrative on this case to fit their gun hating agenda. See, they say this case is yet again another example of the horrifying destruction that can be caused by a gun handled by an insecure, emotionally unstable man who can only resolve his grievances with the world by using a gun.
We here at the NSPA have interpreted the situation differently. As we stated above the picture for this entry, we think this is really a case about the destruction that can be caused by legalized marijuana. While we haven’t seen anything to suggest Patriot Cabrera had any drugs in his system, we must again remind you that this case occurred in Colorado so we think it is likely he was Rocky Mountain High at the time he killed her. So if he had been smoking some strong shit, we figure it’s likely he thought she was Bowser, Mario’s chief nemesis from Mario World, so he had to stand his ground and had no choice but to shoot and kill her. Then the marijuana must have had him so messed in the head that he committed suicide. It was that damn legal marijuana that likely caused this tragedy, but the liberal lamestream media won’t report it that way. That is why you fellow Patriots must check this website every day to get the straight dope, I mean, the straight truth about what is happening in this nightmare Obama World.
Husband shot wife and set fire to their Colorado Springs home before turning gun on himself in apparent murder-suicide
So when did Mad Max turn into such a pussy?
We here at the NSPA are guessing that happened when Mel Gibson stopped playing the part.
We here at the NSPA Akron based headquarters had been looking forward to Mad Max: Fury Road for the past two years, and we were devastated with disappointment by the dreck on screen. We might as well have been watching a Lilith Fair Concert documentary on the screen with all of the female characters in the film and all of the conflict and death caused by angry, marauding White men. The subtext of this film is that all men are bad while all women are saints.
Well, let’s see what could have caused such a change in Mad Max. Oh, that’s right, the producers got rid of Mel Gibson, a proud, small penised White man who knows that female police officers should only be referred to as ‘Sugar Tits’ and who knows to be very suspicious of Jews, since it was their people who killed Jesus Christ.
We have seen that our brothers in arms from the Men’s Rights Movement have also been raising protests against this feminist propaganda so we are proud to join them to denounce the shameful stereotyping exemplified in Fury Road. It is so sad that White men have so few options in Hollywood nowadays and must take roles in films like this because there is no other work out there for White men.
Mad Max: Fury Road enrages Men’s Rights Activists who claim they are being duped by action sequences into watching ‘feminist propaganda’
He was simply proudly showing his 15-year old cousin his new shotgun. How was he supposed to know it was loaded?
Thomas Catalde Jr. from our Warren NSPA chapter was charged today with reckless homicide for shooting and killing his 15-year old cousin this past Saturday. See, Patriot Catalde was having a few beers Saturday and talking to his young cousin about the joys of hunting. Then, to emphasize just how fun hunting can be, Patriot Catalde brought out his brand new shotgun to show it off to his cousin. Well, life is full of surprises, and Patriot Catalde certainly encountered a surprise when he discovered there was a shell in the shotgun. Let’s just say he found this out when he pointed the shotgun at his cousin’s face and pulled the trigger. Oops.
Hey, we all make mistakes so we here at the NSPA don’t see the need to compound this accident by sending a Good Guy with a Gun to jail. #letitgo
Ohio man charged with reckless homicide in fatal shotgun shooting of 15-year-old cousin
“The Judge” has delivered the verdict!
Mark Carpenter from our Las Vegas NSPA chapter was arrested Monday in connection with the murder of the husband and wife couple who had been his landlords until they were both shot to death in their home this past Thursday. The couple’s daughter who found their bodies immediately pegged Patriot Carpenter as a suspect simply because he was a gun collector who kept a lot of guns in the small house he rented from them.
Well, the Las Vegas police tracked down Patriot Carpenter after he had been away his home and had not shown up to his job as a casino black jack dealer since the day of the murders. He admitted to them that he shot and killed the couple after he had an argument with them. Here’s what has us totally stoked about this story, though. Patriot Carpenter told the police the nickname of the gun he used in the murder. Get this. He named it ‘The Judge.’ How cool is that? You can just picture him talking real softly and with a gravelly voice (just like Clint) as he points his gun at some bad guys (most likely black) and says, “Tell it to the judge, punks.” Then he pulls the trigger, BAM, BAM, BAM, and then they’re all dead.
I was so inspired by this story that I’ve nicknamed my favorite gun, the Desert Eagle 50AE, ‘The Long, Hard Shaft of Justice.’ Patriot Carpenter is just so cool in every way. He even looks like a combination of Bono and Howie Mandel. Keep rocking, Patriot Carpenter!
PD: Las Vegas casino dealer admits to killing landlords
Look, we had no idea he was Jewish when we admitted him to the NSPA. However, we will overlook it this one time since he is a fellow gun lover, even if Jesus doesn’t hear his prayers. Also, we never knew Jews couldn’t drink Clamato juice, a little known fact that allowed him with total justification (in our opinion) to shoot his bartender.
Oy vey (I think that’s what those people say), Monte Hanson from our Hamilton NSPA chapter was in court yesterday to face a felony count of attempted deliberate homicide and a misdemeanor count of animal cruelty. See, it all started Friday night when Patriot Hanson got into an argument with his bartender over what exactly goes into a “red beer”, which the bartender had just served him. Patriot Hanson rightly said that only tomato juice should be used, but the goyish bartender insisted that Clamato juice could be used. Patriot Hanson got a little hot under the collar while trying to point out that Jews can’t drink Clamato juice and left the bar after he realized the gentile behind the bar didn’t get it.
Well, as Friday night turned into early Saturday morning, Patriot Hanson had a little more time to think about this slight to his religion. So Patriot Hanson decided to resolve the disagreement in the only reasonable manner possible by getting his gun and tracking down the bartender after his shift ended. Patriot Hanson found the bartender taking his dog for a walk at 2:30 AM and resumed the argument. The bartender and his dog then must have done something to provoke Patriot Hanson, who must have had no choice but to shoot both of them. The gun shots injured the bartender and killed his dog. Like 2 on 1 would have been a fair fight. Hello, that’s why we have guns. They help even out the odds.
Now, I know this goes against everything we believe in, but let us pray to Jesus Christ on behalf of this Jewish man so he can get justice. By the way, we would like to point out to all of the gun haters that Patriot Hanson’s people didn’t kill Christ with a gun. No, they used nails and wood to kill him. I rest my case!
Prosecutor: Argument over ‘red beer’ preceded Hamilton shooting
Look, it was totally an accident, just like he said.
Jimmy Thrasher from our Kalamazoo NSPA chapter and possessor of the coolest name of all our members has been stuck in the Kalamazoo County jail since last week because his ex-wife happened to stand in the way of his shotgun just before it accidentally discharged a bullet that killed her. It all started when Patriot Thrasher was simply enjoying a few alcoholic beverages when along came his nagging ex-wife to provide her daily mixed drink of grief and hate. Well, Patriot Thrasher claimed that his hellcat ex-wife then assaulted him and grabbed for his shotgun. This led to a tussle between the two of them which then led to the accidental circumstances created by Patriot Thrasher’s wife which ultimately ended her life.
Look, Patriot Thrasher has repeatedly explained he had never intended to shoot her, let alone kill her, so why is he being portrayed as a cold blooded killer? On top of that the crooked courts in Kalamazoo have hit him with a bogus felony murder charge and a felony firearm charge. Patriot Thrasher must now wait until May 26 for a preliminary hearing before he will know his fate. #smallpenisedwhiteguyslivesmatter
Murder suspect claimed shotgun death of ex-wife was an accident, detective says
Don’t even think of stepping on his front lawn, punk!
Alfred Stauble from our Mason NSPA chapter was arrested Saturday night for nothing more than exercising his 2nd Amendment rights, as it always happens in Dictator Obama’s America. Earlier in the day on Saturday, Patriot Stauble had some smart aleck whippersnapper get into an argument with him. So Patriot Stauble used all of the wisdom that comes with living to an advanced age and pulled out his gun and threatened to kill the snot nosed sissy.
Well, one thing led to another and Patriot Stauble ended up barricaded in his house in an armed stand off with the Brookline police department. Then we heard the police tricked him into coming out of his house after a lengthy negotiation by telling him they would take him for a tour of the Fox News studios. After they tricked him by playing on his fantasy of meeting his hero Bill O’Reilly, they hit him with a charge of threatening with use of a deadly weapon.
It must really burn Patriot Stauble up to live long enough to see how much America has changed for the worse. He can remember a time when somebody like Dictator Obama would have known his place, and now he sees gun loving, small penised White men being harassed by the police. This is just another example of why we must get Jeb Bush elected President so we can take our country back and put things back like our creator intended.
Mason man allegedly threatens man with a gun, refuses to leave home
Yes, he shot and killed his dog. No, he is not a criminal. Yes, he is a proud, small penised White man who knows how to stand his ground.
Keith Hamilton from our Guyton NSPA chapter was arrested and placed in jail this week on charges of aggravated cruelty to animals, obstructing or hindering law enforcement officers, discharging a firearm while under the influence of alcohol, discharging a firearm near a public highway or street and improper disposal of a dead animal.
Here’s the real deal on what happened. Like any good NSPA member, Patriot Hamilton was enjoying an evening of drinking and taking target practice with his gun in his back yard. What could be more American? He is such an expert marksman that he shot a bag of trash, a glass jar, a child’s booster seat and a container of washing detergent.
Well, at some point during the target practice, Patriot Hamilton’s damn dog probably started approaching him and bared its teeth. As Patriot Hamilton explained to the Sheriff’s department, he felt his life was in danger. So, since Georgia thankfully has stand your ground legislation on the books, Patriot Hamilton was well within his rights to shoot his dog to death to save his own life. Now, there are haters out there who claim Patriot Hamilton had simply been drunk while playing with his gun and ended up irresponsibly shooting and killing his pet dog. The haters also point to the fact that Patriot Hamilton wrapped his dead pet dog in a plastic trash bag and dumped the bag in a trash can. Whatever.
The fact is simple. If your state has stand your ground legislation, it will be almost impossible for some gun hating police officer or sheriff’s department flunkie to hold you accountable any time you have to shoot and kill somebody (or in this case, a dog) who makes you feel uncomfortable.
Besides, I’m glad Patriot Hamilton killed his dog because that means there will be one less freeloading dog who always desperately looks for a handout and who will be the first in line for the free Obamacare veterinarian care that my uncle Gary warned me is coming. As I first mentioned in yesterday’s post. Obama’s next step with Obamacare will be to use your tax dollars to provide free health care for every damn dog and cat in America.
Guyton man jailed in drunken shooting death of dog
Okay, so he shot the his roommate’s dog in the face and buried her alive in a clumsy attempt to cover up the incident, but we would like to point out that the dog had “made a mess” in the house so it’s not like this was some unjustified shooting. Other than being forced to watch a women’s college basketball game, what is worse than stepping into a moist pile of dog poop in the middle of the night while you’re walking to the bathroom?
Anthony Hultine from our Yuma NSPA chapter was in Yuma Justice Court this past Wednesday to face charges of one count of disorderly conduct, one count of cruelty to animals and one count of criminal damage. He had to put up with all of this nonsense because Patriot Hultine had shot his roommate’s dog in the face and then buried her, not aware that the dog was still alive, because he was tired of the dog always “making a mess” around the house. We would like to point out that the real culprit here is Patriot Hultine’s roommate because he never properly potty trained the mutt.
The dog was able to claw her way out of the grave Patriot Hultine placed her in and crawled to safety until she was rescued by a passerby so it’s not like Patriot Hultine is a murderer or anything.
Sure enough, the publicity hogs at the Humane Society of Yuma are making a spectacle of this for their own selfish agenda. The Society’s executive director showed up to court to speak on the dog’s behalf. Now we have no issue with an attorney being appointed to speak on behalf of a fetus like they do in Wisconsin because Jesus would support this, but having a spokesman for a dog makes a mockery of our court system.
By the way, my uncle told me that the next stage of Obamacare will be to provide free veterinarian care to every pet in America. Yes, your tax dollars will be used to pamper freeloading dogs and cats. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.
Felony charges filed in dog shooting case
Patriot Price’s only choice was to shoot his gun because…
…there was a wild beast on the loose.
John Price from our Westover NSPA chapter was unfairly hauled into court Monday to face a charge of animal cruelty for shooting and killing his own pet miniature horse. It all started last Saturday when Patriot Price’s miniature horse got loose and went into his neighbor’s backyard to eat strawberries in the garden. The neighbor then gently shooed the horse back into its Patriot Price’s yard. As soon as the horse stepped back into its owner’s yard, Patriot Price stopped the miniature horse cold with his gun and then left its corpse untouched in his backyard for a full day.
If a lion had escaped from a nearby zoo and went on a rampage, would anybody question a Good Guy with a Gun who shot and killed it. No, obviously, so what’s the big deal here? Furthermore, what about that lady who had a pet monkey that ripped her friend’s face from her skull a few years ago? Everybody accused her of being irresponsible for not protecting her friend. So Patriot Price was being a responsible protector of his neighborhood, and the only thanks he got was a bunch of PETA freaks calling for his head. Mission accomplished, Dictator Obama.
Police: Pet miniature horse shot by owner on camera
Yes, he used his shotgun to kill his neighbor’s puppy, but he was simply standing his ground.
Kevin McClenithan from our Bunnell, FL NSPA chapter was minding his own business this past Friday when his neighbor’s 10-month old puppy named Bullet ran over to the home where Patriot McClenithan was staying with a friend. The home owner corralled the puppy within the confines of the locked chain link fence surrounding his back yard. Though the caged puppy had no way to reach him, Patriot McClenithan had every reason to feel threatened because we are sure it was yapping at him furiously like some sort of a demon dog. Remember that part in the Bible when Jesus restored a demon possessed man by casting the demon into a herd of pigs. Who can’t say that maybe a demon couldn’t be cast out of a possessed man and cast into a 10-month old puppy? It could happen.
Since Patriot McClenithan lives in Florida, he had the law on his side (thank you, Jeb Bush) to stand his ground. So brave Patriot McClinithan saved his own life by getting his shotgun and shooting the puppy. When the neighbor’s young son arrived looking for his puppy, Patriot McClinithan said, “Yeah, I shot your dog.” Then just like a stoic John Wayne, he walked back into the house.
We’d like to say that’s how the story ended, but God damn Dictator Obama’s thugs in the Flagler County Sheriff’s Department showed up and slapped him with charges of cruelty to animals, a first-degree misdemeanor, and possession of a firearm by a convicted felon, a second-degree felony. However, we are sure everything will work out alright for Patriot McClenithan once he gets his day in court and is able to use the Stand Your Ground defense. The NSPA will see this case through until justice is served!
Florida man used shotgun to kill neighbor’s puppy, deputies say
“My initial reaction was, ‘Oh my goodness. Could that possibly be a gun?‘” said witness Jenine King. “Then my next thought was, ‘Gosh, who’s in the church with a gun?’”
Sorry, Ms. King, bless her heart, but the question should be, “Gosh, who isn’t in the church with a gun?” In case Satan shows up to try to tempt me into looking at the taut, firm physique of a muscular young man who is singing in the church choir, I want to be armed and ready to shoot Satan right through his craven, deceitful heart.
Cory Golightly from our McCracken County NSPA chapter and employed as a deputy with the McCracken County Sheriff’s Department was ridiculed by the liberal lamestream media for simply accidentally shooting his mother during a wedding ceremony this past weekend. See, Patriot Golightly was off duty so he brought one of his personal guns to the ceremony and concealed it in a jacket pocket. He needed that gun in case ISIS showed up to kill Christians or if that Godless Dictator Obama sent his gun hating, Atheistic henchmen into the church to put all of the faithful in one of the FEMA concentration camps that Glenn Beck is always talking about.
Well, the ceremony started running long ( it was at the Bardwell Baptist Church after all) so Patriot Goligthly started getting fidgety, which caused the gun to fall out of the jacket pocket. Let’s be clear on this point – Patriot Golightly never pulled the trigger. No, the gun fired completely on its own when it hit the ground. The bullets that left the gun ended up entering Patriot Golightly’s mother, but it’s not like she died or anything. The Spirit of the Lord saw to it that she was perfectly fine, and right now she is resting in stable condition in the hospital. No harm, no foul, as we like to say.
We and our brothers at the NRA always like to remind everybody that there is no better deterrent to evil deeds than a Good Guy with a Gun, and there is no better Good Guy than Jesus Christ. We are sure he would have been packing heat to slay Satan if guns had existed in his day so we see guns in churches as just a natural extension of Jesus’ call to battle the forces of evil. Amen.
Kentucky deputy accidentally shoots his own mom after bringing gun to wedding
Hey, soccer is for annoying, Europe loving pussies, anyways!
Samuel Foy from our Gainesville NSPA chapter was arrested early Sunday morning for simply trying to get a good night’s sleep. See, he was staying at the Palm Coast Red Roof Inn while down the hall there were a bunch of unruly, cowardly teen agers who aren’t manly enough to play football so the little sissies joined their high school’s soccer team and came to Palm Coast to play in the Florida Youth Soccer Association’s State Cup.
Well, these twinkle toe twerps were raising a ruckus all night long so Patriot Foy simply went into the hallway to get their attention by brandishing his holstered pistol and screaming, “Shut the fuck up.” That did the trick and quieted things down, but some busy body hotel employee had to call the Alachua County Sheriff’s department to further disturb Patriot Foy’s sleep. Sure enough, a few deputies who must not have had anything better to do showed up to wake him up and confiscate his gun. Then they arrested him on three third-degree felony counts of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon and one second-degree felony count of displaying a weapon in the act of committing a felony. Worse yet, none of those rude juvenile delinquents got a disturbing the peace charge.
This is all just another reminder that, with the exception of women’s college basketball, there is not a more worthless sport than soccer.
Not What Visiting Soccer Players Want to See: Man Threatens Teens With a Gun at Motel
When will the shameful persecution of gun loving, small penised White men end in America? When?
Barry Richey from our Sarpy County NSPA chapter was the victim of a hate crime recently when his stepson attacked him after Patriot Richey allegedly happened to discipline his wife’s two Yorkshire Terriers with a pellet gun. One of the dogs died and the other faces life threatening injuries. See, Patriot Richey warned his wife about those damn Yorkies always urinating and pooping on the carpets around the house, but heaven forbid if she would ever do anything about it. She treated those God awful mutts better than she treated Patriot Richey. Some women prefer to seek solace and comfort in the company of a mangy canine rather than a real man. Go figure. It’s the influence of those Feminazis good old Rush always talks about, if you ask us.
Well, we’re guessing Patriot Richey had previously tried teaching the yapping dogs by smacking their snouts with a rolled up newspaper with no success so he decided to try one of his pellet guns to see if that would have any effect. It’s not like he shot them with a semi-automatic weapon or anything. As it turns out the gun was a little more effective than he thought it would be, but at least the dogs aren’t soiling the carpets anymore.
So his stepson finds out about what happened and viciously attacks him. If that wasn’t horrible enough, then the Sarpy County Court hit him with two felony charges of intentional torture of an animal. The only torture we see in this case is the willful torture of the U.S. Constitution. Are you happy now, Obama?
Sarpy County Man Accused of Killing Wife’s Dog
The Monday morning quarterbacking Bibb County Coroner Leon Jones asked, “Why in the world would you be cleaning a gun with a child in the house?” Well, genius, maybe because it’s never too early to instill the importance of good gun maintenance and safety in a child.
Ronnie Howard from our Macon NSPA chapter was arraigned on Friday on a second degree murder charge stemming from his accidental fatal shooting of his girlfriend’s 17-month old son. See, it all started Thursday afternoon when Patriot Howard was responsibly cleaning his 9 mm handgun in the trailer he shared with his girlfriend and her infant son. Though Patriot Howard wasn’t the child’s father, he was acting like a real father who cares about his son’s moral and manly development by showing him that guns are nothing to be scared of when handled properly and that it is important to maintain proper maintenance of your gun to ensure that it functions safely.
Well, it wasn’t Patriot Howard’s fault that the gun jammed while he was cleaning it and that the gun fired after he stripped the magazine and put it back, which caused a bullet to enter the infant’s face.
As Patriot Howard told the Magistrate in court when he found out he was facing a murder charge, “Really? Oh, God. But it was an accident.” Leave it to the gun hating Bibb County Court to ignore this rational plea and to plow ahead with this unjust case. Dictator Obama must be happy, though, because once again there is one less Good Guy with a Gun available to keep us safe from criminals.
Man charged in killing of Macon toddler should not have had gun
It was a miscarriage of justice. How can he be convicted of murder when he testified that he never intended on shooting her and swore on a Christian Bible that he never pulled the trigger?
In a chilling reminder of the structural flaws of our rigged judicial system that distributes unequal justice to gun loving, small penised White men, Bobby Smith from our Dayton, TX NSPA chapter was convicted of murder today in a case that was clearly an accidental shooting caused by the “victim” who, as Patriot Smith surely truly testified, grabbed for the gun in Patriot Smith’s waistband.
See, it all started this past July 4th when Patriot Smith, his brother and girlfriend were celebrating our Christian nation’s independence with alcohol and fireworks when they started reflecting on the beat down two strangers gave Patriot Smith a year earlier. As they got to think about it, they were pretty sure a woman Patriot Smith knew had put them up to it.
Well, Patriot Smith then went to the bar where the woman worked to see her and to “send a message” to his attackers through her. When she tried to sneak away from the bar when she saw Patriot Smith looking for her, he chased her into the parking lot.
Now Patriot Smith did have a gun, but he completely forgot he had it on him because it was in his waistband at the small of his back. As he explained to the police, “I forgot about it. I’ve carried it there since I was a kid.” That sounds perfectly reasonable and understandable to us.
Then the woman started a scuffle with him and grabbed for the gun, a Highpoint semi-automatic 9mm (a real beauty). One thing led to another and the gun somehow accidentally fired two bullets into the woman. Even though Patriot Smith swore he didn’t pull the trigger, the prosecutor, judge and jury shamefully colluded to convict poor Patriot Smith to jail with a life sentence.
Have no fear, though, because one day small penised White men will have a fair justice system because the NSPA is on the case!
Dayton Man Found Guilty of Murder
This is just another case of hysterical, liberal media overreaction. After all, how serious could her gun shot to the head have been since she was able to driver herself to the hospital? Puh-lease!
Ronald Anthony Brown from our St. Tammany Parish NSPA chapter is sitting in the Parish Jail facing one count of attempted murder tonight. Patriot Brown is accused of waiting inside his ex-girlfriend’s home and ambushing her with a gun shot to the head when she returned home.
However, we smell some sort of a fishy set up here by the gun hating, local authorities and a vengeful ex-girlfriend who is determined to ruin the life of the man she surely hoped to spend the rest of her life with because the alleged “victim” was able to drive herself to the hospital after getting shot in the head. Yeaaaah, that sounds like the actions of a victim of a real serious attempted murder to us. Once again the lamestream media is manufacturing their version of the “facts” to push their selfish agenda of getting another gun loving, small penised White man removed from the streets so he won’t be free to fight back against the government thugs when they come to take our guns.
Woman Drives Self to Hospital After Ex-Boyfriend Shoots Her in the Head
Thumbs up! I’m A-ok, and I should be out of the hospital by tomorrow. Thank you for your concern and well wishes.
Excuse me for breaking format, but I just want to send out a big NSPA thank you to all my fellow Patriots who have been praying to Jesus Christ for my speedy recovery from a 1 in 100,000,000 accident that happened to me in the men’s room at the Bridgewater Falls, OH Chick-Fil-A yesterday. Some of you may not be aware, but I just happen to be the man mentioned in the widely reported story of a self-inflicted accidental gun shot wound yesterday in the Chick-Fil-A bathroom yesterday.
Again, I am fine, but I just want to set the record straight. It all started yesterday morning when I drove from the NSPA headquarters in Akron to Cincinnati to attend the WKRP in Cincinnati Fan Fest at the Millennium Hotel. (I was dressed up as Dr. Johnny Fever.)
Well, I was so excited about the trip that I forgot to eat anything before I left. Then when I was just a few miles out of Cincinnati I saw a sign for Chick-Fil-A just off the highway so I figured I’d stop to get something to eat because I knew once I got to the Fan Fest I wouldn’t have time to eat because there would be so much to do. I also wanted to show that I proudly stand with Chick-Fil-A against that gay marriage nonsense.
Before I could get anything to eat, though, I had to go into the bathroom to take a bowel movement. Now I typically don’t like to take bowel movements in public bathrooms, but I knew I didn’t have a choice in this case. To make matters worse, men kept coming into the bathroom to use the urinals. The thing is, I can’t allow myself to make any noises whenever anybody else is in the bathroom, even though they are strangers and can’t see me. It’s just a hang up I have. So I had to spend 20 minutes sitting silently and completely still in the stall, waiting for all of these men to leave. I felt like Anne Frank must have felt when she and her family would sit real still in hiding while waiting for the Nazis to finish their inspections and leave the house.
I finally had some alone time so I was able to finish my business. However, I had been in the stall so long that my legs and feet fell asleep. So when I stood up to pull up my pants, my legs buckled and my concealed Glock pistol fell out of my pocket and shot me in the leg. Thankfully there was no damage to the Glock, and I should be back on the streets tomorrow with my concealed Glock to help keep people safe from any bad guys who might try to use their guns in an irresponsible manner. Again, thank you for all of your prayers to Jesus Christ on my behalf.
Ohio man accidentally shot himself in Chick-fil-A while pulling up his pants: cops
Just another reminder of why we need to thank Jeb and get him in the White House in 2016.
William Woodward from our Tittusville NSPA chapter was in court yesterday fighting for his freedom as he faces two murder charges and an attempted murder charge for shooting and killing two of his neighbors and shooting and injuring another neighbor. We are confident, though, that Patriot Woodward will be set free because the case is being heard in Florida after all, and his defense team is using the glorious “Stand Your Ground” ploy. The prosecutor is trying to make a flimsy case that Patriot Woodward shot three unarmed men and had to leave his house, walk across a public street and cross over into somebody else’s property to shoot his three victims as proof that Patriot Woodward was never in any danger. (Yeah, right.)
The prosecutor also laughably questions why Patriot Woodward never called the police if he felt he was in danger. Well, if you have “Stand Your Ground” legal in your state, who needs to waste time waiting for the police? Also, the prosecutor made much of the fact that Patriot Woodward is the only witness to the threatening comments he claimed his neighbors made which prompted him to shoot them. Hey, I guess when you’re desperate and have no case, you’ll throw everything against the wall and see what sticks. Oh, and the lame prosecutor is also trying to make much of the fact that Patriot Woodward referred to the three victims as his prey when the police arrived on the scene. Like that gives any indication of his state of mind.
Just look at that proud, knowing smirk in his mug shot. Patriot Woodward epitomizes our highest ideal of the proud, gun loving, small penised White man who knows he will always come out on top if he has a gun in his hand.
Since we know he will walk free because of the “Stand Your Ground” defense, we want to thank Jeb Bush once again for being the first Governor to sign “Stand Your Ground” legislation into law. If it had not been for Jeb’s visionary work on our behalf, Patriot Woodward might actually be facing jail time. We don’t want to brag (okay, maybe we want to brag just a little), but we were the first to jump on the Jeb 2016 bandwagon two years ago when we started this website because we felt his work on this one issue alone entitled him to be President of these currently beleaguered United States of America. Jeb is just the man who will help us take our country back. It is time for America to Stand Its Ground!
Man claims neighbors’ shooting deaths were case of ‘Stand your Ground’
Why is Patriot Allen facing charges? He is proof that the system in South Carolina works, as long as the crybaby police and sheriff departments stay out of the way.
Joseph Allen from our Union County NSPA chapter was inexplicably arrested today and charged with presenting and pointing a firearm at a person and unlawful carrying of a handgun. It all started early this afternoon when Patriot Allen was minding his own business and driving his utility cart at 15 miles an hour down Highway 9 when some impatient hot head sped past him and a jerk yelled out the window from the passenger’s seat for him to take his cart off the road. Well, Patriot Allen wasn’t going to let this rude roadster get away with this roughshod rhetoric so he gave chase and tracked him down to the nearby convenience station where the heartless heckler had stopped to get a drink with his wife.
When Patriot Allen spotted him in the parking lot, he naturally did the sensible thing and pulled his handgun and pointed it at this immature jerk, who it turned out was disabled and required to use a wheelchair after having a stroke. Well, it turns out this other guy was packing heat so he pulled out his handgun and pointed it at Patriot Allen. It was just like a standoff from the good ole’ days of the Old West when men were real men and settled all of their differences with guns.
Sure enough, the other guy’s wife panicked, (just like you would expect a woman to do in a situation like this) and she jumped back in the car behind the wheel and sped away before Patriot Allen could settle the dispute for once and for all.
Well, the Sheriff’s department showed up and stopped Patriot Allen before he could continue the chase and slapped him with the ridiculous charges. If you look a little deeper, though, you’ll understand the real “crime” Patriot Allen was really guilty of was threatening the Sheriff department’s job security. See, just recently the Republican controlled South Carolina House of Representative bravely passed a bill that would allow anybody in South Carolina to carry a concealed weapon without a permit. Ultimately, if you have a state full of Good Guys with guns walking the streets, we eventually won’t need any tax dollars gorging police and sheriff departments with their pensions and benefits that we hard working citizens have to pay for.
Just watch the interview with the obviously liberal Union County Sheriff in the linked article and listen to his snide remarks about the bold legislation passed by the State House and his sarcastic comments about everybody strapping on guns and settling things just like they were in the Old West. What you are really watching is a scared, self interested scoundrel who foresees his own inevitable obsolescence. That’s why he had his men arrest Patriot Allen who had simply been in the process of resolving the situation just like a real rugged individualistic American man should be able to do without the interference of government agents. They had to shut Patriot Allen down before the truth got out.
Report: Road rage incident involving utility cart ends with guns drawn
“Music has charms to soothe a savage beast.” William Congreve
“Baloney! Music is useless when facing off against a savage beast. A gun is the only thing to soothe a savage beast. ‘Nuff said!” Lee Greenwood Hannity
Chet Wallace from our Hammond NSPA chapter had to appear in court earlier this past week to face a trumped up charge of felony mistreatment of animals. Truth be told, Patriot Wallace did nothing more than defend his own life by shooting and seriously injuring his neighbor’s unleashed, ferocious Pekinese-poodle mix which invaded Patriot Wallace’s garage and growled at him while he was working on his motorcycle. Also, it wasn’t like this was the first time Patriot Wallace had a run in with this wild dog. It was just a little while ago that this beast ran wild on Patriot Wallace’s property and damaged a rain gutter while chasing a gopher.
Sure enough, a coalition of the deranged PETA freaks and the gun hating Obama minions have collaborated to persecute Patriot Wallace to satisfy each of their selfish agendas. It is easy for the low information, trash news consumers to blithely pass over this story and view Patriot Wallace as an embittered middle aged man who is disappointed with how his life turned out and vents his self pitying rage on defenseless, easy victims through the false sense of empowerment that a gun can endow upon the emotionally insecure. These are exactly the same people who have no idea what it feels like to face down the terrifying threat presented by a Pekinese-poodle mix. Though we don’t have a picture of the dog that tried to attack Patriot Wallace, please look at this picture of a similar Pekinese-poodle mix and honestly ask yourself if you would have done anything different than what Patriot Wallace did.
See, you would have recognized the threat and pulled the trigger, too. Please pray to Jesus Christ that Patriot Wallace will find justice.
Hammond man accused of shooting neighbor’s dog
He’s a grandfather who cares!
Troy Gibbs from our Chandler NSPA chapter was basically arrested earlier this week for sticking up for his granddaughter. It all started Tuesday when Patriot Gibbs went to his granddaughter’s softball game to cheer her on. What is more American than a proud, small penised White man going to a softball game to root for his granddaughter? Not much if you ask me. Well, Patriot Gibbs had to keep sitting inning after inning, waiting to see her get in the game. Finally, when the game ended without his granddaughter getting a chance to play, Patriot Gibbs simply walked up to the coach to have a little conversation with him about the importance of fair play.
When the hysterical coach and parents of the other players started yelling at Patriot Gibbs, he had no choice but to stand his ground so he decided to de-escalate the situation by getting his gun out of his car and pointing it at one of the busy body parents who tried to stop Patriot Gibbs from trying to calm down the team’s coach.
At that point Patriot Gibbs realized he was facing an irrational, emotionally unstable mob so he had to get in his car and drive away as quickly as possible. Sure enough, there are whining wimps who claim Patriot Gibbs almost “ran over” them in his haste to extricate himself from such a volatile situation. These are clearly snobbish liberal types who have never watched one lap of a NASCAR race and who couldn’t tell you the date of Richard Petty’s birthday if their lives depended on it.
Now Patriot Gibbs is facing charges of pointing a firearm and disturbing the peace. However, we see the real agenda at play here. Dictator Obama and his liberal wrecking crew have a deep seated hatred of the family unit so they will take advantage of any opportunity to persecute a family loving man. In their eyes it doesn’t hurt that Patriot Gibbs is also a gun loving NSPA member. This kind of makes this case a two for one victory for Dictator Obama and his cronies. #justanotherdayinobam’samerica
Police: Man pulls gun at softball game because granddaughter didn’t play
He had no choice but to be angry after the man hating family court irresponsibly banned him from having any involvement in his son’s life. After all, what chance did his son then have to grow up to be a stable, emotionally healthy man if he couldn’t be around to mentor him?!!!
Charles Severance from our Alexandria NSPA chapter was in court yesterday for a pre-trial hearing for the three first-degree murder charges he faces in connection with the three seemingly random gun related murders that occurred between 2003 and 2014. The lamestream liberal media has already labeled him a serial killer before he has even had a chance to face a jury of his peers.
See, the prosecutor’s case is based entirely on circumstantial evidence. In all three murders the killer approached randomly selected homes, knocked on the doors and then shot and killed the victims when they opened their front doors. Sure Patriot Severance had written a manifesto for committing murder in which he laid out the following strikingly simple plan: “Knock. Talk. Enter. Kill. Exit. Murder.” Before anybody jumps to conclusions, it should be noted that he based this writing on a Bible passage called ‘Parable of the Midnight Knocker.’ His manifesto was clearly just a rhetorical literary exercise to prompt a discussion at a Bible study. Like a gun loving White man who knows his Bible inside and out would be capable of murder. Yeah, right! LOL!
Sure enough, we’re sure it was Dictator Obama who had Patriot Severance arrested in Washington, D.C. in March 2014 after Severance visited the Russian Embassy in an unsuccessful bid to secure asylum. We’re sure he would have been given asylum if Vladimir Putin (a real man and leader who we only wish could be President of the U.S.A instead of that Communist, Marxist Dictator Obama we’re stuck with) had been informed of Patriot Severance’s plight.
Yes, we acknowledge that Patriot Severance has had some anger issues over the past 15 years, but that doesn’t make him a murderer. See, all of his anger stems from the man hating family court that kicked him out of his son’s life and denied his son a role model to help him develop into a REAL MAN! While we here at the NSPA dedicate every waking moment to advocating for the gun rights of small penised White guys, we also appreciate the fine work that our brothers in the men’s rights movement perform every day to battle the descrimination white guys face in our nation’s horribly biased courts. We encourage you to visit our second favorite website (our website is our favorite, natch), http://www.avoiceformen.com/ , to learn more about all of the fine advocacy work being done by a fine bunch of well adjusted white guys who are sick and tired of being persecuted. #fightthepower
Rambling biblical-style writings of an accused serial killer revealed in court
Just like Wayne LaPierre, who only happens to be our hero and source of daily inspiration, said, we need to have Good Guys with guns at every school in America to keep our children safe so we should have known Dictator Obama would pull out all of the stops to have one of our Good Guys arrested for drawing his gun in an elementary school parking lot.
Wyatt Mayes from our Parker NSPA chapter was arrested yesterday and charged with menacing and unlawful possession of a weapon on school grounds because he simply drew his handgun on another driver after they got in an argument about a parking space at his son’s school. There are many things that burn us up about this story, but the thing that makes us the angriest is the fact that there is a law on the books in Colorado against possession of a weapon on school grounds. If some madman had shown up at the school with a machete or a hammer to kill some of the school children, everybody would have been happy that a Good Guy with a gun like Patriot Mayes was there to save the day with his handgun.
However the Obama gun hating Wrecking Crew would never want a hero like Patriot Mayes to get the recognition he deserves so they slapped these ridiculously ginned up charges on Patriot Mayes to shut him down. Though Patriot Mayes may be on his way to jail, we would like to warn the Obama Wrecking Crew that the NSPA is like Hydra from the Marvel Avengers movies because just like Hydra says, “If a head is cut off, two more will take its place.” So if you put Patriot Mayes in jail there will be two more of us gun loving, small penised White guys to take his place.
Gun pulled at Parker elementary school; Wyatt Mayes accused of pointing gun during parking dispute
We are sad to announce we have kicked Richard Gertler out of the National Small Penis Association, and we disavow him for the terrible crime he committed.
Richard Gertler, formerly a member of our Gainesville NSPA chapter, was indicted last week and charged with murder, grand theft, burglary of a vehicle and grand theft auto. All of this started back in January when Gertler shot and killed a former coworker and stole his truck to get rid of the victim’s corpse. The news that devastated us, though, was the Putnam County Sheriff’s Office report that theft of the victim’s extensive gun collection was Gertler’s motive for the murder. We here at the NSPA think stealing another man’s guns is the lowest, dirtiest, most hateful crime a man could commit so we are officially cutting all ties with Richard Gertler
We politely ask members of the media to respect our privacy during this time of mourning and not contact our offices with questions about this case.
Man indicted in murder of Interlachen gun collector
None of this would have happened if his mom had simply given him a ride, like he asked her to. Moms can be such a drag.
Mark Crouse from our Manor Borough NSPA chapter was arrested and booked on aggravated assault and multiple gun charges this weekend for an incident provoked by his nagging mother. See, it all started when the 35-year old Patriot Crouse simply asked his mother for a short car ride to a relative’s home to pick up a stash of his guns. Sure enough, his lazy, grouchy 71-year old mother refused to give him the ride. Well, Patriot Crouse never asked to be born in the first place so giving him the ride would have been the least she could have done.
Patriot Crouse didn’t want to show his dissatisfaction by holding his breath because he gets dizzy when he does that so he fired two shots from his handgun into her bedroom wall and then pointed the gun at her. The two bullets he fired just happened to pass through the bedroom wall and almost hit Patriot Crouse’s girlfriend and their infant son. It’s not like he actually hit them, though.
Well, mama finally got the message and brought him to the relative’s house to pick up the guns. Then she stabbed her son in the back by sneaking off to the police department to report what happened and to say that she was terrified of her son. One thing led to another and by the time it was done the police hauled Patriot Crouse off in handcuffs after an armed standoff. Thanks, Mom! Just don’t expect a card on Mother’s Day. #justanotherpersecutedgunlovingwhiteguy
Man Accused Of Pointing Gun At Mom, Firing Shots That Nearly Hit Pregnant Wife & Son
So he was spending a little quality time with his daughter and there was an accident, and, as we all know, accidents happen. When did having an accident become a second-degree felony?
Anthony Blake Salvato from our Killeen NSPA chapter was arrested and arraigned yesterday on a second-degree felony charge of manslaughter in an obvious ploy by the Dictator Obama administration to get another Good Guy with a Gun off the streets. See, Patriot Salvato had been doing nothing more than playing with an AR-15 semi-automatic rifle, which he thought was empty, around his 3-year old daughter.
Well, it turned out the AR-15 wasn’t unloaded after all, and one thing led to another and Patriot Salvato’s daughter ended up dying because of the bullets that she got in the way of. Here we have a proud White Patriot who actually spends time with his daughter, and the government punishes him for spending this time with her. We suppose Dictator Obama would have rather had Patriot Salvato leave his daughter home alone to go and apply for food stamps. Well, Obama, if you want to criminalize fatherhood, go right ahead and keep on trying to destroy America by delegitimizing the family unit. You won’t get far with your plans, though, because the NSPA is on to you and your ways!
Witness: Man ‘playing’ with gun shot toddler daughter
Okay, he shot the deputy, but he didn’t shoot the sheriff. Besides, the deputy wasn’t any good at directing traffic so he was ultimately the instigator of the incident.
John Paul Devillier from our St. Charles Parish NSPA chapter was arrested on Thursday after he shot a St. Charles Sheriff’s deputy three times in a school zone after that deputy, who was acting all high and mighty on his traffic detail at the intersection of Highway 90 and Louisiana St., would not stop traffic to let Patriot Devillier make a left hand turn.
Well, Patriot Devillier called out from his car window to let Mr. Big Shot deputy know what he thought of him and his deficient traffic directing abilities. Patriot Devillier knows an incompetent civil servant who lives the high life on the tax payer’s dime when he sees one so he pulled into a nearby gas station parking lot and called Deputy Dawg over to continue the conversation. When the deputy saw a gun on Patriot Devillier’s dashboard, he drew his service revolver. Just like a crafty hero in an action movie, like anything by Steven Seagal, he outsmarted the deputy by holding the gun from the dashboard out the window harmlessly with one hand and then shot the unsuspecting deputy with a gun in his other hand. Hello, the deputy was approaching Patriot Devillier with a drawn gun. What was Patriot Devillier supposed to do? He had no choice but to stand his ground and shoot.
The media reports made much after the shooting of the facts that Patriot Devillier was fired from the TSA in 2013 for bad behavior, previously arrested for assault and domestic battery in Mississippi, got a divorce in 2013 and was currently living at a hotel in Gulfport, Miss. We don’t see the big deal because these things could be said about almost every member of the NSPA.
Suspect in St. Charles Parish deputy shooting was upset over traffic flow
Finally, the NSPA scores a legal victory! It figures it could only happen in South Carolina.
We must admit we first didn’t take any interest in the case of Juan Burns from our Laurens County NSPA chapter because we figured he was Hispanic because of his first name. However, we later found out he just happens to be a White guy whose parents named him Juan for whatever reason. Maybe his parents were free love hippie types and that was the thing to do back then. It’s kind of like how we didn’t take any interest in the George Zimmerman case when we first saw pictures of him because he looked kind of Hispanic to us. When we found out he was technically a White guy, we got behind him 100%.
Well, we’ve been following Patriot Burns’ case for the past three years as he faced murder charges for shooting and killing an unarmed neighbor. See, we knew Patriot Burns was innocent from the get go because he was a self proclaimed neighborhood watch leader. As we know, only the most well adjusted, secure, even tempered, sensible men become neighborhood watch leaders so there’s no way he would be capable of cold blooded murder.
Now the haters all say Patriot Burns was at fault because he instigated the events that led up to the fatal confrontation he had with his neighbor. However, after Patriot Burns left threatening messages directed to his neighbor, who Patriot Burns suspected had destroyed a surveillance camera installed at the end of his driveway, this neighbor showed up to Patriot Burns’ house holding a piece of concrete and backed by a dangerous posse consisting of his mother, half-brother and the half-brother’s girlfriend. They started throwing rocks at Patriot Burns’ truck to lure him out of his house to confront him over the threatening messages.
Well, Patriot Burns had no choice but to go out and confront them with his gun. He didn’t have time to call the police because they had rocks and were denting his truck. Then when he left the safety of his house, he had no choice except to shoot his neighbor because he felt his life was in danger when he saw the piece of concrete in his neighbor’s hand. After all, a well aimed piece of concrete to the temple can kill somebody just as easily as a gun shot. Just look at how David defeated Goliath with a rock from a slingshot.
Thankfully the jury saw that Patriot Burns was perfectly justified in killing his neighbor and found him not guilty of murder. We all feel a bit safer knowing that Patriot Burns and his gun are back on the neighborhood watch to be on the lookout for any dangerously unstable types who pose a danger to upstanding citizens. We’re just thankful for the jury in South Carolina, the state where justice still lives! Sorry, Dictator Obama.
Neighborhood watch leader acquitted after fatally shooting neighbor
Curiosity didn’t kill the cat this time around. Patriot Rooks killed the cat, and for good reason!
Larry Jefferson Rooks from our Dacula NSPA chapter was arrested this past weekend for shooting and killing his neighbor’s cat with a .22 caliber rifle. Sure enough, all of the animal loving, gun hating liberals have been venting their hateful venom toward him online because they have empty lives and shriveled hearts full of smiting spite. Like always, they react on emotion and ignore the facts. Patriot Rooks had a perfectly good reason for killing the cat.
First of all, cats are the Devil’s consort. How often have you seen images of cats in the company of witches? More times than you can remember, I’m sure. Patriot Rooks saw the frightening feline stalking towards his property. Well, it was time for this Good Guy With A Gun to stand his ground. As he later explained to the police, he shot the cat because it was coming to his property to pass fleas to his dog.
See, Patriot Rooks is a man of action who knows how to take thoughtful, decisive steps to prevent the spread of a serious health threat. He’s not like that weak, fey Obama who refused to close our borders and to stop all air travel to and from Sub-Saharan Africa to protect us real Americans from the spread of Ebola. Sure, only one person died from Ebola in America, and the few people who were infected recovered quickly, but Vladimir Putin would have handled the situation much more like a real leader.
Unfortunately Patriot Rooks is now waiting to face an animal cruelty charge in court. We will keep following this case to make sure they don’t try to send Patriot Rooks to one of those FEMA concentration camps Glenn Beck has been warning us about.
Cops: Man shoots cat to death over fear of fleas
Hey, the 62-year old man was talking smack about the in-home nursing skills of Patriot Gullion’s wife so this Good Guy with a gun was simply doing the right thing.
Clifford Gullion from our Detroit NSPA chapter and a member of the Detroit Police Department was arrested early this morning for firing 5 shots from his .40 caliber handgun into the home of a couple in their early 60s. The reason Patriot Gullion had no choice but to shoot up the house is that Patriot Gullion’s wife provides in-home care to the 62-year old woman who lives in the house, and word got back to Patriot Gullion that the woman’s 61-year old husband had been dissing Mrs. Gullion behind her back.
Since Patriot Gullion is a reasonable, emotionally mature white guy, he tried to calmly resolve the situation by bombarding the couple with early morning text messages and phone calls. See, Patriot Gullion understands it is never a good idea to go to bed angry so he was just trying to talk this through with them before going to bed. Well, they never responded to these messages so Patriot Gullion took the next logical step in conflict resolution and got his gun. Then he went to the house and shot it up. We are certain the old man won’t be trash talking Mrs. Gullion any time soon.
So what reward did Patriot Gullion get for his efforts to defend his wife’s honor? Oh, let’s just say he faces possible jail time of 10 years for discharging a weapon and an additional two years for the felony firearm charges. To compound this travesty of justice the city of Detroit faces the prospect of losing one of its finest. If there’s one thing the violent streets of Detroit cannot afford to lose, it’s a well armed, stable police officer who exhibits sound judgment in resolving conflicts. If you listen real carefully, you can hear Dictator Obama gleefully chuckling.
Detroit cop charged after Macomb shooting
His fiancée made him look like a chump and undercut his manhood so what else was he supposed to do?
Daniel Joseph Werner from our Nanticoke NSPA chapter was arrested Friday night for using his shotgun to remind his fiancée that he was a real man who wouldn’t stand for being made to look like a fool by some woman after he found her naked in another man’s house and went back to his house to get his shotgun. He returned to the other man’s house and took a shot at her and missed. He then shot up the other man’s car. How else was he supposed to respond to such an emasculating experience other than to whip out his long shafted shotgun and to start firing some bullets from it?
Why aren’t the bleeding heart liberals coming to his defense to ask for consideration of these environmental circumstances that led up to the incident? The reason is that they don’t care about proud, gun loving, small penised White men. That’s why! So after dealing with the humiliating sight of his naked fiancée in another man’s home, (just to make matters worse for him) he is now facing two counts each of first-degree and second-degree attempted murder, along with assault and reckless endangerment charges. I know I’m beginning to sound like a broken record, but I’ve got to say it’s just another day in Obama’s America.
Police: Nanticoke man shoots at naked fiancée, neighbor
He just wanted to make sure the home owners knew he was at the door.
Mark Muehlen from our Genesee County NSPA chapter was arrested Sunday by the Genesee County Sheriff’s department for shooting his .45 caliber handgun 10 times into the front door of a neighbor’s home. The trouble started after some busy body neighbor called the Sheriff’s department to tattle on Muehlen for having a harmless argument with his wife that got all blown out of proportion into a domestic violence incident.
Well, the lamestream media didn’t do a good job of explaining why Muehlen was firing his gun into the neighbor’s front door. First of all, how many times have you visited a house and used the doorbell but then started to suspect the doorbell wasn’t working? Then you start to feel uncomfortable because you don’t know whether to ring the doorbell again or maybe knock because you don’t want to seem pushy and impatient in case the doorbell is working and it’s just taking the person in the house a while to come to the door. Then more time goes by and you become convinced the doorbell isn’t working, but you still don’t know whether to risk annoying the person in the house by ringing it again. But then you start wondering how long you can just keep standing at the door if nobody comes to the door. You know what I’m talking about.
Well, Patriot Muehlen simply wanted to avoid that awkward moment of indecision on his part and wanted to make sure his neighbor knew he was at the door so he could explain that there wasn’t any domestic violence incident going on. Then before Patriot Muehlen could have this conversation, the Sheriff’s department showed up with the mandate to lock up another NSPA member in jail to please Dictator Obama. So Patriot Muehlen got in his car to get away since he knew the fix was in, and he got into a little fender bender with two of the department’s cars. You know how this story ends. Muehlen was taken into custody and now faces numerous charges including assault, home invasion, and carrying weapons without a concealed license. NSPA lives matter, but nobody seems to care.
Man shoots up home, damages police cruisers during flee attempt
“Guys, what’s the big deal?” Our sentiments, exactly!
Another day, another Proud Patriot arrested for no good reason. On Sunday Stephen Gianuzzi from our Delray Beach NSPA chapter was basically arrested for telling his mooching, no good neighbor to buzz off. See, the neighbor is a grown man who rides his bike all the time (and do we even need to tell you how annoying adult avid bicycle riders can be) and regularly helps himself to Patriot Gianuzzi’s air pump to fill his bike tires.
Well, on Sunday Patriot Gianuzzi decided enough is enough so when Freddy the Freeloader from next door came over to help himself to some free air, Patriot Gianuzzi met him with his shotgun and gave him a well placed warning shot just a little to the left of his head. Apparently the bike tires had enough air in them for the ungrateful, self entitled neighbor to pedal lickety split over to another neighbor’s house to call the police.
When the Delray Beach police showed up to investigate, Patriot Gianuzzi simply explained he was tired of his neighbor always coming over for free air so he gave him a little shotgun warning to start going to the gas station to get his free air in the future. As Patriot Gianuzzi said, “Guys, what’s the big deal?” Not surprisingly the Delray Beach police (or as we like to call them: Big Government Employees) replied to that question by slapping some unwarranted handcuffs on him and arresting him for discharging a firearm in public and aggravated assault with a firearm. Hope you’re happy, Obama.
Man accused of shooting at neighbor asks police, ‘What’s the big deal?’ report says
Look, he was simply trying to help a wayward 16-year old girl stay off the streets and to teach her the dangers of drug use. He used the shotgun to make sure she got the point so can we just dismiss the charges, please?
Matthew Dillon from our Tulsa NSPA chapter certainly learned no good deed goes unpunished when the Tulsa police arrested him early this morning after he shot out the front door of his home with his shotgun. When the police started snooping around Patriot Dillon’s home, they discovered he had a 16-year old homeless girl living with him and that the two of them had been smoking meth before the shooting.
See, here’s what happened. Out of the goodness of his heart, Patriot Dillon took a lost and vulnerable teenage girl off the streets before some manipulative, unstable pervert could get a hold of her. He knew better than to call the county Children Services department because everybody knows how lazy those government workers are, and they wouldn’t have done anything for her. So good hearted Patriot Dillon not only saves her from the streets, but he also tried to show her the dangers of drug usage by ingesting the drugs this morning and offering some to her. After he began to hallucinate that somebody was trying to break into the house, he started shooting at the front door. See, he knew he was providing her the drugs in a safe, controlled environment so he was really doing her a long term good. He used the shotgun to make sure he had her attention and to show her how to keep herself safe with a gun once she gets a place of her own.
Well, sure enough, the gun hating Tulsa police department didn’t see it that way and arrested him for recklessly handling a firearm, contributing to the delinquency of a minor by smoking meth with her, and harboring a runaway. So once again we have one less good guy with a gun to keep us safe from the government thugs who will be sent out any day now to confiscate our guns.
Police: Tulsa Man Smoking Drugs Shoots Out Own Front Door
When the liberal, lamestream media is done hyperventilating over its coverage from South Carolina about a white police officer shooting a black man, do you think they could turn their attention to the tragedy in Rochester, New Hampshire in which two bar bouncers savagely attacked one of our NSPA members for doing nothing more than using his 2nd Amendment right to bear arms? Don’t count on it!
Gregory Cummings from our Rochester NSPA chapter was minding his own business last night at the Thirsty Moose bar when he was thrown out for probably just being a white man because that’s how things are in Obama’s
Caliphate America. Then after he was unceremoniously given the heave-ho, the bar’s two bouncers attacked him once they saw his semi-automatic handgun after he drew it and trained its laser pointer on one of them. The last time we checked, it is perfectly permissible to open carry a firearm in New Hampshire so he was basically beaten and given a black eye for obeying the law. Dictator Obama’s coup de grace is that Patriot Cummings now faces charges of reckless conduct and criminal threatening by use of a deadly weapon.
Maybe New Hampshire should change its motto to “Live free or die or get beaten to within an inch of your life and face multiple felonies for simply making use of your 2nd Amendment rights.”
Police: Man Pointed Gun at Bouncers
The lamestream media is trying to make much of the fact that Patriot Lackey posted on social media earlier that night that he was going to “make bad decisions”, but, excuse us, we still don’t see any evidence of bad decisions from that night.
We’re sorry to report in this case that the score is Team Obama 1, Team Good Guys With A Gun 0. Last Friday Jeremy Lackey from our Slidell NSPA chapter was simply using his first amendment rights to blow off a little steam that naturally results from being a persecuted well armed, small penised, White man by posting on social media that he planned to “make bad decisions” and that he “wanted somebody to pay” for all of the troubles in his life. It’s not like Patriot Lackey is some emotionally immature White guy who is disappointed with the way his life has turned out and can only cope with the lack of any accomplishment in his life by lashing out in acts of mindless violence. No, he knows that we are all responsible for our own actions and cannot blame others for our problems unless you are a good White Christian heterosexual man because the deck is stacked against guys like us.
So he ended up that night at a local tavern, minding his own business, when one of the other customers must have been doing something stupid, like talking about how he hopes Hillary Clinton will become our next President. So Patriot Lackey became “belligerent” and got thrown out. Then right on cue the police showed up to harass him.
How much guff can one Patriot be expected to take so he got his .40 caliber pistol, stood his ground and began firing at the officers. Then to add insult to injury, the police sicked their K-9 on him. Now Patriot Lackey faces 3 counts of attempted first degree murder of a police officer and one count of illegal use of a dangerous weapon in connection to the incident. The only bad decision we can see Patriot Lackey made that night was to think he could go out that night without being persecuted for being a gun loving, Christian, White, heterosexual man.
La. man shoots cop after posting plan to make ‘bad decisions’ online
If you overlook the fact that Patriot Andy Martin accidentally shot his wife and 15-month old child after a night of drinking, in the long run they are much safer living with Patriot Martin and his gun because he could protect them in case a roving pack of black men ever try to break in their house.
Andy Martin from our Summerville NSPA chapter was charged with attempted murder Tuesday after he had been drinking and taking a little harmless target practice in his back yard when he had a little accident and fired his shotgun into a parked car where his wife and their 15-month old child had been sitting.
We could post a lot of statistics about how much safer people are in a home presided over by a small penised, White guy who carries a gun at all times, but we don’t want to bore you because it is just so obvious so we won’t. We’re sure those statistics are out there anyways because what home wouldn’t be safer with a gun in it? To all the haters who would say otherwise, I’d like to ask them what would have happened to Patriot Martin’s wife and child if he didn’t have a gun, and a pack of unarmed young black men broke into the house to steal money to purchase Skittles and iced tea? We all know what would have happened, so that’s why we must thank Jesus Christ every day for the work we do here at the National Small Penis Association headquarters.
Summerville man charged in shooting of wife, child
“A well-regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed.”
James Madison, The Constitution of the United States of America
Well, if the government keeps locking up Patriot Lugar, how in the Hell will we be able to maintain a well-regulated militia?
Apparently one pound of flesh from Eric Lugar from our Tenants Harbor NSPA chapter wasn’t enough for the liberal, gun hating Knox County Sheriff’s Office so they stripped away another pound of flesh from him last night. All of the trouble started back in May 2013 when the Knox County Superior Court (in cahoots with Dictator Obama) convicted Patriot Lugar for cruelty to animals, possession of a firearm by a felon, and theft because he shot a mixed breed dog named Scooter in the head for taking a bowel movement on a floor in his home. See, Patriot Lugar had no choice but to shoot Scooter in the face because he’s not much of a newspaper reader so he didn’t have a rolled up newspaper around to smack Scooter on the snout.
After serving 60 whole days in jail, he was hit with a probation order that prevented him from possessing or consuming alcohol. Then last night some busy body neighborhood window watcher called the sheriff’s office to complain about a loud argument in front of Patriot Lugar’s home. When the deputy knocked on Patriot Lugar’s door to investigate, he noticed Patriot Lugar may have had a few beers that night. Sure enough the deputy saw this as his chance to score points with Dictator Obama so he hauled Patriot Lugar off to jail on a probation violation. Once again, there’s one less proud, well armed, small penised Patriot available to protect us from our tyrannical government.
Convicted dog shooter back in jail
We’re sure there was a perfectly good reason he shot his 77 year old neighbor in her torso Saturday night so let’s not rush to judgment.
We have been inundated by media requests for a comment on the arrest of Sam Roark from our Ashe County NSPA chapter for his Saturday night shooting of his 77 year old neighbor. All we know so far is that he shot her in the torso with his shotgun in her home. What we don’t know so far is what she did to him to force him to shoot her. Since Patriot Roark is a good guy with a gun we are sure it had something to do with protecting the safety of his community. After all, if you were running a terrorist organization in America, who would be a more valuable, under the radar recruit than a 77 year old woman to carry out a mission? This is just another reminder of why it is so important to make sure proud, small penised, White patriots have unfettered access to guns.
We well keep you updated on the details of this case as soon as they come in.
When they took away his free buffets for life, they took away his life.
John Noble from our Las Vegas NSPA chapter had no choice but to put one of his beloved guns to his head and commit suicide at the M Resort buffet yesterday on Easter Sunday because in 2013 the bastards at M Resort revoked the free buffets for life they had awarded him in 2010. They claim they revoked the free buffets because Patriot Smith harassed and paid unwanted attention to many of the women employed at the resort.
Sure, the liberal lamestream media will get their panties all twisted up in a knot while protesting the Indiana Freedom of Religion bill for allowing good Christian businesses to deny services to homosexual and lesbian deviants, but where was the protest from them over the M Resort being able to deny service to a proud, emotionally mature and stable, small penised White man? Well, there wasn’t because the lamestream liberal media doesn’t care about small penised White men who love guns.
Patriot Noble was exactly the type of responsible Good Guy with a Gun who we could have counted on to use sound judgment with a gun in his hands to help us take America back to what it used to be. Unfortunately, that will never happen now because M Resort could deny service to a man who liked to harmlessly flirt with the girls who worked there. Heaven forbid, they sure wouldn’t have been able to deny Patriot Noble his free buffets for life if he had been flirting with the men who worked there. Again, it’s just another day in Obama’s America.
Suicide at M Resort blamed on loss of free buffet for life
If the Sandusky police had spent more time enforcing noise ordinances rather than harassing gun owners, none of this would have happened in the first place.
Joshua Johnson from our Sandusky NSPA chapter was
persecuted arrested Friday night by the Sandusky police for doing the job they should have been doing earlier that night. It all started when Patriot Johnson was relaxing in his mobile home with a few drinks after work. Then, like they always do, his rude neighbors were playing their damn partying music too loud. Well, Patriot Johnson had been through this plenty of times before and knew the Sandusky police would be help so he did the one sensible thing he could – he fired his 9mm handgun at his neighbor’s mobile home.
Sure enough, the Sandusky police were finally roused to action because this was their chance to harass a proud White, Christian gun owner. In short order they arrested and charged him with using weapons while intoxicated, discharging a firearm on or near prohibited premises and disorderly conduct while intoxicated. (The Sandusky law director may as well cut to the chase and simply make fun illegal within the city limits). It should be no surprise that the Sandusky police didn’t even bother to cite the neighbors for violating the city’s noise ordinance. It’s just another day in Obama’s America!
Neighbors play loud music; man fires off gun in response
If the police hadn’t initially confiscated his guns back in January, none of this probably would have ever happened. We hope this leads to a review of the Brown County Sheriff Office’s procedures and policies for taking lawfully owned guns away from American Patriots!
Daniel Somoskey from our Georgetown, OH NSPA chapter was hauled into Brown County Court Thursday and forced to plead guilty to shooting and killing his girlfriend in an incident at her home last year in March. The shooting occurred just two days after Patriot Somoskey and his girlfriend reclaimed his three guns from the Brown County Sheriff’s office where they had been kept away from Patriot Somoskey for two agonizing months.
The Brown County Sheriff’s Office had held Patriot Somoskey’s guns hostage for over two months after they had raided his home and confiscated his 3 guns on the night of 1/12/2014 because they claimed he had been “using weapons while intoxicated.” Since when was that a crime? This is just another example of how the Obama Wrecking Crew is destroying our Constitution.
Well, after the Brown County Court dragged their feet as long as they could, they finally gave him a suspended sentence and said he could get his guns back. Then two days after Patriot Somoskey was reunited with his guns, his girlfriend ended up dying from a gunshot wound. Everybody knows how quickly a gun owner can get rusty if he is away from his gun for more than a couple of hours, let alone a couple of months. Is it any surprise that Patriot Somoskey had an accident with one of his guns after he had been separated from it for so long by the Brown County Sheriff’s Office? A gun is a finely nuanced piece of craftsmanship that must be handled daily by its loving and faithful owner to ensure high level performance. Why isn’t anybody from the Brown County Shefiff’s Office facing any charges for the death of Patriot Somoskey’s girlfriend?
Brown County man sentenced for shooting, killing girlfriend
NSPA MEMBER RAILROADED INTO A 6 MONTH SENTENCE IN A COUNTY JAIL WHEN ALL HE DID WAS ACCIDENTALLY SHOOT HIS GIRLFRIEND IN THE FACE AND KILL HER! HE SAID HE WAS SORRY. WHAT MORE IS THERE TO SAY?
When will it end? Eric Gaulin from our Tarrytown NSPA chapter was waylaid in Westchester County Court yesterday to 6 months in a county jail for the September 2013 accident in which he killed his girlfriend with a gunshot to the face while he was cleaning his .308-caliber Ruger Scout rifle. Sure, it’s a shame that the young woman died, but Patriot Gaulin shouldn’t have his life ruined by an accident. After all, he is the son of a prominent New York City entertainment lawyer so it’s not like he is some reckless inner city thug who is likely to get a groundswell of liberal guilt sympathy from the lamestream media. What resources can possibly be brought to bear to provide this young man some measure of protection from a broken judicial system? Apparently none, based on this horribly unjust sentence! Six months of his life taken away….
Also, we are afraid that the importance of regular gun maintenance and cleaning will be lost in the hysterical coverage of this case. All gun owners need to clean their guns regularly to ensure smooth operation and function. Regular cleaning also prevents the buildup of rust and helps maintain accuracy. Good luck trying to find any of this information in the lamestream media’s coverage of the story.
Megan Bookstaver: Boyfriend gets 6 months in shooting death
As Patriot Melnick explained to the police, he is an expert marksman so if he had really wanted to shoot his neighbor, he would not have missed him and hit his car tire, just like how I’m an expert ladies man and I could have really gone out with Cheryl in the accounts receivable department at work if I really wanted to so if you hear her telling anybody that I awkwardly approached her and asked her out to a Focus On The Family Pro Life dinner banquet, don’t believe her! If she says this, she is speaking with a forked tongue!
Dogs are man’s best friend….only if the man is a swishy liberal who will never know the loving companionship composed of unspoken moments of intimacy and understanding that exist between a man and his firearm. So, no, we proudly proclaim that Mark Melnick from our Phoenix NSPA chapter is real American Christian man and has no dog friends. Unfortunately, his neighbor is a middle aged man who apparently must stave off a corrosive, unending, systemic sense of crushing loneliness (something which we NSPA members know nothing about from personal experience, we’ve only heard about it because we are all totally well adjusted men who have a healthy network of friends and family) by taking his dog friend out for a walk.
Well, Patriot Melnick claimed this dog had once bit him so he was well within his rights to stand his ground Sunday night when he drew his gun on his neighbor and his dog friend. Then he said, (and we’re sure he probably sounded like Dirty Harry when he said this) “I’m going to put a bullet in your dog’s head and I got one in here for you, too.”
Then, as the yellow bellied neighbor ran away, Patriot Melnick pulled the trigger and hit the front driver’s side tire of the neighbor’s car. When the police showed up, Patriot Melnick had the perfectly understandable explanation that he is an expert marksman so he wouldn’t have missed his neighbor if he had really been trying to kill him. Surprise, surprise but the police didn’t listen to him and charged him with one count of attempted second-degree murder and one count of interfering with a judicial proceeding.
This is just another example of how our corrupt and broken legal system is rigged against proud, gun loving, small penised, Christian White men who don’t need dog friends.
PD: Man angry with resident’s dog arrested on attempted murder charges
And when it comes, it finds the house swept and put in order.
Gregory Thomas Johnson from our Fenton NSPA chapter had the deck stacked against him today in the Genesee
Sharia Circuit Court so he had no choice except to plead no contest to charges of assault with intent to commit harm less than murder and felony firearms in the May 2014 shooting of his neighbor. See, it all started when Patriot Johnson made a helpful visit to his neighbor to gently remind him of his civic and Christian responsibility to keep a well maintained home and lawn. Well, Patriot Johnson’s unruly and unappreciative neighbor didn’t take kindly to the suggestion, and an argument ensued. Patriot Johnson then had to defend himself so he took the sensible action of drawing his gun and shooting his neighbor.
Sure enough, the local law enforcement and judicial officials saw this as an opportunity to frame him as an emotionally unstable criminal to get him off the streets so there will be one less good guy with a gun available to stand up to Dictator Obama’s Goon Squad when they come to take our guns away.
Case of Fenton shooting over unmowed lawn ends with plea agreement
Yeah, he had a 9mm handgun stuffed into his pants. That’s the whole point of owning a gun.
Adam White from our Mosinee NSPA chapter was arrested this weekend after a barroom altercation that started after his 9mm handgun fell to the ground from one of his pant legs while he was playing pool. Now just about every member of the NSPA packs his handgun into the crotch of his pants before he goes out for the night, and these type of wardrobe malfunctions happen every once in a while so no harm, no foul. However, some busy body harpy at the bar felt the need to run her mouth to lecture him that it was illegal for him to have the gun in the bar and that it was dangerous for him to have it on him while he was drinking. As if that weren’t enough, she then nagged at him to lock his gun up in the trunk of his truck.
Well, there’s only so much lip a good guy with a gun can take from a shrill, hysterical woman so we don’t see why everybody is making such a big deal that he hit her on the side of her neck with his pool cue. Then to make sure she learned her lesson about minding her own business, he fired multiple gun shots into the air.
The real crime here is that Patriot White now faces charges of carrying a handgun where alcohol is sold and consumed, battery with a dangerous weapon, criminal damage to property and disorderly conduct. This is just a timely reminder that well armed, small penised men are the one minority group in America that can still be freely discriminated against.
Man accused of shooting gun outside bar charged
Well, at least he is maintaining an active role in his son’s life.
Evan Anderson from our Linn County NSPA chapter was arrested yesterday after he kicked his way inside his ex-girlfriend’s home and confronted her and her new boyfriend by shooting a gun into the ceiling and the floor of her home. When her mother drove up to see what was going on, Patriot Anderson rammed her car with his truck and sped away. Now the liberal media is making much of the fact that Patriot Anderson had his 14-month old son with him during all this. It should be no surprise that the Linn County busy bodies called in the Department of Human Services to take his son away from him. Then the Linn County Court hit him with charges of first-degree burglary, menacing and felon in possession of a firearm with the threat of more charges coming.
Well, we’re sorry if the authorities feel the need to punish Patriot Anderson for being a responsible father who is present in his son’s life. We suppose they would be happier if he were like one of these inner city fathers who walks away from his paternal responsibilities. We mourn the possibility that Patriot Anderson will be sent to prison and a young boy will not have a mature, responsible father around to teach him how to handle a gun and how to grow up to be a real man…..just the way Dictator Obama wants it.
Linn County man shoots woman’s house, rams her mom’s car, police say
“I’m gonna get you (expletive,) no matter how long it takes.” David Laster
Hey, what couple doesn’t have an argument every once in a while?
We here at the NSPA headquarters are saddened to report the loss of our brother Patriot David Laster from our Jackson NSPA chapter who died from a gunshot wound this past week. Now the gun hating local media and the local law enforcement officials (who want nothing more than to disarm as many citizens as possible) are trying to label his death as a murder/suicide. See, Patriot Laster’s ex-girlfriend was shot and killed at the bank where she worked, and Patriot Laster was found by her with what the police pronounced to be a self inflicted gun shot. However, we are still waiting for a copy of the police report so we can do our own investigation. We’re thinking maybe Patriot Laster maybe just stopped by to check on his ex-girlfriend to see how she was doing when maybe a bank robber showed up and Patriot Laster had a concealed gun on him and rose to the occasion and acted like a good guy with a gun and tried to stop the robbery but ended up getting shot after the bank robber shot his ex-girlfriend. You know, that could have happened, maybe.
Sure, Patriot Laster had a history of assaulting his ex-girlfriend and making repeated threats to her over the phone, but that doesn’t mean he would kill her with his gun. You see, gun haters are always ready to rush to judgment in cases like this. We must be ready to give people plenty of second chances.
If you open your Bibles to Matthew 18:21-22, you’ll see the LORD commands you to give more than a second chance. – Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy seven times.”
So we are sure the truth will come out in the fullness of time, and Patriot Laster’s memory will be vindicated.
Murder-suicide suspect previously charged with assaulting victim
“When the war starts, there won’t be anyone who is safe. Just because you have a badge or a black robe isn’t going to protect you.” William Krisstofer Wolf
“Like I said, the purpose of the gun is not to go hunting with. It’s to clean house.” William Krisstofer Wolf
As the inhabitants of the inner city are prone to say, it is as if I have a brother from another woman who gives birth.
William Krisstofer Wolf from our Bozeman NSPA chapter was unfairly carted off to jail by the Obama Goon Squad this past Wednesday on “federal” (and we use that term lightly) gun charges for buying a converted fully-automatic gun from an undercover
KGB FBI agent. The gun (a Saiga-12, fully automated shotgun with a shortened barrel) was a real beauty and would have been put to good use to protect us sovereign citizens from our local, state and federal government officials. So it shouldn’t be any surprise that Dictator Obama, the much vaunted community organizer, had Patriot Wolf branded by Montana law enforcement agencies as an anti-government organizer (note the irony).
So you see, the real “crime” they want to get Patriot Wolf for is his efforts to defend the constitutional rights of all sovereign citizens against the constitutional overreach of judges, law enforcement officials and the Dictator In Chief himself. Patriot Wolf has done nothing more than use his first amendment rights to deliver a call to arms, which happens to be a right granted by the 2nd Amendment in case you liberals forgot, on his fantastic weekly internet webcast, “The Montana Republic”.
In addition to the fully-automatic gun he purchased, the authorities are trying to make much of the fact that Patriot Wolf wanted to purchase a flamethrower because it would be an effective way to counteract the body armor worn by law enforcement officials. Leave it to the Feds to try to spread lies. We here at the NSPA are sure that this is probably nothing more than a misrepresentation of some Iron Man fan fiction we’re guessing Patriot Wolf was probably writing on the internet in his spare time. You know, he probably was developing a villain who was creating a flamethrower system to melt Iron Man’s armor. However, in Obama’s America, that’s enough to get a Patriot sent away to prison for 10 years. Fight the power!
Bozeman man arrested for possessing machine gun
Leave it to a public school system to punish a brave Patriot and to leave all of the school children at risk to be killed by a knife wielding lunatic.
John Lyle Keith from our Des Moines NSPA chapter was fired from his janitorial job this week by the Des Moines Public School Board for having a loaded .38 caliber handgun at the Central Campus school where he worked. Only a group of Marxist, liberal, pension obsessed public school teachers could fire the one REAL MAN on campus who would have been able to protect them and the school’s students from an unstable mass murderer like Min Yingjun, the knife wielding maniac who stabbed 23 children and an elderly woman in the famous Chenpeng Village Primary School stabbing in 2013.
First they insist on teaching evolution, then they insist on teaching about slavery’s role in American history, then they ban prayer and now they’ve banned guns. It’s all part of Saul Alinsky’s liberal teachers union plan to turn our children into Godless, liberal, gun hating, self loathing Americans who will graduate from these indoctrination camps with the mission to destroy our country from within.
Janitor arrested, fired for gun on school grounds
Yeah, yeah, yeah, she was the mother of a 9-year old son, but let’s not forget she welched on a $10,000 loan so it’s not like she was some innocent victim as you will see if you open your Bible to Psalm 37:21.
The wicked borrows but does not pay back, but the righteous is generous and gives;
Russell Lee Williamson from our Village Creek NSPA chapter was formally charged yesterday with capital murder and attempted murder for shooting and killing a woman who owed him $10,000 and for trying to shoot and kill her boyfriend. The liberal media is trying to evoke sympathy for the woman by making much of the fact that she leaves behind a 9-year old son but downplays the significance of her outstanding debt. Patriot Williamson was simply standing his financial ground against this wicked welcher. If we don’t have unlimited access to any gun we want, we run the risk of being fleeced by a flock of freeloaders. This is just another example of why we must fight any attempt to restrict our gun rights and support the work of our friends in the NRA.
Suspect charged with capital murder after woman shot over $10,000 debt
Well, if his son had read his Bible and knew to honor thy father, none of this would have ever happened. Doesn’t it seem like fewer and fewer people are guided by the Bible ever since Dictator Obama and his Chicago Wrecking Crew took over? I’m just sayin’.
With a heavy heart, we must report sad news from New Hampshire. Lloyd Steven Barnard from our Sanbornton NSPA chapter was sentenced to 3 – 10 years in prison today for shooting his son this past August. Prior to the shooting, Patriot Barnard and his son were in a heated argument. Since his son was a little too old for a spanking, Patriot Barnard was left with no choice but to pull out his .45 caliber handgun to discipline his son. We would like to point out that Patriot Barnard only shot his son in the leg so it’s not like he tried to get a kill shot. His son fully recovered from the gun shot so we don’t see what the big deal is. My daddy shot me a couple of times when I was a little trouble maker, and I turned out perfectly fine and well adjusted.
The real issue here isn’t the fact that Patriot Barnard simply used a gun to settle a parenting issue in his own home. No, the real issue is the continued erosion of the Christian faith in America today. This never would have happened if Patriot Barnard’s son had never argued with his father. His son would have never gotten in the argument if he had read his Bible regularly and knew the following verses:
Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Colossians 3:20
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Ephesians 6:1
‘Honor your father and mother. Anyone who curses their father or mother is to be put to death.’ Matthew 15:4
Actually, according to Matthew 15:4 Patriot Barnard went kind of easy on his son because he did not put him to death. However, the Sharia courts now in place in America thanks to Dictator Obama don’t care about any of this so they carted off Patriot Barnard to jail. How convenient for them that he won’t be free with a gun in his hands to protect us when President Obama comes to take our guns and to have his ISIS buddies come over the border into New Hampshire from Canada to take over and destroy America.
Man who shot son sentenced to 3-10 years
Okay, he did kill his wife by shooting her in the face with his 9mm gun, but as one of his attorneys pointed out at the bond hearing this “incident is an aberration in the life of a lawful and law-abiding man.” This is clearly a good guy with a gun who happened to have one bad day. Who amongst us hasn’t had a bad day?
He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her. JOHN 8:7
James Timothy Hall from our Winchester NSPA chapter has been charged with first degree murder, burglary and reckless endangerment for the shooting death of his wife last week. Apparently she had been fooling around on him behind his back for two years while she engaged in an on again/off again affair with another man so it’s not like she is blameless in this accident because she did violate the covenant of marriage in the eyes of the Lord after all. How could she have sought comfort in the arms of another man when she was already married to such a decent, well adjusted husband as described by Patriot Hall’s attorneys?
The real culprit here is not Patriot Hall and his 9mm gun. No, it is the breakdown of the sanctity of traditional marriage between a man and a woman. It’s not like we failed to warn you that this would be the type of matrimonial chaos that would be unleashed once this once great Nation began allowing same sex marriage. Hope you’re happy, Rachel Maddow!
‘Crime of passion': Husband killed wife due to alleged affair, say attorneys
Okay, so maybe giving them his and hers guns as a wedding present wasn’t such a good idea because you know what kind of trouble can occur when a woman is holding a gun.
Jeremy Alex Gambrell from our Harriman NSPA chapter was arrested this weekend for shooting his ex-wife three times in the chest and then firing his gun at her current boyfriend, but that sure isn’t the whole story. See, the whole thing started when Patriot Gambrell and his ex-wife, who live next to each other, got into a heated argument while standing in their respective yards. We are waiting to read the police report to see exactly what she was nagging him about to start the argument. One thing led to another and they drew their guns on each other.
Back in happier times, we here at the NSPA bought Patriot Gambrell and his ex-wife these guns as a wedding gift. In the back of our minds at the time, we did have concerns about putting a gun in the hands of a woman because you know how impulsive, irrational and emotional they can be. However, we figured she would be a good and obedient wife and wouldn’t use the gun without her husband’s supervision. Boy, were we wrong.
They shot warning shots at each other, and then Patriot Gambrell decided enough was enough so he ran into his ex-wife’s house to confront her boyfriend, probably to chastise him for not being man enough to keep this woman in line. Well, they got into it, and somehow Patriot Gambrell’s ex-wife got herself shot multiple times in the chest. Then his gun somehow discharged bullets toward her boyfriend but didn’t hit him.
Patriot Gambrell had no choice except to get in a barricaded stand off with the police because he knew they would probably blame him for what happened, even though he was an ex-police officer. Like a police officer would ever let his emotions over take him and cause him to exhibit poor judgment while holding a gun.
Well, the dust settled and now Patriot Gambrell sits in jail. If any good can come out of this it is that we have learned the lesson to be taught from this situation: NEVER BUY A WOMAN A GUN!
Former Lenoir City, TVA officer charged with shooting ex-wife in Roane County
So what if he shot his cousin in a trailer park after a night of drinking? That’s what they do in Kentucky. Why aren’t the authorities spending their time combating the real threat to Kentuckians – GAY MARRIAGE?!!! This is a particular threat because Kentucky has long been at the forefront of the threat to traditional marriage. All of those cousin kissing and copulating Kentuckians started the whole slippery slope that has undermined Christian marriage between one man and one woman in America today in the first place!
Jonathan Humfleet from our Laurel County NSPA chapter was arrested early this morning after shooting his cousin, who died a few hours later. Police investigating the shooting, which took place at a trailer park where the two cousins shared a mobile home, speculated that alcohol usage may have fueled the argument that led Patriot to use his 9mm handgun to shoot and kill his cousin.
Well, as we have already pointed out, cousins, guns, mobile homes and alcohol frequently intersect in the course of a typical evening in Kentucky. This is nothing more than an unfortunate accident that is just part of the small price we must pay on occasion in order to be a well armed nation of responsible, emotionally stable, Christian White men.
However, it should be no surprise that Patriot Humfleet will now be facing murder charges, because Kentucky’s Democratic Governor Steve Beshear clearly takes all of his marching orders from Dictator Obama. After all, he is the one who forced a “successful” state run health insurance exchange and an expansion of Medicaid down the throats of Kentuckians as a part of the cursed Obamacare.
If you ask us, the real reason Patriot Humfleet has been locked up is that Dictator Obama and his toady Beshear want to lock up any well armed Patriot who would stand up to them to protect his fellow Kentuckians from being forced to get healthcare.
Laurel man charged in fatal shooting of his cousin
“Roid rage” is just another case of dog whistle language used by liberal gun hating wussies to make gun loving, small penised, proud White men look like dangerously unstable, infantile sociopaths who should not be allowed anywhere within 100 yards of a gun.
Coley Clayton Wood from our Midland NSPA chapter was charged on Thursday with aggravated assault of a family or house member and possession of a controlled substance greater than 400 grams. This all started when one of Patriot Wood’s hysterical nerdy roommates called the police to tattle on him for yelling and brandishing a gun. That’s kind of like calling the police on somebody for acting like a REAL American. The caller also made some ridiculous accusations about cocaine and steroid usage which allegedly had sent him into a “roid rage.”
Well, the police fell for it hook, line and sinker. After all the police only found 3,000 milligrams of Drostanolone, testosterone, Nandrolone and Trenbolone in Patriot Wood’s bathroom. Since when did a few health supplements ever send anybody into a roid rage?
Now Patriot Wood is facing 99 years in prison if he is convicted. He is just another victim of the liberal hate machine that tries to demonize the winning combination of energetic White men and guns. That’s why the NSPA is here every day to give you the truth!
Alleged gun wielder in ‘roid-rage’ arrested
So the police observed “clear evidence on scene that supported the report of some type of physical altercation involving gunfire.” Well, big whoop-de-do because that only describes your run of the mill weekend when you hang with members of the National Small Penis Association. We’re cool, and that’s how we roll.
Well, the Obama Gun Hating Cartel must be awfully self satisfied today because they got a two for one miscarriage of justice by locking up John Gallaty and James Compton from our Franklin Township NSPA chapter last night after a harmless evening of horsing around with alcohol and firearms. Yes, they shot a friend of theirs in the course of the evening, but it’s not like he died. As one of the charges, assault with intent to do great bodily harm less than murder, slapped on them acknowledges, the guy didn’t die. That raises the obvious question of what is the big deal here?
This is simply the story of 3 good, Christian, White men who were relaxing and bonding over alcohol and firearms. Yeah, one of them got shot, but this is no different than 3 friends getting together to have a few drinks while playing some flag football, and one of them gets a sprained ankle. However, Dictator Obama is calling the shots and sent out the word to use the accidental shooting as an excuse to lock up two small penised Patriots because he doesn’t want men like them to be free to defend America when he invites his friends from ISIS to cross our borders to destroy our country.
See, this is all part of the master plan to take guns out of the hands of good guy White guys. That’s why we must fight for our rights every day!
Man, 67, charged with shooting friend’s son in Clare County
What do you get when ‘Cleanliness is next to godliness’ meets ‘Spare the rod, spoil the child’? You get Dictator Obama’s minions sending a proud, gun loving, small penised White man to jail.
Ronald Smith from our Angelina County NSPA chapter was simply combining a little gun power with his parenting skills and his respect for Christianity tinged adages about cleanliness and avoidance of spoiling children when he pulled his rifle on his wife and stepson to provide his stepson a gentler reminder that he needed to clean up his messy bedroom if he wanted to continue living under his roof.
All the trouble started when the bratty 37-year step son responded to Patriot Smith’s command to clean his room by cussing at him and hitting him in the head. When Patriot Smith’s wife tried to intervene by coddling her son, Patriot Smith did the one reasonable thing he could have done in this situation. He told them he was going to kill both of them and went to get his rifle.
Well, like mother, like son, the two ungrateful cowards ran from the house. Patriot Smith simply tried to get their attention to have them come back by shooting his rifle toward them. Unfortunately Dictator Obama’s minions are everywhere (even in freaking Angelina County, Texas for crying out loud!), and they jumped at the chance to gin up ridiculous charges of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon as an excuse to throw Patriot Smith in jail. Well, we’re on to their game, and we will be fighting every day to free Patriot Smith so he can return to the battlefield to protect us from our government.
Authorities: Zavalla man shoots at adult stepson, wife after argument over messy room
Here is a clear case of police profiling.
With all of the false talk of police profiling in the news over the past year, we have finally found a true case of police profiling. The victim of this discriminatory profiling was John Christopher Delich from our Pasedena, MD NSPA chapter when he was confronted by police for simply being in his own neighborhood.
All the trouble started Sunday night when multiple police officers charged on him because he simply appeared to be a little tipsy while carrying a handgun. The police jumped at the chance to persecute a proud White man who knows how to responsibly handle a gun, and one thing led to another and before you knew it he ended up barricaded in his home and in a shoot out with the local police. Before the night was over, Patriot Delich had a gunshot wound to his leg and was facing Two (2) counts of Attempted Second Degree Murder, Two (2) counts of First Degree Assault, Two (2) counts of Second Degree Assault, Handgun on a Person, Firearm Use/Felony Violent Crime, Two (2) counts of Reckless Endangerment, Two (2) counts of Second Degree Assault on Law Enforcement Officer, Failure to Obey Lawful Order and Disorderly Conduct.
If the police hadn’t racially profiled him for being White, intoxicated and in procession of a gun, none of this would have ever happened, and Patriot Delich would be free to protect us from our government troops when they come to take our guns.
Pasadena shooting suspect showed signs of alcohol abuse, neighbors say
Sure, he shot his 10-year old son in the face, but what’s the big to do? He is just the type of safe, responsible gun owner the NRA and we are always celebrating as the type of protector this country needs.
Vincent Pizzolato from our Monroe NSPA chapter was arrested tonight and charged with unlawful discharge of a firearm, second-degree reckless endangerment and second-degree assault with a firearm for accidentally shooting his 10-year old son in the face last week. Patriot Pizzolato had returned home last Sunday from an afternoon of target practice at a local shooting range with his wife when he went to the basement to lock his guns in a gun safe. Well, accidents happen and his 9-mm pistol discharged, which caused a bullet to enter his son’s face. Before anybody makes any snide remarks, let’s take a moment to remember that Dick Cheney accidentally shot a 78-year old friend in the face while hunting big game quail, and everything turned out fine.
As we and our friends at the NRA always point out, there is no higher ideal of rugged, self reliant manliness than the responsible gun owner, and Patriot Pizzolato is a perfect example of this ideal. He did everything right from practicing at a shooting range to intending to lock his guns in a gun safe. As long as you can overlook the fact that he shot his 10-year old son in the face, you will agree that Patriot Pizzolato is exactly the type of competent man we want carrying a concealed weapon to protect us from unarmed black teenagers who might one day walk through our neighborhoods.
Monroe Dad Charged in Accidental Shooting of 10-Year-Old Son
Please don’t listen to the ridiculous rumors about our Austin NSPA chapter’s cancelation of its planned protest at the Austin state Capitol Building today. It had absolutely nothing to do with the presence of the Huey P. Newton Gun Club. No, we have a perfectly good explanation.
Yes, our Austin NSPA chapter had been planning to hold a rally at the state Capitol Building today to support open carry legislation. No, they didn’t cancel it because they chickened out when they saw that the Dallas based Huey P Newton Gun Club had arrived before they did. In no way were any of our members scared by them. See, they had to cancel the rally because our Austin chapter president Clyde Bitner had a stomach ache this morning after eating too many stuffed cabbage rolls prepared by his mother last night. She had spent all day preparing them, and he couldn’t hurt her feelings by eating just one or two. On top of that, our Austin chapter’s vice-president Ronald Remy had to help his ex-brother in law move some furniture into a storage locker.
Now that Patriot Bitner is feeling better and Patriot Remy is done helping his ex-brother in law, the Austin NSPA chapter will be holding its rally at the Capitol Building tomorrow.
Gun group loosely affiliated with Black Panther Party marches at the Capitol
These two cases underscore the unchecked power of the cigarette rolling machine industry lobby which conveniently allows the much maligned gun industry to take the blame for what happened. It just goes to show what throwing a little money at politicians will do to absolve you from any responsibility for your actions.
In two strikingly similar cases over the past three weeks, Billy R. Dutton from our Rogersville NSPA chapter and Robert Klemish from our Scranton NSPA chapter have each been arrested for shooting somebody. Patriot Dutton faces an attempted first-degree murder charge while Patriot Dutton faces assault and discharging a firearm charges. The liberal media is trying to emphasize the roll guns played in both of these cases while de-emphasizing the root cause in both of these cases – cigarette rolling machines. Both Patriots only shot their victims after getting into arguments over cigarette rolling machines.
Do you want to know why nobody is talking about the roll the cigarette rolling machines played in these cases? Well, it’s because the slick lobbyists employed by the cigarette rolling machine industry kicked their work into overdrive and changed the narratives in both cases. They made the guns involved in the shootings the culprits. The authorities in both jurisdictions have gone noticeably silent on the issue of how cigarette rolling machines are wreaking havoc in peoples’ lives and destroying the fabric of our communities.
Even worse, the politicians who have been bought by the cigarette rolling machine industry refuse to take any sensible action to legislate an end to this horrifying scourge because they don’t want all of those campaign contributions to stop rolling in to their coffers. The real tragedy here is that the gun industry is now left to take the blame. This is just another reminder of why we must do everything we can to help our friends at the NRA!
Hawkins County man charged with trying to murder girlfriend
Landlord shoots tenant in butt over cigarette dispute
They shoot horses, don’t they? Yes, they damn well do and for good reason. This was in Maricopa County after all, and the horse was named ‘Gringo’, which I don’t have to tell you is a Spanish word used freely in Mexico. Sheriff Arpaio has been warning us about the illegal immigrant invasion all along. These two Patriots did something about it.
Well, political correctness has filtered down to the realm of the animal kingdom, and as a result Dylan Gundry and Bryce Fleming from our huge Maricopa County NSPA chapter are facing felony and animal cruelty charges. What was their crime? They shot and maimed a 6-year old quarter horse named ‘Gringo’ and left him to suffer overnight until his owner found him and had him euthanized to end his suffering.
Before the ‘Ready For Hillary’ crowd and the PETA terrorists start calling for their heads, let’s look at the facts. First, this happened in Maricopa County, which is only ground zero for the illegal immigrant invasion that the county’s esteemed Sheriff Joe Arpaio (who also happens to be a member of the NSPA’s Founders’ Council, by the way) has been warning us about for years. Second, the horse’s name was ‘Gringo.’ As I mentioned above, that is a Spanish word used freely in Mexico. Why did the horse have such a name? What’s wrong with an American horse name like ‘Trigger’ or ‘Silver’ or ‘Champion’? Our guess is that the horse was frequently being brought across the border to ferry drugs and pregnant women determined to deliver anchor babies into Arizona. Therefore, the horse was going to respond to Mexican voices saying things like, “Aqui, Gringo, aqui.” The horse wouldn’t have known what Americans speaking English were saying. Also, if you ask me, the horse actually looked an awful lot like a burro. Burros are used a great deal in Mexico. You make the connection.
So it’s clear this wasn’t some innocent little horse maimed and tortured by two gun loving sociopaths as the liberal media is trying to make it appear. No, these were two small penised, White Patriots who responded to Sheriff Arpaio’s call to bear arms and keep our borders safe. In other words, they are two perfect targets for Dictator Obama’s wish to protect Mexican sounding horses over the well being of American citizens.
Two men arrested; accused of shooting and killing horse
It was Colorado’s liberal marijuana law, not Richard Kirk’s gun, that killed his wife.
Richard Kirk from our Denver NSPA chapter appeared in court today to plead not guilty to the first-degree murder of his wife last year. Patriot Kirk shot and killed his wife last April in their home, but he was not responsible for his actions that night. As he and his defense attorney reasonably explained, he ate a piece of ‘Karma Kandy Orange Ginger’ marijuana infused candy shortly before the shooting which sent him into a hallucinatory, out of control state of mind that caused him to shoot his wife. As anybody who has seen a loved one destroyed by the demonically destructive allure of marijuana knows, the mind altering haze triggered by marijuana usage can easily lead to such violent acts. It happens every day.
However, the gun hating prosecutors saw an opportunity to make this look like a calculated gun murder. They claimed the THC level in his blood from the candy was extremely low, that Patriot Kirk had the wherewithal to remember the combination for his locked gun safe and to press the gun against his wife’s forehead. They also tried to make much of the fact that the couple’s financial and marital problems were rapidly deteriorating, that Patriot Kirk was set to collect on a $340,000 life insurance policy on his wife and that his wife had been telling friends that she had become scared of her husband because they had been fighting so much recently. In other words, they wanted to convict him for having a gun in the house.
Well, we will have to wait until the trial begins October 26 to see if the jury falls for the prosecutor’s lies. We will keep fighting on Patriot Kirk’s behalf until then.
Denver man accused of killing wife after eating pot-infused candy pleads not guilty to murder
Terry Guy was simply standing up to a bully. We thought liberals supported anti-bullying campaigns, but we guess they have no problem with gun lovers being bullied.
Terry Guy from our Kingsport NSPA chapter was arrested this week after pointing a loaded shotgun at his 9-day old granddaughter as she was being held by a man who Patriot Guy felt was bullying him. He wielded the gun at them to send a message to the man that he was not going to put up with his attempts at bullying him around his own house anymore. The bully responded as only a true bully would. He quickly rushed Patriot Guy’s granddaughter out of the room to get her away from the gun’s crosshairs.
Sure enough, the Kingston Police Department showed up and made Patriot Guy look like the bad guy here. They claimed he had endangered his infant granddaughter and charged him with two counts of aggravated assault. Liberals will get behind any anti-bullying campaign as long as it’s not a gun lover being bullied. If it is a gun lover being bullied, it’s open season in Obama’s America for all they’re concerned. #doublestandard.
Man confronts ‘bully’ by pointing gun at newborn
We’ve already demonstrated we need concealed carry to protect ourselves from unarmed black teenagers, now we’ve shown we also need concealed carry to protect ourselves from bull terriers looking for a playmate.
Joseph Potts from our Houston NSPA chapter was shamefully dragged into court today to face charges for protecting himself, his wife and their dog from an overly friendly bull terrier at the Clear Lake dog park in January. The activist judge may have allowed the charge of cruelty to a non-livestock animal to be thrown at Patriot Potts, but we know he was really being charged for being a well armed, small penised, White man (which seems to be a capital crime in Obama’s America).
Here’s what actually happened. When the bull terrier with the threatening name Diesel approached Patriot Potts and his dog and, by the accounts of all the witnesses, attempted to initiate some friendly dog play, Patriot Potts responded as any sensible NSPA member and responsible, licensed concealed carry Patriot would. He whipped that gun out of concealment and started shooting the dog before it had a chance to show its true colors and attack him and his dog. The battle tactic worked and the potentially vicious dog was later euthanized. Well, thanks to the Harris County activist judge Patriot Potts faced today, justice and our gun rights were euthanized.
Man charged in dog park shooting appears in court
If the busy bodies hadn’t prodded him to clean his gun, nobody would have died. The lesson from this should be to mind your own business!
Jefferson Davis Guinn IV is not only named after the South’s finest son and one of this country’s greatest leaders (who also happened to be the possessor of a very small penis, we are proud to add), but he is also a charter member of our Ocala NSPA chapter so it should be no surprise that he is a victim of the continued War Of Yankee Aggression to disarm proud, White, small penised, gun loving Rebels.
Rebel Guinn was having fun like any good ‘ole, manly, well reasoned Southern boy would on any typical Saturday night; He was enjoying a few drinks at a party and pointing his gun at another guest for a few laughs.
When the nerds at the party chastised him for this, he decided it was time to split the geek fest. He then hooked up with two other gun lovers so his evening started to look like it was picking back up. Rebel Guinn showed off his Kal-tech 9mm to his two friends. Well, even though these two other guys loved guns, it turned out they had a little bit of nerd in them because they started harping at Rebel Guinn about how dirty his gun was. They then took it upon themselves to disassemble the gun and demonstrate how to clean it, which all sounds kind of feminine to me.
After they reassembled the gun and handed it back to Rebel Guinn, he promptly loaded a magazine into it and put a round in the chamber. Then to get the party started, he began pointing the gun at one of the men and laughed about all the worry wart nerds who had earlier warned him about pointing guns at people. Well, that man got in the way of the gun when it discharged, and he got himself killed. If he and his buddy had never poked their noses into Rebel Guinn’s gun business, none of this probably would have ever happened.
Now Rebel Guinn is facing a manslaughter charge and Abraham Obama gets another responsible gun owner taken off the battlefield so he can roll over us like that bastard General Sherman and confiscate all of our guns without facing any resistance. From one Jefferson Davis to another, our fight will never end!
Ocala shooting leaves former Gator kicker dead
A charge of using a firearm while under the influence of alcohol? Really? Why don’t they just have a law against having fun on the weekend?
Kevin McClernon from our Broward County NSPA chapter and who is also a Broward Sheriff’s deputy, the very definition of a good guy with a gun, was booked into jail today after a grand jury indictment for a drunken off duty shooting from last year. In other words, he was framed by a corrupt, craven, cowardly, complicit Communistic court system in order to get another proud, gun loving, small penised White man off the streets so he can’t stand up to Comrade Obama’s pending gun confiscation executive order.
The facts of the case are clear. Patriot McClernon stopped by a female friend’s apartment while he was in uniform and off duty. Sure he had a few drinks, but he was doing nothing more than getting a little loose before going on duty. He was also probably trying to mentor and provide moral support to his female friend, who has more than 15 arrests on her record with charges ranging from indecent exposure, DUI, trespassing and battery on a law enforcement officer. Then her boyfriend arrived unexpectedly and started questioning why Patriot McClernon was in their home.
Patriot McClernon then did what any responsible gun toting law enforcement official would have done. He shot the boyfriend and ran away so things wouldn’t get too out of hand after he diffused the argument by using his gun. This is a perfect example of why it is so important to have well armed good guys with guns on the street to protect us from frenzied, unarmed, jealous boyfriends who feel threatened by perfectly platonic relationships their girlfriends have with other men.
Unfortunately, all that Patriot McClernon got for his brave deeds was a felony charge of aggravated battery with a gun and two misdemeanor charges for using a firearm while under the influence of alcoholic beverages and culpable negligence. Unfortunately for the Obama Collective, all that we got out of this was a reminder of why we need to fight every moment of every day to protect the rights of small penised White men to have any gun at any time with no restrictions.
Broward deputy indicted and jailed in off-duty shooting
Hey, we warned you it was just a matter of time until they started confiscating our guns.
Mayday! Mayday! Mayday! Well, fellow NSPA Patriots, the day of reckoning we have warned you about has finally come. An activist judge from the Colorado Tenth Judicial District Court ordered the confiscation of five air rifles, three handguns and three AK 47 rifles on Friday from Jason Lucero, a longstanding member of our Pueblo NSPA chapter.
He used the fact that Patriot Lucero shot a 13-year old boy with a pellet gun while the boy was attempting to steal a few of the 115 marijuana plants growing in the backyard of Patriot Lucero’s father as an excuse to slap a 6 year community corrections sentence on Patriot Lucero. He then used this flimsy conviction as a pretext to confiscate all of the guns Patriot Lucero was keeping in his father’s house.
During the trial, Patriot Lucero clearly explained to the judge that he never intended to hurt the 13-year old boy and that he was surprised as anybody that one of the pellets became lodged between the boy’s heart and liver and injured him. However, when the fix is in, the fix is in, and the judge totally ignored this rational explanation. On top of that the judge had to put on a show and make much of the fact that he was concerned about Patriot Lucero’s previous conviction for cruelty to animals. Like that has anything to do with this case or is any way an indication of emotional instability or anti-social personality traits that could be used as a predictor of future harm that somebody with these traits could do with a gun in his hands.
The facts are simple here. Patriot Lucero was protecting his father from a 13-year old budding drug kingpin who probably is an illegal alien who has developed calf muscles the size of cantaloupes from running drugs from Mexico just like Iowa Congressman Steve King (R!) warned us about and who will be able to become a U.S. citizen thanks to Dictator Obamas’ illegal, unconstitutional amnesty (voter registration) plan!
However, the activist judge saw this was his chance to disarm Patriot Lucero and establish legal precedent to start the process of allowing the government to take all of our guns. The additional sin about all of this is that Patriot Lucero is exactly the type of responsible, intelligent, emotionally secure White man who we and the NRA agree should have unfettered access to AK 47s. Like we said, we warned you that this was coming!
Pellet-gun shooter sentenced to community corrections
There’s a reason the 2015 Subaru Outback has an Insurance Institute For Highway Safety top safety rating, and it’s not Japanese engineering.
It’s the fact that some of its owners are armed and ready on the road!
Alton B. Parker from our Fayetteville NSPA chapter was unaccountably arrested by the hired muscle in the Virginia State Police earlier this week for shooting out a tire of semi-tractor trailer. The State Police hacks are labeling this as a road rage incident in their attempt to justify this miscarriage of justice, but we see through the lies. It all started when Patriot Parker was driving his 2015 Subaru Outback along I-95 in Sussex County, VA (which is a short drive from Washington D.C., we’d like to point out) when we’re sure this truck driver started terrorizing him like that trucker did in that Dennis Weaver movie ‘Duel’
so Patriot Parker had no choice but to keep himself safe by shooting at the semi-truck. Since Sussex County is so close to Washington D.C., we see Dictator Obama’s fingerprints all over this. He sent out his hired muscle in the Virginia State Police to take Patriot Parker off the road because Patriot Parker is exactly the type of proud, well armed, emotionally stable, small penised White man that is capable of standing up to the evil master plan of Dictator Obama and all of his arugula loving Communistic Islamic gun haters to confiscate all of our guns.
Now Patriot Parker sits in jail facing charges of attempted murder in the 2nd degree, use of a firearm in the commission of a felony, shooting from a moving vehicle and maliciously shooting at a moving vehicle. Hell, who even knew there were laws against shooting from a moving vehicle? What happened to America? Oh, I forgot, January 20, 2009 happened.
Well, we here at the NSPA will not rest until Patriot Parker is free and keeping our nation’s highways safe from sociopathic truck drivers.
NC man arrested after allegedly shooting out semi’s tire on I-95 in Sussex
“…forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us,…” Well, truth be told, this is the one verse in the Bible we don’t agree with because it doesn’t recognize our rights to stand our ground.
Robin Duane Boyer from our Turlock NSPA chapter was arrested today as the suspected gunman in the shooting death of a 25 year old man that occurred two years ago. Look, let’s be clear, the young man who died was not some innocent victim. He was known to have trespassed on Patriot Boyer’s property several times so it really should come as no surprise that he ended up with multiple gunshots to his head. If the trespasser had been an ISIS terrorist, Patriot Boyer would be getting at ticker tape parade for killing him. Unfortunately this happened in California so you know Governor Moonbeam has all of his gun hating cronies littered throughout state and local government so there is no chance Patriot Boyer will get a fair trial. However, we will continue to advocate for Patriot Boyer’s case so consider this to be a daily reminder of why we need the NSPA to fight for the rights of gun loving, small penised White men throughout the country.
Suspected gunman arrested 2 years after deadly Turlock shooting
Sure, some of his neighbors said he was a hothead who threatened others, but they’re probably MSNBC viewers who are naturally scared by a proud White man who knows how to handle a gun.
You may have noticed John Marshall from our Fort Myers NSPA chapter in the news tonight because he has made headlines for shooting his neighbor to death and then driving the corpse in a pickup truck to his lawyer’s office approximately 30 miles away. His attorney then presented a perfectly understandable explanation to the media that Patriot Marshall had simply killed his neighbor in self defense. If he had been an emotionally unhinged murderer, he would have left his neighbor’s body in the street for hours rather than give him a ride in his pickup truck.
Some of the liberal trouble makers in the neighborhood, though, are trying to paint Patriot Marshall as a volatile instigator who initiated the confrontation with his neighbor. Not only are they lying about him because he is a gun lover, but they are also surprisingly overlooking the fact that by carpooling with the corpse he is reducing his carbon footprint (thereby combatting global warming, which we think is a farce) because he saved a gas guzzling emergency vehicle from making a separate trip to pick up the corpse to bring it to the county morgue. However, liberals will never give any emotionally well balanced, small penised, conservative White man credit for any of his accomplishments so we really shouldn’t be surprised. This is just another reminder of why we need to continue our work.
Florida man fatally shoots neighbor, puts body in truck bed and drives to attorney’s office: lawyer
Spare the BB gun gunfire, spoil the child. So where’s the crime here?
Joseph F. Majewski from our Weirton NSPA chapter was arrested by the Weirton Police Department last week for the crime of being a father. Patriot Majewski had simply performed his paternal duty of instilling discipline in his three children, aged 6,9 and 13, by shooting them with a BB gun when the nerdy, nebbish, nanny state ninnies from the Hancock County Dept. of Children Services threw a hissy fit and got the police involved. Before he knew it, Patriot Majewski got hit with three counts of child abuse with serious bodily injury and three counts of domestic battery. This is just one more example of the wussification of America in which our Marxist Socialist government is raising a generation of perpetual victims who are terrified of guns. If you connect the dots, the reason for this is that in 25 years we will have a nation of womanly men who don’t know how to hold a gun, which will make it easy for all of Dictator Obama’s Islamic counterparts to march right into America to spread their Caliphate. Don’t say we didn’t warn you. Join the NSPA today!
Weirton Man Arrested After Allegedly Shooting His Kids with a BB Gun
None of this would have happened if his sister hadn’t given him a penis shaped birthday cake.
Christopher Taft from our Holly Hill NSPA chapter was arrested yesterday for shooting his sister in the buttocks after she gave him a penis shaped cake for his birthday as a joke. Luckily for her he only used his bb gun left over from his childhood and did not use a semi automatic assault rifle. However, she certainly learned her lesson never to taunt an NSPA member with a phallus shaped dessert item. This story only illustrates the persecution and racism we small penised White guys continue to face. We are the only minority group now left that people feel comfortable to mock. We want to take back our America and return it to the times when it was perfectly acceptable to mock and discriminate against all of the minority groups!
Fla. man shoots sister in buttocks with BB gun for making him a phallic birthday cake: cops
Fla. man shoots sister in buttocks with BB gun for making him a phallic birthday cake: cops
Jared Boice is a REAL American, not a criminal!
Jared Boice from our Binghamton NSPA chapter was sentenced in Delaware County Court today in the shooting deaths of two Siberian Huskies. In response to all of the gun hating, dog loving liberals who are vilifying Patriot Boice as a monster, we would like to remind them that these were Siberian Huskies, or as written in the language of their homeland, сибирский хаски. Yes, these were communist dogs on our shores so Patriot Boice took a stand and used his gun to put an end to their aggressive threat. If only we could send Patriot Boice and 20 other members of the NSPA to Ukraine, we would have that situation resolved pronto!
Patriot Boice isn’t an effete coward like Dictator Obama who leads from behind when confronting the Russian communistic threat. No, he takes bold action like Vladimir Putin, who we would admire if he weren’t a Communist. It shouldn’t come as a surprise that the Marxist Delaware County Court system colluded with the Obama White House to get Patriot Boice locked up for 24 days and saddled with 3 years probation for his brave deed. Well played Comrade Obama, but we are in this fight for the long haul and we will prevail.
Walton man sentenced in fatal shooting of dogs
Patriot Pecora faces attempted murder charges, while the female “victim” who assaulted him (while he held a gun to her head) faces no charges. Will somebody please tell Patricia Arquette we here at the NSPA will support equal pay for women once women face equal charges for the crimes they commit.
Sidney Pecora from our Baton Rouge NSPA chapter sits in EBR Parish Prison tonight for attempted murder, false imprisonment, illegal use of a weapon, aggravated assault with a weapon, unlawful possession of body armor, domestic abuse battery possession of Schedule III drugs and possession of a firearm with a controlled dangerous substance after things got a little out of hand after he had a little tiff with a female visitor to his apartment. Hey, even the happiest of married couples have arguments every now and then.
Well, things started to get a little heated, and the female visitor wouldn’t listen to Patriot Pecora’s attempts to calm her down so he simply put his gun to her head to get her to pipe down. She violently slapped his hand holding the gun, which caused the gun to fire a bullet into the ceiling. Realizing that he had a real hellcat on his hands, he pointed the gun back at her because he recognized that his safety was in jeopardy. She was by then clearly hysterical, as only a woman can be, and violently slapped at his hand again, causing the gun to discharge another bullet into the ceiling.
After the obviously disturbed woman escaped from the apartment, she ran to the police and cried and batted her eyelashes like Scarlett O’Hara and portrayed herself as a helpless victim. The police fell for the act just like Ashley Wilkes did and went rushing to Patriot Pecora’s apartment where they found him in his totally macho full body armor, an accessory only owned by any self respecting member of the NSPA. Before you know it, they slap all of these charges on him, and they don’t give her a single charge for assaulting him and causing the gun to discharge two times. The story only underscores the harsh reality that White men face a double standard and are treated like second class citizens by a morally corrupt legal system. We’ve got a long way to go, baby!
Baker Man Arrested for Attempted Murder
N.S.P.A + S.W.A.T. = A SAFE AMERICA!
There are a lot of liberal gun hating zealots (hello, Mother Jones Magazine, we’re watching you) who cry like Chicken Little that police departments across America are becoming overly militarized and that SWAT teams are now routinely being inappropriately dispatched to intervene in low stakes assignments that would be more effectively handled by regular patrol officers. They are the same finger pointing window watchers who are the first in line to bash police departments when on occasion a citizen dies unnecessarily at the hands of a SWAT team just doing its job. (Like they never make mistakes at their jobs, YEAH RIGHT!)
We here at the NSPA love the dangerously irresponsible usage of poorly supervised, macho, swaggering SWAT teams because we understand the surge of pride and sense of self security that comes from being cartoonishly overly equipped and storming into confrontations with unarmed people who pose no imminent threat.
This is why we proudly stand behind Lt. Earl Barnes, the SWAT team commander with the Smyrna Police Department in Smyrna, TN. Patriot Barnes also just happens to be a member of the Smyrna NSPA chapter. He has been in the news recently because his department issued Glock Model 22 .40 caliber pistol fell out of its holster and discharged when he sat down to tie his shoes while he was on duty to provide security at a Smyrna Town Council workshop at the Smyrna Town Hall Thursday night. Big deal, the bullets only went into the lobby carpet, and we’ve heard that carpet was shabby and needed to be replaced anyway.
Sure enough, the haters have been out in too much force to ridicule Patriot Barnes and to question if this is somebody who should have the responsibility to command a SWAT team. These people will only be happy if Patriot Barnes is stripped of his gun and never again assigned to provide security at the Smyrna Town Hall. If this happens, we want to know what they will say if ISIS shows up to execute the Smyrna Town Council and then institutes Sharia law. Our guess is that they’ll be the first people to speed dial 911 to beg for the SWAT team to hurry up and rescue their unarmed rear ends!
SWAT commander misfires gun into carpet at Smyrna Town Hall
The Making Of The Warrior Cop
This is the face of the future of The National Small Penis Association.
Christopher Lee Yourkwitz from our Kelso NSPA chapter may be sitting in the Cowitz County jail for shooting his roommate last night after a heated argument, but we are not the least bit worried about his fate because we are sure this will all be cleared up once the authorities realize it was nothing more than an accidental shooting. Sure, Patriot Yourkwitz may have grabbed for his gun as the argument with his roommate escalated, but we are certain he was simply planning to secure it in a handgun lockbox to prevent it from being used when it slipped out of his hand and discharged.
We are excited about the opportunity the media attention from this case brings to us because, much like Tim Conaster in yesterday’s post, Patriot Yourkwitz provides us a chance to connect with a youthful audience that will help grow the NSPA. Our social media consultant told us today that Patriot Yourkwitz’s cool tattoos will help us connect with micropenised millennials who have lots of tattoos and piercings. Patriot Yourkwitz is exactly the type of emotionally well balanced, cool, question authority, gun loving White guy who can make the NSPA accessible to confused, small penised young men who are struggling to come to terms with their identities. This is the proud future of the NSPA.
Kelso man wanted for shooting roommate has turned himself in
What is everybody getting all worked up about? Everybody knows that All Dogs Go To Heaven.
Well, the liberal, gun hating media jackals have bared their teeth and are out for the blood of Tim Conaster from our Royce City NSPA chapter after he stood his ground and shot and killed two dogs that had strayed onto his property. We don’t see anything wrong with him proudly posting a picture of his two kills on his Facebook page because he is just the kind of social media savvy, hip type of White guy we want in the NSPA to get our message out to a wider audience.
Just look at that cool selfie he posted on his Facebook page. The media consultant we just hired told us it is content like that selfie that will make the NSPA website “sticky” with all of the cool millennials who we need to attract to grow our membership. Patriot Conaster gives us the chance to make our message that White guys with guns are cool go viral.
Besides, all of the liberal haters who are calling for Patriot Conaster’s head are missing the point that he was justified to protect the sanctity of his property rights. We advocate for the spirit of rugged individuals who are always within their rights to defend their property at all costs, unless of course TransCanada wants their property to build the Keystone XL pipeline. That’s different because Lou Dobbs says it’s a good idea.
Firefighter Tim Conatser Guns Down Family’s Pets, Posts Death Photo On Facebook
So now Dictator Obama is rounding up Patriots who just have blanks loaded in their guns. So mark our words that it’s just a matter of time until he starts having everybody with a starter’s pistol locked up.
Justin Beaton from our Indianapolis NSPA chapter, and an Indianapolis police officer no less, was arrested Monday by his fellow officers for doing nothing more than shooting a gun loaded with blanks in his girlfriend’s face. First the crybaby liberal gun haters wanted to outlaw hollow tipped bullets, now they apparently want to outlaw blanks. We guess they will next want to outlaw the little red rolls of caps that are loaded into cap guns.
So now it’s a crime to shoot blanks into a woman’s face. It’s not like she died or anything. All that happened was that the gunpowder blast from the blanks knocked out three of her teeth, fractured her nose and broke her jaw. Hey, accidents happen.
Also, Patriot Beaton must be a great boyfriend because she backed up his initial account to the police that her injuries occurred when a bed frame he was moving slipped from his hands and hit her in the face. It’s not like she would have lied because she was scared of him. Then the police kept on harassing her until she told them that Patriot Beaton began drinking earlier in the day and then bought a new gun at a gun show. While he was showing it off to her, the gun went off. That’s how she got the aforementioned scrapes and bruises on her face.
Not only do we now have a brave, small penised White man who loves guns locked up in jail, we now have no way to know how track meets will be held. Just another day in Dictator Obama’s America.
Indianapolis cop charged with attempted murder for firing blanks at girlfriend’s face
It wasn’t Patriot Pope’s fault. It was Michelle Obama’s fault!
Edward Pope of our Virginia Beach NSPA chapter was arrested for involuntary manslaughter earlier this month after he accidentally shot and killed a friend while proudly (understandably) showing off his gun in the parking lot of the bowling alley where his friend worked. What burns us up so much about this injustice is that Michelle Obama, the real culprit here, is not facing any consequences for her actions that led to this accident.
See, here’s what we figure happened. Patriot Pope is one of those good guys with a gun, responsible gun owners we and our friends at the NRA always talk about so there is no way he could have carelessly caused the death of a 22 year old young man. On top of that, we’re sure he had gotten sick with Michelle Obama, First Lady of the Nanny State of America, trying to dictate how we eat by forcing healthy foods upon us.
Therefore, we’re guessing that Patriot Pope took a stand toward taking our country back and ordered french fries, onion rings, cheese sticks and fried chicken strips at the bowling alley snack counter as a way to show Michelle Obama that she couldn’t force him to eat carrot sticks and broccoli florets. After this justifiable act of defiance, his hands must have been so greasy that his gun must have slipped in his hand, causing him to press the trigger by accident which caused a bullet to enter his friend and end his life. If Michelle Obama had simply kept her mouth shut about nutrition, none of this would have ever happened.
Police: Man accidentally shot friend outside bowling alley
Okay, he may have shot the sheriff, his ex-wife and his ex-wife’s boyfriend, but we are not so sure that he shot the deputy so let’s not rush to judgment here.
Unfortunately Anthony Giaquinta a former K9 officer from our Habersham County NSPA chapter is no longer alive anymore after what you might call a little incident in which he returned to the home he used to share with his ex-wife and shot her and her boyfriend. So they happened to die in what was probably an accidental shooting, and then the Habersham County Sheriff and his deputy showed up with guns drawn. Then there was another accidental shooting in which the sheriff and deputy were shot and injured. Patriot Giaquinta then knew that the gun hating liberals in Habersham County, Georgia wouldn’t believe the accidental nature of the multiple shootings and would railroad him all the way to prison so he committed suicide with his beloved gun.
Now the Georgia Bureau of Investigation is nosing around the house to document what exactly happened, and we hope they look closely at how the deputy got shot. Our guess is that the Sheriff accidentally shot the deputy in the cross fire. Leave it to the liberal media in Georgia, though, to jump to the conclusion that Patriot Giaquinta shot everybody on the scene. The tragedy is that we now have one less brave, small penised White man who loves guns to protect us from our government.
Ex-Habersham County deputy shot ex-wife, boyfriend
We have finally found a case of a police shooting that is worth protesting.
Well, we’re just waiting to see if Rev. Al Sharpton will join our protests over the police shooting of Kyle Dodds from our Bellevue NSPA chapter. * Last night the Bellevue police responded to an overblown domestic violence call, probably made by a man hating feminist, at Patriot Dodd’s home and before you knew it there were 8 (yes, count them, 8) cruisers outside his house. The police irresponsibly escalated the situation by drawing their guns even though Patriot Dodds was only standing at his front doorway highly intoxicated and brandishing a gun. (The last time we checked it was perfectly legal to have a gun in your home, but with Dictator Obama calling the shots we’re only one Executive Order away from that changing.)
Then, shockingly, the police overreacted and started shooting Patriot Dodds when all he did was raise his gun and point it at them. Thankfully Patriot Dodds survived the shooting and was released from the hospital, but the brutes in the Bellevue police department carted him right away to jail.
This is where our work starts. We are planning street protests in Bellevue because we demand to know why the police can get away with shooting a proud White man who had a gun and presented no threat to his family or community. What makes us just as angry is the fact that the police wasted their time harassing Patriot Dodds when we are sure that there were plenty of unarmed young black men prowling the streets of Bellevue.
*Note to all of the liberal trolls who visit this site: We are being sarcastic about waiting to see if Rev. Sharpton will join us!
Bellevue police investigate officer-involved shooting
“Dude, I think I just shot someone.” (We think that would be a good title for the greatest Ashton Kutcher movie ever. Ashton, if you see this, please e-mail us so we can get this in development now that Two And A Half Men is done.)
Matthew Davis from our North Pole NSPA chapter was arraigned at the Fairbanks Correctional Center yesterday for allegedly shooting and killing the boyfriend of a Fairbanks woman who we are sure drove him to this alleged act by spurning his advances toward her. We would be willing to bet the balance of our NSPA corporate savings account that the woman is a snooty feminist who is only attracted to effeminate, easily manipulated men.
Patriot Davis had given her fair notice in a considerate text message that he would come to her house to shoot her boyfriend if she failed to respond to his messages. Well, she selfishly didn’t reply to the message, and one thing led to another and her boyfriend got shot in her house. (It’s not like she hadn’t been warned.)
Patriot Davis then called his brother and said, “Dude, I think I just shot someone.” Reports say Patriot Davis was in hysterics and cried uncontrollably as his brother accompanied him to the police department to turn himself in. Sure, he may have been a little bit emotionally out of control, but it is important to put his behavior in the context that a harlot had gotten control of his mind and emotions. Otherwise, Patriot Davis is exactly the type of emotionally secure and stable good guy with a gun who we want walking freely on the streets with concealed weapons to keep us safe from emotionally unstable bad guys with guns who are capable of killing totally innocent people who are simply trying to live their lives. Hopefully the jury will do the right thing and find him not guilty by reason of insanity caused by the machinations of a cruel, imperious woman.
Man arraigned after allegedly shooting a man to death in North Pole
So when did it become a federal crime to shoot and kill a whale?
Daniel Archibald from our Cape May NSPA chapter was hauled into Newark federal court yesterday to turn himself in for violating the Marine Mammal Protection Act after being hounded by federal officials for shooting a pilot whale in New Jersey fishing waters.
This is wrong on so many counts. First, what is more manly than shooting and killing a whale? Only a government that hates virile, manly, totally heterosexual White men who prove their manliness by using guns to kill beautiful creatures could have a law like this on the books. Second, only a non Christian government that doesn’t know the Bible and is ignorant of the dangers that a whale posed to Jonah could have a law like this on the books. Hmmm, a non Christian government that hates manly White men who love guns…Oh that’s right, we live in Dictator Obama’s America. How could we have forgotten? #thenightmarecontinues
New Jersey fisherman arrested in 2011 shooting death of pilot whale after intense federal investigation
The real crime was how the police treated Michael Hemphill the night they arrested him for an obviously accidental shooting. Just look at how they left him handcuffed on the street for half an hour. We’d like to know why the Michael Brown protestors didn’t say peep about this.
Michael Hemphill from our Escondido NSPA chapter was in court yesterday for opening statements in his trial for the accidental shooting death of a friend who died after he startled Patriot Hemphill, who just happened to be carrying his .45 caliber 1911 Essex Arms Corp semi-automatic pistol, when he approached Patriot Hemphill to report that he was being evicted from his trailer for nonpayment of his rent and his unstable behavior. Patriot Hemphill’s defense attorney has made the compelling case that the friend startled the gun toting Patriot Hemphill and caused him to flinch, which caused him to accidentally press his finger against the trigger, which caused the gun to discharge just as the friend happened to be standing in the path of the bullets that left the barrel of Patriot Hemphill’s gun, which caused the friend to die.
However, there should be no big surprise that the gun hating prosecutor had a different spin on what happed and is trying to get the jury to believe that this was not an accidental shooting and that Patriot Hemphill should be held accountable for killing his friend with a gun. Oh, I forgot to mention that the dead friend’s last name was Sanchez, so you can see where this is going. There’s nothing easier to do nowadays than to make a good White guy with a gun look like a predatory monster who preys on defenseless minorities because that’s the big lie the liberal media loves to tell.
Startled trigger finger to blame
The likelihood that he will get a fair trial is about the same likelihood that I will someday care about women’s college basketball.
Here we go again. On Monday Samuel Sallee from our Waynseville NSPA chapter faced the first day of his murder trial for the shooting deaths of four victims. The crooked prosecutor pieced together a purely circumstantial case against Patriot Sallee as detailed in the article we have linked below. Of course we know Patriot Sallee is being set up to get another manly White man who knows how to handle a gun locked up in jail so there will be one less Patriot to stand up to Dictator Obama when he begins confiscating our guns.
However, we still want to make sure justice is done on behalf of the four victims who were all shot in the head. We think that Patriot Sallee is being set up to take the fall for the real killer because of a physical resemblance, and we would like to know where New York City fashion icon Iris Apfel was on the night of the murders.
If the authorities follow up on this lead, they might just catch the real murderer.
Victim’s son in Sallee murder trial testifies
We’re sure that some liberal activist hacked his Twitter account. Leave it to the busybodies at the Brady Campaign and Center to Prevent Gun Violence to get hysterical and blow it all out of proportion.
David Lenio from our Kalispell NSPA chapter sits in jail tonight facing two felony charges on intimidation and malicious intimidation for making online threats of violence and possible federal criminal charges. See, somebody clearly hacked his Twitter account and tweeted over one hundred tweets threatening to shoot and kill 30 grade school children, a rabbi and an unnamed Jewish leader. The hacker also tweeted his wish to shoot up a synagogue and called for a Hitler to rise to power in America to fix the country’s problems. Sure enough there was a busybody from the Brady Campaign and Center to Prevent Gun Violence (who must not have anything better to do than troll Twitter all day long) who fell hook, line and sinker for these obviously bogus tweets. So he went all hysterical (just like your typical liberal) and overreacted by contacting the FBI.
The FBI fell for it as well and raided Patriot Lenio’s apartment where they found a handgun and two shotguns. So sure enough, at the behest of Dictator Obama, they arrested him. As a result, there is now one less good guy with a gun to keep us safe from unarmed young black men who might be walking through our neighborhoods at any moment.
We’re sure that his wife must have been making taunting comments to him which led to the domestic incident which led her to get shot by his gun which led the sheriff’s department to show up which led him to barricade himself in his house which led him to use his assault rifle in a shoot out which led to the authorities dragging him to jail which led him to face life in prison now. As for his wife, who we are sure started this whole chain of events, she’s resting comfortably and being pampered in a hospital. Yeah, that sounds real fair…NOT!
George Smith Jr. from our Warsaw NSPA chapter now sits in jail with the prospect of a lifetime in prison hanging over his head. This stems from a little domestic altercation which started with his wife getting in the way of multiple bullets fired from his gun and ended with him standing his ground in a barricaded shoot out with the liberal gun haters from the Benton County Sheriff’s Department.
While his wife is being coddled in the local hospital and Patriot Smith sits in jail, we would like to take a closer look at her role in all of this. Though we weren’t there, we’re pretty sure this all started with her taunting him by saying something like, “George, you look like the offspring that would be born if Jimmy Fallon and Donald Sutherland were able to produce a baby after having steamy, gay sexual intercourse.” In the face of such a homosexual tinged taunt targeting his manhood, what option would Patriot Smith have had except to get his gun out to assert his self esteem? However, since we’re living in Obama’s America, Patriot Smith’s wife can rest well because she will never face any accountability for her role in this.
Man surrenders after 3.5-hour standoff, shootout with officers
The soul patch alone should tell you that he didn’t shoot and kill his wife.
On Thursday the Porter County Sheriff’s Department arrested Steven Lindsey from our Chesterton NSPA chapter for shooting and killing his wife in their home. The liberal propagandists at The Chicago Tribune tried to paint Patriot Lindsey as an emotionally insecure, manipulative, domineering, calculating, irresponsible loser who hatched an amazingly incompetent murder cover up in an attempt to collect $1,100,000 on his wife’s life insurance policy.
The truth is that Patriot Lindsey is a proud, small penised White man who has been framed in an obvious attempt to get him locked up so he will be unable to join the fight against our government when they come to collect our guns. See, here’s something to keep in mind. Though Porter County is in Indiana, it is considered to be part of the Chicago Metropolitan area. Hello, do we need to spell it out for you? Chicago Metropolitan area…the Dictator Obama machine….We hope this makes it clear why there is a need for the NSPA and why we will fight to bring Patriot Lindsey to feedom! We will never leave any of our own on the battlefield.
Husband charged in wife’s shooting death
NOW That’s What I Call A White Guy! Vol. 2
On Thursday a Mahoning County grand jury indicted Anthony Magrini from our Boardman NSPA chapter on 4 charges related to an incident in which his gun happened to discharge by his ex-girlfriend and her new boyfriend. We are sure that the county prosecutor’s office (should it be any surprise that Mahoning County is a Democratic stronghold in Ohio?) withheld from the grand jury critical information that puts what happened in an understandable context.
See, Patriot Magrini was waiting outside of the apartment of his ex-girlfriend’s new boyfriend one night. We are sure that Patriot Magrini was just being a gentleman and wanted to make sure the new boyfriend was treating her properly. However, when she and her new boyfriend exited the apartment and walked across the parking lot, she looked over to Patriot Magrini and flashed him a middle finger before getting in her new boyfriend’s car and driving away.
Patriot Magrini followed them in his car to be able to help in case they got a flat tire or something. When both cars stopped at an intersection, she got out of her car and yelled at him to leave them alone. When Patriot Magrini got out of his car to calm her down, his gun must have fallen out of his coat pocket, or something like that, and discharged when it hit the ground.
Well, sure enough the Mahoning County Democratic Party machine went into action and ensnared Patriot Magrini in their corrupt web with these trumped up charges. This is yet another reminder of why we must continue our work to provide a voice on behalf of all of the persecuted small penised White men who love guns here in America!
Boardman man charged in shooting incident
Being a small penised White man who loves guns is just like love because it means never having to say you’re sorry!
On Monday Conrad Mark Truman from our Provo NSPA chapter was given a sentence of 15 years to life in prison for shooting and killing his wife (which he obviously didn’t do). We are so proud of Patriot Truman because he refused to apologize at the sentencing to his deceased wife’s family because he didn’t kill her. As he explained in his eloquent 30 minute statement to the court, he couldn’t be expected to apologize for her choosing to commit suicide by shooting herself in the head, which is what really happened no matter what the jury said.
Sure the haters have been saying that this picture of him in court shows a sociopath gloating with a smug smile to taunt his deceased wife’s family, but they say this because they are liberal non-Christians. If they were Christians, they would know he is smiling because he knows his wife is no longer suffering from whatever torment drove her to suicide, and she is now sitting next to the throne of Jesus Christ.
Sure the prosecutor made much of Patriot Truman’s confused explanations about what exactly happened prior to his wife’s death when they were the only two people in the house, the fact that he was going to collect on her $878,000 life insurance policy and his refusal to cooperate with the detectives who were investigating the case. The prosecutor needed to tell these lies because lying is what prosecutors do whenever a proud NSPA member is on trial. See, that order comes straight from Big Boss Obama.
Thankfully Patriot Truman has announced he will appeal and will continue to fight to overturn this gross injustice. We will keep you posted.
NOW That’s What I Call A White Guy! Vol. 1
Andrew Keiffer from our West Sparta NSPA chapter has been a rising star in our organization for some time. Not only is he a member of the Republican Committee for West Sparta, he is also the leader of the Livingston County Tea Party. With credentials like these it should come as no surprise that the Michael Bloomberg funded gun haters who are trying to foist their Sharia like law upon us have conspired against him.
The liberal haters have set a pre trial hearing for June 16 for Patriot Keiffer in regard to the baseless accusations that he shot and killed a neighbor’s dog, critically injured another of the neighbor’s dogs and that he planted bullets in the dead bodies of his fiancée’s goats to make it look like somebody else shot them. Really, folks, does Patriot Keiffer look like the type of man who could take sadistic pleasure in causing a defenseless creature to experience pain and suffering?
Please, we know what is really going on here. Dictator Obama wants to get this epitome of gun loving, small penised White manhood off the streets and locked up in jail so he can’t continue to perform his important work to take this country back. Rest assured that we will get the truth out about this case to make sure Patriot Keiffer goes free so he can push the Tea Party agenda to save our country. We will keep you posted on his status.
Clock Ticks Towards Trial in Keiffer Dog Killing Case
He was simply standing his ground on behalf of his car.
Craig Hicks from our Chapel Hill NSPA chapter has been all over the news today for shooting and killing three of his neighbors. Now the liberal, Muslim sympathizing media is trying to make much of the fact that the three neighbors were Muslims. What else would you expect by a media controlled by our Muslim Dictator Obama? However, religion had nothing to do with this. No, this was about a proud, small penised White man who had to defend his parking space and, by extension, his manhood from his three neighbors, who just happened to be Muslim, who didn’t respect the sanctity of his parking space. If we don’t defend our parking spaces from them, we only embolden them to keep encroaching on our liberty. Next thing you know, and they will be taking over our court systems.
Thankfully, Patriot Hicks loved guns so he was able to protect himself from these three students, and this is why we are so thankful of North Carolina’s Republican governor Pat McCrory, Republican state House and Republican state Senate and their efforts that got concealed carry legislation enacted two years ago. With this legislation, small penised Patriots throughout North Carolina feel emboldened to carry their guns at all times to defend their liberty, which sometimes just happens to be threatened by sweet natured, unarmed Muslims.
Chapel Hill Shooting Leaves 3 Muslim Students Dead; Neighbor Is Charged
Look, he was being the responsible one, but he still ends up being charged with attempted murder and discharging firearm in occupied dwelling.
Dewey Lee Paris from our DeKalb County NSPA chapter asked a friend last night to drive him on a beer run because he knew he was a little too drunk to drive. Patriot Paris was clearly being responsible by not getting behind the wheel, but his selfish friend (if that’s what you want to call him) refused to give him a ride. So understandably Patriot Paris responded by striking his friend in the face with his handgun and then held him against his will for a half hour. When the friend broke free and ran away, Patriot Paris shot him in the hip.
Well, the liberal gun haters with the Crossville Police Department, who probably want a lot of drunk drivers on the road so they can rack up their traffic ticket quotas, hysterically overreacted and arrested Patriot Paris. Again, this is all part of Dictator Obama’s master plan to get as many well armed, small penised white Patriots as possible off the battlefield. We’re onto the plan, though, and we will continue to fight against it every day to make sure every small penised White man who has self esteem issues has unfettered access to any gun at any time.
Man shot after beer run argument
If there is anything we can learn from this murder-suicide shooting incident, it’s the need for tort reform!
Richard Albert Nielsen, formerly a member of our Monkey Junction (yes, that’s the name of the city) NSPA chapter, has been in the news recently because Friday he shot and killed a 39 year old man, shot and critically injured a 29 year old pregnant woman and caused the death of the fetus she was carrying before turning his gun on himself to commit suicide.
Patriot Nielsen legally purchased the handgun used in the shooting one hour before the incident so sure enough the liberal media is trying to make this a story about an emotionally immature, unstable old white guy who senselessly used a gun in an act of grossly disproportionate rage over a minor, easily manageable dispute.
When you dig just a little deeper you see what a lie that is. See, Patriot Nielsen had no choice but to lash out after facing potential criminal responsibility over a botched business transaction involving landscaping equipment and a generator worth $4,000. If it weren’t for out of control trial lawyers creating a tyrannical judicial system that stymies business growth and entrepreneurship, Patriot Nielsen would never have had anything to worry about. So, no, this isn’t really a story about senseless, gun fueled murder. This is really a story about the need to enact meaningful tort reform, just like John Stossel has been saying all along.
Business dispute led to double murder-suicide; unborn child among victims
Our longtime buddy Charles Cotton, NRA board member, said that hitting a child ‘may keep me from having to put a bullet in him later.’ We couldn’t agree more, and we have a brilliant idea (if we can pat ourselves on our backs) to take this one step further.
We can’t describe how proud we were when our longtime ally Charles Cotton from the NRA posted an argument on TexasCHLForum.com (the second greatest website on the internet) against a proposed Texas law to prohibit corporal punishment in Texas schools. He wrote, “I’m sick of this woman and her ‘don’t touch my kid regardless what he/she did or will do again’ attitude. Perhaps a good paddling in school may keep me from having to put a bullet in him later.”
While we wholeheartedly support this position and would never try to upstage Patriot Cotton, we would like to suggest how to take this idea to its next logical extension. We propose paddling fetuses once they can feel pain (20 weeks after conception) to instill a sense of fear and obedience towards their parents. This way we will be able to avoid beating their children to avoid shooting them later. We have already begun discussions with the Family Research Council to develop a device to insert into a woman’s private area to paddle the fetuses. We will be very careful to avoid killing the fetuses because we believe in the sacredness of all life (except for unarmed young black men who tap into our insecurities and leave us feeling so threatened that we have no choice except to shoot them after we initiate totally unprovoked confrontations). All we want to do is instill fear and submission in these fetuses because we are good Christians.
NRA board member states corporal punishment ‘may keep me from having to put a bullet in him later’
Who cares about the Baseball Hall of Fame? The Small Penis Hall of Fame is where Chipper Jones really belongs!
Former Atlanta Braves superstar Chipper Jones was always our favorite baseball player in his day, and we always felt he was the greatest Braves player ever (we always thought that fella Hank Aaron was overrated). Since he retired in 2012, we have been preparing for the party we will throw in 2018 when there is no question he will be inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame in his first year of eligibility.
However, we now have even bigger plans. After Patriot Jones posted a tweet on his Twitter account Friday night to announce the truth that the Sandy Hook shootings were a hoax staged by the government to trick the American public into accepting strict gun control legislation, we got the idea to start our own hall of fame, The Small Penis Hall of Fame. It should come as no surprise that Patriot Jones will be a charter member. We will keep you posted on the progress for this Hall.
Meanwhile, it is no big surprise that the liberal media, which has an inability to deal with the truth, got in a snit fit over Patriot Jones’ post and riled up all of the ignorant, low information sheep in the public to hurl their hate at Patriot Jones for telling the truth. This never would have happened if Mitt Romney had been elected President.
We want Patriot Jones to know that the NSPA has his back. He is a small penised White man, who was real good at using a stick of wood to hit a ball and who loves guns. He represents what it means to be a real man!
A well regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed.
A well regulated militia also being necessary to protect us from being bothered by a little puppy dog after having a long week.
Dictator Obama’s henchmen with the Miami-Dade Police arrested Scott Hargraves from our Miami NSPA chapter on trumped up animal cruelty charges for shooting his 10 month old Labrador Retriever puppy in the head. At the time of his arrest, Patriot Hargraves offered the police the perfectly reasonable explanation that he killed his dog because he had a long week and was tired of all the animals in his house. However, Dictator Obama and his cronies don’t believe in the 2nd Amendment and want to clear all well armed, small penised White patriots from the streets of Miami so the communist hordes can have a free pass to march into Miami now that Obama has publicly revealed his friendship with the Castro brothers. Therefore, we guess Patriot Hargraves’ fate is sealed so we must continue our fight so no small penised White man is ever again arrested for shooting a puppy dog in the head.
Police: Homestead man shoots puppy in the head
Look, what is so complicated? He told the jury he didn’t intend to shoot the guy in the chest.
Jess Bowman from our Casco County NSPA chapter testified in court today that he had not intended to shoot his trailer park neighbor through the heart. “I didn’t mean to shoot him in the chest,” Bowman said. “… I tried to get his shoulder and I got him where I got him.” To those gun hating liberals who have never actually held a gun, this is what we call a warning shot. So he missed his target by a couple of inches, but we guess in Obama’s America that counts as a felony. On top of that, Patriot Bowman had every right to initiate the confrontation because his neighbor left broken glass on the road by Patriot Bowman’s trailer after trying to load an old refrigerator onto his truck.
If you ask us, leaving an old refrigerator lying around, which some kid could climb into while playing hide and seek and suffocate, is much more dangerous than bringing a gun out while confronting a neighbor over a small stakes squabble. However, guess which action gets you hauled in front of a judge on a murder charge?
Jess Bowman: Casco shooting was ‘horrible’
Kory Watkins is the coolest small penised White man you will ever meet. He’s kind of like Matt Drudge meets a young John Stossel (unfortunately without the badass mustache).
Kory Watkins, President of the Fort Worth NSPA chapter and a proud spokesman for Open Carry Tarrant County, made a bold stand in the civil rights fight for small penised White men in Texas who desperately want to bolster their self esteem by being able to carry guns openly in Texas. He posted a video on Youtube the other day to provide a helpful reminder to Texas legislators about the importance of passing open carry legislation in which he said, “We should be demanding these people give us our rights back, or it’s punishable by death. Treason. Do you understand how serious this is, Texas?”
Of course the swishy liberal ninnies in Texas got all bent out of shape over this and accused him of threatening Texas legislators who oppose the legislation. Once again liberals reveal themselves as the only people who will distort the truth to advance their agenda. Thankfully Patriot Watkins won’t back down and continues the fight for Open Carry Texas so small penised White men in Texas can strut around with their big guns hanging down from their hips for everyone to see.
Open Carry Gun Rights Activist’s Video Alarms Texas Lawmakers
Don’t think of it as a murder. Think of it as a ‘failure to let go.’
Since he was in one of those liberal, gun hating Allegheny County, Pennsylvania courts, David Edick from our Brookline NSPA chapter had no choice but to plead guilty to shooting and killing his ex-wife’s new boyfriend because he knew he had no chance of getting a fair trial. The County Deputy District Attorney said it was Patriot Edick’s ‘failure to let go’ that led to the shooting, and this was one of the rare times we kind of believed something that a prosecutor said. Patriot Edick is not some emotionally stunted White man who used a gun to vent his self pitying, selfish rage at an innocent victim. No, he is a sensitive, misunderstood, oppressed White man who shouldn’t have been expected just to sit idly by as his ex-wife carried on with her life and developed a new relationship. If she hadn’t taunted him by living as a happy, independent, well adjusted woman, he never would have been pushed to the point that he had no choice except to shoot and kill her new boyfriend. Unfortunately he was stuck in a crooked court system so he is being sent away for 40 years.
On a related note, Patriot Edick’s case has prompted us to expand our Bad Haircut Reclamation fund (first announced 1/24/2015) to include a Hipster Beard Removal service. Not only does he have a hipster beard, but we’ve got to admit he annoyed us a little bit by also going the hipster route by using a World W I-era revolver in the shooting and killing. If he had consulted with us, we would have steered him toward a Mateba Unica semi-auto action revolver. If you ask us, the World War I-era revolver was just a little too precious, but you know how hipsters are.
Pa. man, 28, gets 40 years for fatally shooting ex-wife’s new beau: ‘Failure to let go’
You and me and my gun makes three. Please keep in mind that three’s a crowd!
We here at the NSPA main office are sure that Cody Lon Smith from our Cedar Point NSPA chapter must have let his wife know at some point during their marriage that she would have to make room for him and his gun in their relationship before he accidentally shot and killed her in their bed Saturday night. When the Kerr County Sheriff arrived to Patriot Smith’s house Saturday night after getting a report of the shooting, Patriot Smith had the perfectly plausible explanation that he sleeps with his gun and that the gun accidentally discharged when he tried to remove it from underneath his wife after she rolled on top of it while she was asleep. See, he was actually trying to protect her. Since when did trying to protect your wife become a 1st degree felony? My guess is that it happened 1/20/2009, the day Dictator Obama was first inaugurated into office.
The Kerr County Sheriff said he did not find the story believable so Patriot Smith now sits in jail. Well, the Sheriff didn’t believe the story because he is culturally insensitive and does not understand that there are some proud White men who love guns and share their beds with them. This is yet another example of why the NSPA has so much work to do to end the societal oppression of white Patriots who have small penises and love guns.
Sheriff: Man who slept with gun said spouse’s slaying was accidental
Patriot Buterbaugh shouldn’t have been on trial. The FOOD STAMP HANDER OUTER IN CHIEF Obama should have been on trial.
James Buterbaugh from our Indiana, PA NSPA chapter is being forced off the battlefield by the corrupt, gun hating judicial system in Pennsylvania. A Marxist Indiana County Court judge sentenced Patriot Buterbaugh on Friday to 4 1/2 to 10 years in prison for shooting and killing a long time friend over a plate of food. Patriot Buterbaugh became incensed when he discovered his mother had prepared a plate of food for his friend, who he said was always “mooching” off other people.
So Patriot Buterbaugh decided enough was enough after seeing a culture of mooching being forced on us by Dictator Obama, as our spiritual hero Newt Gingrich has repeatedly pointed out, and he decided it was time to stand his ground. Though we here at the NSPA main office understand the rationale behind his actions, we are sadly not calling the shots. That is why we must continue our work so someday small penised Patriots aren’t harassed by the courts, which will be busy sending Dictator Obama and his kind to jail for handing out so many food stamps and prompting Patriots to shoot people who their mothers have given food to.
Man gets 4½ to 10 years in shooting death over food
What was Patriot Fowler to do with a “thug” (you know what we mean) living in his house? Oh, right, we forgot for a moment that we are living in Obama’s America so of course Patriot Fowler is facing charges.
Todd Fowler from our Ashland NSPA chapter was arrested yesterday for shooting his daughter’s boyfriend who was living with her and two minors in Patriot Fowler’s house. Patriot Fowler shot him three times, which is understandable considering how difficult it can be to live in a crowded house, particularly if you have an undesirable type in that crowd. As Patriot Fowler said as the police were putting him in the cruiser, “This is what happens when you let a thug into your home. Accidents happen.” We couldn’t have said it any better ourselves!
Arrest Made in Ashland Shooting; Names Released
“We could’ve taken every gun, every weapon that that individual had out of the house told him to not possess a firearm, not go around a firearm, but in fact if he is bent on doing harm to someone then they’re going to obtain a weapon,” Newman said.
Kevin Palmer, formerly a charter member of our Glade Spring NSPA chapter, had a kerfuffle with the law last year when he shot and killed his wife, son and mother in law. Hey, so things got a little out of hand, but we would like to remind all of the gun haters who disparage Patriot Palmer of a little book called THE BIBLE that they have never gotten around to reading because they’ve been too busy reading ‘Das Kapital’ by Karl Marx or ‘The Audacity of Hope’ by Dictator Obama. We want them to be aware of THE BIBLE so they could learn a little something about forgiveness as in the verse below:
For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
Instead of forgiving Patriot Palmer, the haters, led by Patriot Palmer’s dead wife’s sister, threw a temper tantrum yesterday at the Virginia State Capitol to try to harass the General Assembly into passing a bill to take away gun rights for people convicted of a violent misdemeanor. See, Patriot Palmer had a few minor run ins with the law for assault and battery before this incident. Thankfully the Republican dominated Virginia House of Delegates know their Bible and the Communistic futility of any laws restricting access for any guns for anybody at any time and voted down the ridiculous proposed law.
As Washington County Sheriff Fred Newman said in the quote at the top of this post, gun laws won’t stop a proud, small penised, White Patriot from getting a gun so, screw it, why bother wasting time by even proposing any such stupid laws.
Sister pleads for law change one year after family’s murder
It wasn’t Windell’s fault. It was liberal Hollywood’s fault.
We’ve lost another one. On Monday the liberal activist judge from the Jasper County Circuit Court sentenced Windell Daniels from our Joplin NSPA chapter to seven years in prison for accidentally shooting and killing a 22 year old woman at a belated birthday party being held in her honor. However, thanks to Dictator Obama the real criminals, the Hollywood liberal elitists, were never hauled into court to be held accountable for what happened.
Everything started out fine at the party when the guests were drinking beer and shooting guns from the porch of the farm house where the party was being held. Then the owner of the house gathered and stored all of the guns and ammunition from the porch and moved the party inside. However, he missed the Sig Sauer that Patriot Daniels brought into the house. Patriot Daniels may have had a few drinks too many so he didn’t realize there were still bullets in the gun. He then started pointing the gun’s laser pointer around the party guests and then let the laser point rest on the 22 year old birthday girl. One thing led to another, he pulled the trigger, and she died. Hey, accidents happen.
Here’s what burns us up. Patriot Daniels never would have done the stunt with the laser pointer if those God damn Godless Hollywood liberals had never made ‘The Terminator.’ After seeing the cyborg Schwarzenegger use the laser pointer on his gun to stalk his prey, name me one movie goer who has been able to resist recreating that scene in some form whenever holding any type of a laser pointer device. Well, you can’t, and you’ve never been able to resist it yourself. So Patriot Daniels isn’t responsible for his actions. No, it’s those Communistic liberal Hollywood bastards who planted the idea in Patriot Daniel’s head who are responsible.
Joplin man draws prison term in fatal accident
“shoot first, ask questions last.” Waka Flocka Flame, ‘Bustin At ‘Em’
We here at the NSPA only listen to the great musicians like Hank Williams Jr. and Ferlin Husky so nobody was more surprised than we were when we discovered we liked a song by Waka Flocka Flame who is one of those rap singing fellas. He wrote a song called ‘Bustin At ‘Em’ that we’ve got to admit we’ve been playing over and over again all day long here at our offices because (if you can get past all of the tribal type noises) the lyrics speak right to our hearts. His line, “shoot first, ask questions last” might as well be the motto of the NSPA.
We only learned about ‘Bustin At ‘Em’ because Monday night Rodney Patrick from our Merritt Island NSPA chapter accidentally shot and killed a 17-year old friend while miming the lyrics to the song. Sure we’re sad that Patriot Patrick will be going away for a while because of this accident, but we want to focus on the good that came out of this with our discovery of ‘Bustin At ‘Em.’ Like we always say, when life accidentally shoots and kills a loved one, make a cool necklace out of the shell casings.
Deputies: Man was acting out lyrics before fatal Merritt Island shooting
He didn’t do anything that Jennifer Lawrence hasn’t done, but now he’s facing a murder charge. Yeah, that’s real fair.
Landlord John Lorenz, a member of our Colorado Springs NSPA chapter, accidentally texted a picture of himself pointing a gun to one of his tenants, with whom he had been having a long running feud, instead of to the special lady in his life, who was the intended recipient. The tenant freaked out and totally misinterpreted the picture as a threat. See, the tenant wasn’t a manly gun owner so he didn’t realize this is how we do this “sexting” thing. Rather than exposing our small penises in the “sexting” pictures, we remain fully clothed and proudly display our large guns. That’s how you get a woman all hot and bothered.
We haven’t talked to the police yet, but we are completely sure our theory of the misdirected picture is what happened here. Now if the tenant hadn’t misinterpreted the picture, he wouldn’t have rushed to confront Patriot Lorenz. Then Patriot Lorenz wouldn’t have needed to stand his ground and shoot his tenant. However, Patriot Lorenz now sits in jail facing a murder charge when his only crime was typing the wrong phone number before pressing the ‘send’ button. Just another day in Obama’s America.
John Lorenz Allegedly Texted Photo of Pointed Gun to Man — and Then Killed Him
Does this really look like the face of somebody who could shoot a person in cold blood?
Danny LeRoy Logue (is that a cool badass name or what?) from our Provo NSPA chapter had to endure the indignity of listening to a dirtbag, who spoke with a forked tongue, bear false witness against him today. The Deputy Utah County Attorney trotted out his well coached liar to testify that Patriot Logue used a gun to kill the victim when he had simply been hired by a drug dealer to rough up the victim a little bit to teach him not to snitch to the police. (It turns out the drug dealer was wrong to think that the victim had snitched against him.)
What we find interesting is that Dictator Obama just happened to be giving a speech one state away in Boise, Idaho on January 21, and many pundits questioned why he would spend any time in a common sense state that didn’t vote for him in 2008 or 2012. Well, it’s obvious what he was up to. He went to Idaho so he could sneak over to Provo, Utah under the cover of darkness to bark out his marching orders to the County Attorney’s office to prepare for today’s dog and pony show of lies and slander to send a proud, white, small penised Patriot to jail, thereby keeping him off the battlefield when he sends his goons out to confiscate our guns.
Provo mother testifies of finding fatally wounded son on porch
For just 24 cents a day, you will be able to help this proud, small penised white man who loves guns get a fair trial once our Bad Haircut Reclamation fund is up and running.
No sooner had we announced plans in yesterday’s post to establish a Bad Haircut Reclamation fund to correct the unfortunate haircuts of NSPA members who are facing trials for exercising their Second Amendment rights to defend themselves when we got word today that James Simons from our Tulsa NSPA chapter was on his way to jail while sporting the type of curious haircut that would attract catty comments from women and homosexual men jurors that would hurt his chances of getting a fair trial.
Patriot Simons did nothing more than use a gun to shoot a friend who was trying top punch him. That sounds like a perfectly legitimate case of self defense to us so we can’t understand why charges have been pressed. Now that the octopus like tentacles of the gun hating judicial system are wrapping around him, it is imperative that we get him a decent haircut to prevent those women and homosexual men from making those catty comments in the jury room and dooming his chances of getting a fair trial.
Police Identify Tulsa Man Who Admitted To Shooting Friend During Quarrel
THEY NEED YOUR HELP!
James Jordan from our Prattville NSPA chapter was charged yesterday for attempted murder in the shooting of his girlfriend that left her in critical condition, and Robert Duffell from our Phoenix NSPA chapter was charged on Thursday for first degree murder in the shooting of his girlfriend. We are convinced that both juries would exonerate our Patriots after hearing all of the facts of the cases in fair trials under normal circumstances. However, how often in Obama’s America do proud white men who defend themselves with their guns (a right that just happens to be guaranteed under the 2nd Amendment, by the way) get fair trials under normal circumstances? The answer to that question would be somewhere between never and never.
We here at the NSPA central office are worried about what will happen in both cases if the juries are filled with women and homosexual men. If there are women and homosexual men on the juries, I just know that they will not be listening to the evidence presented. No, they will instead be busy thinking up catty comments to make about both Patriots’ unfortunate haircuts once they get back into the jury rooms. You know how they are. That is why the NSPA will be establishing a Bad Haircut Restoration fund on our homepage soon to ensure that all of our Patriots can get as close to a fair trial as possible in Obama’s America. Please provide whatever help you can.
Prattville man charged in shooting of woman
Teen accused of killing Buckeye girl pleads not guilty
We have no intention to discontinue our highly successful Glocks For Micrococks program after this horribly unjust conviction.
We here at the NSPA central office have been fielding endless media queries on whether we will stop our Glocks For Micrococks program after the murder conviction today of Steven Bruno, a member of our Irvine chapter and one of the first recipients of a Glock pistol through our aforementioned Glocks For Micrococks program.
Our answer is an emphatic NO! First, this program has enhanced the self esteem of thousands of small penised white men across America. Second, today’s conviction was simply a travesty of justice and should not reflect in any way upon our program.
Yes, Patriot Bruno killed his father by shooting him in the head with the Glock he received from us because he had become annoyed with his father’s attempts to hinder his plan to drive to Ohio to meet a woman he had met online a few months earlier. So the real culprit in all of this is the harlot who tempted him to the point that he was no longer responsible for his own actions. She faces no consequences for her actions, one of our members is sent to prison for 40 years and the Glock we gave him is unfairly labeled as a murder weapon. Well, it sure was a good day for Dictator Obama.
Irvine man gets 40 years to life for father’s murder
None of this would have happened if the police had simply not violated his Biblical right to discipline his wife.
“I will make your pains in childbearing very severe;
with painful labor you will give birth to children.
Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.”
There, it looks pretty clear to us here at the NSPA that a husband has a Biblical right to discipline his wife. That’s just what Robert Schminsky, member of our NSPA Key West chapter, was doing by knocking his wife on her head with the stock of his semi-automatic shotgun when the busybody atheistic Monroe County sheriff’s deputies arrived and tried to stop him.
This led to a high speed car chase that was joined by the Florida Highway Patrol so it was perfectly understandable that Patriot Schminsky felt his life was in jeopardy and had no choice but to shoot his semi-automatic shotgun at the Marxist gun haters following him.
Unfortunately the bad guys won and now Patriot Schminsky sits in the Key West jail, facing charges of attempting to murder his wife, three counts of attempting to murder law enforcement officers, aggravated battery on a law enforcement officer, aggravated assault on a law enforcement officer, discharging a firearm in public and fleeing and eluding a law enforcement officer. In other words, he’s being charged for being a proud white Christian man who loves guns. That’s all but a capital offense in Obama’s America.
Florida Keys man shoots at cops in wild chase; deputy grazed
“I WANT MY MOMMY!”
Stephen Pasceri, the treasurer of our Boston NSPA chapter, is being pilloried in the media today for shooting and killing a well respected Boston heart surgeon before turning the gun on himself and committing suicide. Well, that’s just another day with the liberal media in Obama’s America, and that’s why we need to get the truth out every day about white men who have small penises and love guns.
See, Patriot Pasceri was a totally emotionally stable white guy who was coming to terms with the death of his 78 year old mother who received medical care in November from the surgeon he killed yesterday. Though the surgery was considered a success, she died shortly afterwards due to complications she experienced while being transferred to a rehabilitation facility. Who could have expected anything like this to happen to a 78 year old woman who had a 30 year history of emphysema and chronic chronic obstructive pulmonary disease and who had heart surgery 12 years ago for 90 percent blockage in one of her arteries?
Certainly not Patriot Pasceri who responded to the shocking surprise of her death by taking the totally understandable action of tracking down his mother’s surgeon at the hospital and shooting him to death, causing the surgeon to leave behind three children and a pregnant wife. But leave it to the liberal media to paint a distorted picture of an overgrown 55 year old cry baby with unresolved mommy issues who dealt with emotional pain common to all humans by lashing out with gunfire against a defenseless victim.
We would also like to point out that Patriot Pasceri’s mother died of medical complications while Obamacare is the law of the land. Thanks, Obamacare!
‘Something snapped,’ brother of alleged Brigham shooter says
Patriot Joseph McEnroe’s defense attorney stated the obvious. Patriot McEnroe loved the family he killed and really wasn’t responsible for his actions because he was pushed into doing this by a woman.
Joseph McEnroe from our NSPA Seattle chapter was in court today for the opening of his trial for his involvement in the shooting and killing of six members, including two children, aged 3 and 5, of his girlfriend’s family. His defense attorney made the salient point that Patriot McEnroe’s unstable girlfriend, who is also facing charges for killing her family members, made him do it. On top of that, the defense attorney shared that Patriot McEnroe had an unstable mother who provided him a difficult upbringing.
The media will try to spin this story as a tale of an emotionally unstable white man who used a gun to commit an act of unspeakable violence because he lacks maturity and coping skills. The liberal media will do this because they want to avoid addressing the root cause of what happened here: unstable women who nag and peck at a good Christian man until he finally reaches his breaking point.
McEnroe ‘loved’ family he killed but was coerced, attorney says
The police say David Crowley shot and killed his wife and 5 year old daughter before committing suicide and made much of the fact that he loved guns. We smell a cover up and want to know where was Harvey Weinstein the day they died.
David Crowley, media productions manager for the NSPA Apple Valley chapter, was found dead with his wife and 5 year old daughter in their home on Saturday. Since Patriot Crowley was a gun lover who collected guns, the police rushed to judgment and said Patriot Crowley shot and killed his wife and daughter before turning his gun on himself to commit suicide.
However, if you dig a little deeper, you begin to see the bigger picture. See, Patriot Crowley was a screenwriter and director who made the film ‘Gray State’ which envisioned America as a war zone where only self reliant Patriots with guns can survive. (I saw the film and can say it is almost as good as ‘Red Dawn.’)
Well, Patriot Crowley had been planning to movie his family to Hollywood so he could develop bigger projects. Before he could make the move, though, he and his family ended up dead. It seems a little too convenient for the police to say Patriot Crowley committed this murder/suicide. Why haven’t the police questioned Harvey Weinstein about where he was the night Patriot Crowley and his family died?
Big Boss Weinstein is a well known gun hater who has recently been talking big time smack against the NRA, our brothers in arms, and plugging his upcoming anti gun propaganda flick staring Meryl Streep. (Boy, we can’t wait for this one to come out,…..NOT!!) Wouldn’t Big Boss Weinstein do anything in his power to silence a brilliant filmmaker who could make a film that would rip his anti gun garbage to shreds? You know the answer. In addition to that, Big Boss Weinstein is frequently seen in the company of Michael Bloomberg. Need we say more?
Gun-toting Minnesota screenwriter, wife and 5-year-old found dead in apparent murder-suicide (VIDEO)
Dictator Obama will make sure a white man who likes collecting guns will be locked away on totally fabricated charges of killing his estranged wife because Obama wants as few well armed Patriots as possible to be available to fight when he sends out all of his minions to confiscate our guns.
James Robarge from our Newport, NH NSPA chapter had to endure his first day of kangaroo court on Friday to face charges that he killed his estranged wife the day she filed for divorce. However, we all know the real reason he is in court is because he loves collecting guns, and Dictator Obama wants to lock up as many well armed white men as he can before he starts confiscating our guns.
The ridiculous case presented by the state is based solely on flimsy, circumstantial evidence. Police found blood on Patriot Robarge’s shorts and shoes the day his estranged wife disappeared. That same day Patriot Robarge’s Volkswagen Jetta was found broken down along the highway a short drive away from where his estranged wife’s body was found 9 days later. Also, motor oil was found on the grass near where her body was buried in a shallow grave. By sheer coincidence, Patriot Robarge’s broken down car had a damaged oil pan. Then the prosecutor trotted out Patriot Robarge’s daughter to testify that the bloody blanket found by Patriot Robarge’s disabled car was the same blanket her mother kept on the back of their living room couch. Like I said, this case is based simply on flimsy, circumstantial evidence.
Please pray to Jesus Christ that the jury will be able to see past Dictator Obama’s dark deceptions and will set Patriot Robarge free.
Prosecutors say Vermont man killed his wife the day she filed for divorce
OFFICER DOWN! NSPA CHARTER MEMBER AND BRIMFIELD, OH POLICE CHIEF DAVID OLIVER IS SHOT DOWN BY THE LIBERAL POLITCAL CORRECTNESS POLICE WHO CAN’T TAKE A JOKE.
The NSPA flag is flying at half-staff outside our headquarters today in memory of the brilliant career of Brimfield, OH (just down the road from our Akron headquarters) police chief David Oliver. Chief Oliver was a proud conservative, white, small penised hero who endlessly self promoted his cornpone wisdom through his Facebook page and his local radio show which he used to rightfully decry the destructive influence of liberalism on our society.
Well, you knew it was just a matter of time until Dictator Obama’s cronies would silence him with a raft of trumped up charges of inappropriate workplace behavior. Sure enough, they trotted out the one female officer on the Brimfield force to play the victim and accuse him of regularly hugging and pretending to dry hump her, despite her repeated pleas to stop. Then she accused him of taking multiple pictures of her with his cell phone while she was being wheeled out of the department offices on a stretcher with heart monitors attached near her exposed bra after an asthma attack. While all of this was going on, she said Officer Oliver yelled out to everybody he got to second base with her.
On top of this, the fix was put in with many of the men on the Brimfield force who joined in on the lying and said all of these stories were true and that Chief Oliver was a bully who enjoyed humiliating people. Yeah, like a self satisfied, white conservative man would ever engage in behavior like that.
Chief Oliver has a perfectly reasonable explanation. He was simply joking with all of the touching and inappropriate comments, and he was forceful in recent union contract talks so obviously this was a way for all of those greedy, opportunistic public service union workers to retaliate and get their pound of flesh. So the real problems here are humorless feminists and greedy union workers, but sadly Chief Oliver is the one who had to take the fall and resign from his job yesterday.
Brimfield officer who stood up to Chief Oliver recounts bullying, vulgarities and retaliation
This never would have happened if his wife hadn’t driven him to have an affair, which led him to believe mistakenly that his mistress was having an affair, which led him to use a gun to kill one of his mistress’ coworkers who he mistakenly believed was her secret boyfriend.
Jeffrey Keller, president of our Bloomingdale NSPA chapter, was formally charged today for the murder of the man who he mistakenly believed was romantically involved with his mistress. We don’t want to get bogged down in the details, but the real culprit here, Patriot Keller’s wife, is going scot-free. See, back in 2010 she provoked him to get into an argument over a credit card which forced him to beat her over the head with a computer power cable.
Not only did this cause him to get a domestic violence conviction, but it also drove him into the arms of another woman. If his wife had never driven him into the arms of another woman, he never would have begun stalking the man he mistakenly believed to be his mistress’ secret boyfriend and then he never would have used a gun to kill him.
Patriot Keller is clearly an emotionally stable white guy with good reasoning and coping skills who has been victimized by his wife. Yet she doesn’t have a charge against her while Patriot Keller is facing decades in prison. That’s a classic case of Obama regime justice if I’ve ever seen one.
Jeffrey Keller charged in Bloomingdale murder of Nate Fox, 37
Officer James Ashby was simply standing his ground!
We need all of the good police officers we can get so it’s a crying shame that Officer (now a former officer thanks to Dictator Obama’s henchmen) James Ashby from our Rocky Ford NSPA chapter has been charged with murder for doing his job. It all started back in October when he observed a suspicious looking man (in other words, a brown skinned guy) enter a home at 2:00 AM one night.
The fact that the man was just entering his mother’s home after she opened the door for him is beside the point. Officer Ashby had every reason to believe a burglary was about to take place so he was perfectly justified to charge into the house with a drawn gun and without identifying himself.
When the suspicious man picked up a baseball bat, it was time for Officer Ashby to stand his ground and pull the trigger. The whitewash report by the Colorado Bureau of Investigation determined the suspicious man with the bat had his back to Patriot Ashby so he posed absolutely no threat. To that we reply, “Yeah, right.” Anybody who has seen ‘The Untouchables’ remembers what Robert De Niro did with a baseball bat as Al Capone so everybody should appreciate that Patriot Ashby was fighting for his life.
Unfortunately, though, the fix was in (does anybody know where Eric Holder was today?, just sayin’) today at Patriot Ashby’s preliminary hearing, and the judge set Patriot Ashby’s arraignment for February 12. Just another day in Obama’s America.
Judge: Rocky Ford cop will be tried for murder in fatal shooting
Where’s the crime? We all have to go some time, and I can’t imagine a way I would want to go more than by getting shot while horsing around with an unsecured semi automatic pistol with my buddies.
The wet blanket patrol, I mean the Fraser Public Safety Department, has seen fit to arrest Matthew Magdowski from our Macomb County NSPA chapter for second degree murder, using a firearm in the commission of a felony and felon in possession of a firearm. As it happens with all of our members who get arrested, the charges they face grossly distort the real story of what happened. Patriot Magdowski and one of his best friends simply visited an acquaintance of his friend. His friend knew this acquaintance kept a semi automatic pistol in a kitchen drawer, so to kick the fun and frivolity up a notch to get the party started, he pulled the gun out of the drawer and pointed it at Patriot Magdowski for a good chuckle.
This only sounds like the start of every Saturday night for me. Well, one thing led to another and Patriot Magdowski grabbed the gun and pointed it back at his friend. He pulled the trigger, and his friend died. Again, I can’t think of a better way to shuffle off this mortal coil. Besides, his friend (as long as he wasn’t a Jew, Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist, Mormon, Catholic, Shintoist, Satanist, Zoroastrian, Atheist, Scientologist, Sikh, Krishna or Jainist) is in Heaven right now by the side of Jesus Christ so we here at the NSPA don’t see what is such a big deal.
We feel guns should be as accessible as butter knives in every home. Sure, accidents like this happen, but people die every day falling in their bathtubs according to the National Safety Council ( http://www.nsc.org ) so what’s the big deal? Dictator Obama and all of his Marxist acolytes hate guns. That’s the big deal! Jeb 2016!
Police: Man kills friend after taking gun away from him
How was he to know that pulling the trigger would cause the gun to shoot?
Chad Martin Stall from our Hillsborough County chapter was just chilling with his buddy Kadin Koehler when he did what all guys do while hanging with a bro. He pointed a loaded .76 caliber assault rifle at Koehler’s head and pulled the trigger. Patriot Stall sure was surprised when the gun went off, and his buddy dropped dead from a shot to the head. This simply isn’t supposed to happen when two gun lovers get together. As Patriot Stall explained to the police, he didn’t believe the gun would discharge when he pulled the trigger. That sounds perfectly reasonable to me. Well trained, experienced gun owners know their guns and don’t have careless accidents, which is exactly we need to trust them more than the local authorities to keep us safe. This is why nothing will be accomplished by sending him to jail. However, the gun hating Sheriff’s Department and the prosecutor are senselessly plowing ahead with this travesty of justice.
Tampa man shot and killed with assault rifle
Paul Joseph Duddy, the latest victim of Dictator Obama’s plan to confiscate all of the guns owned by brave white men who happen to have small penises.
Paul Joseph Duddy from our Phoenix NSPA chapter bravely went old school earlier this week with his 12-gauge shotgun (I would have used my Black Rain Ordnance BRO-PG5 Standard Semi-Auto Carbine, but I’m not judging) to stop his neighbor’s 7 month old dog from barking. Look, the dog didn’t die, but it stopped barking so as far as we at the NSPA offices are concerned this was a classic win/win for Patriot Duddy and his neighbor. Now, if only the local authorities could see things the same way, everything would be fine. Oh wait, we forgot, the local authorities are only concerned with persecuting guys like us so our only option is to load up on guns so we’ll be ready for fighting them when they come to round us up for the FEMA camps.
Phoenix man accused of shooting neighbor’s dog with 12-gauge
Christopher was only trying to keep the streets of Easley, SC safer with his gun.
Christopher Cox from our Easley chapter was arrested by the unappreciative Pickens County Sheriff’s Department which apparently didn’t care that he was trying to prevent a dangerous woman driver from engaging in a potentially deadly bout of distracted driving.
It all started last month when Patriot Cox asked a husband and wife if he could borrow their cell phone. When the wife gave Patriot Cox her phone, he ran out of the house and drove away. Two weeks later he returned to the couple’s house to say he was there to return the wife’s phone. Patriot Cox asked the husband to accompany him to his car in the driveway to get the phone. Once the husband was outside, Patriot Cox pulled out a gun and shot the husband in the arm. Then right on cue, the gun hating thugs from the Pickens County Sheriff’s Department showed up to arrest him.
Right away the liberal Greenville media labeled this a puzzling action of an unstable white man who shouldn’t have access to guns. Leave it to the lazy reporters not to dig deeper in the story to get to the truth. The truth is that Patriot Cox simply wanted to keep the cell phone away from the wife so she couldn’t gab away with her friends about meaningless girl talk and potentially injure somebody in a car accident because she wasn’t paying attention to the road. Any white male driver who has ever looked over in the car next to him to see a girl yakking away on a cell phone behind the wheel knows exactly what I’m talking about.
Easley man charged with attempted murder over stolen cell phone
Speed, not guns, kills!
Here we go again. The El Mirage police have seen fit to arrest Richard Copeland, El Mirage NSPA chapter member, for simply trying to keep his neighborhood safe. Patriot Copeland had become so tired of the danger posed by cars speeding in front of his house that he did the only sensible thing he could do when a car raced by his house recently. He jumped on his motorcycle and chased the speeding motorist. Then to make sure he got the speed demon’s attention so he could point out to him the dangers of his reckless driving, Patriot Copeland fired three gunshots at the car.
Instead of presenting Patriot Copeland a letter of commendation to thank him for his community service, the El Mirage police slapped him with six felonies. To add insult to injury, the police pressed ahead with these charges against Patriot Copeland after he said he would not do it again. What else would you expect in Obama’s
Soviet Socialist Republic of States America?
Former marine Richard Copeland plays vigilante in El Mirage
We don’t want to brag, but we saw their potential more than 3 years ago.
Back in 2011 Troy McVey and Colby Kronholm caught the eye of Kip Gromp, our Greenville, Maine chapter’s youth outreach coordinator, while he was serving time in the Piscataquis County Jail on a totally false conviction for soliciting a minor. See, Kip was simply in the locker room at the Beth Pancoe Aquatic Center in Bangor to talk about a field trip he was organizing to go to the Falmouth Rod & Gun Club when a gun hating undercover detective arrested him on the false charge as a way to keep him from sharing his love of guns with young men.
Well, Kip made lemon aide out of those lemons when he met Troy and Colby in jail. For the next two years after his release from jail he spent endless hours mentoring Kip and Colby on how to handle a gun in their hands. All of that hard work and the attention he gave them paid off this week when Troy and Colby were able to use their gun skills in Hollywood when they defended themselves from an unarmed homeless man in his 50s. Not only was the man homeless, but he was also black so Troy and Colby knew their lives were surely in danger when they encountered him so they had no choice but to kill him. However, since California is ruled by that crazy, gun hating Governor Moonbeam Jerry Brown, Troy and Colby are back in jail. Again, it’s all part of Dictator Obama’s master plan to eliminate as many small penised white men who love guns as possible from the streets so he can destroy America from within. The problem for Dictator Obama is that the NSPA isn’t going to let this happen. WE ARE TROY MCVEY AND COLBY KRONHOLM!
Two Greenville men arrested in connection with shooting death in California
Alcohol may have been a factor so why are the authorities making such a big deal about the gun? Also, why aren’t the liberal wingnuts now calling for a return to prohibition? Maybe it’s because they only hate guns!
Frank Huffman, president of the NSPA South Forsyth chapter was shamefully arrested last night for using his gun to defend himself (a right guaranteed to him by the 2nd Amendment in case you forgot) from his long time girlfriend’s 25 year old son. The authorities are making much of the fact that the young man who Patriot Huffman killed was unarmed, but we would like to point out that the Forsyth County Sheriff’s Office has speculated that alcohol may have been involved in the domestic kerfuffle that led up to the shooting. We are sure that this was the case and can’t wait for news to be released that the young man who died was loaded to the gills and was responsible for creating such a threatening environment that Patriot Huffman had no choice other than to shoot to kill.
Patriot Huffman’s gun is getting all of the blame, but demon alcohol is the real villain.
Proverbs 20:1 – Wine [is] a mocker, strong drink [is] raging: and whosoever is deceived thereby is not wise.
I’m still looking, but I haven’t found any Bible verses yet that warn about the evils of guns.
South Forsyth man charged in fatal shooting of longtime girlfriend’s adult son
Sorry, ladies, he’s going to be off the market for a while.
We were saddened to learn Thomas Gilbert Jr., the treasurer of the NSPA Manhattan chapter, was charged on Monday for shooting and killing his father with a single shot to the head from his .40 caliber Glock semi-automatic pistol because he had been planning on selling that beautiful gun to me for $200 to make up for the $200 reduction Patriot Gilbert’s multimillionaire father had applied to his monthly allowance.
Unfortunately I won’t be getting my dream gun for such a sweet price because Patriot Gilbert had become so angered by his old man’s Scrooge McDuck imitation that he had to prove he was no slacker by proactively killing his father. All we’re saying here at the NSPA is that Gilbert Sr. would still be alive if he had simply continued paying Patriot Gilbert the full $600 a month allowance that he so richly deserved.
The gun wasn’t the problem here. No, the problem was Gilbert Sr.’s belief that greed is good.
As his expert defense witness pointed out, the gun Rickey Kelley fired was about as dangerous as throwing a handful of rocks.
Today Rickey Kelley from our York NSPA chapter finished the second day of his kangaroo court trial for shooting and killing his ex-girlfriend’s new boyfriend in a case that is really nothing more than a clear case of justifiable self defense on a high note as his expert defense witness made the obvious point that the gun Patriot Kelley fired at Jacob Kiraly was no more dangerous than throwing a handful of rocks at him.
Right on cue, the STASI secret police agent, oh, I mean the Pennsylvania State trooper sent to the witness stand to lie on behalf of the Marxist gun hating police state of Pennsylvania lamely tried to poke holes in Patriot Kelley’s iron clad defense, and we can only hope the jury can see through his lies and propaganda.
This case only highlights the need for us to continue our work to make sure that any emotionally insecure white guy who nurses an endless list of grudges and slights has unfettered access to any gun he wants at any time so he can stand his ground and protect himself.
Gun used to shoot ex’s new boyfriend as accurate as throwing ‘a handful of rocks,’ expert testifies
“The damn gun doesn’t usually shoot,” Shisler’s arrest report quoted him as saying. “You have to squeeze the hell out of the trigger to shoot it.” Well, this sounds like a perfectly reasonable explanation so why does Charles Shisler even need to be bothered by the hassle of going through a trial?
We have the sad duty to report that the fixers at the Bay County Criminal Court today announced they plan to pursue manslaughter charges against Charles Shisler, the Community Outreach Coordinator for our Panama City charter, for his perfectly understandable accidental shooting of his neighbor Justin Ayers.
The facts are clear that Patriot Shisler was in no way at fault. His 9mm Luger accidentally went off back in June, sending a stray bullet 200 feet away into the back of the skull of Mr. Ayers on the very day that Mr. Ayers brought his newborn baby home from the hospital.
While the police were conducting the investigation, Mr. Shisler opined, “The damn gun doesn’t usually shoot. You have to squeeze the hell out of the trigger to shoot it.” After all, who would have ever expected a gun to discharge when applying just a moderate amount of pressure to the trigger?
The clearly compromised Florida Department of Law Enforcement test fired the gun to inspect its functionality and determined it operated properly, which wasn’t a surprise since this has Dictator Obama’s fingerprints all over it. Thankfully Patriot Shisler’s defense attorney has successfully petitioned the court to have further testing conducted on the gun.
However, since we can’t rely on the crooked court system, please pray to Jesus Christ to intervene and set Patriot Shisler free because we will need all of the armed white Patriots we can get in Florida to protect us from all of the Communistic Cubans that Dictator Obama will have swarm into the state now that he has revealed his partnership with the Castro brothers.
Gun in Ayers fatal shooting to be inspected
Look, there’s really no need to proceed with the criminal charges against Steven Lucas because he has made a New Year’s resolution to be more careful with his guns.
The party poopers in the Sacramento County Sheriff’s Department are determined to plow ahead with criminal charges against Steven Lucas, NSPA Sacramento chapter Treasurer, for accidentally killing his girlfriend by shooting her in the head while simply doing a little bit of celebratory shooting to ring in the New Year. This was nothing more than an understandable accident that could happen to anybody who sees the sense in celebrating the New Year by shooting a gun while other people are standing around. We guess the authorities would prefer Patriot Steven to celebrate the New Year holiday all by himself. No, holidays, like guns, are meant to be enjoyed with others.
At this point, nothing will be accomplished by pressing charges against Patriot Lucas. He has already said he is sorry and has made a New Year’s resolution to be a little more careful with his guns. Oh wait, we here at the NSPA just remembered something will be accomplished by pressing charges against him. This will get one more white Christian man who loves guns off the street, which has been Dictator Obama’s master plan all along.
Sheriff: Woman Killed By Boyfriend’s Celebratory New Year’s Gunshot
Listen, there is absolutely nothing out of the ordinary about sharing a bed with a gun.
The lamestream media sure is having a good time destroying the upstanding character of Peachtree City police chief William McCollom, the gun safety training coordinator of our Peachtree City chapter, after he accidentally shot his wife in bed. First, they are making much of the contradictory statements they claim Patriot McCollom made shortly after the accident. He initially said the gun went off accidentally while he was moving it in the bed. A short time later he said the gun went off while he was asleep. As if that in any way makes his statements questionable. Leave it to the lamestream media to get carried away over a simple case of semantics.
They compound this travesty of journalism by interviewing over and over again Peachtree City residents who question what Patriot McCollom was doing with a gun in his bed. This may come as a surprise to all of the chicken hearted liberals who have never held a gun before, but all of us National Small Penis Association members sleep with our guns. The out of the ordinary circumstance in Patriot McCollom’s case is that there was also a woman in the bed.
Nobody can question anymore if a man should be able to share a bed with a man or a woman should be able to share a bed with a woman (which are perfectly legitimate questions), but everybody feels free to question whether a man should be able to share a bed with a gun because white Christian guys who love guns are the one group in Obama’s America that can still be openly persecuted.
We were sleeping when I shot my wife, Georgia police chief says on 911 tape
As the mug shot of Eric Campbell reminds us, we must always be vigilant against police brutality. Also, anybody who has seen the 1983 Michael Douglas movie ‘The Star Chamber’ knows that Eric and his father Edward had nothing to do with the murder of the elderly couple found under a mattress in the back of their stolen truck which Edward happened to be driving.
We here at the NSPA headquarters were shocked when reporters began calling us to ask about our association with Eric and Edward Campbell, the father and son team who are President and Vice President of the NSPA Alvin, Texas chapter.
We were shocked because we could not believe the abuse Eric received at the hands of the Lewisburg Police Department. It all started when the police pulled Eric over for no good reason at all. Thankfully Edward pulled up on the scene in a pickup truck and advocated for his son’s safety, as any good father would do, by shooting the two officers who clearly intended to harm young Eric. Edward’s paternal premonition for the well being of his son turned out to be well justified as you can see by what they did to him from his mug shot.
So not only are Eric and Edward being charged for simply trying to protect themselves from police state overreach with a little good old fashioned American firepower, they are now being accused of murdering an elderly couple from North Carolina. The case against Eric and Edward is purely circumstantial. The state’s case will be built solely upon the fact that the couple’s corpses were found under a mattress in the back of a pickup truck Edward was driving. The pickup truck happened to belong to the dead couple. Like I said, the case is purely circumstantial.
SPOILER ALERT – Edward and Eric are obviously innocent of the couple’s murder as anybody who has seen Michael Douglas’ 1983 film ‘The Star Chamber’ surely knows. Because of a legal technicality, Michael Douglas’ character had to throw out a case involving two men who were driving a van that had a dead boy in the back of the van under a mattress. Douglas’ character then gets involved with the Star Chamber, a shadowy group of judges who dispense justice on cases that fall through the judicial system’s cracks. The Star Chamber hires a hitman to kill the two guys who were driving the van. Douglas’ character then discovers the two guys had nothing to do with the murder and then has to try to save their lives before the hitman gets them. Obviously something like that has happened with the Campbells. Case closed.
This case only reminds us of the importance of our work to make sure anybody can get any gun at any time for protection from a government that wants to take away our freedom!
Granville Co. stunned after elderly couple murdered
We would like to make the salient point that Preston didn’t drive his gun from Texas to Florida. No, he drove his car from Texas to Florida.
23-year-old drives 15 hours to shoot girlfriend’s family
Leave it to the hysterical ninnies at USAToday to point their judgmental fingers at the role Preston Pollard’s gun played in the murder of Patriot Pollard’s girlfriend’s father and the attack on her mother who is now in critical condition. Yet the paper (if that’s what you want to call it, it’s more like a glorified Penny Saver that is mostly given away for free to guests of second tier hotel chains who never bother to read it anyways) never makes mention of the role that Patriot Pollard’s car played in the incident. A quick check on mapquest.com reveals that the distance from Venus, Texas to Marion Oaks, Florida is 1,057 miles.
If Preston didn’t have access to his car, which he drove for 15 hours to get to his girlfriend’s family’s home, none of this would have happened. If he had walked and covered 20 miles a day, it would have taken him 53 days to get there. By then his feet would have been badly blistered, and all he would have wanted to do would have been to take a nap. There would have been no shooting. So yet once again the gun hating lamestream media jumps on the propaganda bandwagon and completely conceals the real story just so they can push their agenda!
Okay, we’ve actually got to distance ourselves on this one.
When word reached our offices today that Tim West, our St. Augustine chapter President, shot and killed his estranged wife in front of their two children before committing “suicide by cop”, we reflexively prepared to come to his defense. However, as we looked into the case, we acknowledged that on this rare occasion we must distance ourselves from a fellow small penised gun lover because we noticed he was one of those guys who wears Oakley sunglasses around his neck. We pitch a wide (yet admittedly also low) tent here at the NSPA to welcome all small penised gun lovers to join our fellowship, but we must draw the line at guys who wear Oakley sunglasses around their necks. We unequivocally declare that no Oakley sunglasses around the neck type guys will ever be welcomed in the NSPA. Guns were not the problem in the case. The Oakley sunglasses were the problem.
Man fatally shot by deputies killed wife, committed ‘suicide by cop’
Let’s hold off on passing any judgment until we have all the facts. We are sure there is a perfectly good explanation for what happened.
We here at the NSPA admit we were more than a little surprised when we got a report that Glen Skidmore from our Mink Shoals chapter was arrested today for shooting and killing his sister and shooting and injuring her son. We’ve always considered Glen to be a good guy with a gun so we are sure there is a perfectly understandable explanation for what happened. For example, maybe he was possessed by demons – 1 Peter 5:8 – Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:
Or maybe he was brainwashed by a covert liberal Marxist gun hating group funded by Michael Bloomberg to commit an act of unspeakable violence just to make guns look bad.
Or maybe it just comes down to the fact that it can be pretty damn difficult to spend a lot of time around family members during the holidays. Hardly anybody is willing to admit this, but you all know what I’m talking about. The important thing is that we hold off on judging Patriot Glen until we know the rest of the story.
Man Charged with Killing Sister, Shooting Nephew
Please pray for a speedy recovery for Matthew Roberts from our Republic, Missouri chapter.
It has been a sad Christmas holiday for the NSPA as we pray for the well being of our brother Patriot Matthew as he recovers from his heartbreaking attempt to commit suicide by drowning himself in his jail cell toilet last week. The only reason he was in jail in the first place and driven to commit this desperate act was because the local gun hating authorities saw fit to arrest him for accidentally shooting his girlfriend in the face.
Not only was it shocking that the police would arrest him for having an accident around the house, but the police apparently never read The Bible because they revealed their liberal bias to side with Matthew’s girlfriend by overlooking our favorite Bible passages when they were called to the house to assess what had happened. Anybody who would have taken these Bible passages to heart would have clearly surmised who was at fault for the accidental shooting.
“Give me any plague, but the plague of the heart: and any wickedness, but the wickedness of a woman.” (Ecclesiasticus 25:13)
“Of the woman came the beginning of sin, and through her we all die.” (Ecclesiasticus 25:22) (Ain’t that the truth!)
Court documents: Republic man accused of shooting woman in the face says it was an accident
Who needs Planned Parenthood and Obamacare for women’s general health care and disease screening services when you have a gun in the house?
Well, Dictator Obama’s much vaunted Obamacare and the harpies at Planned Parenthood with all of the women’s general health care services they allegedly provide while they’re not busy killing babies did absolutely nothing to save Charlene Ross’ life by detecting the heart arrhythmia that threatened her life. No, it took her husband’s accidental gunshot to the back of her head to get her to the hospital, which led to the detection of the arrhythmia. If her husband Boyd hadn’t shot her in the back of the head, she would probably be dead now from a heart attack!
We don’t need the government guiding our healthcare. We need God and guns to guide our healthcare. As Charlene’s son pointed out while reflecting on the incident, “It’s just one of those things where God says, ‘I am going to get you into the hospital one way or the other and shooting you might be the way to do it.’”
Undiagnosed heart issue found in woman after she was accidentally shot by her husband
Wasn’t Obamacare supposed to save a lot of lives?
For the past 24 hours we have been fielding numerous media requests for a statement concerning the arrest of Jim Ackerman from our Las Vegas chapter for shooting and killing a Walgreens employee in a botched robbery. We didn’t take the bait of any of their agenda driven, leading questions and turned the tables on them by asking why after a year of Obamacare are so many people still dying of gunshot wounds. If Obamacare had worked the way it was promised to work, this Walgreens shooting would be a non story. However, the lamestream media would never hold their precious Dictator Obama accountable for his failures, so they changed the subject by focusing on the Walgreens employee who died from a gunshot wound. Needless to say, none of the lamestream reporters had an answer for us when we started asking the questions.
Drugstore shooting near Summerlin leaves one dead; police make arrest
Once again, the media blows everything out of proportion and mangles the facts just to make a white guy with a gun look irresponsible and unstable.
Brandon Blandzinski from our NSPA Shelby County chapter unjustly sits in jail while the local newspaper prints sensationalistic headlines about his arrest on Christmas Day for shooting his wife in the head. Like all good NSPA members, though, you already know not to believe anything you read in the lamestream media. (Only believe what you read on breitbart.com, but you already knew that so I shouldn’t bother typing it.) I heard from another NSPA member from down there that Brandon and his wife are big fans of ‘A Christmas Story’, and they simply tried to re-enact the scene from the end of the movie when little Ralphie almost shoots his eye out with the Red Ryder bb gun. Instead of a bb gun, I heard they used one of Brandon’s handguns and one thing led to another and Samantha ended up with a bullet in her head.
So the real problem here isn’t guns, it’s the sickening overglorification of ‘A Christmas Story’, and it’s not so subtle, anti-gun agenda, as a Christmas classic. First off, let me say any movie that doesn’t feature the birth of Jesus Christ should not be allowed to have “Christmas” in its title. Second, you couldn’t get away from that damn movie from Christmas Eve to Christmas Day because the damn thing was playing around the clock on both TNT and TBS so it’s no surprise that a couple of naïve kids like Brandon and Samantha fell under its narcotic like haze of influence, which led to the accident that has poor Patriot Brandon in jail facing felony charges. Though Ted Turner no longer has any operational involvement with TNT or TBS, he started the channels and is a well documented looney tunes Liberal who must still be pulling the strings somewhere at those channels to have that gun hating propagandist film shown so relentlessly. Well, Ted Turner’s ploy worked and got a white good guy with a gun locked up in jail.
Wife shot in head Christmas Day; husband charged
It was a good thing he had his gun in his car.
Ryan David Balla from our Ford City chapter luckily had his gun with him when he had to defend himself from a busy body “do-gooder” who stuck his nose into a small traffic incident that was none of his business. Patriot Balla was able to use the gun to scare away the “do-gooder” and his female passenger before they could cause any serious problems at the scene. This incident provides yet another example (as if we need any more) of why we need to make sure well trained, white, small penised good guys have access to their guns at all times.
However, leave it to ultra liberal court system in Pennsylvania to see the matter completely differently. They treated this good guy with a gun as if he were a criminal and charged him with aggravated assault by vehicle while driving under the influence of alcohol, the sale or transfer of firearms, driving under the influence of alcohol, making terroristic threats, reckless endangerment, harassment and traffic offenses. Why didn’t they just cut to the chase and simply charge him for being a white guy with a gun?
Alcohol, drugs tied to road rage incidents in Manor
Look, he said he was sorry.
The county prosecutor was out for the blood of Patrick Joseph Salois from our Great Falls chapter and asked for a 10 year prison term at Patriot Salois’ sentencing hearing, which shouldn’t even have been held anyways because all Patriot Salois did was accidentally bump the barrel of his shotgun into his wife’s mouth while doing the important fatherly task of instructing his 6 year old son on how to load and unload a Glock pistol. Patriot Salois also accidentally pointed a gun at his 11 month old son during this family time they were spending together. Leave it to liberal, family hating prosecutors to try to criminalize spending time with the family during an era when most men are AWOL from their families.
Look, it’s not like anyone got shot. Patriot Salois’ wife lost a couple of teeth in the incident, but the same thing happened to my mother when she bit into an unpitted kalamata olive a month ago so it’s really not that big of a deal. Besides, Patriot Salois was really, really sorry for what he did and promised nothing like this would ever happen again. Thankfully the judge gave him a five year deferred sentence but warned him he will go to prison for 20 years if he doesn’t comply with all of the probation conditions over the next five years. Patriot Salois is just another gun loving white man who must bear the burden of liberal, gun hating oppression.
Man sentenced for attacking wife, children with guns
Okay, so according to the Dayton Daily News Brian Harleman from our New Paris, Ohio chapter critically injured his ex-girlfriend and killed her 10 year old daughter with a gun he purchased the day after being released from a night in jail last week for a domestic violence charge against his ex-girlfriend, but since he killed himself with that same gun we will never know what buttons his ex-girlfriend pushed to cause this to happen. Also, we here at the NSPA don’t feel this story provides any justification for 3 day waiting periods for gun purchases.
It’s not like he was trying to do something like getting an abortion on demand in Ohio, which thankfully would have required him to get state-directed counseling and then wait 24 hours before getting the procedure. We realize there are some things that require a cooling off period in the hopes that good Christian common sense will steer a misguided soul away from committing a wicked deed.
Two dead, one injured in murder-suicide
Neither a borrower nor a lender be,
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
Michael Burris from our Fergus Falls chapter has just been convicted of murdering his nephew with a gunshot to the head, but we would like to point out the gun was not the cause of the trouble. The shooting resulted from an argument over an unpaid $20,000 drug related debt Patriot Burris’ nephew owed him. If Patriot Burris and his nephew had read their Shakespeare and taken Polonius’ warning about being a borrower or lender to heart, none of this would have happened. However, this is not a surprise since both Patriot Burris and his nephew were “educated” in public schools so their Marxist, pension obsessed “teachers” weren’t about to do any real work and teach them any Shakespeare. So, ultimately, the real problem here is not guns, it is public school teachers.
Fergus Falls man sentenced to more than 12 years for murder of nephew
Gun safety training could have prevented this tragedy.
It will be a sad Christmas for NSPA member Brandon Bartlett from our York County, Virginia branch who is sitting in jail right now and facing a second-degree murder charge for shooting and killing a 68 year old neighbor after mistaking him for a deer. This tragedy underscores the need for gun safety training because this could have been perfectly avoidable if the neighbor had been trained to call out, “I’m not a deer. Don’t shoot, I’m not a deer.” Instead, the neighbor prowled the neighborhood under the cover of nighttime darkness and caused this big misunderstanding to happen. There’s nothing that makes us madder here at the NSPA offices than when we see proud gun owners being victimized by people who don’t know how to act around guns.
Man killed in York County shooting identified
Guns don’t hurt people, people with guns hurt people.
Guns don’t hurt people, dogs with guns hurt people!
Over the past few months a number of vicious, gun hating, dog lovers have e-mailed horrible threats to me for my recent posts supporting NSPA members who have been in the news for shooting dogs. Well, the tragic news from Sheridan, Wyoming in which a dog “accidentally” shot Richard Fipps only proves my point that dogs are sinister beasts that cannot be trusted. If you still don’t believe me, just open up your Bible!
Philippians 3:2 – Beware of dogs, beware of evil workers, beware of the concision.
Revelation 22:15 – For without [are] dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.
I also happen to have inside information from my friends at WorldNetDaily who are preparing to release a bombshell investigative report that Dictator Obama has a secret program to train dogs to use head mounted guns so they can be used as guards at the FEMA concentration camps once he begins to round up all of us gun owners. So to all of you gun hating, dog lovers out there, let’s hear what you have to say when you are locked up in a FEMA concentration camp, and Beau is pointing a gun at you.
Dog shoots man: Accidental shooting injures man
Since when did trying to be a father become a crime?
Okay, fellow NSPA Patriots, Michael Hecht from our Cincinnati chapter is in jail tonight for doing nothing more than trying to re-enter his 8 year old son’s life last night. The hysterical media is getting ahead of the facts and insisting that he stormed the home of his ex-wife with a home made gun when he heard her new husband was planning on adopting her son and giving him his last name. The media irresponsibly claims Hecht intended to kill the stepfather, who viciously assaulted Hecht with a glass and held him down until the police arrived.
That certainly isn’t the whole story according to what I’ve heard from my associates down there in the men’s rights movement. Granted, Hecht had not been involved in his son’s life much for the past 8 years, but what we’re guessing is that he was trying to make amends and made the gun at his home for an Indian Guides project and intended to bring his son to the local Indian Guides meeting. Can you think of a more wholesome activity Hecht could bond over with his son? No, I didn’t think so. The stepfather obviously jumped to the conclusion that Hecht was going to use the gun against him so he jumped the gun (no pun intended) and committed the felonious assault against Hecht. However, thanks to Dictator Obama’s judicial system, it is Hecht who is in jail.
Man Plots To Kill Ex-Wife’s New Husband Ahead Of Eight-Year-Old Son’s Adoption
Here we go again! The lamestream media is again rushing to judgment against a proud NSPA member. This time Stephen Rozniakowski is the victim. For those members of the lamestream media who slept through their high school civics classes, we here at the NSPA would like to remind them that our court system in theory views everybody who comes before them as innocent until proven guilty. Sure, Rozniakowski was rushed to the hospital after shooting his ex-fiancée to death and shooting and critically injuring her 14 year old daughter Monday night. Sure, the Plymouth Township Police previously arrested him with 25 counts of stalking and 50 counts of harassment for allegedly contacting his ex-fiancée repeatedly through phone calls and text messages.
However, the lamestream media is already portraying poor Rozniakowski as an emotionally unstable man who had a cache of guns in his house that he used to vent his crybaby rage when he hasn’t even had his day in court yet. We haven’t had a chance to review the evidence, and we are sure there is a perfectly reasonable explanation for what happened so we are asking the alleged media to slow down and stop their rush to judgment. I guess that is asking for too much, though, in Obama’s America.
Former Girlfriend Feared Delco Officer, Got Protection Before Deadly Shooting
Read more: http://www.nbcphiladelphia.com/news/local/Police-Officer-Accused-Stalker-Killed-Former-Girlfriend-Officials-colwyn-285971091.html#ixzz3MJNyO1RC
So why isn’t anybody calling for a ban on machetes?
Bradley Stone, a charter NSPA member from our Philadelphia chapter, has been in the news recently for allegedly killing his ex-wife and five of her family members before committing suicide yesterday. Right on cue all of the opportunistic gun haters got into a hissy fit over Stone allegedly using a .40-caliber handgun to kill 5 of the 6 victims and said this is yet another in an endless number of examples of why there is a need for sensible (allegedly sensible, author’s note) gun control legislation. Well, we here at the NSPA want to know why nobody is making much of the fact that Stone allegedly killed his ex-wife’s 14 year old niece with a machete. Where are all the calls for machete control legislation? Well, don’t wait for Dictator Obama and all of his henchmen to do anything to protect you from a machete wielding black man because they will be too busy trying to confiscate guns from totally well balanced, emotionally mature white guys who happen to have small penises. When the black men with machetes come hunting for you, you better hope the gun haters haven’t already taken away your guns.
Bradley Stone found dead in Montgomery County shooting
OCCUPY LORAIN, OHIO!
This is a call to arms for all NSPA members and supporters who are able to participate in our March on Lorain, Ohio tomorrow to protest the Lorain Police Department’s racial profiling and persecution of two upstanding white guys who were only using their Second Amendment rights while enjoying a few alcoholic beverages while sharing a little father/son quality time. The Marxist police and prosecutor will claim Joseph and Thomas Boyette from our Lorain/Elyria chapter were jeopardizing the safety of their neighbors while shooting up to 36 rounds from a handgun while bonding over a few drinks, that in no way diminished their judgment or their motor skills, on their front porch.
These are innocent, small penised, white, responsible gun owners, and their lives matter. However, the Obama administration will do whatever it can to take away their guns and break up their family. That is why we must stand up and fight. See you in Lorain!
Father, son charged with shooting gun during night of drinking
We need a new Santa for our Christmas Party where we will say, “Merry Christmas”, not, “Happy Holidays.”
Due to the unfortunate incarceration of Frank Perry from our West Memphis, Arkansas chapter, we need a stand in to play Santa at the National Small Penis Association’s Christmas Party to be held this Saturday at the Belgrade Gardens restaurant in Barberton, Ohio. We had not planned on having a party this year until we attended the Sandy Springs Gun Club and Range “Holiday” party (please see below). After we realized even they were kowtowing to the atheists in America (Obama’s America, that is) who are waging a war on Christmas, we decided to host a full fledged Christmas party.
Mr. Perry planned on being in Akron this weekend to visit the American Toy Marble Museum (http://www.americantoymarbles.com) and to visit the NSPA national headquarters so he offered to play the part of Santa at our Christmas party. However, he accidentally shot his wife to death in their home last night. For some reason the police did not believe his perfectly plausible explanation that he thought she was an intruder. Well, if she had been an intruder, he would have kept her safe by having that gun in the house and using it. That is why we must continue to work with our friends at the NRA to make sure good guys can have their guns under any circumstances to keep all of us safe.
If you are interested in playing Santa, please e-mail me through the “CONTACT” link at the top of the page.
Wife shot; Memphis man charged with murder
All I want for Christmas is an IWI Tavor SAR-B16 5.56/223 Flat Top W/Rail, 30rd AR15 Mag!
The NSPA would like to thank all of our gracious hosts at the Sandy Springs Gun Club and Range who made our stay in Georgia so pleasant while we were down there to visit with Santa and to collect guns for our Glocks For Micrococks program. While it was a productive trip that provided us plenty of time for gun loving fellowship, we must acknowledge we were a little disappointed that they said “Happy Holidays” rather than “Merry Christmas.” This is the last place in America where we thought we would have to fight the war being waged against Christmas which led to an unfortunate misunderstanding with one of the party organizers which led to a phone call to the Fulton County Sheriff’s Department.
Unfortunately we had to leave before anybody from the Sheriff’s Department arrived to clear everything up because we had to get back to Akron, OH for a screening of Kirk Cameron’s “Saving Christmas” at the Ernest Angley Grace Cathedral Church. Now Kirk Cameron is a guy who gets Christmas. He’s a guy we will go into battle with any day to fight for the true meaning of Christmas!
Georgia gun club offers weapon-wielding photo ops with Santa
A completely well reasoned, emotionally stable white guy has an AR-15 in his hands – what could possibly go wrong? NOTHING, nothing that is until the police show up to infringe on his 2nd Amendment rights.
The NSPA’s Portland chapter has an immediate job opening for our Northwestern Region Director of Recruitment Operations. This is a temporary job that will last 30 years until our current Director, Paul Alan Ropp, completes his prison sentence for using his AR-15 to defend himself from government overreach.
The Multnomah County Circuit Court may claim he was sentenced to prison for attempted aggravated murder, assaulting a law enforcement animal, burglary, conspiracy to commit burglary, attempted kidnapping, and blah blah blah. However, we here at the NSPA know the real reason. Dictator Obama is preparing (with financing provided by that conniving shylock Michael Bloomberg) to lock up gun owners throughout America (or what’s left of it) in FEMA concentration camps. It is in their interest to make pre-emptive strikes and arrest as many small penised Patriots as possible now so there won’t be anybody left to stand up to them when they enact their plan.
Man who shot Portland cop with AR-15, killed police dog gets 30 years in prison
Sure, Shawn Nicely from our Mount Jackson chapter has been charged in the death of his neighbor because of one little bullet that just happened to go slightly stray from the target he was using for practice, but this was nothing more than an uncommon accident that hardly ever happens anymore thanks to the diligent work of our good friends at the NRA.
Just ask our big buddy Wayne LaPierre, the NRA’s CEO and Executive Vice President who recently said, “Teaching safe and responsible gun ownership works, and the NRA has a long and proud history of doing exactly that. Our Eddie Eagle Child Safety Program has taught 25 million young people that if they see a gun, they should do four things: stop, don’t touch it, leave the area, and call an adult. As a result of this and other private-sector programs, fatal firearms accidents are at the lowest level in 100 years.”
As we here at the NSPA always like to point out, you’re more likely to get struck by lightning than to be killed by a gun accident. According to the National Weather Service there have been 26 lightning related deaths in the United States so far this year. According to a nationwide survey of law enforcement records there have only been 1,454 people who have died as a result of accidental shootings so far this year. Granted, there have been 1,428 more deaths this year attributed to accidental shootings than to lightning strikes based on these statistics, but I would like to point out that there are still two and a half weeks left in this year and I saw on the news that it has been raining heavily on the West Coast the past few days so that probably means there will be a lot of thunderstorms which will probably mean a lot of people will die from lightning strikes before the end of the year which will prove once again that you’re more likely to get struck by lightning than to be killed in a gun accident. CASE CLOSED!
Arrest in Deadly Shooting Accident in Mount Jackson
It is with heavy hearts and inverted penises that we regretfully announce the passing of Danny Tutor from our Tupelo, Mississippi chapter who tragically lost his life Tuesday night in what the Lee County Sheriff’s Department is calling a case of murder/suicide. We here at the NSPA beg to differ. We are calling this a case of a man can only listen to so much nagging from his wife before she pushes him too far. Meanwhile, the local media is having a field day pretending to be the New York Times by making so much of the fact that Danny used one of the many guns in his house to shoot his wife multiple times before turning the gun on himself. The Lee County Sheriff’s Department is asking for anybody with additional information on this case to contact them. Hopefully they will be able to get to the bottom of this and determine what Danny’s wife was nagging him about to cause all of this to happen.
Saltillo man shoots wife, kills self
The United States is turning into a nanny state populated by a bunch of wussies! My daddy Judah Harvey Hannity whupped me plenty of times with a switch and even shot me a couple of times when I acted up, and I turned out to be a perfectly well adjusted adult man. But I guess that was a different time that is now long gone now that we have Dictator Obama in office and parents get hauled away by the jack booted police thugs for disciplining their children the old fashioned way.
Please pray to Jesus Christ to get Travis Blake Carlton (see, there is something about guys with three names and membership in the NSPA) from our Pickens County chapter out of jail. Here’s a father who was actually involved in his son’s life and cared enough about his son to try to teach him right from wrong by delivering a little fatherly discipline. It’s not like his son is going to die or anything, but that doesn’t matter because the government just sees another white guy whose gun needs to be confiscated.
Deputies: Father charged with attempted murder in shooting of 4-year-old
Sean Houle, NSPA ace outdoorsman from our Boston chapter, has been on loan to the NRA, our sister organization or more like our brother organization because sister organization sounds kind of feminine and we here in the NSPA are completely masculine in every way, for the past year to help them restructure the NRA’s Hunter Services Division. Below we have reprinted just a small sample of the information Sean and the NRA have posted @ http://hservices.nra.org
When it comes to hunting and skills training, America’s 13.7 million hunters have known for years where to go: the NRA. Working in cooperation with the state of New York in 1949, we developed hunter safety training as it’s known today. Since then, as our proven hunting education principles have been adopted by one state and province after another, we’ve expanded our services and assistance to hunters.
Advanced training for young hunters. The latest research and tactics for hunting success. Public works that benefit hunters. With all this and more, it’s easy to see why NRA is the number-one hunters’ organization in America. For more information, call us at (800) 492-4868 or email firstname.lastname@example.org.
Deer hunter mistakenly shoots jogger on Cape Cod
Scott Peters from our Chicago chapter sits in jail for attempted murder, aggravated battery, and discharge of a firearm at a police officer for allegedly shooting McHenry County Sheriff’s deputies Khalia Satkiewicz and Dwight Maness on Oct. 16. In addition to that miscarriage of justice, his 67 year old aunt, Kathryn Kriepki, who gave him the gun used in that incident, has just been charged with delivering firearms to someone who does not possess a Firearm Owner’s Identification card.
Look at the face of this noble white man. Does he really look like somebody capable of an erratic, violent attack against law enforcement officers? Also, we want to know why any law enforcement officers near Chicago would spend any of their time harassing good Christian white people when there are so many black people shooting each other in Chicago.
Okay, Gregory Graf from our Lehigh Valley chapter has been charged with shooting his stepdaughter to death and will likely be charged with sexually abusing her corpse. Not to change the subject, but we’re pretty sure some black people shot some other black people in Chicago this weekend.
Pa. man charged with stepdaughter’s murder might have abused her corpse, DA says
We here at the NSPA don’t want to toot our own horns about the advances that have been made by white guys with small penises since we started our work two years ago, but we’ve got to point out the obvious: White guys who have small penises are becoming cool now, just like the Rat Pack (with the exception of that Sammy Davis Jr., who we always thought was the weak link in the Rat Pack, in fact we could never understand why he got more attention than Joey Bishop) was in the 60s. Check out this picture of four of our fellow Patriots who represent the very finest in the White Puny Penis Pride movement who just happened to be in Memphis and decided to take a group photo and just randomly selected the Lorraine Motel which by sheer coincidence they later found out happened to be where Martin Luther King Jr. was assassinated.
In other news, we are excited to report the 2015 NSPA national convention will be held in Jackson, Tennessee. We are still working on the dates and selecting the hotel. We will be posting more information soon so you can plan your vacation time to join us for three days of fellowship.
Free John Guzy! Small penised Patriots of the world, UNITE! Okay, Patriots, we must rally behind the great white Patriot John Guzy who was arraigned today in Chenango County Court for doing nothing more than standing his ground against the annoyance of people who drive the speed limit. After the police (doing the bidding of the gun hating Dictator Obama) arrested Mr. Guzy, they violated the sanctity of his home and confiscated all of his guns. Apparently, nothing is sacred anymore.
Shooting survivor recounts deadly traffic dispute
After all of the dog shooting stories we’ve posted over the past few months, we here at the NSPA are thrilled that an unknown armed Patriot has finally gotten around to using his gun to shoot a cat. It is a well known fact that witches can shape shift into cats, but Pope Innocent VIII put it best in 1484 when he said, “the cat was the devil’s favourite animal and idol of all witches.” The gunman in this case was doing the Lord’s work.
Stray cat’s leg amputated after shooting – ‘Peggy,’ a 1-year-old tabby, is up for adoption
Once again a white, small penised Patriot who has three names, Glenn Allen Taylor, needs our Christian prayers to help him escape from his government confinement in jail for doing nothing more than shooting his wife in the back of her head in self defense during a domestic dispute that I’m sure she probably initiated by nagging him for something stupid, like most women do. As the article linked below clearly documents, Patriot Allen had no choice other than to defend himself from his wife by shooting her in the back of her head because she had a knife and was threatening to damage one of his paintings. Hello, Dorchester County Sheriff’s Department, haven’t any of you ever heard of justifiable homicide?
Ladson man says he fatally shot wife in self defense
Jody Lee Hunt may have killed four white people today with his gun, but don’t let that distract us from the real threat we face from black on black violence, just like Rudy Giuliani warned us about because there are hardly any heavily armed, emotionally immature, unstable white guys who lack coping skills and nurse a score of grudges while wallowing in an endless simmer of self pity.
W.Va. Shooter Held Personal, Professional Grudges
Sure, a lot of egg headed gun haters will point to the incident at David Eckhardt’s home as an example of why the presence of a lot of guns in a house will increase the likelihood of a family member being shot, but these are the same agenda driven Marxists who insist the presence of a lot of human created carbon dioxide in the atmosphere will eventually have irreversible, systemic, long term consequences for every living creature on the face of this planet.
Don’t believe the “climate change” lies. Human produced carbon dioxide in the atmosphere is as harmless as an emotionally unstable white guy with a gun in his hand.
Man shoots his wife, father at home
43-year-old kills himself; victims remain in hospital
FREE KENNETH CAPLAN!
The NSPA Houston chapter is working furiously to free our fellow small penised Patriot Kenneth Caplan, who was arrested by Houston police (we never would have thought any police department in Texas would have been infiltrated by Marxist Islamic agents intent on confiscating our guns) for doing nothing more than using his Second Amendment right to stand his ground against women drivers.
Off-Duty Cop Allegedly Shoots Woman In Head During Road Rage Incident
Please pray for the speedy recovery of our spiritual brother Patriot Raymond Johnson. The Oregon City police (government thugs who secretly hate armed white Patriots, if you ask me) suspect he was injured by a self inflicted gunshot after he shot and killed his wife in their home while their two children were in the house. This was probably an accident that occurred while I’m guessing he was showing her how to safely clean a gun when she suddenly distracted him by nagging him like only a woman can and then while I’m sure he was calmly trying to redirect her to a peaceful state of mind the gun fell to the floor and shot her and then bounced up and shot him.
Some liberal haters may point out that Johnson was a registered sex offender and never should have been allowed to own a gun. Then they’ll start whining that this case is an example of why background checks should be required before all gun purchases. Leave it to the liberals to miss the central issue here, NAGGING WIVES!
Wife dies, husband critical in Oregon double shooting
LARRY MCQUILLIAMS – REST IN PEACE, WELL ARMED, SMALL PENISED WHITE MAN!
This is a sad day for the National Small Penis Association as proud Patriot Larry McQuilliams lost his life today after his noble attempt to burn down the Mexican consulate in Austin, Texas to keep those large penised brown skinned people out of OUR country and his brave pre-emptive strike against the government and its plan to confiscate our guns by shooting over 100 rounds of ammunition into a United States Federal Courthouse and the Austin Police Department headquarters.
While we may have to bid farewell to our small penised brother, we can take solace in the knowledge that Truth Tellers like Glenn Beck and Michael Savage are still around to get other fellow Patriots riled up against our government and local law enforcement officials.
We can also be thankful that Republican Governor Elect Greg Abbott has vowed to sign a bill to legalize open carry in Texas as soon the legislation reaches his desk. We are only sad, though, that proud Patriot Larry McQuilliams will not live to see that glorious day.
Austin gunman has criminal history
“I am an avid collector, and my hobby is no more dangerous than if I were to collect stamps,” the father wrote. His wife called that “ridiculous” in another court document.
Yes, gun collecting is no more dangerous than stamp collecting. I couldn’t have said it better myself. This insightful quote was given by a brave Patriot from Lake Stevens, Washington whose 3 year old son was accidently shot by a 4 year old neighbor with one of his unsecured guns in his home. This Patriot’s nagging ex-wife had been acting like a horrible harpy and complained about the dangers posed by all of the guns he kept around the house during their divorce proceedings. The 4 year old neighbor could have just as easily poked the 3 year old’s eye out with those tweezers used to pick up stamps, but you won’t hear Moms Demand Action calling for stamp bans. Welcome to Obama’s America!
Parents of Lake Stevens boy shot in mouth had argued about guns in home
If Dictator Obama gets his way and confiscates our guns, bananas are all we will have to defend ourselves with. Until then we must continue our struggle to put a real gun in the hand of every white guy, particularly those who may be prone to poor judgment, in America. Only then will we be able to take our country back.
I predict by the end of the week Michael Bloomberg will be calling for a ban on banana sales in New York City. Heaven help us!
Colorado man arrested after pointing banana at officers like a gun
Sadly, this is one time that the dog comes out ahead of the totally stable white guy with a gun. The American flag outside the NSPA office is flying at half staff today to honor the memory of our brother, Dennis Emery, who only had 34 run-ins with the Pinellas Park police over the last 2 years. I hope that damn border collie is pleased with itself.
Police: Man threatened dog, fatally shot self
LINDSEY GRAHAM – THE FIST OF TRUTH AND JUSTICE!
Lindsey Graham, one of the NSPA’s favorite Senators, gets his fist ready once again to deliver some truth and justice. Below is the post I entered on his Facebook page to thank him for speaking truth to power. – Lee Greenwood Hannity
Lindsey, thank you for calling out the House Benghazi report for, as you said, being “full of crap.” The report, which was produced by the Republican controlled House Intelligence committee, cleared the Obama administration of committing any improper actions, but you are thankfully ready to get to the bottom of this obviously fixed report. I’m glad you said it was “full of crap” because I’ve heard you are very good at prying open and probing things that are full of crap. I’m sure you’re ready to roll up your shirt sleeves and get your hands dirty. In fact, I’m so sure of your abilities that I’m going to give you a well deserved nickname, The Fist of Truth and Justice. Stick it to them, Lindsey!
Lindsey Graham Won’t Accept New Benghazi Report: It’s ‘Full Of Crap’
If you have three names,……you might be a member of the National Small Penis Association.
Curtis Wade Holley, another middle aged white guy who loved guns and hated the government. Oh, and he killed a Sheriff’s Deputy in an ambush attack. Where would the National Small Penis Associaton be without Patriots like him?
Man Who Ambushed Cops Had Anti-Government Beliefs
Let’s not jump to conclusions. Nicholas Tuinstra looks like a perfectly stable white guy so I’m sure there may have been a reason he shot and killed his estranged wife and her boyfriend. He may have simply stopped by the house to get his beer can collection and his Ted Nugent cds when he slipped on a patch of snow on the sidewalk, causing his gun to fall out of his coat pocket (Wisconsin has concealed carry – thank you, Scott Walker). The gun probably hit the sidewalk and accidentally discharged. It’s not like he’s an emotionally immature, unstable cry baby white guy who can’t handle the typical disappointments that life offers everybody.
Weapon sought in Berlin double killing, described as domestic violence
TREVOR LEE WHITE, ARMED WITH JUST A GUN AND HIS MIGHTY MITE, TRIED TO KEEP THE CITIZENS OF SNOW CAMP, NORTH CAROLINA SAFE FROM THE CHANCE OF A FAMILY DOG’S BITE. THE COWARDLY POLICE CAVED TO THE LIBERALS AND THE TRITE AND ARRESTED THIS BRAVE PATRIOT TUESDAY NIGHT, BUT THE NATIONAL SMALL PENIS ASSOCIATION HAS JUST BEGUN THE FIGHT!
Dr. Seuss (actually this is how we think Dr. Seuss would have written this if he had been born with a very small penis)
Man charged with animal cruelty after dog shot, killed
Man reportedly bragged about killing dog in Facebook video
Read more: http://www.wxii12.com/news/Man-charged-with-animal-cruelty-after-dog-shot-killed/29837042#ixzz3JjOB8rne
Another good guy with a gun uses his God given 2nd Amendment rights to put down a vicious beast. Hopefully the government sanctioned police force will not apprehend the brave small penised Patriot who committed this act of bravery.
Readers react after Holland Township dog shot, body dumped in ravine
PHILIP SAILORS – NSPA SENIOR CIRCUIT
Philip Sailors shot and killed Rodrigo Diaz after Mr. Diaz mistakenly pulled into his driveway while trying to find a friend’s home to take him roller skating. When Mr. Sailors saw a brown skinned man in his driveway, he had no choice but to stand his ground with a gun and hollow tipped bullets. When Mr. Diaz started to back his car out of the driveway, Mr. Sailors had no choice but to continue standing his ground even as the unarmed young man was trying to drive away. Thankfully Mr. Sailors only received a sentence of one year of probation and a $500 fine. With Dictator Obama preparing to let 5 million illegal brown skinned people stay in this country, we need all of the small penised Patriots we can get to guard our driveways.
Thomas E. Fallis, a good white guy with a gun who happened to accidentally shoot his wife in the head while doing nothing more than trying to get her to stop smoking, is facing jail time if we fail to act in his defense. While the courts are focusing on her death, they are ignoring the fact that he did get her to stop smoking, thereby rescuing her from a long, painful, eventual death from lung cancer. The National Small Penis Association has just established The Small Penis Legal Defense Fund to help defend innocent white guys like Mr. Fallis who have been arrested for exercising their 2nd Amendment Rights.
Former deputy arrested in wife’s 2012 Weld County shooting death
Oklahoma Republican Governor Mary Fallin – NSPA Woman of the Year for 2014!
Though she may not have a penis, we are sure Republican Governor Mary Fallin would have a very small one if women could have penises because she is a National Small Penis Association member at heart. When she is not busy doing the Lord’s work in fighting against raising the minimum wage in Oklahoma, Governor Fallin is straining to exude contrived macho swagger in displaying her love for guns. In other words, she’s our kind of girl!
Click the link below to watch Governor Fallin drive a tank to crush a car and shoot a M134 Gatling gun at the grand opening of a shooting range that serves alcohol. Shooting ranges and alcohol go together just like Governor Fallin and men who have small penises.
Wilshire Gun becomes first range in state to sell alcohol
Gov. Mary Fallin kicks off grand opening by driving tank
Once again, an armed Patriot uses his gun to protect himself from a vicious beast. If New Hampshire didn’t have open carry, the Patriot would have been covered in slobber.
ROBERT J. KINNISON – THE FUTURE OF THE NSPA!
The National Small Penis Association is proud to award Robert J. Kinnison our Rising Star award for 2014 for his stalwart work to counteract the shrill voices of those nagging harpies over at Moms Demand Action. Robert is a proud proponent of White Pride, and we are so proud to count him as one of us here at the NSPA. Robert embodies that special magic that occurs when white guys with small penises are paired with powerful guns. Robert, we expect big things from you in 2015, and we’ll be watching you all the way.
Happy #VeteransDay to all. And it is nice to have Sgt. Andrew Tahmooressi back home.
I only wish I could wish Donald Trump a happy Veterans Day, but I can’t because he never served. Those liars at The Daily News say he finagled a medical deferment, which doesn’t match with his claims that he didn’t serve in Vietnam because he had a high draft number. Well, what do you expect from the lamestream media?
Here’s a picture from the National Small Penis Association/Open Carry Texas party we had in Galveston over the weekend. Clyde demonstrates his effective gun placement technique to add that special sense of adequacy only a gun can provide.
Please visit the KSTP-TV5 facebook page so you can click the like button to support all of the good work they are doing. I just visited their page and posted the following message:
Dear KSTP-TV5 Minneapolis ABC affiliate, thank you for your Emmy worthy news coverage of mayor Betsy Hodges’ scandalous decision to take a picture with a young black man and flash what were obviously gang signs. While the liberal whiners in your audience (Minneapolis after all gave us Hubert Humphrey so there are plenty of these types in the city) complained that this was shoddy, racist, agenda driven, poorly researched hack work that can’t even be categorized as journalism, I disagree. Your news department only wants to keep us safe. I’m doing my part by passing along a picture I found of Mary Richards, an employee of a rival Minneapolis TV station’s news department, flashing obvious gang signs to her coworker, Sue Ann Nivens. Please have your great reporter Jay Kolls look into this and help keep Minneapolis safe.
Woodville officer Steve Gilkerson saves the day by using his gun to disable a curious chocolate Labrador retriever. White guys with guns to the rescue once again.
Residents react with shock over shooting of dog
Mayor, police chief support officer
Wilcox County, Georgia 1950s
Despite what all of the pundits said about Georgia being in play for the Democrats, the small penised white guy vote came out and kept Georgia RED!
EVEN BETTER NEWS THAN ALL OF THE REPUBLICAN VICTORIES LAST NIGHT!
The Bullet That Could Make 3-D Printed Guns Practical Deadly Weapons
DON SURBER RECEIVES THE NATIONAL SMALL PENIS ASSOCIATION’S EXCELLENCE IN JOURNALISM AWARD FOR 2014!
The NSPA has awarded Charleston Daily Mail editorial columnist our Excellence in Journalism Award for providing an eloquent voice on behalf of emotionally insecure, stridently obnoxious small penised white guys who are regularly victimized and ignored by the lamestream liberal media. Don provided a fine sample of his writing style on his personal blog in which he referred to Michael Brown as an animal who had to be put down by Officer Darren Wilson. Don Surber’s keen intellect and insight serve as a benchmark for all aspiring journalists in America.
Please contact Don to congratulate him on his award. email@example.com
White guys with guns – a winning combination!
Police probe fatal Putnam shooting
“Passing along a family tradition of hunting and shooting is not something that we should have to ask our leaders for permission to do,” Indiana Governor Mike Pence (R) said at the NRA national convention in Indianapolis, Indiana this past April. Mike, I couldn’t have said it better myself.
Baby dies after gun accident in Kokomo, Indiana
Drunken trombone-playing clown fires gun from garage, police say
Follow on Twitter
on October 21, 2014 at 2:22 PM, updated October 21, 2014 at 2:54 PM
GRAND TRAVERSE COUNTY, MI — Police arrested a 54-year-old man after he was allegedly seen wearing camouflage pants and a clown mask, shooting a gun at a can in the street. Grand Traverse County sheriff’s deputies said the man also was seen playing a trombone at one point, all the while as he stood in a garage. The man, described as intoxicated, was arrested for a personal protection order violation. No one was hurt and the gun turned out to be a pellet gun.
Deputies responded at about 10:30 a.m. Monday, Oct. 20 to a Blair Township residence on a report of a man, standing in a garage, pointing a firearm at surrounding houses. A caller to 911 said the man also was shooting at a can in the road. The caller told dispatchers the man was “wearing camo pants and a clown mask and at one point was playing a trombone.” Deputies arrived at the scene, determined the man was drunk, and arrested the man on the personal protection order violation. No one was injured.
Sure, take away his gun, and all he’ll be able to protect himself with is a clown horn. This is life in Obama’s America, and this is why we must support the NRA.
GOPer DeMaio Mocked Dem Staffer With Photo Of Overweight Woman
I congratulated congressional candidate Carl DeMaio on his facebook page for this hilarious joke, but some liberal operative hacked his page and removed my post and blocked me from ever posting anything on the page again. It’s a shame that Carl won’t be able to see it, but I just wanted to let him know how funny I thought his e-mail was. I told him I would have only thought that some of the old frat boys I know could have made a joke this funny. I told him the e-mail joke shows how far our society has come that an openly gay Republican (it still doesn’t feel quite right to type that) can make a mean spirited attack on an overweight woman’s appearance. It used to be just frat boy types who could do that. I never thought those gays like DeMaio would care about something like that. I told him that it taught me I should keep an open mind about his people. He has shown me that in many ways he is just like a lot of my buddies and me, except for that anal sex stuff. Please visit Carl DeMaio’s facebook page to let him know how much you appreciate his barrier breaking sense of humor.
KEVIN DUPRE, NATIONAL SMALL PENIS ASSOCIATION OFFICER OF THE YEAR!
Though it is only October, I have made an editorial decision for the NSPA to name Kevin Dupre from the Cleburne, Texas police department as our Officer of the Year. As you will see in this video, Officer Dupre risked life and limb to protect the good people of Cleburne from these vicious dogs who were playing in a drainage ditch. Please call the Cleburne police department at (817) 645-0972 to congratulate them on Officer Dupre’s award.
Video shows officer coaxing friendly pets closer with kissing noises before opening fire.
It’s a sad day for insecure, small penised white guys all across America. There’s nothing we brave Christian conservative white guys hate more than the culture of victimization, except when we are actually the real victims. http://www.mediaite.com/tv/michael-dunn-in-newly-released-jailhouse-phone-call-im-the-fcking-victim/
Michael Dunn sentenced to life in ‘loud music’ trial
‘NEW GIRL’, THE NEW FACE OF HATE
After watching the latest ‘New Girl’ episode ‘Micro’, I realized that I am a member of the one remaining marginalized group that smug, self satisfied Hollywood types feel free to ridicule and denigrate. While the ‘New Girl’ producers would never center an entire episode around racist jokes directed toward any number of minority groups, they felt no hesitation to make an endless stream of jokes about a man who has a small penis. It saddens me that we here at The National Small Penis Association still have so much work ahead of us to advocate for the rights and dignity of men who have small penises. However, I am now only more determined than ever to continue my work so that one day a little boy who is born with a small penis can grow up to be a man with a small penis and feel no shame about it. By that way, ‘New Girl’ will never be as funny as ‘That Girl’ because Marlo Thomas and Ted Bessell never needed to make cheap jokes about men who have small penises. – Lee Greenwood Hannity
I’M IN LOVE! I never thought I would find a woman who hates Muslims and loves guns as much as I do. It’s as if Lindsey Graham had been born with a vagina and was biblically able to accept the love of a man.
Well, if she hadn’t “jokingly slapped” him, there’s a good chance none of this would have happened. I don’t hear Nancy Pelosi calling for a ban on joking slapping. So the liberal fingers will accusingly point on cue at the emotionally insecure white guy who feels the need to carry a gun with him at a social gathering in a desperate attempt to overcome long harbored feelings of inadequacy. #sotypical
Our friend Mitch is under attack, and we must rally behind him! While checking Senator McConnell’s facebook page, I was shocked to see that some Godless liberal operative hacked the page to photoshop this picture to make it look like a wolverine is giving the Honorable Senator a hand job. Call Senator McConnell’s office at (202) 224-2541 to let him know we don’t believe for a second that he would ever get a hand job from a wolverine.
“The only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun.”, Wayne LaPierre. Apparently a gun is also effective at stopping an autistic boy’s therapy dog.
Home brewers may be annoying, but there is nothing cooler than guys who make their own guns at home.
I suppose the lamestream media would have been happier if he had left it loaded so a six year old child could find it and shoot another child by accident. This man was simply practicing simple gun safety.
The Sons of Confederate Veterans are preserving the legacy of small penised white guys who clutched on to their guns to fight our government. It’s a century and a half later, and we’re still carrying on the fight.
Forget the liberal lie that dog is man’s best friend. The gun is man’s best friend!
Newfield dog shot twice is in stable condition
This fight is just beginning. Again, middle aged white guys with guns are the only ones we can count on to keep dogs in their place.
Who let the God damn dogs out?! Once again, it’s up to a well armed, middle aged white guy to save the day.
I’m sure this all could have been avoided if Mr. Spirit had gone to the NRA’s www.nrafamilyinsights.org website and clicked on the ‘Family Fun & Adventure’ link.
Don Spirit kills six grandchildren, daughter and himself in Florida shooting, sheriff says
Before there was The National Small Penis Association, there were these guys. (Galveston Bay, Texas – 1981)
Guns don’t kill people. Drunken middle aged brothers trying to reenact a fancy gun twirling stunt from a largely forgotten 1993 western kill people.
‘Tombstone’ stunt goes horribly wrong at Florida woman’s birthday party
DON’T MESS WITH TEXAS, and don’t mess with insecure, emotionally immature white men who have small penises and are disappointed with the way their lives turned out and vent their mixture of self pity and crybaby rage by shooting whoever happens to be in their line of fire in Texas. If push comes to shove, this is how The National Small Penis Association rolls in Texas.
Sammuel Everett Toomey Charged In Corpus Christi Trailer Park Shooting
We need a well armed militia to protect ourselves from our government when they come to round us up for the FEMA camps and from dogs who get loose from their back yards. Stand your ground!
Off-Duty Tulsa cop shoots, kills neighborhood dog
Why should our government waste money on Head Start when the money could be more wisely spent on teaching toddlers to shoot automatic weapons?
Where Kids as Young as 5 Learn to Shoot Automatic Weapons
Guns don’t hurt people. Porcelain toilets hurt people.
Umm, I must respectfully decline the Asafo Gun Club’s invitation to meet them at their headquarters because I, umm, am getting ready to take my mother to go see the Oak Ridge Boys in concert in Branson, MO. Thanks for the invitation, though. – Lee Greenwood Hannity
Mitt, I know just how you feel. I would have done a better job of impregnating Scarlett Johansson than her fiancé. – Lee Greenwood Hannity
WASHINGTON (AP) — Former GOP presidential candidate Mitt Romney says there is no question in his mind that he would have been more effective in the White House than President Barack Obama. But he reiterates he has no plans to run again.
Duck Dynasty patriarch Phil Robertson was on Hannity to share his wisdom on how to handle the threat from ISIS. It’s just a shame he didn’t get to go to Vietnam to put this type of Git-R-Done attitude into practice. Instead, he got a deferment to avoid service after getting married in 1966. There is nothing more inspiring than hearing how he would handle himself if he faced life and death danger in the heat of war. Well, I guess it would be a little more inspiring if he had actually faced this type of danger when it had been his turn to serve, but it’s still pretty inspiring. Please click the link to see this brilliant interview.
Well, many Viet Cong soldiers may have dodged a lot of bullets because of his absence in the jungles, but a lot of ducks in Louisiana weren’t so lucky.
Okay, so even though the Shoot Straight gun range in Casselberry, FL featured in my last post was the site five years ago of a mother/son murder/suicide, it just goes to show that we need more guns, even at gun ranges, to prevent these types of incidents.
I don’t look at this as an accident. I look at it as a bonding experience. It’s just typical liberal media spin trying to scare people about guns.
TED NUGENT, HE MAY HAVE GONE TO GREAT LENGTHS TO AVOID SERVICE IN VIETNAM, BUT SOMEBODY HAD TO STAY HOME TO THIN OUT THE DEER POPULATION TO REDUCE THE NUMBER OF CARS DAMAGED BY HITTING DEER.
Happy 50th Wedding Anniversary to Mr. and Mrs. Dick Cheney!
Congratulations to Dick Cheney, one of our biggest heroes here at the National Small Penis Association, and his lovely wife, Lynne. Thank you Jesus for bringing this couple together in marriage and giving Dick a good excuse to get multiple deferments to avoid serving in Vietnam. If he had been sent to actually fight in a war that he supported, he might have been killed and never would have been able to liberate Iraq.
TYPICAL LIBERAL MEDIA DOUBLE STANDARD!
The liberal media went gaga reporting that a 13 year old girl threw a 70 mph fastball like it was the greatest thing in the world while it carried on like a crybaby ninny reporting that a 9 year old girl fired an Uzi like it was the worst thing in the world. What else would you expect from the liberal media?
A 9-Year-Old at a Shooting Range, a Spraying Uzi and Outrage
Just like Wayne LaPierre said, nothing delivers security and justice like a good guy with a gun.
Bond Set for White Cop Who Allegedly Shot Daughter’s Black Boyfriend
Kevin Sorbo is a big favorite with the members of the National Small Penis Association. Though his career as an action star may have ended many years ago, I think he has a future in comedy. There is nothing funnier than jokes about bombs in places of worship.
Come to think of it, maybe a few reasonable regulations on open carry wouldn’t be such a bad thing.
Dallas Huey P. Newton Gun Club Plans Open Carry-Type Rally « CBS Dallas / Fort Worth
MISSISSIPPIGUNNEWS.COM —- ONLY THE GREATEST WEBSITE EVER!
EAT IT, NINA SIMONE
THE FIRST ROUNDS ( .45 ACP and Keystone Light) WILL BE ON THE NSPA
Alcohol and gun shows go together like unregulated fertilizer plants and school buildings. Just two more reasons why Texas rules!!!!
Texas board considers allowing alcohol at gun shows
A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.
Taking a Bullet, Gaining a Cause: James S. Brady Dies at 73
WHEN WILL OUR VICTIMIZATION END?
I have called an immediate NSPA executive council meeting to stop this horrible persecution of Come and Take It Texas, our brothers in arms and small penises in Texas, who are bravely openly carrying their big guns in public only to be mocked and harassed by these heartless harlots. Governor Perry, I am praying to Jesus Christ right now that you will send the National Guard so you can protect them until we are able to deploy to Austin. We will keep you posted. Pray (just to Jesus Christ because those are the only prayers that get heard after all) for us, please.
WATCH: Topless Texans Spar With Open Carry Activists: ‘Boobs For Peace!’
OY VEY, BLOOMBERG, WE’RE ON TO YOU!
NRA Lobbyist Belittles Any Jew Who Backs Gun Control Because The Holocaust
GUNS DON’T KILL PEOPLE…emotionally unstable teenagers who grow up to be lawyers who devote their lives to providing unfettered access to semi automatic assault rifles kill people. So can we finally stop trying to ban guns with needless legislation? Thank you.
Look, if we’re going to have a well armed militia to protect us from our government, we’re going to need to crack a few eggs to make an omelet.
William DeHayes – NSPA Charter Member
CRUISING WITH SENATOR GRAHAM!!!
We here at the NSPA swell with pride all over different parts of our bodies when we spend time by ourselves and look at these pictures of conservative Christian Senator Lindsey Graham out cruising to look for any muscular young men in military uniforms who have been sent out with marching orders by our dictator Obama to confiscate our guns and then to force us on our knees in a dark alley so they can commit acts of depravity on our quivering, sweaty bodies over and over and over and over again. Senator Graham, thank you. It is so comforting to know we have you covering our backs.
IT’S NOT OUR FAULT WE DON’T HAVE ANY BLACK GUYS IN THE NSPA
Look, I’m getting sick and tired of all the haters out there who keep pointing out that there aren’t any black guys in the National Small Penis Association. I will not compromise the integrity of the NSPA by lowering our membership eligibility standards just so I can say we have a couple of black guys as members. You won’t find any political correctness or affirmative action here. I don’t care if you’re white, black, yellow, green or blue. You just need to be able to measure up if you want to be a member. It just so happens that it’s only the white guys who measure up. I guess the haters would like me to invent some sort of radiation ray weapon that shrinks black guys’ penises. Well, haters, sorry to disappoint you, but it’s not going to happen. I’ve got more important things to do, like making sure the government doesn’t storm into our homes and confiscate our guns.
I’M BACK ONLINE, IT WAS ALL A MISUNDERSTANDING
I am happy to report my year and a half detention in Thailand is over, and I am back in the United States to fight for my small penised brothers to keep their rights to strap really big and powerful guns to their waists . No matter what you hear (there are a lot of haters out there, after all), the detention was simply a misunderstanding over my visa paperwork.
All that matters is that I’m back in the thick of the battle just in time. I see ex(thankfully)-Mayor Bloomberg is still trying to take away our rights while he isn’t busy trying to manipulate the world’s money supply. I also see Harvey Weinstein (I think I’m seeing a pattern here, I’m just saying) is crowing that he will be making an anti gun movie starring Meryl Streep to take down the NRA.
Well, Harvey, I have news for you. I made good use of my year and a half in a cramped Bangkok jail by writing the screenplay for ‘The Man With A Small Penis’, an inspirational tale about a man with a small penis and a Colt LE901-901.308 Carbine. I don’t want to give away the plot just yet, but I describe it as ‘The King’s Speech’ meets ‘Red Dawn.’ Though it’s not official, I hope to have Victoria Jackson attached to the project soon. See you at the Oscar’s, Harvey and Meryl. IT’S ON!!!!
FEBRUARY IS SMALL PENIS AWARENESS MONTH
Well, we couldn’t take our country back in November, but we can take our month of February back. We here at the NSPA are tired of black people getting all of the attention in February so we are proud to announce February is Small Penis Awareness Month. Granted, none of us here at the compound would have ever invented peanut butter if we were sitting in a laboratory filled with buckets of peanuts, but we are damn well sure it was a white guy who invented jelly. Throughout the month, we will highlight the contributions small penised white guys have made to American history and culture, like the Confederate Army, the NRA, and the Blue Collar Comedy Tour.
We will use the month to grow the Small Penis pride movement to fight our fascist government’s plot to take our guns (and our manhood) away.
There is absolutely no truth to the local media reports that Lee Greenwood Hannity, President of the National Small Penis Association, was arrested for public indecency at the Regal dollar theater in Canton last week. Mr. Hannity swears on the holy Bible that he was not masturbating in his seat during a screening of ‘Red Dawn’, which the NSPA has declared as the best film of 2012, by the way. Mr. Hannity simply spilled some popcorn on his lap and was wiping the popcorn away. Mr. Hannity will have no further comments on this vast conspiracy because he will be focused on battling the Obama administration’s upcoming assault on our gun rights. Please check back regularly for our dispatches from the front lines.