I’m sure this all could have been avoided if Mr. Spirit had gone to the NRA’s www.nrafamilyinsights.org website and clicked on the ‘Family Fun & Adventure’ link.
Don Spirit kills six grandchildren, daughter and himself in Florida shooting, sheriff says
Before there was The National Small Penis Association, there were these guys. (Galveston Bay, Texas – 1981)
Guns don’t kill people. Drunken middle aged brothers trying to reenact a fancy gun twirling stunt from a largely forgotten 1993 western kill people.
‘Tombstone’ stunt goes horribly wrong at Florida woman’s birthday party
DON’T MESS WITH TEXAS, and don’t mess with insecure, emotionally immature white men who have small penises and are disappointed with the way their lives turned out and vent their mixture of self pity and crybaby rage by shooting whoever happens to be in their line of fire in Texas. If push comes to shove, this is how The National Small Penis Association rolls in Texas.
Sammuel Everett Toomey Charged In Corpus Christi Trailer Park Shooting
We need a well armed militia to protect ourselves from our government when they come to round us up for the FEMA camps and from dogs who get loose from their back yards. Stand your ground!
Off-Duty Tulsa cop shoots, kills neighborhood dog
Why should our government waste money on Head Start when the money could be more wisely spent on teaching toddlers to shoot automatic weapons?
Where Kids as Young as 5 Learn to Shoot Automatic Weapons
Guns don’t hurt people. Porcelain toilets hurt people.
Umm, I must respectfully decline the Asafo Gun Club’s invitation to meet them at their headquarters because I, umm, am getting ready to take my mother to go see the Oak Ridge Boys in concert in Branson, MO. Thanks for the invitation, though. – Lee Greenwood Hannity
Mitt, I know just how you feel. I would have done a better job of impregnating Scarlett Johansson than her fiancé. – Lee Greenwood Hannity
WASHINGTON (AP) — Former GOP presidential candidate Mitt Romney says there is no question in his mind that he would have been more effective in the White House than President Barack Obama. But he reiterates he has no plans to run again.
Duck Dynasty patriarch Phil Robertson was on Hannity to share his wisdom on how to handle the threat from ISIS. It’s just a shame he didn’t get to go to Vietnam to put this type of Git-R-Done attitude into practice. Instead, he got a deferment to avoid service after getting married in 1966. There is nothing more inspiring than hearing how he would handle himself if he faced life and death danger in the heat of war. Well, I guess it would be a little more inspiring if he had actually faced this type of danger when it had been his turn to serve, but it’s still pretty inspiring. Please click the link to see this brilliant interview.
Well, many Viet Cong soldiers may have dodged a lot of bullets because of his absence in the jungles, but a lot of ducks in Louisiana weren’t so lucky.
Okay, so even though the Shoot Straight gun range in Casselberry, FL featured in my last post was the site five years ago of a mother/son murder/suicide, it just goes to show that we need more guns, even at gun ranges, to prevent these types of incidents.
I don’t look at this as an accident. I look at it as a bonding experience. It’s just typical liberal media spin trying to scare people about guns.
TED NUGENT, HE MAY HAVE GONE TO GREAT LENGTHS TO AVOID SERVICE IN VIETNAM, BUT SOMEBODY HAD TO STAY HOME TO THIN OUT THE DEER POPULATION TO REDUCE THE NUMBER OF CARS DAMAGED BY HITTING DEER.
Happy 50th Wedding Anniversary to Mr. and Mrs. Dick Cheney!
Congratulations to Dick Cheney, one of our biggest heroes here at the National Small Penis Association, and his lovely wife, Lynne. Thank you Jesus for bringing this couple together in marriage and giving Dick a good excuse to get multiple deferments to avoid serving in Vietnam. If he had been sent to actually fight in a war that he supported, he might have been killed and never would have been able to liberate Iraq.
TYPICAL LIBERAL MEDIA DOUBLE STANDARD!
The liberal media went gaga reporting that a 13 year old girl threw a 70 mph fastball like it was the greatest thing in the world while it carried on like a crybaby ninny reporting that a 9 year old girl fired an Uzi like it was the worst thing in the world. What else would you expect from the liberal media?
A 9-Year-Old at a Shooting Range, a Spraying Uzi and Outrage
Just like Wayne LaPierre said, nothing delivers security and justice like a good guy with a gun.
Bond Set for White Cop Who Allegedly Shot Daughter’s Black Boyfriend
Kevin Sorbo is a big favorite with the members of the National Small Penis Association. Though his career as an action star may have ended many years ago, I think he has a future in comedy. There is nothing funnier than jokes about bombs in places of worship.
Come to think of it, maybe a few reasonable regulations on open carry wouldn’t be such a bad thing.
Dallas Huey P. Newton Gun Club Plans Open Carry-Type Rally « CBS Dallas / Fort Worth
MISSISSIPPIGUNNEWS.COM —- ONLY THE GREATEST WEBSITE EVER!
EAT IT, NINA SIMONE
THE FIRST ROUNDS ( .45 ACP and Keystone Light) WILL BE ON THE NSPA
Alcohol and gun shows go together like unregulated fertilizer plants and school buildings. Just two more reasons why Texas rules!!!!
Texas board considers allowing alcohol at gun shows
A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.
Taking a Bullet, Gaining a Cause: James S. Brady Dies at 73
WHEN WILL OUR VICTIMIZATION END?
I have called an immediate NSPA executive council meeting to stop this horrible persecution of Come and Take It Texas, our brothers in arms and small penises in Texas, who are bravely openly carrying their big guns in public only to be mocked and harassed by these heartless harlots. Governor Perry, I am praying to Jesus Christ right now that you will send the National Guard so you can protect them until we are able to deploy to Austin. We will keep you posted. Pray (just to Jesus Christ because those are the only prayers that get heard after all) for us, please.
WATCH: Topless Texans Spar With Open Carry Activists: ‘Boobs For Peace!’
OY VEY, BLOOMBERG, WE’RE ON TO YOU!
NRA Lobbyist Belittles Any Jew Who Backs Gun Control Because The Holocaust
GUNS DON’T KILL PEOPLE…emotionally unstable teenagers who grow up to be lawyers who devote their lives to providing unfettered access to semi automatic assault rifles kill people. So can we finally stop trying to ban guns with needless legislation? Thank you.
Look, if we’re going to have a well armed militia to protect us from our government, we’re going to need to crack a few eggs to make an omelet.
William DeHayes – NSPA Charter Member
CRUISING WITH SENATOR GRAHAM!!!
We here at the NSPA swell with pride all over different parts of our bodies when we spend time by ourselves and look at these pictures of conservative Christian Senator Lindsey Graham out cruising to look for any muscular young men in military uniforms who have been sent out with marching orders by our dictator Obama to confiscate our guns and then to force us on our knees in a dark alley so they can commit acts of depravity on our quivering, sweaty bodies over and over and over and over again. Senator Graham, thank you. It is so comforting to know we have you covering our backs.
IT’S NOT OUR FAULT WE DON’T HAVE ANY BLACK GUYS IN THE NSPA
Look, I’m getting sick and tired of all the haters out there who keep pointing out that there aren’t any black guys in the National Small Penis Association. I will not compromise the integrity of the NSPA by lowering our membership eligibility standards just so I can say we have a couple of black guys as members. You won’t find any political correctness or affirmative action here. I don’t care if you’re white, black, yellow, green or blue. You just need to be able to measure up if you want to be a member. It just so happens that it’s only the white guys who measure up. I guess the haters would like me to invent some sort of radiation ray weapon that shrinks black guys’ penises. Well, haters, sorry to disappoint you, but it’s not going to happen. I’ve got more important things to do, like making sure the government doesn’t storm into our homes and confiscate our guns.
I’M BACK ONLINE, IT WAS ALL A MISUNDERSTANDING
I am happy to report my year and a half detention in Thailand is over, and I am back in the United States to fight for my small penised brothers to keep their rights to strap really big and powerful guns to their waists . No matter what you hear (there are a lot of haters out there, after all), the detention was simply a misunderstanding over my visa paperwork.
All that matters is that I’m back in the thick of the battle just in time. I see ex(thankfully)-Mayor Bloomberg is still trying to take away our rights while he isn’t busy trying to manipulate the world’s money supply. I also see Harvey Weinstein (I think I’m seeing a pattern here, I’m just saying) is crowing that he will be making an anti gun movie starring Meryl Streep to take down the NRA.
Well, Harvey, I have news for you. I made good use of my year and a half in a cramped Bangkok jail by writing the screenplay for ‘The Man With A Small Penis’, an inspirational tale about a man with a small penis and a Colt LE901-901.308 Carbine. I don’t want to give away the plot just yet, but I describe it as ‘The King’s Speech’ meets ‘Red Dawn.’ Though it’s not official, I hope to have Victoria Jackson attached to the project soon. See you at the Oscar’s, Harvey and Meryl. IT’S ON!!!!
FEBRUARY IS SMALL PENIS AWARENESS MONTH
Well, we couldn’t take our country back in November, but we can take our month of February back. We here at the NSPA are tired of black people getting all of the attention in February so we are proud to announce February is Small Penis Awareness Month. Granted, none of us here at the compound would have ever invented peanut butter if we were sitting in a laboratory filled with buckets of peanuts, but we are damn well sure it was a white guy who invented jelly. Throughout the month, we will highlight the contributions small penised white guys have made to American history and culture, like the Confederate Army, the NRA, and the Blue Collar Comedy Tour.
We will use the month to grow the Small Penis pride movement to fight our fascist government’s plot to take our guns (and our manhood) away.
There is absolutely no truth to the local media reports that Lee Greenwood Hannity, President of the National Small Penis Association, was arrested for public indecency at the Regal dollar theater in Canton last week. Mr. Hannity swears on the holy Bible that he was not masturbating in his seat during a screening of ‘Red Dawn’, which the NSPA has declared as the best film of 2012, by the way. Mr. Hannity simply spilled some popcorn on his lap and was wiping the popcorn away. Mr. Hannity will have no further comments on this vast conspiracy because he will be focused on battling the Obama administration’s upcoming assault on our gun rights. Please check back regularly for our dispatches from the front lines.