Sure, some of his neighbors said he was a hothead who threatened others, but they’re probably MSNBC viewers who are naturally scared by a proud White man who knows how to handle a gun.
You may have noticed John Marshall from our Fort Myers NSPA chapter in the news tonight because he has made headlines for shooting his neighbor to death and then driving the corpse in a pickup truck to his lawyer’s office approximately 30 miles away. His attorney then presented a perfectly understandable explanation to the media that Patriot Marshall had simply killed his neighbor in self defense. If he had been an emotionally unhinged murderer, he would have left his neighbor’s body in the street for hours rather than give him a ride in his pickup truck.
Some of the liberal trouble makers in the neighborhood, though, are trying to paint Patriot Marshall as a volatile instigator who initiated the confrontation with his neighbor. Not only are they lying about him because he is a gun lover, but they are also surprisingly overlooking the fact that by carpooling with the corpse he is reducing his carbon footprint (thereby combatting global warming, which we think is a farce) because he saved a gas guzzling emergency vehicle from making a separate trip to pick up the corpse to bring it to the county morgue. However, liberals will never give any emotionally well balanced, small penised, conservative White man credit for any of his accomplishments so we really shouldn’t be surprised. This is just another reminder of why we need to continue our work.
Florida man fatally shoots neighbor, puts body in truck bed and drives to attorney’s office: lawyer
Spare the BB gun gunfire, spoil the child. So where’s the crime here?
Joseph F. Majewski from our Weirton NSPA chapter was arrested by the Weirton Police Department last week for the crime of being a father. Patriot Majewski had simply performed his paternal duty of instilling discipline in his three children, aged 6,9 and 13, by shooting them with a BB gun when the nerdy, nebbish, nanny state ninnies from the Hancock County Dept. of Children Services threw a hissy fit and got the police involved. Before he knew it, Patriot Majewski got hit with three counts of child abuse with serious bodily injury and three counts of domestic battery. This is just one more example of the wussification of America in which our Marxist Socialist government is raising a generation of perpetual victims who are terrified of guns. If you connect the dots, the reason for this is that in 25 years we will have a nation of womanly men who don’t know how to hold a gun, which will make it easy for all of Dictator Obama’s Islamic counterparts to march right into America to spread their Caliphate. Don’t say we didn’t warn you. Join the NSPA today!
Weirton Man Arrested After Allegedly Shooting His Kids with a BB Gun
None of this would have happened if his sister hadn’t given him a penis shaped birthday cake.
Christopher Taft from our Holly Hill NSPA chapter was arrested yesterday for shooting his sister in the buttocks after she gave him a penis shaped cake for his birthday as a joke. Luckily for her he only used his bb gun left over from his childhood and did not use a semi automatic assault rifle. However, she certainly learned her lesson never to taunt an NSPA member with a phallus shaped dessert item. This story only illustrates the persecution and racism we small penised White guys continue to face. We are the only minority group now left that people feel comfortable to mock. We want to take back our America and return it to the times when it was perfectly acceptable to mock and discriminate against all of the minority groups!
Fla. man shoots sister in buttocks with BB gun for making him a phallic birthday cake: cops
Fla. man shoots sister in buttocks with BB gun for making him a phallic birthday cake: cops
Jared Boice is a REAL American, not a criminal!
Jared Boice from our Binghamton NSPA chapter was sentenced in Delaware County Court today in the shooting deaths of two Siberian Huskies. In response to all of the gun hating, dog loving liberals who are vilifying Patriot Boice as a monster, we would like to remind them that these were Siberian Huskies, or as written in the language of their homeland, сибирский хаски. Yes, these were communist dogs on our shores so Patriot Boice took a stand and used his gun to put an end to their aggressive threat. If only we could send Patriot Boice and 20 other members of the NSPA to Ukraine, we would have that situation resolved pronto!
Patriot Boice isn’t an effete coward like Dictator Obama who leads from behind when confronting the Russian communistic threat. No, he takes bold action like Vladimir Putin, who we would admire if he weren’t a Communist. It shouldn’t come as a surprise that the Marxist Delaware County Court system colluded with the Obama White House to get Patriot Boice locked up for 24 days and saddled with 3 years probation for his brave deed. Well played Comrade Obama, but we are in this fight for the long haul and we will prevail.
Walton man sentenced in fatal shooting of dogs
Patriot Pecora faces attempted murder charges, while the female “victim” who assaulted him (while he held a gun to her head) faces no charges. Will somebody please tell Patricia Arquette we here at the NSPA will support equal pay for women once women face equal charges for the crimes they commit.
Sidney Pecora from our Baton Rouge NSPA chapter sits in EBR Parish Prison tonight for attempted murder, false imprisonment, illegal use of a weapon, aggravated assault with a weapon, unlawful possession of body armor, domestic abuse battery possession of Schedule III drugs and possession of a firearm with a controlled dangerous substance after things got a little out of hand after he had a little tiff with a female visitor to his apartment. Hey, even the happiest of married couples have arguments every now and then.
Well, things started to get a little heated, and the female visitor wouldn’t listen to Patriot Pecora’s attempts to calm her down so he simply put his gun to her head to get her to pipe down. She violently slapped his hand holding the gun, which caused the gun to fire a bullet into the ceiling. Realizing that he had a real hellcat on his hands, he pointed the gun back at her because he recognized that his safety was in jeopardy. She was by then clearly hysterical, as only a woman can be, and violently slapped at his hand again, causing the gun to discharge another bullet into the ceiling.
After the obviously disturbed woman escaped from the apartment, she ran to the police and cried and batted her eyelashes like Scarlett O’Hara and portrayed herself as a helpless victim. The police fell for the act just like Ashley Wilkes did and went rushing to Patriot Pecora’s apartment where they found him in his totally macho full body armor, an accessory only owned by any self respecting member of the NSPA. Before you know it, they slap all of these charges on him, and they don’t give her a single charge for assaulting him and causing the gun to discharge two times. The story only underscores the harsh reality that White men face a double standard and are treated like second class citizens by a morally corrupt legal system. We’ve got a long way to go, baby!
Baker Man Arrested for Attempted Murder
N.S.P.A + S.W.A.T. = A SAFE AMERICA!
There are a lot of liberal gun hating zealots (hello, Mother Jones Magazine, we’re watching you) who cry like Chicken Little that police departments across America are becoming overly militarized and that SWAT teams are now routinely being inappropriately dispatched to intervene in low stakes assignments that would be more effectively handled by regular patrol officers. They are the same finger pointing window watchers who are the first in line to bash police departments when on occasion a citizen dies unnecessarily at the hands of a SWAT team just doing its job. (Like they never make mistakes at their jobs, YEAH RIGHT!)
We here at the NSPA love the dangerously irresponsible usage of poorly supervised, macho, swaggering SWAT teams because we understand the surge of pride and sense of self security that comes from being cartoonishly overly equipped and storming into confrontations with unarmed people who pose no imminent threat.
This is why we proudly stand behind Lt. Earl Barnes, the SWAT team commander with the Smyrna Police Department in Smyrna, TN. Patriot Barnes also just happens to be a member of the Smyrna NSPA chapter. He has been in the news recently because his department issued Glock Model 22 .40 caliber pistol fell out of its holster and discharged when he sat down to tie his shoes while he was on duty to provide security at a Smyrna Town Council workshop at the Smyrna Town Hall Thursday night. Big deal, the bullets only went into the lobby carpet, and we’ve heard that carpet was shabby and needed to be replaced anyway.
Sure enough, the haters have been out in too much force to ridicule Patriot Barnes and to question if this is somebody who should have the responsibility to command a SWAT team. These people will only be happy if Patriot Barnes is stripped of his gun and never again assigned to provide security at the Smyrna Town Hall. If this happens, we want to know what they will say if ISIS shows up to execute the Smyrna Town Council and then institutes Sharia law. Our guess is that they’ll be the first people to speed dial 911 to beg for the SWAT team to hurry up and rescue their unarmed rear ends!
SWAT commander misfires gun into carpet at Smyrna Town Hall
The Making Of The Warrior Cop
This is the face of the future of The National Small Penis Association.
Christopher Lee Yourkwitz from our Kelso NSPA chapter may be sitting in the Cowitz County jail for shooting his roommate last night after a heated argument, but we are not the least bit worried about his fate because we are sure this will all be cleared up once the authorities realize it was nothing more than an accidental shooting. Sure, Patriot Yourkwitz may have grabbed for his gun as the argument with his roommate escalated, but we are certain he was simply planning to secure it in a handgun lockbox to prevent it from being used when it slipped out of his hand and discharged.
We are excited about the opportunity the media attention from this case brings to us because, much like Tim Conaster in yesterday’s post, Patriot Yourkwitz provides us a chance to connect with a youthful audience that will help grow the NSPA. Our social media consultant told us today that Patriot Yourkwitz’s cool tattoos will help us connect with micropenised millennials who have lots of tattoos and piercings. Patriot Yourkwitz is exactly the type of emotionally well balanced, cool, question authority, gun loving White guy who can make the NSPA accessible to confused, small penised young men who are struggling to come to terms with their identities. This is the proud future of the NSPA.
Kelso man wanted for shooting roommate has turned himself in
What is everybody getting all worked up about? Everybody knows that All Dogs Go To Heaven.
Well, the liberal, gun hating media jackals have bared their teeth and are out for the blood of Tim Conaster from our Royce City NSPA chapter after he stood his ground and shot and killed two dogs that had strayed onto his property. We don’t see anything wrong with him proudly posting a picture of his two kills on his Facebook page because he is just the kind of social media savvy, hip type of White guy we want in the NSPA to get our message out to a wider audience.
Just look at that cool selfie he posted on his Facebook page. The media consultant we just hired told us it is content like that selfie that will make the NSPA website “sticky” with all of the cool millennials who we need to attract to grow our membership. Patriot Conaster gives us the chance to make our message that White guys with guns are cool go viral.
Besides, all of the liberal haters who are calling for Patriot Conaster’s head are missing the point that he was justified to protect the sanctity of his property rights. We advocate for the spirit of rugged individuals who are always within their rights to defend their property at all costs, unless of course TransCanada wants their property to build the Keystone XL pipeline. That’s different because Lou Dobbs says it’s a good idea.
Firefighter Tim Conatser Guns Down Family’s Pets, Posts Death Photo On Facebook
So now Dictator Obama is rounding up Patriots who just have blanks loaded in their guns. So mark our words that it’s just a matter of time until he starts having everybody with a starter’s pistol locked up.
Justin Beaton from our Indianapolis NSPA chapter, and an Indianapolis police officer no less, was arrested Monday by his fellow officers for doing nothing more than shooting a gun loaded with blanks in his girlfriend’s face. First the crybaby liberal gun haters wanted to outlaw hollow tipped bullets, now they apparently want to outlaw blanks. We guess they will next want to outlaw the little red rolls of caps that are loaded into cap guns.
So now it’s a crime to shoot blanks into a woman’s face. It’s not like she died or anything. All that happened was that the gunpowder blast from the blanks knocked out three of her teeth, fractured her nose and broke her jaw. Hey, accidents happen.
Also, Patriot Beaton must be a great boyfriend because she backed up his initial account to the police that her injuries occurred when a bed frame he was moving slipped from his hands and hit her in the face. It’s not like she would have lied because she was scared of him. Then the police kept on harassing her until she told them that Patriot Beaton began drinking earlier in the day and then bought a new gun at a gun show. While he was showing it off to her, the gun went off. That’s how she got the aforementioned scrapes and bruises on her face.
Not only do we now have a brave, small penised White man who loves guns locked up in jail, we now have no way to know how track meets will be held. Just another day in Dictator Obama’s America.
Indianapolis cop charged with attempted murder for firing blanks at girlfriend’s face
It wasn’t Patriot Pope’s fault. It was Michelle Obama’s fault!
Edward Pope of our Virginia Beach NSPA chapter was arrested for involuntary manslaughter earlier this month after he accidentally shot and killed a friend while proudly (understandably) showing off his gun in the parking lot of the bowling alley where his friend worked. What burns us up so much about this injustice is that Michelle Obama, the real culprit here, is not facing any consequences for her actions that led to this accident.
See, here’s what we figure happened. Patriot Pope is one of those good guys with a gun, responsible gun owners we and our friends at the NRA always talk about so there is no way he could have carelessly caused the death of a 22 year old young man. On top of that, we’re sure he had gotten sick with Michelle Obama, First Lady of the Nanny State of America, trying to dictate how we eat by forcing healthy foods upon us.
Therefore, we’re guessing that Patriot Pope took a stand toward taking our country back and ordered french fries, onion rings, cheese sticks and fried chicken strips at the bowling alley snack counter as a way to show Michelle Obama that she couldn’t force him to eat carrot sticks and broccoli florets. After this justifiable act of defiance, his hands must have been so greasy that his gun must have slipped in his hand, causing him to press the trigger by accident which caused a bullet to enter his friend and end his life. If Michelle Obama had simply kept her mouth shut about nutrition, none of this would have ever happened.
Police: Man accidentally shot friend outside bowling alley
Okay, he may have shot the sheriff, his ex-wife and his ex-wife’s boyfriend, but we are not so sure that he shot the deputy so let’s not rush to judgment here.
Unfortunately Anthony Giaquinta a former K9 officer from our Habersham County NSPA chapter is no longer alive anymore after what you might call a little incident in which he returned to the home he used to share with his ex-wife and shot her and her boyfriend. So they happened to die in what was probably an accidental shooting, and then the Habersham County Sheriff and his deputy showed up with guns drawn. Then there was another accidental shooting in which the sheriff and deputy were shot and injured. Patriot Giaquinta then knew that the gun hating liberals in Habersham County, Georgia wouldn’t believe the accidental nature of the multiple shootings and would railroad him all the way to prison so he committed suicide with his beloved gun.
Now the Georgia Bureau of Investigation is nosing around the house to document what exactly happened, and we hope they look closely at how the deputy got shot. Our guess is that the Sheriff accidentally shot the deputy in the cross fire. Leave it to the liberal media in Georgia, though, to jump to the conclusion that Patriot Giaquinta shot everybody on the scene. The tragedy is that we now have one less brave, small penised White man who loves guns to protect us from our government.
Ex-Habersham County deputy shot ex-wife, boyfriend
We have finally found a case of a police shooting that is worth protesting.
Well, we’re just waiting to see if Rev. Al Sharpton will join our protests over the police shooting of Kyle Dodds from our Bellevue NSPA chapter. * Last night the Bellevue police responded to an overblown domestic violence call, probably made by a man hating feminist, at Patriot Dodd’s home and before you knew it there were 8 (yes, count them, 8) cruisers outside his house. The police irresponsibly escalated the situation by drawing their guns even though Patriot Dodds was only standing at his front doorway highly intoxicated and brandishing a gun. (The last time we checked it was perfectly legal to have a gun in your home, but with Dictator Obama calling the shots we’re only one Executive Order away from that changing.)
Then, shockingly, the police overreacted and started shooting Patriot Dodds when all he did was raise his gun and point it at them. Thankfully Patriot Dodds survived the shooting and was released from the hospital, but the brutes in the Bellevue police department carted him right away to jail.
This is where our work starts. We are planning street protests in Bellevue because we demand to know why the police can get away with shooting a proud White man who had a gun and presented no threat to his family or community. What makes us just as angry is the fact that the police wasted their time harassing Patriot Dodds when we are sure that there were plenty of unarmed young black men prowling the streets of Bellevue.
*Note to all of the liberal trolls who visit this site: We are being sarcastic about waiting to see if Rev. Sharpton will join us!
Bellevue police investigate officer-involved shooting
“Dude, I think I just shot someone.” (We think that would be a good title for the greatest Ashton Kutcher movie ever. Ashton, if you see this, please e-mail us so we can get this in development now that Two And A Half Men is done.)
Matthew Davis from our North Pole NSPA chapter was arraigned at the Fairbanks Correctional Center yesterday for allegedly shooting and killing the boyfriend of a Fairbanks woman who we are sure drove him to this alleged act by spurning his advances toward her. We would be willing to bet the balance of our NSPA corporate savings account that the woman is a snooty feminist who is only attracted to effeminate, easily manipulated men.
Patriot Davis had given her fair notice in a considerate text message that he would come to her house to shoot her boyfriend if she failed to respond to his messages. Well, she selfishly didn’t reply to the message, and one thing led to another and her boyfriend got shot in her house. (It’s not like she hadn’t been warned.)
Patriot Davis then called his brother and said, “Dude, I think I just shot someone.” Reports say Patriot Davis was in hysterics and cried uncontrollably as his brother accompanied him to the police department to turn himself in. Sure, he may have been a little bit emotionally out of control, but it is important to put his behavior in the context that a harlot had gotten control of his mind and emotions. Otherwise, Patriot Davis is exactly the type of emotionally secure and stable good guy with a gun who we want walking freely on the streets with concealed weapons to keep us safe from emotionally unstable bad guys with guns who are capable of killing totally innocent people who are simply trying to live their lives. Hopefully the jury will do the right thing and find him not guilty by reason of insanity caused by the machinations of a cruel, imperious woman.
Man arraigned after allegedly shooting a man to death in North Pole
So when did it become a federal crime to shoot and kill a whale?
Daniel Archibald from our Cape May NSPA chapter was hauled into Newark federal court yesterday to turn himself in for violating the Marine Mammal Protection Act after being hounded by federal officials for shooting a pilot whale in New Jersey fishing waters.
This is wrong on so many counts. First, what is more manly than shooting and killing a whale? Only a government that hates virile, manly, totally heterosexual White men who prove their manliness by using guns to kill beautiful creatures could have a law like this on the books. Second, only a non Christian government that doesn’t know the Bible and is ignorant of the dangers that a whale posed to Jonah could have a law like this on the books. Hmmm, a non Christian government that hates manly White men who love guns…Oh that’s right, we live in Dictator Obama’s America. How could we have forgotten? #thenightmarecontinues
New Jersey fisherman arrested in 2011 shooting death of pilot whale after intense federal investigation
The real crime was how the police treated Michael Hemphill the night they arrested him for an obviously accidental shooting. Just look at how they left him handcuffed on the street for half an hour. We’d like to know why the Michael Brown protestors didn’t say peep about this.
Michael Hemphill from our Escondido NSPA chapter was in court yesterday for opening statements in his trial for the accidental shooting death of a friend who died after he startled Patriot Hemphill, who just happened to be carrying his .45 caliber 1911 Essex Arms Corp semi-automatic pistol, when he approached Patriot Hemphill to report that he was being evicted from his trailer for nonpayment of his rent and his unstable behavior. Patriot Hemphill’s defense attorney has made the compelling case that the friend startled the gun toting Patriot Hemphill and caused him to flinch, which caused him to accidentally press his finger against the trigger, which caused the gun to discharge just as the friend happened to be standing in the path of the bullets that left the barrel of Patriot Hemphill’s gun, which caused the friend to die.
However, there should be no big surprise that the gun hating prosecutor had a different spin on what happed and is trying to get the jury to believe that this was not an accidental shooting and that Patriot Hemphill should be held accountable for killing his friend with a gun. Oh, I forgot to mention that the dead friend’s last name was Sanchez, so you can see where this is going. There’s nothing easier to do nowadays than to make a good White guy with a gun look like a predatory monster who preys on defenseless minorities because that’s the big lie the liberal media loves to tell.
Startled trigger finger to blame
The likelihood that he will get a fair trial is about the same likelihood that I will someday care about women’s college basketball.
Here we go again. On Monday Samuel Sallee from our Waynseville NSPA chapter faced the first day of his murder trial for the shooting deaths of four victims. The crooked prosecutor pieced together a purely circumstantial case against Patriot Sallee as detailed in the article we have linked below. Of course we know Patriot Sallee is being set up to get another manly White man who knows how to handle a gun locked up in jail so there will be one less Patriot to stand up to Dictator Obama when he begins confiscating our guns.
However, we still want to make sure justice is done on behalf of the four victims who were all shot in the head. We think that Patriot Sallee is being set up to take the fall for the real killer because of a physical resemblance, and we would like to know where New York City fashion icon Iris Apfel was on the night of the murders.
If the authorities follow up on this lead, they might just catch the real murderer.
Victim’s son in Sallee murder trial testifies
We’re sure that some liberal activist hacked his Twitter account. Leave it to the busybodies at the Brady Campaign and Center to Prevent Gun Violence to get hysterical and blow it all out of proportion.
David Lenio from our Kalispell NSPA chapter sits in jail tonight facing two felony charges on intimidation and malicious intimidation for making online threats of violence and possible federal criminal charges. See, somebody clearly hacked his Twitter account and tweeted over one hundred tweets threatening to shoot and kill 30 grade school children, a rabbi and an unnamed Jewish leader. The hacker also tweeted his wish to shoot up a synagogue and called for a Hitler to rise to power in America to fix the country’s problems. Sure enough there was a busybody from the Brady Campaign and Center to Prevent Gun Violence (who must not have anything better to do than troll Twitter all day long) who fell hook, line and sinker for these obviously bogus tweets. So he went all hysterical (just like your typical liberal) and overreacted by contacting the FBI.
The FBI fell for it as well and raided Patriot Lenio’s apartment where they found a handgun and two shotguns. So sure enough, at the behest of Dictator Obama, they arrested him. As a result, there is now one less good guy with a gun to keep us safe from unarmed young black men who might be walking through our neighborhoods at any moment.
We’re sure that his wife must have been making taunting comments to him which led to the domestic incident which led her to get shot by his gun which led the sheriff’s department to show up which led him to barricade himself in his house which led him to use his assault rifle in a shoot out which led to the authorities dragging him to jail which led him to face life in prison now. As for his wife, who we are sure started this whole chain of events, she’s resting comfortably and being pampered in a hospital. Yeah, that sounds real fair…NOT!
George Smith Jr. from our Warsaw NSPA chapter now sits in jail with the prospect of a lifetime in prison hanging over his head. This stems from a little domestic altercation which started with his wife getting in the way of multiple bullets fired from his gun and ended with him standing his ground in a barricaded shoot out with the liberal gun haters from the Benton County Sheriff’s Department.
While his wife is being coddled in the local hospital and Patriot Smith sits in jail, we would like to take a closer look at her role in all of this. Though we weren’t there, we’re pretty sure this all started with her taunting him by saying something like, “George, you look like the offspring that would be born if Jimmy Fallon and Donald Sutherland were able to produce a baby after having steamy, gay sexual intercourse.” In the face of such a homosexual tinged taunt targeting his manhood, what option would Patriot Smith have had except to get his gun out to assert his self esteem? However, since we’re living in Obama’s America, Patriot Smith’s wife can rest well because she will never face any accountability for her role in this.
Man surrenders after 3.5-hour standoff, shootout with officers
The soul patch alone should tell you that he didn’t shoot and kill his wife.
On Thursday the Porter County Sheriff’s Department arrested Steven Lindsey from our Chesterton NSPA chapter for shooting and killing his wife in their home. The liberal propagandists at The Chicago Tribune tried to paint Patriot Lindsey as an emotionally insecure, manipulative, domineering, calculating, irresponsible loser who hatched an amazingly incompetent murder cover up in an attempt to collect $1,100,000 on his wife’s life insurance policy.
The truth is that Patriot Lindsey is a proud, small penised White man who has been framed in an obvious attempt to get him locked up so he will be unable to join the fight against our government when they come to collect our guns. See, here’s something to keep in mind. Though Porter County is in Indiana, it is considered to be part of the Chicago Metropolitan area. Hello, do we need to spell it out for you? Chicago Metropolitan area…the Dictator Obama machine….We hope this makes it clear why there is a need for the NSPA and why we will fight to bring Patriot Lindsey to feedom! We will never leave any of our own on the battlefield.
Husband charged in wife’s shooting death
NOW That’s What I Call A White Guy! Vol. 2
On Thursday a Mahoning County grand jury indicted Anthony Magrini from our Boardman NSPA chapter on 4 charges related to an incident in which his gun happened to discharge by his ex-girlfriend and her new boyfriend. We are sure that the county prosecutor’s office (should it be any surprise that Mahoning County is a Democratic stronghold in Ohio?) withheld from the grand jury critical information that puts what happened in an understandable context.
See, Patriot Magrini was waiting outside of the apartment of his ex-girlfriend’s new boyfriend one night. We are sure that Patriot Magrini was just being a gentleman and wanted to make sure the new boyfriend was treating her properly. However, when she and her new boyfriend exited the apartment and walked across the parking lot, she looked over to Patriot Magrini and flashed him a middle finger before getting in her new boyfriend’s car and driving away.
Patriot Magrini followed them in his car to be able to help in case they got a flat tire or something. When both cars stopped at an intersection, she got out of her car and yelled at him to leave them alone. When Patriot Magrini got out of his car to calm her down, his gun must have fallen out of his coat pocket, or something like that, and discharged when it hit the ground.
Well, sure enough the Mahoning County Democratic Party machine went into action and ensnared Patriot Magrini in their corrupt web with these trumped up charges. This is yet another reminder of why we must continue our work to provide a voice on behalf of all of the persecuted small penised White men who love guns here in America!
Boardman man charged in shooting incident
Being a small penised White man who loves guns is just like love because it means never having to say you’re sorry!
On Monday Conrad Mark Truman from our Provo NSPA chapter was given a sentence of 15 years to life in prison for shooting and killing his wife (which he obviously didn’t do). We are so proud of Patriot Truman because he refused to apologize at the sentencing to his deceased wife’s family because he didn’t kill her. As he explained in his eloquent 30 minute statement to the court, he couldn’t be expected to apologize for her choosing to commit suicide by shooting herself in the head, which is what really happened no matter what the jury said.
Sure the haters have been saying that this picture of him in court shows a sociopath gloating with a smug smile to taunt his deceased wife’s family, but they say this because they are liberal non-Christians. If they were Christians, they would know he is smiling because he knows his wife is no longer suffering from whatever torment drove her to suicide, and she is now sitting next to the throne of Jesus Christ.
Sure the prosecutor made much of Patriot Truman’s confused explanations about what exactly happened prior to his wife’s death when they were the only two people in the house, the fact that he was going to collect on her $878,000 life insurance policy and his refusal to cooperate with the detectives who were investigating the case. The prosecutor needed to tell these lies because lying is what prosecutors do whenever a proud NSPA member is on trial. See, that order comes straight from Big Boss Obama.
Thankfully Patriot Truman has announced he will appeal and will continue to fight to overturn this gross injustice. We will keep you posted.
NOW That’s What I Call A White Guy! Vol. 1
Andrew Keiffer from our West Sparta NSPA chapter has been a rising star in our organization for some time. Not only is he a member of the Republican Committee for West Sparta, he is also the leader of the Livingston County Tea Party. With credentials like these it should come as no surprise that the Michael Bloomberg funded gun haters who are trying to foist their Sharia like law upon us have conspired against him.
The liberal haters have set a pre trial hearing for June 16 for Patriot Keiffer in regard to the baseless accusations that he shot and killed a neighbor’s dog, critically injured another of the neighbor’s dogs and that he planted bullets in the dead bodies of his fiancée’s goats to make it look like somebody else shot them. Really, folks, does Patriot Keiffer look like the type of man who could take sadistic pleasure in causing a defenseless creature to experience pain and suffering?
Please, we know what is really going on here. Dictator Obama wants to get this epitome of gun loving, small penised White manhood off the streets and locked up in jail so he can’t continue to perform his important work to take this country back. Rest assured that we will get the truth out about this case to make sure Patriot Keiffer goes free so he can push the Tea Party agenda to save our country. We will keep you posted on his status.
Clock Ticks Towards Trial in Keiffer Dog Killing Case
He was simply standing his ground on behalf of his car.
Craig Hicks from our Chapel Hill NSPA chapter has been all over the news today for shooting and killing three of his neighbors. Now the liberal, Muslim sympathizing media is trying to make much of the fact that the three neighbors were Muslims. What else would you expect by a media controlled by our Muslim Dictator Obama? However, religion had nothing to do with this. No, this was about a proud, small penised White man who had to defend his parking space and, by extension, his manhood from his three neighbors, who just happened to be Muslim, who didn’t respect the sanctity of his parking space. If we don’t defend our parking spaces from them, we only embolden them to keep encroaching on our liberty. Next thing you know, and they will be taking over our court systems.
Thankfully, Patriot Hicks loved guns so he was able to protect himself from these three students, and this is why we are so thankful of North Carolina’s Republican governor Pat McCrory, Republican state House and Republican state Senate and their efforts that got concealed carry legislation enacted two years ago. With this legislation, small penised Patriots throughout North Carolina feel emboldened to carry their guns at all times to defend their liberty, which sometimes just happens to be threatened by sweet natured, unarmed Muslims.
Chapel Hill Shooting Leaves 3 Muslim Students Dead; Neighbor Is Charged
Look, he was being the responsible one, but he still ends up being charged with attempted murder and discharging firearm in occupied dwelling.
Dewey Lee Paris from our DeKalb County NSPA chapter asked a friend last night to drive him on a beer run because he knew he was a little too drunk to drive. Patriot Paris was clearly being responsible by not getting behind the wheel, but his selfish friend (if that’s what you want to call him) refused to give him a ride. So understandably Patriot Paris responded by striking his friend in the face with his handgun and then held him against his will for a half hour. When the friend broke free and ran away, Patriot Paris shot him in the hip.
Well, the liberal gun haters with the Crossville Police Department, who probably want a lot of drunk drivers on the road so they can rack up their traffic ticket quotas, hysterically overreacted and arrested Patriot Paris. Again, this is all part of Dictator Obama’s master plan to get as many well armed, small penised white Patriots as possible off the battlefield. We’re onto the plan, though, and we will continue to fight against it every day to make sure every small penised White man who has self esteem issues has unfettered access to any gun at any time.
Man shot after beer run argument
If there is anything we can learn from this murder-suicide shooting incident, it’s the need for tort reform!
Richard Albert Nielsen, formerly a member of our Monkey Junction (yes, that’s the name of the city) NSPA chapter, has been in the news recently because Friday he shot and killed a 39 year old man, shot and critically injured a 29 year old pregnant woman and caused the death of the fetus she was carrying before turning his gun on himself to commit suicide.
Patriot Nielsen legally purchased the handgun used in the shooting one hour before the incident so sure enough the liberal media is trying to make this a story about an emotionally immature, unstable old white guy who senselessly used a gun in an act of grossly disproportionate rage over a minor, easily manageable dispute.
When you dig just a little deeper you see what a lie that is. See, Patriot Nielsen had no choice but to lash out after facing potential criminal responsibility over a botched business transaction involving landscaping equipment and a generator worth $4,000. If it weren’t for out of control trial lawyers creating a tyrannical judicial system that stymies business growth and entrepreneurship, Patriot Nielsen would never have had anything to worry about. So, no, this isn’t really a story about senseless, gun fueled murder. This is really a story about the need to enact meaningful tort reform, just like John Stossel has been saying all along.
Business dispute led to double murder-suicide; unborn child among victims
Our longtime buddy Charles Cotton, NRA board member, said that hitting a child ‘may keep me from having to put a bullet in him later.’ We couldn’t agree more, and we have a brilliant idea (if we can pat ourselves on our backs) to take this one step further.
We can’t describe how proud we were when our longtime ally Charles Cotton from the NRA posted an argument on TexasCHLForum.com (the second greatest website on the internet) against a proposed Texas law to prohibit corporal punishment in Texas schools. He wrote, “I’m sick of this woman and her ‘don’t touch my kid regardless what he/she did or will do again’ attitude. Perhaps a good paddling in school may keep me from having to put a bullet in him later.”
While we wholeheartedly support this position and would never try to upstage Patriot Cotton, we would like to suggest how to take this idea to its next logical extension. We propose paddling fetuses once they can feel pain (20 weeks after conception) to instill a sense of fear and obedience towards their parents. This way we will be able to avoid beating their children to avoid shooting them later. We have already begun discussions with the Family Research Council to develop a device to insert into a woman’s private area to paddle the fetuses. We will be very careful to avoid killing the fetuses because we believe in the sacredness of all life (except for unarmed young black men who tap into our insecurities and leave us feeling so threatened that we have no choice except to shoot them after we initiate totally unprovoked confrontations). All we want to do is instill fear and submission in these fetuses because we are good Christians.
NRA board member states corporal punishment ‘may keep me from having to put a bullet in him later’
Who cares about the Baseball Hall of Fame? The Small Penis Hall of Fame is where Chipper Jones really belongs!
Former Atlanta Braves superstar Chipper Jones was always our favorite baseball player in his day, and we always felt he was the greatest Braves player ever (we always thought that fella Hank Aaron was overrated). Since he retired in 2012, we have been preparing for the party we will throw in 2018 when there is no question he will be inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame in his first year of eligibility.
However, we now have even bigger plans. After Patriot Jones posted a tweet on his Twitter account Friday night to announce the truth that the Sandy Hook shootings were a hoax staged by the government to trick the American public into accepting strict gun control legislation, we got the idea to start our own hall of fame, The Small Penis Hall of Fame. It should come as no surprise that Patriot Jones will be a charter member. We will keep you posted on the progress for this Hall.
Meanwhile, it is no big surprise that the liberal media, which has an inability to deal with the truth, got in a snit fit over Patriot Jones’ post and riled up all of the ignorant, low information sheep in the public to hurl their hate at Patriot Jones for telling the truth. This never would have happened if Mitt Romney had been elected President.
We want Patriot Jones to know that the NSPA has his back. He is a small penised White man, who was real good at using a stick of wood to hit a ball and who loves guns. He represents what it means to be a real man!
A well regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed.
A well regulated militia also being necessary to protect us from being bothered by a little puppy dog after having a long week.
Dictator Obama’s henchmen with the Miami-Dade Police arrested Scott Hargraves from our Miami NSPA chapter on trumped up animal cruelty charges for shooting his 10 month old Labrador Retriever puppy in the head. At the time of his arrest, Patriot Hargraves offered the police the perfectly reasonable explanation that he killed his dog because he had a long week and was tired of all the animals in his house. However, Dictator Obama and his cronies don’t believe in the 2nd Amendment and want to clear all well armed, small penised White patriots from the streets of Miami so the communist hordes can have a free pass to march into Miami now that Obama has publicly revealed his friendship with the Castro brothers. Therefore, we guess Patriot Hargraves’ fate is sealed so we must continue our fight so no small penised White man is ever again arrested for shooting a puppy dog in the head.
Police: Homestead man shoots puppy in the head
Look, what is so complicated? He told the jury he didn’t intend to shoot the guy in the chest.
Jess Bowman from our Casco County NSPA chapter testified in court today that he had not intended to shoot his trailer park neighbor through the heart. “I didn’t mean to shoot him in the chest,” Bowman said. “… I tried to get his shoulder and I got him where I got him.” To those gun hating liberals who have never actually held a gun, this is what we call a warning shot. So he missed his target by a couple of inches, but we guess in Obama’s America that counts as a felony. On top of that, Patriot Bowman had every right to initiate the confrontation because his neighbor left broken glass on the road by Patriot Bowman’s trailer after trying to load an old refrigerator onto his truck.
If you ask us, leaving an old refrigerator lying around, which some kid could climb into while playing hide and seek and suffocate, is much more dangerous than bringing a gun out while confronting a neighbor over a small stakes squabble. However, guess which action gets you hauled in front of a judge on a murder charge?
Jess Bowman: Casco shooting was ‘horrible’
Kory Watkins is the coolest small penised White man you will ever meet. He’s kind of like Matt Drudge meets a young John Stossel (unfortunately without the badass mustache).
Kory Watkins, President of the Fort Worth NSPA chapter and a proud spokesman for Open Carry Tarrant County, made a bold stand in the civil rights fight for small penised White men in Texas who desperately want to bolster their self esteem by being able to carry guns openly in Texas. He posted a video on Youtube the other day to provide a helpful reminder to Texas legislators about the importance of passing open carry legislation in which he said, “We should be demanding these people give us our rights back, or it’s punishable by death. Treason. Do you understand how serious this is, Texas?”
Of course the swishy liberal ninnies in Texas got all bent out of shape over this and accused him of threatening Texas legislators who oppose the legislation. Once again liberals reveal themselves as the only people who will distort the truth to advance their agenda. Thankfully Patriot Watkins won’t back down and continues the fight for Open Carry Texas so small penised White men in Texas can strut around with their big guns hanging down from their hips for everyone to see.
Open Carry Gun Rights Activist’s Video Alarms Texas Lawmakers
Don’t think of it as a murder. Think of it as a ‘failure to let go.’
Since he was in one of those liberal, gun hating Allegheny County, Pennsylvania courts, David Edick from our Brookline NSPA chapter had no choice but to plead guilty to shooting and killing his ex-wife’s new boyfriend because he knew he had no chance of getting a fair trial. The County Deputy District Attorney said it was Patriot Edick’s ‘failure to let go’ that led to the shooting, and this was one of the rare times we kind of believed something that a prosecutor said. Patriot Edick is not some emotionally stunted White man who used a gun to vent his self pitying, selfish rage at an innocent victim. No, he is a sensitive, misunderstood, oppressed White man who shouldn’t have been expected just to sit idly by as his ex-wife carried on with her life and developed a new relationship. If she hadn’t taunted him by living as a happy, independent, well adjusted woman, he never would have been pushed to the point that he had no choice except to shoot and kill her new boyfriend. Unfortunately he was stuck in a crooked court system so he is being sent away for 40 years.
On a related note, Patriot Edick’s case has prompted us to expand our Bad Haircut Reclamation fund (first announced 1/24/2015) to include a Hipster Beard Removal service. Not only does he have a hipster beard, but we’ve got to admit he annoyed us a little bit by also going the hipster route by using a World W I-era revolver in the shooting and killing. If he had consulted with us, we would have steered him toward a Mateba Unica semi-auto action revolver. If you ask us, the World War I-era revolver was just a little too precious, but you know how hipsters are.
Pa. man, 28, gets 40 years for fatally shooting ex-wife’s new beau: ‘Failure to let go’
You and me and my gun makes three. Please keep in mind that three’s a crowd!
We here at the NSPA main office are sure that Cody Lon Smith from our Cedar Point NSPA chapter must have let his wife know at some point during their marriage that she would have to make room for him and his gun in their relationship before he accidentally shot and killed her in their bed Saturday night. When the Kerr County Sheriff arrived to Patriot Smith’s house Saturday night after getting a report of the shooting, Patriot Smith had the perfectly plausible explanation that he sleeps with his gun and that the gun accidentally discharged when he tried to remove it from underneath his wife after she rolled on top of it while she was asleep. See, he was actually trying to protect her. Since when did trying to protect your wife become a 1st degree felony? My guess is that it happened 1/20/2009, the day Dictator Obama was first inaugurated into office.
The Kerr County Sheriff said he did not find the story believable so Patriot Smith now sits in jail. Well, the Sheriff didn’t believe the story because he is culturally insensitive and does not understand that there are some proud White men who love guns and share their beds with them. This is yet another example of why the NSPA has so much work to do to end the societal oppression of white Patriots who have small penises and love guns.
Sheriff: Man who slept with gun said spouse’s slaying was accidental
Patriot Buterbaugh shouldn’t have been on trial. The FOOD STAMP HANDER OUTER IN CHIEF Obama should have been on trial.
James Buterbaugh from our Indiana, PA NSPA chapter is being forced off the battlefield by the corrupt, gun hating judicial system in Pennsylvania. A Marxist Indiana County Court judge sentenced Patriot Buterbaugh on Friday to 4 1/2 to 10 years in prison for shooting and killing a long time friend over a plate of food. Patriot Buterbaugh became incensed when he discovered his mother had prepared a plate of food for his friend, who he said was always “mooching” off other people.
So Patriot Buterbaugh decided enough was enough after seeing a culture of mooching being forced on us by Dictator Obama, as our spiritual hero Newt Gingrich has repeatedly pointed out, and he decided it was time to stand his ground. Though we here at the NSPA main office understand the rationale behind his actions, we are sadly not calling the shots. That is why we must continue our work so someday small penised Patriots aren’t harassed by the courts, which will be busy sending Dictator Obama and his kind to jail for handing out so many food stamps and prompting Patriots to shoot people who their mothers have given food to.
Man gets 4½ to 10 years in shooting death over food
What was Patriot Fowler to do with a “thug” (you know what we mean) living in his house? Oh, right, we forgot for a moment that we are living in Obama’s America so of course Patriot Fowler is facing charges.
Todd Fowler from our Ashland NSPA chapter was arrested yesterday for shooting his daughter’s boyfriend who was living with her and two minors in Patriot Fowler’s house. Patriot Fowler shot him three times, which is understandable considering how difficult it can be to live in a crowded house, particularly if you have an undesirable type in that crowd. As Patriot Fowler said as the police were putting him in the cruiser, “This is what happens when you let a thug into your home. Accidents happen.” We couldn’t have said it any better ourselves!
Arrest Made in Ashland Shooting; Names Released
“We could’ve taken every gun, every weapon that that individual had out of the house told him to not possess a firearm, not go around a firearm, but in fact if he is bent on doing harm to someone then they’re going to obtain a weapon,” Newman said.
Kevin Palmer, formerly a charter member of our Glade Spring NSPA chapter, had a kerfuffle with the law last year when he shot and killed his wife, son and mother in law. Hey, so things got a little out of hand, but we would like to remind all of the gun haters who disparage Patriot Palmer of a little book called THE BIBLE that they have never gotten around to reading because they’ve been too busy reading ‘Das Kapital’ by Karl Marx or ‘The Audacity of Hope’ by Dictator Obama. We want them to be aware of THE BIBLE so they could learn a little something about forgiveness as in the verse below:
For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
Instead of forgiving Patriot Palmer, the haters, led by Patriot Palmer’s dead wife’s sister, threw a temper tantrum yesterday at the Virginia State Capitol to try to harass the General Assembly into passing a bill to take away gun rights for people convicted of a violent misdemeanor. See, Patriot Palmer had a few minor run ins with the law for assault and battery before this incident. Thankfully the Republican dominated Virginia House of Delegates know their Bible and the Communistic futility of any laws restricting access for any guns for anybody at any time and voted down the ridiculous proposed law.
As Washington County Sheriff Fred Newman said in the quote at the top of this post, gun laws won’t stop a proud, small penised, White Patriot from getting a gun so, screw it, why bother wasting time by even proposing any such stupid laws.
Sister pleads for law change one year after family’s murder
It wasn’t Windell’s fault. It was liberal Hollywood’s fault.
We’ve lost another one. On Monday the liberal activist judge from the Jasper County Circuit Court sentenced Windell Daniels from our Joplin NSPA chapter to seven years in prison for accidentally shooting and killing a 22 year old woman at a belated birthday party being held in her honor. However, thanks to Dictator Obama the real criminals, the Hollywood liberal elitists, were never hauled into court to be held accountable for what happened.
Everything started out fine at the party when the guests were drinking beer and shooting guns from the porch of the farm house where the party was being held. Then the owner of the house gathered and stored all of the guns and ammunition from the porch and moved the party inside. However, he missed the Sig Sauer that Patriot Daniels brought into the house. Patriot Daniels may have had a few drinks too many so he didn’t realize there were still bullets in the gun. He then started pointing the gun’s laser pointer around the party guests and then let the laser point rest on the 22 year old birthday girl. One thing led to another, he pulled the trigger, and she died. Hey, accidents happen.
Here’s what burns us up. Patriot Daniels never would have done the stunt with the laser pointer if those God damn Godless Hollywood liberals had never made ‘The Terminator.’ After seeing the cyborg Schwarzenegger use the laser pointer on his gun to stalk his prey, name me one movie goer who has been able to resist recreating that scene in some form whenever holding any type of a laser pointer device. Well, you can’t, and you’ve never been able to resist it yourself. So Patriot Daniels isn’t responsible for his actions. No, it’s those Communistic liberal Hollywood bastards who planted the idea in Patriot Daniel’s head who are responsible.
Joplin man draws prison term in fatal accident
“shoot first, ask questions last.” Waka Flocka Flame, ‘Bustin At ‘Em’
We here at the NSPA only listen to the great musicians like Hank Williams Jr. and Ferlin Husky so nobody was more surprised than we were when we discovered we liked a song by Waka Flocka Flame who is one of those rap singing fellas. He wrote a song called ‘Bustin At ‘Em’ that we’ve got to admit we’ve been playing over and over again all day long here at our offices because (if you can get past all of the tribal type noises) the lyrics speak right to our hearts. His line, “shoot first, ask questions last” might as well be the motto of the NSPA.
We only learned about ‘Bustin At ‘Em’ because Monday night Rodney Patrick from our Merritt Island NSPA chapter accidentally shot and killed a 17-year old friend while miming the lyrics to the song. Sure we’re sad that Patriot Patrick will be going away for a while because of this accident, but we want to focus on the good that came out of this with our discovery of ‘Bustin At ‘Em.’ Like we always say, when life accidentally shoots and kills a loved one, make a cool necklace out of the shell casings.
Deputies: Man was acting out lyrics before fatal Merritt Island shooting
He didn’t do anything that Jennifer Lawrence hasn’t done, but now he’s facing a murder charge. Yeah, that’s real fair.
Landlord John Lorenz, a member of our Colorado Springs NSPA chapter, accidentally texted a picture of himself pointing a gun to one of his tenants, with whom he had been having a long running feud, instead of to the special lady in his life, who was the intended recipient. The tenant freaked out and totally misinterpreted the picture as a threat. See, the tenant wasn’t a manly gun owner so he didn’t realize this is how we do this “sexting” thing. Rather than exposing our small penises in the “sexting” pictures, we remain fully clothed and proudly display our large guns. That’s how you get a woman all hot and bothered.
We haven’t talked to the police yet, but we are completely sure our theory of the misdirected picture is what happened here. Now if the tenant hadn’t misinterpreted the picture, he wouldn’t have rushed to confront Patriot Lorenz. Then Patriot Lorenz wouldn’t have needed to stand his ground and shoot his tenant. However, Patriot Lorenz now sits in jail facing a murder charge when his only crime was typing the wrong phone number before pressing the ‘send’ button. Just another day in Obama’s America.
John Lorenz Allegedly Texted Photo of Pointed Gun to Man — and Then Killed Him
Does this really look like the face of somebody who could shoot a person in cold blood?
Danny LeRoy Logue (is that a cool badass name or what?) from our Provo NSPA chapter had to endure the indignity of listening to a dirtbag, who spoke with a forked tongue, bear false witness against him today. The Deputy Utah County Attorney trotted out his well coached liar to testify that Patriot Logue used a gun to kill the victim when he had simply been hired by a drug dealer to rough up the victim a little bit to teach him not to snitch to the police. (It turns out the drug dealer was wrong to think that the victim had snitched against him.)
What we find interesting is that Dictator Obama just happened to be giving a speech one state away in Boise, Idaho on January 21, and many pundits questioned why he would spend any time in a common sense state that didn’t vote for him in 2008 or 2012. Well, it’s obvious what he was up to. He went to Idaho so he could sneak over to Provo, Utah under the cover of darkness to bark out his marching orders to the County Attorney’s office to prepare for today’s dog and pony show of lies and slander to send a proud, white, small penised Patriot to jail, thereby keeping him off the battlefield when he sends his goons out to confiscate our guns.
Provo mother testifies of finding fatally wounded son on porch
For just 24 cents a day, you will be able to help this proud, small penised white man who loves guns get a fair trial once our Bad Haircut Reclamation fund is up and running.
No sooner had we announced plans in yesterday’s post to establish a Bad Haircut Reclamation fund to correct the unfortunate haircuts of NSPA members who are facing trials for exercising their Second Amendment rights to defend themselves when we got word today that James Simons from our Tulsa NSPA chapter was on his way to jail while sporting the type of curious haircut that would attract catty comments from women and homosexual men jurors that would hurt his chances of getting a fair trial.
Patriot Simons did nothing more than use a gun to shoot a friend who was trying top punch him. That sounds like a perfectly legitimate case of self defense to us so we can’t understand why charges have been pressed. Now that the octopus like tentacles of the gun hating judicial system are wrapping around him, it is imperative that we get him a decent haircut to prevent those women and homosexual men from making those catty comments in the jury room and dooming his chances of getting a fair trial.
Police Identify Tulsa Man Who Admitted To Shooting Friend During Quarrel
THEY NEED YOUR HELP!
James Jordan from our Prattville NSPA chapter was charged yesterday for attempted murder in the shooting of his girlfriend that left her in critical condition, and Robert Duffell from our Phoenix NSPA chapter was charged on Thursday for first degree murder in the shooting of his girlfriend. We are convinced that both juries would exonerate our Patriots after hearing all of the facts of the cases in fair trials under normal circumstances. However, how often in Obama’s America do proud white men who defend themselves with their guns (a right that just happens to be guaranteed under the 2nd Amendment, by the way) get fair trials under normal circumstances? The answer to that question would be somewhere between never and never.
We here at the NSPA central office are worried about what will happen in both cases if the juries are filled with women and homosexual men. If there are women and homosexual men on the juries, I just know that they will not be listening to the evidence presented. No, they will instead be busy thinking up catty comments to make about both Patriots’ unfortunate haircuts once they get back into the jury rooms. You know how they are. That is why the NSPA will be establishing a Bad Haircut Restoration fund on our homepage soon to ensure that all of our Patriots can get as close to a fair trial as possible in Obama’s America. Please provide whatever help you can.
Prattville man charged in shooting of woman
Teen accused of killing Buckeye girl pleads not guilty
We have no intention to discontinue our highly successful Glocks For Micrococks program after this horribly unjust conviction.
We here at the NSPA central office have been fielding endless media queries on whether we will stop our Glocks For Micrococks program after the murder conviction today of Steven Bruno, a member of our Irvine chapter and one of the first recipients of a Glock pistol through our aforementioned Glocks For Micrococks program.
Our answer is an emphatic NO! First, this program has enhanced the self esteem of thousands of small penised white men across America. Second, today’s conviction was simply a travesty of justice and should not reflect in any way upon our program.
Yes, Patriot Bruno killed his father by shooting him in the head with the Glock he received from us because he had become annoyed with his father’s attempts to hinder his plan to drive to Ohio to meet a woman he had met online a few months earlier. So the real culprit in all of this is the harlot who tempted him to the point that he was no longer responsible for his own actions. She faces no consequences for her actions, one of our members is sent to prison for 40 years and the Glock we gave him is unfairly labeled as a murder weapon. Well, it sure was a good day for Dictator Obama.
Irvine man gets 40 years to life for father’s murder
None of this would have happened if the police had simply not violated his Biblical right to discipline his wife.
“I will make your pains in childbearing very severe;
with painful labor you will give birth to children.
Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.”
There, it looks pretty clear to us here at the NSPA that a husband has a Biblical right to discipline his wife. That’s just what Robert Schminsky, member of our NSPA Key West chapter, was doing by knocking his wife on her head with the stock of his semi-automatic shotgun when the busybody atheistic Monroe County sheriff’s deputies arrived and tried to stop him.
This led to a high speed car chase that was joined by the Florida Highway Patrol so it was perfectly understandable that Patriot Schminsky felt his life was in jeopardy and had no choice but to shoot his semi-automatic shotgun at the Marxist gun haters following him.
Unfortunately the bad guys won and now Patriot Schminsky sits in the Key West jail, facing charges of attempting to murder his wife, three counts of attempting to murder law enforcement officers, aggravated battery on a law enforcement officer, aggravated assault on a law enforcement officer, discharging a firearm in public and fleeing and eluding a law enforcement officer. In other words, he’s being charged for being a proud white Christian man who loves guns. That’s all but a capital offense in Obama’s America.
Florida Keys man shoots at cops in wild chase; deputy grazed
“I WANT MY MOMMY!”
Stephen Pasceri, the treasurer of our Boston NSPA chapter, is being pilloried in the media today for shooting and killing a well respected Boston heart surgeon before turning the gun on himself and committing suicide. Well, that’s just another day with the liberal media in Obama’s America, and that’s why we need to get the truth out every day about white men who have small penises and love guns.
See, Patriot Pasceri was a totally emotionally stable white guy who was coming to terms with the death of his 78 year old mother who received medical care in November from the surgeon he killed yesterday. Though the surgery was considered a success, she died shortly afterwards due to complications she experienced while being transferred to a rehabilitation facility. Who could have expected anything like this to happen to a 78 year old woman who had a 30 year history of emphysema and chronic chronic obstructive pulmonary disease and who had heart surgery 12 years ago for 90 percent blockage in one of her arteries?
Certainly not Patriot Pasceri who responded to the shocking surprise of her death by taking the totally understandable action of tracking down his mother’s surgeon at the hospital and shooting him to death, causing the surgeon to leave behind three children and a pregnant wife. But leave it to the liberal media to paint a distorted picture of an overgrown 55 year old cry baby with unresolved mommy issues who dealt with emotional pain common to all humans by lashing out with gunfire against a defenseless victim.
We would also like to point out that Patriot Pasceri’s mother died of medical complications while Obamacare is the law of the land. Thanks, Obamacare!
‘Something snapped,’ brother of alleged Brigham shooter says
Patriot Joseph McEnroe’s defense attorney stated the obvious. Patriot McEnroe loved the family he killed and really wasn’t responsible for his actions because he was pushed into doing this by a woman.
Joseph McEnroe from our NSPA Seattle chapter was in court today for the opening of his trial for his involvement in the shooting and killing of six members, including two children, aged 3 and 5, of his girlfriend’s family. His defense attorney made the salient point that Patriot McEnroe’s unstable girlfriend, who is also facing charges for killing her family members, made him do it. On top of that, the defense attorney shared that Patriot McEnroe had an unstable mother who provided him a difficult upbringing.
The media will try to spin this story as a tale of an emotionally unstable white man who used a gun to commit an act of unspeakable violence because he lacks maturity and coping skills. The liberal media will do this because they want to avoid addressing the root cause of what happened here: unstable women who nag and peck at a good Christian man until he finally reaches his breaking point.
McEnroe ‘loved’ family he killed but was coerced, attorney says
The police say David Crowley shot and killed his wife and 5 year old daughter before committing suicide and made much of the fact that he loved guns. We smell a cover up and want to know where was Harvey Weinstein the day they died.
David Crowley, media productions manager for the NSPA Apple Valley chapter, was found dead with his wife and 5 year old daughter in their home on Saturday. Since Patriot Crowley was a gun lover who collected guns, the police rushed to judgment and said Patriot Crowley shot and killed his wife and daughter before turning his gun on himself to commit suicide.
However, if you dig a little deeper, you begin to see the bigger picture. See, Patriot Crowley was a screenwriter and director who made the film ‘Gray State’ which envisioned America as a war zone where only self reliant Patriots with guns can survive. (I saw the film and can say it is almost as good as ‘Red Dawn.’)
Well, Patriot Crowley had been planning to movie his family to Hollywood so he could develop bigger projects. Before he could make the move, though, he and his family ended up dead. It seems a little too convenient for the police to say Patriot Crowley committed this murder/suicide. Why haven’t the police questioned Harvey Weinstein about where he was the night Patriot Crowley and his family died?
Big Boss Weinstein is a well known gun hater who has recently been talking big time smack against the NRA, our brothers in arms, and plugging his upcoming anti gun propaganda flick staring Meryl Streep. (Boy, we can’t wait for this one to come out,…..NOT!!) Wouldn’t Big Boss Weinstein do anything in his power to silence a brilliant filmmaker who could make a film that would rip his anti gun garbage to shreds? You know the answer. In addition to that, Big Boss Weinstein is frequently seen in the company of Michael Bloomberg. Need we say more?
Gun-toting Minnesota screenwriter, wife and 5-year-old found dead in apparent murder-suicide (VIDEO)
Dictator Obama will make sure a white man who likes collecting guns will be locked away on totally fabricated charges of killing his estranged wife because Obama wants as few well armed Patriots as possible to be available to fight when he sends out all of his minions to confiscate our guns.
James Robarge from our Newport, NH NSPA chapter had to endure his first day of kangaroo court on Friday to face charges that he killed his estranged wife the day she filed for divorce. However, we all know the real reason he is in court is because he loves collecting guns, and Dictator Obama wants to lock up as many well armed white men as he can before he starts confiscating our guns.
The ridiculous case presented by the state is based solely on flimsy, circumstantial evidence. Police found blood on Patriot Robarge’s shorts and shoes the day his estranged wife disappeared. That same day Patriot Robarge’s Volkswagen Jetta was found broken down along the highway a short drive away from where his estranged wife’s body was found 9 days later. Also, motor oil was found on the grass near where her body was buried in a shallow grave. By sheer coincidence, Patriot Robarge’s broken down car had a damaged oil pan. Then the prosecutor trotted out Patriot Robarge’s daughter to testify that the bloody blanket found by Patriot Robarge’s disabled car was the same blanket her mother kept on the back of their living room couch. Like I said, this case is based simply on flimsy, circumstantial evidence.
Please pray to Jesus Christ that the jury will be able to see past Dictator Obama’s dark deceptions and will set Patriot Robarge free.
Prosecutors say Vermont man killed his wife the day she filed for divorce
OFFICER DOWN! NSPA CHARTER MEMBER AND BRIMFIELD, OH POLICE CHIEF DAVID OLIVER IS SHOT DOWN BY THE LIBERAL POLITCAL CORRECTNESS POLICE WHO CAN’T TAKE A JOKE.
The NSPA flag is flying at half-staff outside our headquarters today in memory of the brilliant career of Brimfield, OH (just down the road from our Akron headquarters) police chief David Oliver. Chief Oliver was a proud conservative, white, small penised hero who endlessly self promoted his cornpone wisdom through his Facebook page and his local radio show which he used to rightfully decry the destructive influence of liberalism on our society.
Well, you knew it was just a matter of time until Dictator Obama’s cronies would silence him with a raft of trumped up charges of inappropriate workplace behavior. Sure enough, they trotted out the one female officer on the Brimfield force to play the victim and accuse him of regularly hugging and pretending to dry hump her, despite her repeated pleas to stop. Then she accused him of taking multiple pictures of her with his cell phone while she was being wheeled out of the department offices on a stretcher with heart monitors attached near her exposed bra after an asthma attack. While all of this was going on, she said Officer Oliver yelled out to everybody he got to second base with her.
On top of this, the fix was put in with many of the men on the Brimfield force who joined in on the lying and said all of these stories were true and that Chief Oliver was a bully who enjoyed humiliating people. Yeah, like a self satisfied, white conservative man would ever engage in behavior like that.
Chief Oliver has a perfectly reasonable explanation. He was simply joking with all of the touching and inappropriate comments, and he was forceful in recent union contract talks so obviously this was a way for all of those greedy, opportunistic public service union workers to retaliate and get their pound of flesh. So the real problems here are humorless feminists and greedy union workers, but sadly Chief Oliver is the one who had to take the fall and resign from his job yesterday.
Brimfield officer who stood up to Chief Oliver recounts bullying, vulgarities and retaliation
This never would have happened if his wife hadn’t driven him to have an affair, which led him to believe mistakenly that his mistress was having an affair, which led him to use a gun to kill one of his mistress’ coworkers who he mistakenly believed was her secret boyfriend.
Jeffrey Keller, president of our Bloomingdale NSPA chapter, was formally charged today for the murder of the man who he mistakenly believed was romantically involved with his mistress. We don’t want to get bogged down in the details, but the real culprit here, Patriot Keller’s wife, is going scot-free. See, back in 2010 she provoked him to get into an argument over a credit card which forced him to beat her over the head with a computer power cable.
Not only did this cause him to get a domestic violence conviction, but it also drove him into the arms of another woman. If his wife had never driven him into the arms of another woman, he never would have begun stalking the man he mistakenly believed to be his mistress’ secret boyfriend and then he never would have used a gun to kill him.
Patriot Keller is clearly an emotionally stable white guy with good reasoning and coping skills who has been victimized by his wife. Yet she doesn’t have a charge against her while Patriot Keller is facing decades in prison. That’s a classic case of Obama regime justice if I’ve ever seen one.
Jeffrey Keller charged in Bloomingdale murder of Nate Fox, 37
Officer James Ashby was simply standing his ground!
We need all of the good police officers we can get so it’s a crying shame that Officer (now a former officer thanks to Dictator Obama’s henchmen) James Ashby from our Rocky Ford NSPA chapter has been charged with murder for doing his job. It all started back in October when he observed a suspicious looking man (in other words, a brown skinned guy) enter a home at 2:00 AM one night.
The fact that the man was just entering his mother’s home after she opened the door for him is beside the point. Officer Ashby had every reason to believe a burglary was about to take place so he was perfectly justified to charge into the house with a drawn gun and without identifying himself.
When the suspicious man picked up a baseball bat, it was time for Officer Ashby to stand his ground and pull the trigger. The whitewash report by the Colorado Bureau of Investigation determined the suspicious man with the bat had his back to Patriot Ashby so he posed absolutely no threat. To that we reply, “Yeah, right.” Anybody who has seen ‘The Untouchables’ remembers what Robert De Niro did with a baseball bat as Al Capone so everybody should appreciate that Patriot Ashby was fighting for his life.
Unfortunately, though, the fix was in (does anybody know where Eric Holder was today?, just sayin’) today at Patriot Ashby’s preliminary hearing, and the judge set Patriot Ashby’s arraignment for February 12. Just another day in Obama’s America.
Judge: Rocky Ford cop will be tried for murder in fatal shooting
Where’s the crime? We all have to go some time, and I can’t imagine a way I would want to go more than by getting shot while horsing around with an unsecured semi automatic pistol with my buddies.
The wet blanket patrol, I mean the Fraser Public Safety Department, has seen fit to arrest Matthew Magdowski from our Macomb County NSPA chapter for second degree murder, using a firearm in the commission of a felony and felon in possession of a firearm. As it happens with all of our members who get arrested, the charges they face grossly distort the real story of what happened. Patriot Magdowski and one of his best friends simply visited an acquaintance of his friend. His friend knew this acquaintance kept a semi automatic pistol in a kitchen drawer, so to kick the fun and frivolity up a notch to get the party started, he pulled the gun out of the drawer and pointed it at Patriot Magdowski for a good chuckle.
This only sounds like the start of every Saturday night for me. Well, one thing led to another and Patriot Magdowski grabbed the gun and pointed it back at his friend. He pulled the trigger, and his friend died. Again, I can’t think of a better way to shuffle off this mortal coil. Besides, his friend (as long as he wasn’t a Jew, Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist, Mormon, Catholic, Shintoist, Satanist, Zoroastrian, Atheist, Scientologist, Sikh, Krishna or Jainist) is in Heaven right now by the side of Jesus Christ so we here at the NSPA don’t see what is such a big deal.
We feel guns should be as accessible as butter knives in every home. Sure, accidents like this happen, but people die every day falling in their bathtubs according to the National Safety Council ( http://www.nsc.org ) so what’s the big deal? Dictator Obama and all of his Marxist acolytes hate guns. That’s the big deal! Jeb 2016!
Police: Man kills friend after taking gun away from him
How was he to know that pulling the trigger would cause the gun to shoot?
Chad Martin Stall from our Hillsborough County chapter was just chilling with his buddy Kadin Koehler when he did what all guys do while hanging with a bro. He pointed a loaded .76 caliber assault rifle at Koehler’s head and pulled the trigger. Patriot Stall sure was surprised when the gun went off, and his buddy dropped dead from a shot to the head. This simply isn’t supposed to happen when two gun lovers get together. As Patriot Stall explained to the police, he didn’t believe the gun would discharge when he pulled the trigger. That sounds perfectly reasonable to me. Well trained, experienced gun owners know their guns and don’t have careless accidents, which is exactly we need to trust them more than the local authorities to keep us safe. This is why nothing will be accomplished by sending him to jail. However, the gun hating Sheriff’s Department and the prosecutor are senselessly plowing ahead with this travesty of justice.
Tampa man shot and killed with assault rifle
Paul Joseph Duddy, the latest victim of Dictator Obama’s plan to confiscate all of the guns owned by brave white men who happen to have small penises.
Paul Joseph Duddy from our Phoenix NSPA chapter bravely went old school earlier this week with his 12-gauge shotgun (I would have used my Black Rain Ordnance BRO-PG5 Standard Semi-Auto Carbine, but I’m not judging) to stop his neighbor’s 7 month old dog from barking. Look, the dog didn’t die, but it stopped barking so as far as we at the NSPA offices are concerned this was a classic win/win for Patriot Duddy and his neighbor. Now, if only the local authorities could see things the same way, everything would be fine. Oh wait, we forgot, the local authorities are only concerned with persecuting guys like us so our only option is to load up on guns so we’ll be ready for fighting them when they come to round us up for the FEMA camps.
Phoenix man accused of shooting neighbor’s dog with 12-gauge
Christopher was only trying to keep the streets of Easley, SC safer with his gun.
Christopher Cox from our Easley chapter was arrested by the unappreciative Pickens County Sheriff’s Department which apparently didn’t care that he was trying to prevent a dangerous woman driver from engaging in a potentially deadly bout of distracted driving.
It all started last month when Patriot Cox asked a husband and wife if he could borrow their cell phone. When the wife gave Patriot Cox her phone, he ran out of the house and drove away. Two weeks later he returned to the couple’s house to say he was there to return the wife’s phone. Patriot Cox asked the husband to accompany him to his car in the driveway to get the phone. Once the husband was outside, Patriot Cox pulled out a gun and shot the husband in the arm. Then right on cue, the gun hating thugs from the Pickens County Sheriff’s Department showed up to arrest him.
Right away the liberal Greenville media labeled this a puzzling action of an unstable white man who shouldn’t have access to guns. Leave it to the lazy reporters not to dig deeper in the story to get to the truth. The truth is that Patriot Cox simply wanted to keep the cell phone away from the wife so she couldn’t gab away with her friends about meaningless girl talk and potentially injure somebody in a car accident because she wasn’t paying attention to the road. Any white male driver who has ever looked over in the car next to him to see a girl yakking away on a cell phone behind the wheel knows exactly what I’m talking about.
Easley man charged with attempted murder over stolen cell phone
Speed, not guns, kills!
Here we go again. The El Mirage police have seen fit to arrest Richard Copeland, El Mirage NSPA chapter member, for simply trying to keep his neighborhood safe. Patriot Copeland had become so tired of the danger posed by cars speeding in front of his house that he did the only sensible thing he could do when a car raced by his house recently. He jumped on his motorcycle and chased the speeding motorist. Then to make sure he got the speed demon’s attention so he could point out to him the dangers of his reckless driving, Patriot Copeland fired three gunshots at the car.
Instead of presenting Patriot Copeland a letter of commendation to thank him for his community service, the El Mirage police slapped him with six felonies. To add insult to injury, the police pressed ahead with these charges against Patriot Copeland after he said he would not do it again. What else would you expect in Obama’s
Soviet Socialist Republic of States America?
Former marine Richard Copeland plays vigilante in El Mirage
We don’t want to brag, but we saw their potential more than 3 years ago.
Back in 2011 Troy McVey and Colby Kronholm caught the eye of Kip Gromp, our Greenville, Maine chapter’s youth outreach coordinator, while he was serving time in the Piscataquis County Jail on a totally false conviction for soliciting a minor. See, Kip was simply in the locker room at the Beth Pancoe Aquatic Center in Bangor to talk about a field trip he was organizing to go to the Falmouth Rod & Gun Club when a gun hating undercover detective arrested him on the false charge as a way to keep him from sharing his love of guns with young men.
Well, Kip made lemon aide out of those lemons when he met Troy and Colby in jail. For the next two years after his release from jail he spent endless hours mentoring Kip and Colby on how to handle a gun in their hands. All of that hard work and the attention he gave them paid off this week when Troy and Colby were able to use their gun skills in Hollywood when they defended themselves from an unarmed homeless man in his 50s. Not only was the man homeless, but he was also black so Troy and Colby knew their lives were surely in danger when they encountered him so they had no choice but to kill him. However, since California is ruled by that crazy, gun hating Governor Moonbeam Jerry Brown, Troy and Colby are back in jail. Again, it’s all part of Dictator Obama’s master plan to eliminate as many small penised white men who love guns as possible from the streets so he can destroy America from within. The problem for Dictator Obama is that the NSPA isn’t going to let this happen. WE ARE TROY MCVEY AND COLBY KRONHOLM!
Two Greenville men arrested in connection with shooting death in California
Alcohol may have been a factor so why are the authorities making such a big deal about the gun? Also, why aren’t the liberal wingnuts now calling for a return to prohibition? Maybe it’s because they only hate guns!
Frank Huffman, president of the NSPA South Forsyth chapter was shamefully arrested last night for using his gun to defend himself (a right guaranteed to him by the 2nd Amendment in case you forgot) from his long time girlfriend’s 25 year old son. The authorities are making much of the fact that the young man who Patriot Huffman killed was unarmed, but we would like to point out that the Forsyth County Sheriff’s Office has speculated that alcohol may have been involved in the domestic kerfuffle that led up to the shooting. We are sure that this was the case and can’t wait for news to be released that the young man who died was loaded to the gills and was responsible for creating such a threatening environment that Patriot Huffman had no choice other than to shoot to kill.
Patriot Huffman’s gun is getting all of the blame, but demon alcohol is the real villain.
Proverbs 20:1 – Wine [is] a mocker, strong drink [is] raging: and whosoever is deceived thereby is not wise.
I’m still looking, but I haven’t found any Bible verses yet that warn about the evils of guns.
South Forsyth man charged in fatal shooting of longtime girlfriend’s adult son
Sorry, ladies, he’s going to be off the market for a while.
We were saddened to learn Thomas Gilbert Jr., the treasurer of the NSPA Manhattan chapter, was charged on Monday for shooting and killing his father with a single shot to the head from his .40 caliber Glock semi-automatic pistol because he had been planning on selling that beautiful gun to me for $200 to make up for the $200 reduction Patriot Gilbert’s multimillionaire father had applied to his monthly allowance.
Unfortunately I won’t be getting my dream gun for such a sweet price because Patriot Gilbert had become so angered by his old man’s Scrooge McDuck imitation that he had to prove he was no slacker by proactively killing his father. All we’re saying here at the NSPA is that Gilbert Sr. would still be alive if he had simply continued paying Patriot Gilbert the full $600 a month allowance that he so richly deserved.
The gun wasn’t the problem here. No, the problem was Gilbert Sr.’s belief that greed is good.
As his expert defense witness pointed out, the gun Rickey Kelley fired was about as dangerous as throwing a handful of rocks.
Today Rickey Kelley from our York NSPA chapter finished the second day of his kangaroo court trial for shooting and killing his ex-girlfriend’s new boyfriend in a case that is really nothing more than a clear case of justifiable self defense on a high note as his expert defense witness made the obvious point that the gun Patriot Kelley fired at Jacob Kiraly was no more dangerous than throwing a handful of rocks at him.
Right on cue, the STASI secret police agent, oh, I mean the Pennsylvania State trooper sent to the witness stand to lie on behalf of the Marxist gun hating police state of Pennsylvania lamely tried to poke holes in Patriot Kelley’s iron clad defense, and we can only hope the jury can see through his lies and propaganda.
This case only highlights the need for us to continue our work to make sure that any emotionally insecure white guy who nurses an endless list of grudges and slights has unfettered access to any gun he wants at any time so he can stand his ground and protect himself.
Gun used to shoot ex’s new boyfriend as accurate as throwing ‘a handful of rocks,’ expert testifies
“The damn gun doesn’t usually shoot,” Shisler’s arrest report quoted him as saying. “You have to squeeze the hell out of the trigger to shoot it.” Well, this sounds like a perfectly reasonable explanation so why does Charles Shisler even need to be bothered by the hassle of going through a trial?
We have the sad duty to report that the fixers at the Bay County Criminal Court today announced they plan to pursue manslaughter charges against Charles Shisler, the Community Outreach Coordinator for our Panama City charter, for his perfectly understandable accidental shooting of his neighbor Justin Ayers.
The facts are clear that Patriot Shisler was in no way at fault. His 9mm Luger accidentally went off back in June, sending a stray bullet 200 feet away into the back of the skull of Mr. Ayers on the very day that Mr. Ayers brought his newborn baby home from the hospital.
While the police were conducting the investigation, Mr. Shisler opined, “The damn gun doesn’t usually shoot. You have to squeeze the hell out of the trigger to shoot it.” After all, who would have ever expected a gun to discharge when applying just a moderate amount of pressure to the trigger?
The clearly compromised Florida Department of Law Enforcement test fired the gun to inspect its functionality and determined it operated properly, which wasn’t a surprise since this has Dictator Obama’s fingerprints all over it. Thankfully Patriot Shisler’s defense attorney has successfully petitioned the court to have further testing conducted on the gun.
However, since we can’t rely on the crooked court system, please pray to Jesus Christ to intervene and set Patriot Shisler free because we will need all of the armed white Patriots we can get in Florida to protect us from all of the Communistic Cubans that Dictator Obama will have swarm into the state now that he has revealed his partnership with the Castro brothers.
Gun in Ayers fatal shooting to be inspected
Look, there’s really no need to proceed with the criminal charges against Steven Lucas because he has made a New Year’s resolution to be more careful with his guns.
The party poopers in the Sacramento County Sheriff’s Department are determined to plow ahead with criminal charges against Steven Lucas, NSPA Sacramento chapter Treasurer, for accidentally killing his girlfriend by shooting her in the head while simply doing a little bit of celebratory shooting to ring in the New Year. This was nothing more than an understandable accident that could happen to anybody who sees the sense in celebrating the New Year by shooting a gun while other people are standing around. We guess the authorities would prefer Patriot Steven to celebrate the New Year holiday all by himself. No, holidays, like guns, are meant to be enjoyed with others.
At this point, nothing will be accomplished by pressing charges against Patriot Lucas. He has already said he is sorry and has made a New Year’s resolution to be a little more careful with his guns. Oh wait, we here at the NSPA just remembered something will be accomplished by pressing charges against him. This will get one more white Christian man who loves guns off the street, which has been Dictator Obama’s master plan all along.
Sheriff: Woman Killed By Boyfriend’s Celebratory New Year’s Gunshot
Listen, there is absolutely nothing out of the ordinary about sharing a bed with a gun.
The lamestream media sure is having a good time destroying the upstanding character of Peachtree City police chief William McCollom, the gun safety training coordinator of our Peachtree City chapter, after he accidentally shot his wife in bed. First, they are making much of the contradictory statements they claim Patriot McCollom made shortly after the accident. He initially said the gun went off accidentally while he was moving it in the bed. A short time later he said the gun went off while he was asleep. As if that in any way makes his statements questionable. Leave it to the lamestream media to get carried away over a simple case of semantics.
They compound this travesty of journalism by interviewing over and over again Peachtree City residents who question what Patriot McCollom was doing with a gun in his bed. This may come as a surprise to all of the chicken hearted liberals who have never held a gun before, but all of us National Small Penis Association members sleep with our guns. The out of the ordinary circumstance in Patriot McCollom’s case is that there was also a woman in the bed.
Nobody can question anymore if a man should be able to share a bed with a man or a woman should be able to share a bed with a woman (which are perfectly legitimate questions), but everybody feels free to question whether a man should be able to share a bed with a gun because white Christian guys who love guns are the one group in Obama’s America that can still be openly persecuted.
We were sleeping when I shot my wife, Georgia police chief says on 911 tape
As the mug shot of Eric Campbell reminds us, we must always be vigilant against police brutality. Also, anybody who has seen the 1983 Michael Douglas movie ‘The Star Chamber’ knows that Eric and his father Edward had nothing to do with the murder of the elderly couple found under a mattress in the back of their stolen truck which Edward happened to be driving.
We here at the NSPA headquarters were shocked when reporters began calling us to ask about our association with Eric and Edward Campbell, the father and son team who are President and Vice President of the NSPA Alvin, Texas chapter.
We were shocked because we could not believe the abuse Eric received at the hands of the Lewisburg Police Department. It all started when the police pulled Eric over for no good reason at all. Thankfully Edward pulled up on the scene in a pickup truck and advocated for his son’s safety, as any good father would do, by shooting the two officers who clearly intended to harm young Eric. Edward’s paternal premonition for the well being of his son turned out to be well justified as you can see by what they did to him from his mug shot.
So not only are Eric and Edward being charged for simply trying to protect themselves from police state overreach with a little good old fashioned American firepower, they are now being accused of murdering an elderly couple from North Carolina. The case against Eric and Edward is purely circumstantial. The state’s case will be built solely upon the fact that the couple’s corpses were found under a mattress in the back of a pickup truck Edward was driving. The pickup truck happened to belong to the dead couple. Like I said, the case is purely circumstantial.
SPOILER ALERT – Edward and Eric are obviously innocent of the couple’s murder as anybody who has seen Michael Douglas’ 1983 film ‘The Star Chamber’ surely knows. Because of a legal technicality, Michael Douglas’ character had to throw out a case involving two men who were driving a van that had a dead boy in the back of the van under a mattress. Douglas’ character then gets involved with the Star Chamber, a shadowy group of judges who dispense justice on cases that fall through the judicial system’s cracks. The Star Chamber hires a hitman to kill the two guys who were driving the van. Douglas’ character then discovers the two guys had nothing to do with the murder and then has to try to save their lives before the hitman gets them. Obviously something like that has happened with the Campbells. Case closed.
This case only reminds us of the importance of our work to make sure anybody can get any gun at any time for protection from a government that wants to take away our freedom!
Granville Co. stunned after elderly couple murdered
We would like to make the salient point that Preston didn’t drive his gun from Texas to Florida. No, he drove his car from Texas to Florida.
23-year-old drives 15 hours to shoot girlfriend’s family
Leave it to the hysterical ninnies at USAToday to point their judgmental fingers at the role Preston Pollard’s gun played in the murder of Patriot Pollard’s girlfriend’s father and the attack on her mother who is now in critical condition. Yet the paper (if that’s what you want to call it, it’s more like a glorified Penny Saver that is mostly given away for free to guests of second tier hotel chains who never bother to read it anyways) never makes mention of the role that Patriot Pollard’s car played in the incident. A quick check on mapquest.com reveals that the distance from Venus, Texas to Marion Oaks, Florida is 1,057 miles.
If Preston didn’t have access to his car, which he drove for 15 hours to get to his girlfriend’s family’s home, none of this would have happened. If he had walked and covered 20 miles a day, it would have taken him 53 days to get there. By then his feet would have been badly blistered, and all he would have wanted to do would have been to take a nap. There would have been no shooting. So yet once again the gun hating lamestream media jumps on the propaganda bandwagon and completely conceals the real story just so they can push their agenda!
Okay, we’ve actually got to distance ourselves on this one.
When word reached our offices today that Tim West, our St. Augustine chapter President, shot and killed his estranged wife in front of their two children before committing “suicide by cop”, we reflexively prepared to come to his defense. However, as we looked into the case, we acknowledged that on this rare occasion we must distance ourselves from a fellow small penised gun lover because we noticed he was one of those guys who wears Oakley sunglasses around his neck. We pitch a wide (yet admittedly also low) tent here at the NSPA to welcome all small penised gun lovers to join our fellowship, but we must draw the line at guys who wear Oakley sunglasses around their necks. We unequivocally declare that no Oakley sunglasses around the neck type guys will ever be welcomed in the NSPA. Guns were not the problem in the case. The Oakley sunglasses were the problem.
Man fatally shot by deputies killed wife, committed ‘suicide by cop’
Let’s hold off on passing any judgment until we have all the facts. We are sure there is a perfectly good explanation for what happened.
We here at the NSPA admit we were more than a little surprised when we got a report that Glen Skidmore from our Mink Shoals chapter was arrested today for shooting and killing his sister and shooting and injuring her son. We’ve always considered Glen to be a good guy with a gun so we are sure there is a perfectly understandable explanation for what happened. For example, maybe he was possessed by demons – 1 Peter 5:8 – Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:
Or maybe he was brainwashed by a covert liberal Marxist gun hating group funded by Michael Bloomberg to commit an act of unspeakable violence just to make guns look bad.
Or maybe it just comes down to the fact that it can be pretty damn difficult to spend a lot of time around family members during the holidays. Hardly anybody is willing to admit this, but you all know what I’m talking about. The important thing is that we hold off on judging Patriot Glen until we know the rest of the story.
Man Charged with Killing Sister, Shooting Nephew
Please pray for a speedy recovery for Matthew Roberts from our Republic, Missouri chapter.
It has been a sad Christmas holiday for the NSPA as we pray for the well being of our brother Patriot Matthew as he recovers from his heartbreaking attempt to commit suicide by drowning himself in his jail cell toilet last week. The only reason he was in jail in the first place and driven to commit this desperate act was because the local gun hating authorities saw fit to arrest him for accidentally shooting his girlfriend in the face.
Not only was it shocking that the police would arrest him for having an accident around the house, but the police apparently never read The Bible because they revealed their liberal bias to side with Matthew’s girlfriend by overlooking our favorite Bible passages when they were called to the house to assess what had happened. Anybody who would have taken these Bible passages to heart would have clearly surmised who was at fault for the accidental shooting.
“Give me any plague, but the plague of the heart: and any wickedness, but the wickedness of a woman.” (Ecclesiasticus 25:13)
“Of the woman came the beginning of sin, and through her we all die.” (Ecclesiasticus 25:22) (Ain’t that the truth!)
Court documents: Republic man accused of shooting woman in the face says it was an accident
Who needs Planned Parenthood and Obamacare for women’s general health care and disease screening services when you have a gun in the house?
Well, Dictator Obama’s much vaunted Obamacare and the harpies at Planned Parenthood with all of the women’s general health care services they allegedly provide while they’re not busy killing babies did absolutely nothing to save Charlene Ross’ life by detecting the heart arrhythmia that threatened her life. No, it took her husband’s accidental gunshot to the back of her head to get her to the hospital, which led to the detection of the arrhythmia. If her husband Boyd hadn’t shot her in the back of the head, she would probably be dead now from a heart attack!
We don’t need the government guiding our healthcare. We need God and guns to guide our healthcare. As Charlene’s son pointed out while reflecting on the incident, “It’s just one of those things where God says, ‘I am going to get you into the hospital one way or the other and shooting you might be the way to do it.’”
Undiagnosed heart issue found in woman after she was accidentally shot by her husband
Wasn’t Obamacare supposed to save a lot of lives?
For the past 24 hours we have been fielding numerous media requests for a statement concerning the arrest of Jim Ackerman from our Las Vegas chapter for shooting and killing a Walgreens employee in a botched robbery. We didn’t take the bait of any of their agenda driven, leading questions and turned the tables on them by asking why after a year of Obamacare are so many people still dying of gunshot wounds. If Obamacare had worked the way it was promised to work, this Walgreens shooting would be a non story. However, the lamestream media would never hold their precious Dictator Obama accountable for his failures, so they changed the subject by focusing on the Walgreens employee who died from a gunshot wound. Needless to say, none of the lamestream reporters had an answer for us when we started asking the questions.
Drugstore shooting near Summerlin leaves one dead; police make arrest
Once again, the media blows everything out of proportion and mangles the facts just to make a white guy with a gun look irresponsible and unstable.
Brandon Blandzinski from our NSPA Shelby County chapter unjustly sits in jail while the local newspaper prints sensationalistic headlines about his arrest on Christmas Day for shooting his wife in the head. Like all good NSPA members, though, you already know not to believe anything you read in the lamestream media. (Only believe what you read on breitbart.com, but you already knew that so I shouldn’t bother typing it.) I heard from another NSPA member from down there that Brandon and his wife are big fans of ‘A Christmas Story’, and they simply tried to re-enact the scene from the end of the movie when little Ralphie almost shoots his eye out with the Red Ryder bb gun. Instead of a bb gun, I heard they used one of Brandon’s handguns and one thing led to another and Samantha ended up with a bullet in her head.
So the real problem here isn’t guns, it’s the sickening overglorification of ‘A Christmas Story’, and it’s not so subtle, anti-gun agenda, as a Christmas classic. First off, let me say any movie that doesn’t feature the birth of Jesus Christ should not be allowed to have “Christmas” in its title. Second, you couldn’t get away from that damn movie from Christmas Eve to Christmas Day because the damn thing was playing around the clock on both TNT and TBS so it’s no surprise that a couple of naïve kids like Brandon and Samantha fell under its narcotic like haze of influence, which led to the accident that has poor Patriot Brandon in jail facing felony charges. Though Ted Turner no longer has any operational involvement with TNT or TBS, he started the channels and is a well documented looney tunes Liberal who must still be pulling the strings somewhere at those channels to have that gun hating propagandist film shown so relentlessly. Well, Ted Turner’s ploy worked and got a white good guy with a gun locked up in jail.
Wife shot in head Christmas Day; husband charged
It was a good thing he had his gun in his car.
Ryan David Balla from our Ford City chapter luckily had his gun with him when he had to defend himself from a busy body “do-gooder” who stuck his nose into a small traffic incident that was none of his business. Patriot Balla was able to use the gun to scare away the “do-gooder” and his female passenger before they could cause any serious problems at the scene. This incident provides yet another example (as if we need any more) of why we need to make sure well trained, white, small penised good guys have access to their guns at all times.
However, leave it to ultra liberal court system in Pennsylvania to see the matter completely differently. They treated this good guy with a gun as if he were a criminal and charged him with aggravated assault by vehicle while driving under the influence of alcohol, the sale or transfer of firearms, driving under the influence of alcohol, making terroristic threats, reckless endangerment, harassment and traffic offenses. Why didn’t they just cut to the chase and simply charge him for being a white guy with a gun?
Alcohol, drugs tied to road rage incidents in Manor
Look, he said he was sorry.
The county prosecutor was out for the blood of Patrick Joseph Salois from our Great Falls chapter and asked for a 10 year prison term at Patriot Salois’ sentencing hearing, which shouldn’t even have been held anyways because all Patriot Salois did was accidentally bump the barrel of his shotgun into his wife’s mouth while doing the important fatherly task of instructing his 6 year old son on how to load and unload a Glock pistol. Patriot Salois also accidentally pointed a gun at his 11 month old son during this family time they were spending together. Leave it to liberal, family hating prosecutors to try to criminalize spending time with the family during an era when most men are AWOL from their families.
Look, it’s not like anyone got shot. Patriot Salois’ wife lost a couple of teeth in the incident, but the same thing happened to my mother when she bit into an unpitted kalamata olive a month ago so it’s really not that big of a deal. Besides, Patriot Salois was really, really sorry for what he did and promised nothing like this would ever happen again. Thankfully the judge gave him a five year deferred sentence but warned him he will go to prison for 20 years if he doesn’t comply with all of the probation conditions over the next five years. Patriot Salois is just another gun loving white man who must bear the burden of liberal, gun hating oppression.
Man sentenced for attacking wife, children with guns
Okay, so according to the Dayton Daily News Brian Harleman from our New Paris, Ohio chapter critically injured his ex-girlfriend and killed her 10 year old daughter with a gun he purchased the day after being released from a night in jail last week for a domestic violence charge against his ex-girlfriend, but since he killed himself with that same gun we will never know what buttons his ex-girlfriend pushed to cause this to happen. Also, we here at the NSPA don’t feel this story provides any justification for 3 day waiting periods for gun purchases.
It’s not like he was trying to do something like getting an abortion on demand in Ohio, which thankfully would have required him to get state-directed counseling and then wait 24 hours before getting the procedure. We realize there are some things that require a cooling off period in the hopes that good Christian common sense will steer a misguided soul away from committing a wicked deed.
Two dead, one injured in murder-suicide
Neither a borrower nor a lender be,
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
Michael Burris from our Fergus Falls chapter has just been convicted of murdering his nephew with a gunshot to the head, but we would like to point out the gun was not the cause of the trouble. The shooting resulted from an argument over an unpaid $20,000 drug related debt Patriot Burris’ nephew owed him. If Patriot Burris and his nephew had read their Shakespeare and taken Polonius’ warning about being a borrower or lender to heart, none of this would have happened. However, this is not a surprise since both Patriot Burris and his nephew were “educated” in public schools so their Marxist, pension obsessed “teachers” weren’t about to do any real work and teach them any Shakespeare. So, ultimately, the real problem here is not guns, it is public school teachers.
Fergus Falls man sentenced to more than 12 years for murder of nephew
Gun safety training could have prevented this tragedy.
It will be a sad Christmas for NSPA member Brandon Bartlett from our York County, Virginia branch who is sitting in jail right now and facing a second-degree murder charge for shooting and killing a 68 year old neighbor after mistaking him for a deer. This tragedy underscores the need for gun safety training because this could have been perfectly avoidable if the neighbor had been trained to call out, “I’m not a deer. Don’t shoot, I’m not a deer.” Instead, the neighbor prowled the neighborhood under the cover of nighttime darkness and caused this big misunderstanding to happen. There’s nothing that makes us madder here at the NSPA offices than when we see proud gun owners being victimized by people who don’t know how to act around guns.
Man killed in York County shooting identified
Guns don’t hurt people, people with guns hurt people.
Guns don’t hurt people, dogs with guns hurt people!
Over the past few months a number of vicious, gun hating, dog lovers have e-mailed horrible threats to me for my recent posts supporting NSPA members who have been in the news for shooting dogs. Well, the tragic news from Sheridan, Wyoming in which a dog “accidentally” shot Richard Fipps only proves my point that dogs are sinister beasts that cannot be trusted. If you still don’t believe me, just open up your Bible!
Philippians 3:2 – Beware of dogs, beware of evil workers, beware of the concision.
Revelation 22:15 – For without [are] dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.
I also happen to have inside information from my friends at WorldNetDaily who are preparing to release a bombshell investigative report that Dictator Obama has a secret program to train dogs to use head mounted guns so they can be used as guards at the FEMA concentration camps once he begins to round up all of us gun owners. So to all of you gun hating, dog lovers out there, let’s hear what you have to say when you are locked up in a FEMA concentration camp, and Beau is pointing a gun at you.
Dog shoots man: Accidental shooting injures man
Since when did trying to be a father become a crime?
Okay, fellow NSPA Patriots, Michael Hecht from our Cincinnati chapter is in jail tonight for doing nothing more than trying to re-enter his 8 year old son’s life last night. The hysterical media is getting ahead of the facts and insisting that he stormed the home of his ex-wife with a home made gun when he heard her new husband was planning on adopting her son and giving him his last name. The media irresponsibly claims Hecht intended to kill the stepfather, who viciously assaulted Hecht with a glass and held him down until the police arrived.
That certainly isn’t the whole story according to what I’ve heard from my associates down there in the men’s rights movement. Granted, Hecht had not been involved in his son’s life much for the past 8 years, but what we’re guessing is that he was trying to make amends and made the gun at his home for an Indian Guides project and intended to bring his son to the local Indian Guides meeting. Can you think of a more wholesome activity Hecht could bond over with his son? No, I didn’t think so. The stepfather obviously jumped to the conclusion that Hecht was going to use the gun against him so he jumped the gun (no pun intended) and committed the felonious assault against Hecht. However, thanks to Dictator Obama’s judicial system, it is Hecht who is in jail.
Man Plots To Kill Ex-Wife’s New Husband Ahead Of Eight-Year-Old Son’s Adoption
Here we go again! The lamestream media is again rushing to judgment against a proud NSPA member. This time Stephen Rozniakowski is the victim. For those members of the lamestream media who slept through their high school civics classes, we here at the NSPA would like to remind them that our court system in theory views everybody who comes before them as innocent until proven guilty. Sure, Rozniakowski was rushed to the hospital after shooting his ex-fiancée to death and shooting and critically injuring her 14 year old daughter Monday night. Sure, the Plymouth Township Police previously arrested him with 25 counts of stalking and 50 counts of harassment for allegedly contacting his ex-fiancée repeatedly through phone calls and text messages.
However, the lamestream media is already portraying poor Rozniakowski as an emotionally unstable man who had a cache of guns in his house that he used to vent his crybaby rage when he hasn’t even had his day in court yet. We haven’t had a chance to review the evidence, and we are sure there is a perfectly reasonable explanation for what happened so we are asking the alleged media to slow down and stop their rush to judgment. I guess that is asking for too much, though, in Obama’s America.
Former Girlfriend Feared Delco Officer, Got Protection Before Deadly Shooting
Read more: http://www.nbcphiladelphia.com/news/local/Police-Officer-Accused-Stalker-Killed-Former-Girlfriend-Officials-colwyn-285971091.html#ixzz3MJNyO1RC
So why isn’t anybody calling for a ban on machetes?
Bradley Stone, a charter NSPA member from our Philadelphia chapter, has been in the news recently for allegedly killing his ex-wife and five of her family members before committing suicide yesterday. Right on cue all of the opportunistic gun haters got into a hissy fit over Stone allegedly using a .40-caliber handgun to kill 5 of the 6 victims and said this is yet another in an endless number of examples of why there is a need for sensible (allegedly sensible, author’s note) gun control legislation. Well, we here at the NSPA want to know why nobody is making much of the fact that Stone allegedly killed his ex-wife’s 14 year old niece with a machete. Where are all the calls for machete control legislation? Well, don’t wait for Dictator Obama and all of his henchmen to do anything to protect you from a machete wielding black man because they will be too busy trying to confiscate guns from totally well balanced, emotionally mature white guys who happen to have small penises. When the black men with machetes come hunting for you, you better hope the gun haters haven’t already taken away your guns.
Bradley Stone found dead in Montgomery County shooting
OCCUPY LORAIN, OHIO!
This is a call to arms for all NSPA members and supporters who are able to participate in our March on Lorain, Ohio tomorrow to protest the Lorain Police Department’s racial profiling and persecution of two upstanding white guys who were only using their Second Amendment rights while enjoying a few alcoholic beverages while sharing a little father/son quality time. The Marxist police and prosecutor will claim Joseph and Thomas Boyette from our Lorain/Elyria chapter were jeopardizing the safety of their neighbors while shooting up to 36 rounds from a handgun while bonding over a few drinks, that in no way diminished their judgment or their motor skills, on their front porch.
These are innocent, small penised, white, responsible gun owners, and their lives matter. However, the Obama administration will do whatever it can to take away their guns and break up their family. That is why we must stand up and fight. See you in Lorain!
Father, son charged with shooting gun during night of drinking
We need a new Santa for our Christmas Party where we will say, “Merry Christmas”, not, “Happy Holidays.”
Due to the unfortunate incarceration of Frank Perry from our West Memphis, Arkansas chapter, we need a stand in to play Santa at the National Small Penis Association’s Christmas Party to be held this Saturday at the Belgrade Gardens restaurant in Barberton, Ohio. We had not planned on having a party this year until we attended the Sandy Springs Gun Club and Range “Holiday” party (please see below). After we realized even they were kowtowing to the atheists in America (Obama’s America, that is) who are waging a war on Christmas, we decided to host a full fledged Christmas party.
Mr. Perry planned on being in Akron this weekend to visit the American Toy Marble Museum (http://www.americantoymarbles.com) and to visit the NSPA national headquarters so he offered to play the part of Santa at our Christmas party. However, he accidentally shot his wife to death in their home last night. For some reason the police did not believe his perfectly plausible explanation that he thought she was an intruder. Well, if she had been an intruder, he would have kept her safe by having that gun in the house and using it. That is why we must continue to work with our friends at the NRA to make sure good guys can have their guns under any circumstances to keep all of us safe.
If you are interested in playing Santa, please e-mail me through the “CONTACT” link at the top of the page.
Wife shot; Memphis man charged with murder
All I want for Christmas is an IWI Tavor SAR-B16 5.56/223 Flat Top W/Rail, 30rd AR15 Mag!
The NSPA would like to thank all of our gracious hosts at the Sandy Springs Gun Club and Range who made our stay in Georgia so pleasant while we were down there to visit with Santa and to collect guns for our Glocks For Micrococks program. While it was a productive trip that provided us plenty of time for gun loving fellowship, we must acknowledge we were a little disappointed that they said “Happy Holidays” rather than “Merry Christmas.” This is the last place in America where we thought we would have to fight the war being waged against Christmas which led to an unfortunate misunderstanding with one of the party organizers which led to a phone call to the Fulton County Sheriff’s Department.
Unfortunately we had to leave before anybody from the Sheriff’s Department arrived to clear everything up because we had to get back to Akron, OH for a screening of Kirk Cameron’s “Saving Christmas” at the Ernest Angley Grace Cathedral Church. Now Kirk Cameron is a guy who gets Christmas. He’s a guy we will go into battle with any day to fight for the true meaning of Christmas!
Georgia gun club offers weapon-wielding photo ops with Santa
A completely well reasoned, emotionally stable white guy has an AR-15 in his hands – what could possibly go wrong? NOTHING, nothing that is until the police show up to infringe on his 2nd Amendment rights.
The NSPA’s Portland chapter has an immediate job opening for our Northwestern Region Director of Recruitment Operations. This is a temporary job that will last 30 years until our current Director, Paul Alan Ropp, completes his prison sentence for using his AR-15 to defend himself from government overreach.
The Multnomah County Circuit Court may claim he was sentenced to prison for attempted aggravated murder, assaulting a law enforcement animal, burglary, conspiracy to commit burglary, attempted kidnapping, and blah blah blah. However, we here at the NSPA know the real reason. Dictator Obama is preparing (with financing provided by that conniving shylock Michael Bloomberg) to lock up gun owners throughout America (or what’s left of it) in FEMA concentration camps. It is in their interest to make pre-emptive strikes and arrest as many small penised Patriots as possible now so there won’t be anybody left to stand up to them when they enact their plan.
Man who shot Portland cop with AR-15, killed police dog gets 30 years in prison
Sure, Shawn Nicely from our Mount Jackson chapter has been charged in the death of his neighbor because of one little bullet that just happened to go slightly stray from the target he was using for practice, but this was nothing more than an uncommon accident that hardly ever happens anymore thanks to the diligent work of our good friends at the NRA.
Just ask our big buddy Wayne LaPierre, the NRA’s CEO and Executive Vice President who recently said, “Teaching safe and responsible gun ownership works, and the NRA has a long and proud history of doing exactly that. Our Eddie Eagle Child Safety Program has taught 25 million young people that if they see a gun, they should do four things: stop, don’t touch it, leave the area, and call an adult. As a result of this and other private-sector programs, fatal firearms accidents are at the lowest level in 100 years.”
As we here at the NSPA always like to point out, you’re more likely to get struck by lightning than to be killed by a gun accident. According to the National Weather Service there have been 26 lightning related deaths in the United States so far this year. According to a nationwide survey of law enforcement records there have only been 1,454 people who have died as a result of accidental shootings so far this year. Granted, there have been 1,428 more deaths this year attributed to accidental shootings than to lightning strikes based on these statistics, but I would like to point out that there are still two and a half weeks left in this year and I saw on the news that it has been raining heavily on the West Coast the past few days so that probably means there will be a lot of thunderstorms which will probably mean a lot of people will die from lightning strikes before the end of the year which will prove once again that you’re more likely to get struck by lightning than to be killed in a gun accident. CASE CLOSED!
Arrest in Deadly Shooting Accident in Mount Jackson
It is with heavy hearts and inverted penises that we regretfully announce the passing of Danny Tutor from our Tupelo, Mississippi chapter who tragically lost his life Tuesday night in what the Lee County Sheriff’s Department is calling a case of murder/suicide. We here at the NSPA beg to differ. We are calling this a case of a man can only listen to so much nagging from his wife before she pushes him too far. Meanwhile, the local media is having a field day pretending to be the New York Times by making so much of the fact that Danny used one of the many guns in his house to shoot his wife multiple times before turning the gun on himself. The Lee County Sheriff’s Department is asking for anybody with additional information on this case to contact them. Hopefully they will be able to get to the bottom of this and determine what Danny’s wife was nagging him about to cause all of this to happen.
Saltillo man shoots wife, kills self
The United States is turning into a nanny state populated by a bunch of wussies! My daddy Judah Harvey Hannity whupped me plenty of times with a switch and even shot me a couple of times when I acted up, and I turned out to be a perfectly well adjusted adult man. But I guess that was a different time that is now long gone now that we have Dictator Obama in office and parents get hauled away by the jack booted police thugs for disciplining their children the old fashioned way.
Please pray to Jesus Christ to get Travis Blake Carlton (see, there is something about guys with three names and membership in the NSPA) from our Pickens County chapter out of jail. Here’s a father who was actually involved in his son’s life and cared enough about his son to try to teach him right from wrong by delivering a little fatherly discipline. It’s not like his son is going to die or anything, but that doesn’t matter because the government just sees another white guy whose gun needs to be confiscated.
Deputies: Father charged with attempted murder in shooting of 4-year-old
Sean Houle, NSPA ace outdoorsman from our Boston chapter, has been on loan to the NRA, our sister organization or more like our brother organization because sister organization sounds kind of feminine and we here in the NSPA are completely masculine in every way, for the past year to help them restructure the NRA’s Hunter Services Division. Below we have reprinted just a small sample of the information Sean and the NRA have posted @ http://hservices.nra.org
When it comes to hunting and skills training, America’s 13.7 million hunters have known for years where to go: the NRA. Working in cooperation with the state of New York in 1949, we developed hunter safety training as it’s known today. Since then, as our proven hunting education principles have been adopted by one state and province after another, we’ve expanded our services and assistance to hunters.
Advanced training for young hunters. The latest research and tactics for hunting success. Public works that benefit hunters. With all this and more, it’s easy to see why NRA is the number-one hunters’ organization in America. For more information, call us at (800) 492-4868 or email firstname.lastname@example.org.
Deer hunter mistakenly shoots jogger on Cape Cod
Scott Peters from our Chicago chapter sits in jail for attempted murder, aggravated battery, and discharge of a firearm at a police officer for allegedly shooting McHenry County Sheriff’s deputies Khalia Satkiewicz and Dwight Maness on Oct. 16. In addition to that miscarriage of justice, his 67 year old aunt, Kathryn Kriepki, who gave him the gun used in that incident, has just been charged with delivering firearms to someone who does not possess a Firearm Owner’s Identification card.
Look at the face of this noble white man. Does he really look like somebody capable of an erratic, violent attack against law enforcement officers? Also, we want to know why any law enforcement officers near Chicago would spend any of their time harassing good Christian white people when there are so many black people shooting each other in Chicago.
Okay, Gregory Graf from our Lehigh Valley chapter has been charged with shooting his stepdaughter to death and will likely be charged with sexually abusing her corpse. Not to change the subject, but we’re pretty sure some black people shot some other black people in Chicago this weekend.
Pa. man charged with stepdaughter’s murder might have abused her corpse, DA says
We here at the NSPA don’t want to toot our own horns about the advances that have been made by white guys with small penises since we started our work two years ago, but we’ve got to point out the obvious: White guys who have small penises are becoming cool now, just like the Rat Pack (with the exception of that Sammy Davis Jr., who we always thought was the weak link in the Rat Pack, in fact we could never understand why he got more attention than Joey Bishop) was in the 60s. Check out this picture of four of our fellow Patriots who represent the very finest in the White Puny Penis Pride movement who just happened to be in Memphis and decided to take a group photo and just randomly selected the Lorraine Motel which by sheer coincidence they later found out happened to be where Martin Luther King Jr. was assassinated.
In other news, we are excited to report the 2015 NSPA national convention will be held in Jackson, Tennessee. We are still working on the dates and selecting the hotel. We will be posting more information soon so you can plan your vacation time to join us for three days of fellowship.
Free John Guzy! Small penised Patriots of the world, UNITE! Okay, Patriots, we must rally behind the great white Patriot John Guzy who was arraigned today in Chenango County Court for doing nothing more than standing his ground against the annoyance of people who drive the speed limit. After the police (doing the bidding of the gun hating Dictator Obama) arrested Mr. Guzy, they violated the sanctity of his home and confiscated all of his guns. Apparently, nothing is sacred anymore.
Shooting survivor recounts deadly traffic dispute
After all of the dog shooting stories we’ve posted over the past few months, we here at the NSPA are thrilled that an unknown armed Patriot has finally gotten around to using his gun to shoot a cat. It is a well known fact that witches can shape shift into cats, but Pope Innocent VIII put it best in 1484 when he said, “the cat was the devil’s favourite animal and idol of all witches.” The gunman in this case was doing the Lord’s work.
Stray cat’s leg amputated after shooting – ‘Peggy,’ a 1-year-old tabby, is up for adoption
Once again a white, small penised Patriot who has three names, Glenn Allen Taylor, needs our Christian prayers to help him escape from his government confinement in jail for doing nothing more than shooting his wife in the back of her head in self defense during a domestic dispute that I’m sure she probably initiated by nagging him for something stupid, like most women do. As the article linked below clearly documents, Patriot Allen had no choice other than to defend himself from his wife by shooting her in the back of her head because she had a knife and was threatening to damage one of his paintings. Hello, Dorchester County Sheriff’s Department, haven’t any of you ever heard of justifiable homicide?
Ladson man says he fatally shot wife in self defense
Jody Lee Hunt may have killed four white people today with his gun, but don’t let that distract us from the real threat we face from black on black violence, just like Rudy Giuliani warned us about because there are hardly any heavily armed, emotionally immature, unstable white guys who lack coping skills and nurse a score of grudges while wallowing in an endless simmer of self pity.
W.Va. Shooter Held Personal, Professional Grudges
Sure, a lot of egg headed gun haters will point to the incident at David Eckhardt’s home as an example of why the presence of a lot of guns in a house will increase the likelihood of a family member being shot, but these are the same agenda driven Marxists who insist the presence of a lot of human created carbon dioxide in the atmosphere will eventually have irreversible, systemic, long term consequences for every living creature on the face of this planet.
Don’t believe the “climate change” lies. Human produced carbon dioxide in the atmosphere is as harmless as an emotionally unstable white guy with a gun in his hand.
Man shoots his wife, father at home
43-year-old kills himself; victims remain in hospital
FREE KENNETH CAPLAN!
The NSPA Houston chapter is working furiously to free our fellow small penised Patriot Kenneth Caplan, who was arrested by Houston police (we never would have thought any police department in Texas would have been infiltrated by Marxist Islamic agents intent on confiscating our guns) for doing nothing more than using his Second Amendment right to stand his ground against women drivers.
Off-Duty Cop Allegedly Shoots Woman In Head During Road Rage Incident
Please pray for the speedy recovery of our spiritual brother Patriot Raymond Johnson. The Oregon City police (government thugs who secretly hate armed white Patriots, if you ask me) suspect he was injured by a self inflicted gunshot after he shot and killed his wife in their home while their two children were in the house. This was probably an accident that occurred while I’m guessing he was showing her how to safely clean a gun when she suddenly distracted him by nagging him like only a woman can and then while I’m sure he was calmly trying to redirect her to a peaceful state of mind the gun fell to the floor and shot her and then bounced up and shot him.
Some liberal haters may point out that Johnson was a registered sex offender and never should have been allowed to own a gun. Then they’ll start whining that this case is an example of why background checks should be required before all gun purchases. Leave it to the liberals to miss the central issue here, NAGGING WIVES!
Wife dies, husband critical in Oregon double shooting
LARRY MCQUILLIAMS – REST IN PEACE, WELL ARMED, SMALL PENISED WHITE MAN!
This is a sad day for the National Small Penis Association as proud Patriot Larry McQuilliams lost his life today after his noble attempt to burn down the Mexican consulate in Austin, Texas to keep those large penised brown skinned people out of OUR country and his brave pre-emptive strike against the government and its plan to confiscate our guns by shooting over 100 rounds of ammunition into a United States Federal Courthouse and the Austin Police Department headquarters.
While we may have to bid farewell to our small penised brother, we can take solace in the knowledge that Truth Tellers like Glenn Beck and Michael Savage are still around to get other fellow Patriots riled up against our government and local law enforcement officials.
We can also be thankful that Republican Governor Elect Greg Abbott has vowed to sign a bill to legalize open carry in Texas as soon the legislation reaches his desk. We are only sad, though, that proud Patriot Larry McQuilliams will not live to see that glorious day.
Austin gunman has criminal history
“I am an avid collector, and my hobby is no more dangerous than if I were to collect stamps,” the father wrote. His wife called that “ridiculous” in another court document.
Yes, gun collecting is no more dangerous than stamp collecting. I couldn’t have said it better myself. This insightful quote was given by a brave Patriot from Lake Stevens, Washington whose 3 year old son was accidently shot by a 4 year old neighbor with one of his unsecured guns in his home. This Patriot’s nagging ex-wife had been acting like a horrible harpy and complained about the dangers posed by all of the guns he kept around the house during their divorce proceedings. The 4 year old neighbor could have just as easily poked the 3 year old’s eye out with those tweezers used to pick up stamps, but you won’t hear Moms Demand Action calling for stamp bans. Welcome to Obama’s America!
Parents of Lake Stevens boy shot in mouth had argued about guns in home
If Dictator Obama gets his way and confiscates our guns, bananas are all we will have to defend ourselves with. Until then we must continue our struggle to put a real gun in the hand of every white guy, particularly those who may be prone to poor judgment, in America. Only then will we be able to take our country back.
I predict by the end of the week Michael Bloomberg will be calling for a ban on banana sales in New York City. Heaven help us!
Colorado man arrested after pointing banana at officers like a gun
Sadly, this is one time that the dog comes out ahead of the totally stable white guy with a gun. The American flag outside the NSPA office is flying at half staff today to honor the memory of our brother, Dennis Emery, who only had 34 run-ins with the Pinellas Park police over the last 2 years. I hope that damn border collie is pleased with itself.
Police: Man threatened dog, fatally shot self
LINDSEY GRAHAM – THE FIST OF TRUTH AND JUSTICE!
Lindsey Graham, one of the NSPA’s favorite Senators, gets his fist ready once again to deliver some truth and justice. Below is the post I entered on his Facebook page to thank him for speaking truth to power. – Lee Greenwood Hannity
Lindsey, thank you for calling out the House Benghazi report for, as you said, being “full of crap.” The report, which was produced by the Republican controlled House Intelligence committee, cleared the Obama administration of committing any improper actions, but you are thankfully ready to get to the bottom of this obviously fixed report. I’m glad you said it was “full of crap” because I’ve heard you are very good at prying open and probing things that are full of crap. I’m sure you’re ready to roll up your shirt sleeves and get your hands dirty. In fact, I’m so sure of your abilities that I’m going to give you a well deserved nickname, The Fist of Truth and Justice. Stick it to them, Lindsey!
Lindsey Graham Won’t Accept New Benghazi Report: It’s ‘Full Of Crap’
If you have three names,……you might be a member of the National Small Penis Association.
Curtis Wade Holley, another middle aged white guy who loved guns and hated the government. Oh, and he killed a Sheriff’s Deputy in an ambush attack. Where would the National Small Penis Associaton be without Patriots like him?
Man Who Ambushed Cops Had Anti-Government Beliefs
Let’s not jump to conclusions. Nicholas Tuinstra looks like a perfectly stable white guy so I’m sure there may have been a reason he shot and killed his estranged wife and her boyfriend. He may have simply stopped by the house to get his beer can collection and his Ted Nugent cds when he slipped on a patch of snow on the sidewalk, causing his gun to fall out of his coat pocket (Wisconsin has concealed carry – thank you, Scott Walker). The gun probably hit the sidewalk and accidentally discharged. It’s not like he’s an emotionally immature, unstable cry baby white guy who can’t handle the typical disappointments that life offers everybody.
Weapon sought in Berlin double killing, described as domestic violence
TREVOR LEE WHITE, ARMED WITH JUST A GUN AND HIS MIGHTY MITE, TRIED TO KEEP THE CITIZENS OF SNOW CAMP, NORTH CAROLINA SAFE FROM THE CHANCE OF A FAMILY DOG’S BITE. THE COWARDLY POLICE CAVED TO THE LIBERALS AND THE TRITE AND ARRESTED THIS BRAVE PATRIOT TUESDAY NIGHT, BUT THE NATIONAL SMALL PENIS ASSOCIATION HAS JUST BEGUN THE FIGHT!
Dr. Seuss (actually this is how we think Dr. Seuss would have written this if he had been born with a very small penis)
Man charged with animal cruelty after dog shot, killed
Man reportedly bragged about killing dog in Facebook video
Read more: http://www.wxii12.com/news/Man-charged-with-animal-cruelty-after-dog-shot-killed/29837042#ixzz3JjOB8rne
Another good guy with a gun uses his God given 2nd Amendment rights to put down a vicious beast. Hopefully the government sanctioned police force will not apprehend the brave small penised Patriot who committed this act of bravery.
Readers react after Holland Township dog shot, body dumped in ravine
PHILIP SAILORS – NSPA SENIOR CIRCUIT
Philip Sailors shot and killed Rodrigo Diaz after Mr. Diaz mistakenly pulled into his driveway while trying to find a friend’s home to take him roller skating. When Mr. Sailors saw a brown skinned man in his driveway, he had no choice but to stand his ground with a gun and hollow tipped bullets. When Mr. Diaz started to back his car out of the driveway, Mr. Sailors had no choice but to continue standing his ground even as the unarmed young man was trying to drive away. Thankfully Mr. Sailors only received a sentence of one year of probation and a $500 fine. With Dictator Obama preparing to let 5 million illegal brown skinned people stay in this country, we need all of the small penised Patriots we can get to guard our driveways.
Thomas E. Fallis, a good white guy with a gun who happened to accidentally shoot his wife in the head while doing nothing more than trying to get her to stop smoking, is facing jail time if we fail to act in his defense. While the courts are focusing on her death, they are ignoring the fact that he did get her to stop smoking, thereby rescuing her from a long, painful, eventual death from lung cancer. The National Small Penis Association has just established The Small Penis Legal Defense Fund to help defend innocent white guys like Mr. Fallis who have been arrested for exercising their 2nd Amendment Rights.
Former deputy arrested in wife’s 2012 Weld County shooting death
Oklahoma Republican Governor Mary Fallin – NSPA Woman of the Year for 2014!
Though she may not have a penis, we are sure Republican Governor Mary Fallin would have a very small one if women could have penises because she is a National Small Penis Association member at heart. When she is not busy doing the Lord’s work in fighting against raising the minimum wage in Oklahoma, Governor Fallin is straining to exude contrived macho swagger in displaying her love for guns. In other words, she’s our kind of girl!
Click the link below to watch Governor Fallin drive a tank to crush a car and shoot a M134 Gatling gun at the grand opening of a shooting range that serves alcohol. Shooting ranges and alcohol go together just like Governor Fallin and men who have small penises.
Wilshire Gun becomes first range in state to sell alcohol
Gov. Mary Fallin kicks off grand opening by driving tank
Once again, an armed Patriot uses his gun to protect himself from a vicious beast. If New Hampshire didn’t have open carry, the Patriot would have been covered in slobber.
ROBERT J. KINNISON – THE FUTURE OF THE NSPA!
The National Small Penis Association is proud to award Robert J. Kinnison our Rising Star award for 2014 for his stalwart work to counteract the shrill voices of those nagging harpies over at Moms Demand Action. Robert is a proud proponent of White Pride, and we are so proud to count him as one of us here at the NSPA. Robert embodies that special magic that occurs when white guys with small penises are paired with powerful guns. Robert, we expect big things from you in 2015, and we’ll be watching you all the way.
Happy #VeteransDay to all. And it is nice to have Sgt. Andrew Tahmooressi back home.
I only wish I could wish Donald Trump a happy Veterans Day, but I can’t because he never served. Those liars at The Daily News say he finagled a medical deferment, which doesn’t match with his claims that he didn’t serve in Vietnam because he had a high draft number. Well, what do you expect from the lamestream media?
Here’s a picture from the National Small Penis Association/Open Carry Texas party we had in Galveston over the weekend. Clyde demonstrates his effective gun placement technique to add that special sense of adequacy only a gun can provide.
Please visit the KSTP-TV5 facebook page so you can click the like button to support all of the good work they are doing. I just visited their page and posted the following message:
Dear KSTP-TV5 Minneapolis ABC affiliate, thank you for your Emmy worthy news coverage of mayor Betsy Hodges’ scandalous decision to take a picture with a young black man and flash what were obviously gang signs. While the liberal whiners in your audience (Minneapolis after all gave us Hubert Humphrey so there are plenty of these types in the city) complained that this was shoddy, racist, agenda driven, poorly researched hack work that can’t even be categorized as journalism, I disagree. Your news department only wants to keep us safe. I’m doing my part by passing along a picture I found of Mary Richards, an employee of a rival Minneapolis TV station’s news department, flashing obvious gang signs to her coworker, Sue Ann Nivens. Please have your great reporter Jay Kolls look into this and help keep Minneapolis safe.
Woodville officer Steve Gilkerson saves the day by using his gun to disable a curious chocolate Labrador retriever. White guys with guns to the rescue once again.
Residents react with shock over shooting of dog
Mayor, police chief support officer
Read more at http://www.toledoblade.com/Police-Fire/2014/11/06/Residents-react-with-shock-over-shooting-of-dog.html#ogUzMyHfuhA22wV3.99
Wilcox County, Georgia 1950s
Despite what all of the pundits said about Georgia being in play for the Democrats, the small penised white guy vote came out and kept Georgia RED!
EVEN BETTER NEWS THAN ALL OF THE REPUBLICAN VICTORIES LAST NIGHT!
The Bullet That Could Make 3-D Printed Guns Practical Deadly Weapons
DON SURBER RECEIVES THE NATIONAL SMALL PENIS ASSOCIATION’S EXCELLENCE IN JOURNALISM AWARD FOR 2014!
The NSPA has awarded Charleston Daily Mail editorial columnist our Excellence in Journalism Award for providing an eloquent voice on behalf of emotionally insecure, stridently obnoxious small penised white guys who are regularly victimized and ignored by the lamestream liberal media. Don provided a fine sample of his writing style on his personal blog in which he referred to Michael Brown as an animal who had to be put down by Officer Darren Wilson. Don Surber’s keen intellect and insight serve as a benchmark for all aspiring journalists in America.
Please contact Don to congratulate him on his award. email@example.com
White guys with guns – a winning combination!
Police probe fatal Putnam shooting
“Passing along a family tradition of hunting and shooting is not something that we should have to ask our leaders for permission to do,” Indiana Governor Mike Pence (R) said at the NRA national convention in Indianapolis, Indiana this past April. Mike, I couldn’t have said it better myself.
Baby dies after gun accident in Kokomo, Indiana
Drunken trombone-playing clown fires gun from garage, police say
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on October 21, 2014 at 2:22 PM, updated October 21, 2014 at 2:54 PM
GRAND TRAVERSE COUNTY, MI — Police arrested a 54-year-old man after he was allegedly seen wearing camouflage pants and a clown mask, shooting a gun at a can in the street. Grand Traverse County sheriff’s deputies said the man also was seen playing a trombone at one point, all the while as he stood in a garage. The man, described as intoxicated, was arrested for a personal protection order violation. No one was hurt and the gun turned out to be a pellet gun.
Deputies responded at about 10:30 a.m. Monday, Oct. 20 to a Blair Township residence on a report of a man, standing in a garage, pointing a firearm at surrounding houses. A caller to 911 said the man also was shooting at a can in the road. The caller told dispatchers the man was “wearing camo pants and a clown mask and at one point was playing a trombone.” Deputies arrived at the scene, determined the man was drunk, and arrested the man on the personal protection order violation. No one was injured.
Sure, take away his gun, and all he’ll be able to protect himself with is a clown horn. This is life in Obama’s America, and this is why we must support the NRA.
GOPer DeMaio Mocked Dem Staffer With Photo Of Overweight Woman
I congratulated congressional candidate Carl DeMaio on his facebook page for this hilarious joke, but some liberal operative hacked his page and removed my post and blocked me from ever posting anything on the page again. It’s a shame that Carl won’t be able to see it, but I just wanted to let him know how funny I thought his e-mail was. I told him I would have only thought that some of the old frat boys I know could have made a joke this funny. I told him the e-mail joke shows how far our society has come that an openly gay Republican (it still doesn’t feel quite right to type that) can make a mean spirited attack on an overweight woman’s appearance. It used to be just frat boy types who could do that. I never thought those gays like DeMaio would care about something like that. I told him that it taught me I should keep an open mind about his people. He has shown me that in many ways he is just like a lot of my buddies and me, except for that anal sex stuff. Please visit Carl DeMaio’s facebook page to let him know how much you appreciate his barrier breaking sense of humor.
KEVIN DUPRE, NATIONAL SMALL PENIS ASSOCIATION OFFICER OF THE YEAR!
Though it is only October, I have made an editorial decision for the NSPA to name Kevin Dupre from the Cleburne, Texas police department as our Officer of the Year. As you will see in this video, Officer Dupre risked life and limb to protect the good people of Cleburne from these vicious dogs who were playing in a drainage ditch. Please call the Cleburne police department at (817) 645-0972 to congratulate them on Officer Dupre’s award.
Video shows officer coaxing friendly pets closer with kissing noises before opening fire.
It’s a sad day for insecure, small penised white guys all across America. There’s nothing we brave Christian conservative white guys hate more than the culture of victimization, except when we are actually the real victims. http://www.mediaite.com/tv/michael-dunn-in-newly-released-jailhouse-phone-call-im-the-fcking-victim/
Michael Dunn sentenced to life in ‘loud music’ trial
‘NEW GIRL’, THE NEW FACE OF HATE
After watching the latest ‘New Girl’ episode ‘Micro’, I realized that I am a member of the one remaining marginalized group that smug, self satisfied Hollywood types feel free to ridicule and denigrate. While the ‘New Girl’ producers would never center an entire episode around racist jokes directed toward any number of minority groups, they felt no hesitation to make an endless stream of jokes about a man who has a small penis. It saddens me that we here at The National Small Penis Association still have so much work ahead of us to advocate for the rights and dignity of men who have small penises. However, I am now only more determined than ever to continue my work so that one day a little boy who is born with a small penis can grow up to be a man with a small penis and feel no shame about it. By that way, ‘New Girl’ will never be as funny as ‘That Girl’ because Marlo Thomas and Ted Bessell never needed to make cheap jokes about men who have small penises. – Lee Greenwood Hannity
I’M IN LOVE! I never thought I would find a woman who hates Muslims and loves guns as much as I do. It’s as if Lindsey Graham had been born with a vagina and was biblically able to accept the love of a man.
Well, if she hadn’t “jokingly slapped” him, there’s a good chance none of this would have happened. I don’t hear Nancy Pelosi calling for a ban on joking slapping. So the liberal fingers will accusingly point on cue at the emotionally insecure white guy who feels the need to carry a gun with him at a social gathering in a desperate attempt to overcome long harbored feelings of inadequacy. #sotypical
Our friend Mitch is under attack, and we must rally behind him! While checking Senator McConnell’s facebook page, I was shocked to see that some Godless liberal operative hacked the page to photoshop this picture to make it look like a wolverine is giving the Honorable Senator a hand job. Call Senator McConnell’s office at (202) 224-2541 to let him know we don’t believe for a second that he would ever get a hand job from a wolverine.
“The only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun.”, Wayne LaPierre. Apparently a gun is also effective at stopping an autistic boy’s therapy dog.
Home brewers may be annoying, but there is nothing cooler than guys who make their own guns at home.
I suppose the lamestream media would have been happier if he had left it loaded so a six year old child could find it and shoot another child by accident. This man was simply practicing simple gun safety.
The Sons of Confederate Veterans are preserving the legacy of small penised white guys who clutched on to their guns to fight our government. It’s a century and a half later, and we’re still carrying on the fight.
Forget the liberal lie that dog is man’s best friend. The gun is man’s best friend!
Newfield dog shot twice is in stable condition
This fight is just beginning. Again, middle aged white guys with guns are the only ones we can count on to keep dogs in their place.
Who let the God damn dogs out?! Once again, it’s up to a well armed, middle aged white guy to save the day.
I’m sure this all could have been avoided if Mr. Spirit had gone to the NRA’s www.nrafamilyinsights.org website and clicked on the ‘Family Fun & Adventure’ link.
Don Spirit kills six grandchildren, daughter and himself in Florida shooting, sheriff says
Before there was The National Small Penis Association, there were these guys. (Galveston Bay, Texas – 1981)
Guns don’t kill people. Drunken middle aged brothers trying to reenact a fancy gun twirling stunt from a largely forgotten 1993 western kill people.
‘Tombstone’ stunt goes horribly wrong at Florida woman’s birthday party
DON’T MESS WITH TEXAS, and don’t mess with insecure, emotionally immature white men who have small penises and are disappointed with the way their lives turned out and vent their mixture of self pity and crybaby rage by shooting whoever happens to be in their line of fire in Texas. If push comes to shove, this is how The National Small Penis Association rolls in Texas.
Sammuel Everett Toomey Charged In Corpus Christi Trailer Park Shooting
We need a well armed militia to protect ourselves from our government when they come to round us up for the FEMA camps and from dogs who get loose from their back yards. Stand your ground!
Off-Duty Tulsa cop shoots, kills neighborhood dog
Why should our government waste money on Head Start when the money could be more wisely spent on teaching toddlers to shoot automatic weapons?
Where Kids as Young as 5 Learn to Shoot Automatic Weapons
Guns don’t hurt people. Porcelain toilets hurt people.
Umm, I must respectfully decline the Asafo Gun Club’s invitation to meet them at their headquarters because I, umm, am getting ready to take my mother to go see the Oak Ridge Boys in concert in Branson, MO. Thanks for the invitation, though. – Lee Greenwood Hannity
Mitt, I know just how you feel. I would have done a better job of impregnating Scarlett Johansson than her fiancé. – Lee Greenwood Hannity
WASHINGTON (AP) — Former GOP presidential candidate Mitt Romney says there is no question in his mind that he would have been more effective in the White House than President Barack Obama. But he reiterates he has no plans to run again.
Duck Dynasty patriarch Phil Robertson was on Hannity to share his wisdom on how to handle the threat from ISIS. It’s just a shame he didn’t get to go to Vietnam to put this type of Git-R-Done attitude into practice. Instead, he got a deferment to avoid service after getting married in 1966. There is nothing more inspiring than hearing how he would handle himself if he faced life and death danger in the heat of war. Well, I guess it would be a little more inspiring if he had actually faced this type of danger when it had been his turn to serve, but it’s still pretty inspiring. Please click the link to see this brilliant interview.
Well, many Viet Cong soldiers may have dodged a lot of bullets because of his absence in the jungles, but a lot of ducks in Louisiana weren’t so lucky.
Okay, so even though the Shoot Straight gun range in Casselberry, FL featured in my last post was the site five years ago of a mother/son murder/suicide, it just goes to show that we need more guns, even at gun ranges, to prevent these types of incidents.
I don’t look at this as an accident. I look at it as a bonding experience. It’s just typical liberal media spin trying to scare people about guns.
TED NUGENT, HE MAY HAVE GONE TO GREAT LENGTHS TO AVOID SERVICE IN VIETNAM, BUT SOMEBODY HAD TO STAY HOME TO THIN OUT THE DEER POPULATION TO REDUCE THE NUMBER OF CARS DAMAGED BY HITTING DEER.
Happy 50th Wedding Anniversary to Mr. and Mrs. Dick Cheney!
Congratulations to Dick Cheney, one of our biggest heroes here at the National Small Penis Association, and his lovely wife, Lynne. Thank you Jesus for bringing this couple together in marriage and giving Dick a good excuse to get multiple deferments to avoid serving in Vietnam. If he had been sent to actually fight in a war that he supported, he might have been killed and never would have been able to liberate Iraq.
TYPICAL LIBERAL MEDIA DOUBLE STANDARD!
The liberal media went gaga reporting that a 13 year old girl threw a 70 mph fastball like it was the greatest thing in the world while it carried on like a crybaby ninny reporting that a 9 year old girl fired an Uzi like it was the worst thing in the world. What else would you expect from the liberal media?
A 9-Year-Old at a Shooting Range, a Spraying Uzi and Outrage
Just like Wayne LaPierre said, nothing delivers security and justice like a good guy with a gun.
Bond Set for White Cop Who Allegedly Shot Daughter’s Black Boyfriend
Kevin Sorbo is a big favorite with the members of the National Small Penis Association. Though his career as an action star may have ended many years ago, I think he has a future in comedy. There is nothing funnier than jokes about bombs in places of worship.
Come to think of it, maybe a few reasonable regulations on open carry wouldn’t be such a bad thing.
Dallas Huey P. Newton Gun Club Plans Open Carry-Type Rally « CBS Dallas / Fort Worth
MISSISSIPPIGUNNEWS.COM —- ONLY THE GREATEST WEBSITE EVER!
EAT IT, NINA SIMONE
THE FIRST ROUNDS ( .45 ACP and Keystone Light) WILL BE ON THE NSPA
Alcohol and gun shows go together like unregulated fertilizer plants and school buildings. Just two more reasons why Texas rules!!!!
Texas board considers allowing alcohol at gun shows
A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.
Taking a Bullet, Gaining a Cause: James S. Brady Dies at 73
WHEN WILL OUR VICTIMIZATION END?
I have called an immediate NSPA executive council meeting to stop this horrible persecution of Come and Take It Texas, our brothers in arms and small penises in Texas, who are bravely openly carrying their big guns in public only to be mocked and harassed by these heartless harlots. Governor Perry, I am praying to Jesus Christ right now that you will send the National Guard so you can protect them until we are able to deploy to Austin. We will keep you posted. Pray (just to Jesus Christ because those are the only prayers that get heard after all) for us, please.
WATCH: Topless Texans Spar With Open Carry Activists: ‘Boobs For Peace!’
OY VEY, BLOOMBERG, WE’RE ON TO YOU!
NRA Lobbyist Belittles Any Jew Who Backs Gun Control Because The Holocaust
GUNS DON’T KILL PEOPLE…emotionally unstable teenagers who grow up to be lawyers who devote their lives to providing unfettered access to semi automatic assault rifles kill people. So can we finally stop trying to ban guns with needless legislation? Thank you.
Look, if we’re going to have a well armed militia to protect us from our government, we’re going to need to crack a few eggs to make an omelet.
William DeHayes – NSPA Charter Member
CRUISING WITH SENATOR GRAHAM!!!
We here at the NSPA swell with pride all over different parts of our bodies when we spend time by ourselves and look at these pictures of conservative Christian Senator Lindsey Graham out cruising to look for any muscular young men in military uniforms who have been sent out with marching orders by our dictator Obama to confiscate our guns and then to force us on our knees in a dark alley so they can commit acts of depravity on our quivering, sweaty bodies over and over and over and over again. Senator Graham, thank you. It is so comforting to know we have you covering our backs.
IT’S NOT OUR FAULT WE DON’T HAVE ANY BLACK GUYS IN THE NSPA
Look, I’m getting sick and tired of all the haters out there who keep pointing out that there aren’t any black guys in the National Small Penis Association. I will not compromise the integrity of the NSPA by lowering our membership eligibility standards just so I can say we have a couple of black guys as members. You won’t find any political correctness or affirmative action here. I don’t care if you’re white, black, yellow, green or blue. You just need to be able to measure up if you want to be a member. It just so happens that it’s only the white guys who measure up. I guess the haters would like me to invent some sort of radiation ray weapon that shrinks black guys’ penises. Well, haters, sorry to disappoint you, but it’s not going to happen. I’ve got more important things to do, like making sure the government doesn’t storm into our homes and confiscate our guns.
I’M BACK ONLINE, IT WAS ALL A MISUNDERSTANDING
I am happy to report my year and a half detention in Thailand is over, and I am back in the United States to fight for my small penised brothers to keep their rights to strap really big and powerful guns to their waists . No matter what you hear (there are a lot of haters out there, after all), the detention was simply a misunderstanding over my visa paperwork.
All that matters is that I’m back in the thick of the battle just in time. I see ex(thankfully)-Mayor Bloomberg is still trying to take away our rights while he isn’t busy trying to manipulate the world’s money supply. I also see Harvey Weinstein (I think I’m seeing a pattern here, I’m just saying) is crowing that he will be making an anti gun movie starring Meryl Streep to take down the NRA.
Well, Harvey, I have news for you. I made good use of my year and a half in a cramped Bangkok jail by writing the screenplay for ‘The Man With A Small Penis’, an inspirational tale about a man with a small penis and a Colt LE901-901.308 Carbine. I don’t want to give away the plot just yet, but I describe it as ‘The King’s Speech’ meets ‘Red Dawn.’ Though it’s not official, I hope to have Victoria Jackson attached to the project soon. See you at the Oscar’s, Harvey and Meryl. IT’S ON!!!!
FEBRUARY IS SMALL PENIS AWARENESS MONTH
Well, we couldn’t take our country back in November, but we can take our month of February back. We here at the NSPA are tired of black people getting all of the attention in February so we are proud to announce February is Small Penis Awareness Month. Granted, none of us here at the compound would have ever invented peanut butter if we were sitting in a laboratory filled with buckets of peanuts, but we are damn well sure it was a white guy who invented jelly. Throughout the month, we will highlight the contributions small penised white guys have made to American history and culture, like the Confederate Army, the NRA, and the Blue Collar Comedy Tour.
We will use the month to grow the Small Penis pride movement to fight our fascist government’s plot to take our guns (and our manhood) away.
There is absolutely no truth to the local media reports that Lee Greenwood Hannity, President of the National Small Penis Association, was arrested for public indecency at the Regal dollar theater in Canton last week. Mr. Hannity swears on the holy Bible that he was not masturbating in his seat during a screening of ‘Red Dawn’, which the NSPA has declared as the best film of 2012, by the way. Mr. Hannity simply spilled some popcorn on his lap and was wiping the popcorn away. Mr. Hannity will have no further comments on this vast conspiracy because he will be focused on battling the Obama administration’s upcoming assault on our gun rights. Please check back regularly for our dispatches from the front lines.