News

11/22/2014

Let’s not jump to conclusions.  Nicholas Tuinstra looks like a perfectly stable white guy so I’m sure there may have been a reason he shot and killed his estranged wife and her boyfriend.   He may have simply stopped by the house to get his beer can collection and his Ted Nugent cds when he slipped on a patch of snow on the sidewalk, causing his gun to fall out of his coat pocket (Wisconsin has concealed carry – thank you, Scott Walker).  The gun probably hit the sidewalk and accidentally discharged.  It’s not like he’s an emotionally immature, unstable cry baby white guy who can’t handle the typical disappointments that life offers everybody. 

nicholas

Weapon sought in Berlin double killing, described as domestic violence

http://www.jsonline.com/news/crime/weapon-motive-sought-in-berlin-double-homicide-b99362814z1-277752141.html

 

11/21/2014

TREVOR LEE WHITE, ARMED WITH JUST A GUN AND HIS MIGHTY MITE, TRIED TO KEEP THE CITIZENS OF SNOW CAMP, NORTH CAROLINA SAFE FROM THE CHANCE OF A FAMILY DOG’S BITE.  THE COWARDLY POLICE CAVED TO THE LIBERALS AND THE TRITE AND ARRESTED THIS BRAVE PATRIOT TUESDAY NIGHT, BUT THE NATIONAL SMALL PENIS ASSOCIATION HAS JUST BEGUN THE FIGHT!

Dr. Seuss (actually this is how we think Dr. Seuss would have written this if he had been born with a very small penis)

trevorlee

Man charged with animal cruelty after dog shot, killed

Man reportedly bragged about killing dog in Facebook video

Read more: http://www.wxii12.com/news/Man-charged-with-animal-cruelty-after-dog-shot-killed/29837042#ixzz3JjOB8rne

 

11/20/2014

Another good guy with a gun uses his God given 2nd Amendment rights to put down a vicious beast.  Hopefully the government sanctioned police force will not apprehend the brave small penised Patriot who committed this act of bravery.

pitbull

Readers react after Holland Township dog shot, body dumped in ravine

http://www.nj.com/hunterdon-county-democrat/index.ssf/2014/11/readers_react_after_holland_to.html

 

11/19/2014

PHILIP SAILORS – NSPA SENIOR CIRCUIT

sailors

Philip Sailors shot and killed Rodrigo Diaz after Mr. Diaz mistakenly pulled into his driveway while trying to find a friend’s home to take him roller skating.  When Mr. Sailors saw a brown skinned man in his driveway, he had no choice but to stand his ground with a gun and hollow tipped bullets.   When Mr. Diaz started to back his car out of the driveway, Mr. Sailors had no choice but to continue standing his ground even as the unarmed young man was trying to drive away.   Thankfully Mr. Sailors only received a sentence of one year of probation and a  $500 fine.  With Dictator Obama preparing to let 5 million illegal brown skinned people stay in this country, we need all of the small penised Patriots we can get to guard our driveways.

http://www.wsbtv.com/news/news/local/gwinnett-co-man-pleads-guilty-driveway-shooting/nh8r5/

 

11/18/2014

fallis

Thomas E. Fallis, a good white guy with a gun who happened to accidentally shoot his wife in the head while doing nothing more than trying to get her to stop smoking, is facing jail time if we fail to act in his defense.  While the courts are focusing on her death, they are ignoring the fact that he did get her to stop smoking, thereby rescuing her from a long, painful, eventual death from lung cancer.  The National Small Penis Association has just established The Small Penis Legal Defense Fund to help defend innocent white guys like Mr. Fallis who have been arrested for exercising their 2nd Amendment Rights.

Former deputy arrested in wife’s 2012 Weld County shooting death

http://www.denverpost.com/news/ci_26960381/man-suspected-wifes-2012-weld-county-shooting-death

 

11/17/2014

Oklahoma Republican Governor Mary Fallin – NSPA Woman of the Year for 2014!

Though she may not have a penis, we are sure Republican Governor Mary Fallin would have a very small one if women could have penises because she is a National Small Penis Association member at heart.  When she is not busy doing the Lord’s work in fighting against raising the minimum wage in Oklahoma, Governor Fallin is straining to exude contrived macho swagger in displaying her love for guns.  In other words, she’s our kind of girl!

fallin

Click the link below to watch Governor Fallin drive a tank to crush a car and shoot a M134 Gatling gun at the grand opening of a shooting range that serves alcohol.  Shooting ranges and alcohol go together just like Governor Fallin and men who have small penises.

Wilshire Gun becomes first range in state to sell alcohol

Gov. Mary Fallin kicks off grand opening by driving tank

http://www.koco.com/news/wilshire-gun-becomes-first-range-in-state-to-sell-alcohol/29731156#ixzz3JOIvEYVU

 

 

11/16/2014

Once again, an armed Patriot uses his gun to protect himself from a vicious beast. If New Hampshire didn’t have open carry, the Patriot would have been covered in slobber.

tydon

Family Dog Shot And Killed In Auburn, NH « CBS Boston.

 

11/14/2014

ROBERT J. KINNISON – THE FUTURE OF THE NSPA!

Rob-Kinnison

The National Small Penis Association is proud to award Robert J. Kinnison our Rising Star award for 2014 for his stalwart work to counteract the shrill voices of those nagging harpies over at Moms Demand Action. Robert is a proud proponent of White Pride, and we are so proud to count him as one of us here at the NSPA.  Robert embodies that special magic that occurs when white guys with small penises are paired with powerful guns.   Robert, we expect big things from you in 2015, and we’ll be watching you all the way.

http://bluenationreview.com/meet-post-racial-face-hate-america/

 

11/11/2014

Donald J. Trump
9 hours ago
Happy #VeteransDay to all. And it is nice to have Sgt. Andrew Tahmooressi back home.

I only wish I could wish Donald Trump a happy Veterans Day, but I can’t because he never served. Those liars at The Daily News say he finagled a medical deferment, which doesn’t match with his claims that he didn’t serve in Vietnam because he had a high draft number. Well, what do you expect from the lamestream media?

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/politics/donald-trump-dodged-vietnam-war-medical-deferment-high-draft-number-claimed-article-1.109078

 

11/10/2014

Here’s a picture from the National Small Penis Association/Open Carry Texas party we had in Galveston over the weekend.  Clyde demonstrates his effective gun placement technique to add that special sense of adequacy only a gun can provide.

oct

 

 

11/9/2014

Please visit the KSTP-TV5 facebook page so you can click the like button to support all of the good work they are doing.  I just visited their page and posted the following message:

Dear KSTP-TV5 Minneapolis ABC affiliate, thank you for your Emmy worthy news coverage of mayor Betsy Hodges’ scandalous decision to take a picture with a young black man and flash what were obviously gang signs. While the liberal whiners in your audience (Minneapolis after all gave us Hubert Humphrey so there are plenty of these types in the city) complained that this was shoddy, racist, agenda driven, poorly researched hack work that can’t even be categorized as journalism, I disagree. Your news department only wants to keep us safe. I’m doing my part by passing along a picture I found of Mary Richards, an employee of a rival Minneapolis TV station’s news department, flashing obvious gang signs to her coworker, Sue Ann Nivens. Please have your great reporter Jay Kolls look into this and help keep Minneapolis safe.

pointergateMoore & White In 'The Mary Tyler Moore Show"

 

11/8/2014

Woodville officer Steve Gilkerson saves the day by using his gun to disable a curious chocolate Labrador retriever. White guys with guns to the rescue once again.

Residents react with shock over shooting of dog

Mayor, police chief support officer

Read more at http://www.toledoblade.com/Police-Fire/2014/11/06/Residents-react-with-shock-over-shooting-of-dog.html#ogUzMyHfuhA22wV3.99

gilkerson

11/6/2014

THROWBACK THURSDAYS!

WHITEkids

Wilcox County, Georgia 1950s

Despite what all of the pundits said about Georgia being in play for the Democrats, the small penised white guy vote came out and kept Georgia RED!  

11/5/2014

EVEN BETTER NEWS THAN ALL OF THE REPUBLICAN VICTORIES LAST NIGHT!

The Bullet That Could Make 3-D Printed Guns Practical Deadly Weapons

3dbullet

http://www.wired.com/2014/11/atlas-314-3-d-printed-guns-bullets/

 

10/29/2014

DON SURBER RECEIVES THE NATIONAL SMALL PENIS ASSOCIATION’S EXCELLENCE IN JOURNALISM AWARD FOR 2014!

The NSPA has awarded Charleston Daily Mail editorial columnist our Excellence in Journalism Award for providing an eloquent voice on behalf of emotionally insecure, stridently obnoxious small penised white guys who are regularly victimized and ignored by the lamestream liberal media. Don provided a fine sample of his writing style on his personal blog in which he referred to Michael Brown as an animal who had to be put down by Officer Darren Wilson. Don Surber’s keen intellect and insight serve as a benchmark for all aspiring journalists in America.

http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/don-surber-michael-brown-animal-put-down-charleston-daily-mail-apologizes

surber

Please contact Don to congratulate him on his award.  donsurber@dailymailwv.com

 

10/28/2014

White guys with guns – a winning combination!

whiteguy

Police probe fatal Putnam shooting
http://www.charlestondailymail.com/article/20141028/DM02/141029160/1277

 

10/25/2014

“Passing along a family tradition of hunting and shooting is not something that we should have to ask our leaders for permission to do,” Indiana Governor Mike Pence (R) said at the NRA national convention in Indianapolis, Indiana this past April.     Mike, I couldn’t have said it better myself.

Baby dies after gun accident in Kokomo, Indiana

poorbaby

http://www.wthr.com/story/26869560/2014/10/22/9-month-old-shot-in-head-in-gun-accident-in-kokomo#.VE26m8CeviU.facebook

 

10/21/2014

Drunken trombone-playing clown fires gun from garage, police say

By John Tunison | jtunison@mlive.com The Grand Rapids Press
Follow on Twitter
on October 21, 2014 at 2:22 PM, updated October 21, 2014 at 2:54 PM

GRAND TRAVERSE COUNTY, MI — Police arrested a 54-year-old man after he was allegedly seen wearing camouflage pants and a clown mask, shooting a gun at a can in the street.  Grand Traverse County sheriff’s deputies said the man also was seen playing a trombone at one point, all the while as he stood in a garage.  The man, described as intoxicated, was arrested for a personal protection order violation. No one was hurt and the gun turned out to be a pellet gun.

Deputies responded at about 10:30 a.m. Monday, Oct. 20 to a Blair Township residence on a report of a man, standing in a garage, pointing a firearm at surrounding houses.  A caller to 911 said the man also was shooting at a can in the road. The caller told dispatchers the man was “wearing camo pants and a clown mask and at one point was playing a trombone.”  Deputies arrived at the scene, determined the man was drunk, and arrested the man on the personal protection order violation.   No one was injured.

clown

Sure, take away his gun, and all he’ll be able to protect himself with is a clown horn. This life in Obama’s America, and this is why we must support the NRA.

 

10/20/2014

GOPer DeMaio Mocked Dem Staffer With Photo Of Overweight Woman

http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/email-carl-demaio-peters-staffer-photo

I  congratulated congressional candidate Carl DeMaio on his facebook page for this hilarious joke, but some liberal operative hacked his page and removed my post and blocked me from ever posting anything on the page again. It’s a shame that Carl won’t be able to see it, but I just wanted to let him know how funny I thought his e-mail was. I told him I would have only thought that some of the old frat boys I know could have made a joke this funny. I told him the e-mail joke shows how far our society has come that an openly gay Republican (it still doesn’t feel quite right to type that) can make a mean spirited attack on an overweight woman’s appearance. It used to be just frat boy types who could do that. I never thought those gays like DeMaio would care about something like that. I told him that it taught me I should keep an open mind about his people.  He has shown me that in many ways he is just like a lot of my buddies and me, except for that anal sex stuff. Please visit Carl DeMaio’s facebook page to let him know how much you appreciate his barrier breaking sense of humor.

demaiocarld

 

10/19/2014

KEVIN DUPRE, NATIONAL SMALL PENIS ASSOCIATION OFFICER OF THE YEAR!
Though it is only October, I have made an editorial decision for the NSPA to name Kevin Dupre from the Cleburne, Texas police department as our Officer of the Year. As you will see in this video, Officer Dupre risked life and limb to protect the good people of Cleburne from these vicious dogs who were playing in a drainage ditch. Please call the Cleburne police department at (817) 645-0972 to congratulate them on Officer Dupre’s award.

DUPREcleburn-texas-maximus

Video shows officer coaxing friendly pets closer with kissing noises before opening fire.

http://www.policestateusa.com/2014/cleburne-texas-dog-shooting/

 

10/17/2014

It’s a sad day for insecure, small penised white guys all across America.  There’s nothing we brave Christian conservative white guys hate more than the culture of victimization, except when we are actually the real victims. http://www.mediaite.com/tv/michael-dunn-in-newly-released-jailhouse-phone-call-im-the-fcking-victim/

dunn

Michael Dunn sentenced to life in ‘loud music’ trial

The 47-year-old white software engineer was sentenced to life in prison, almost two years after he fatally shot unarmed black teen Jordan Davis

http://www.msnbc.com/msnbc/michael-dunn-sentenced-life-loud-music-trial

 

10/13/2014

‘NEW GIRL’, THE NEW FACE OF HATE

newgirlbirmingham

After watching the latest ‘New Girl’ episode ‘Micro’, I realized that I am a member of the one remaining marginalized group that smug, self satisfied Hollywood types feel free to ridicule and denigrate. While the ‘New Girl’ producers would never center an entire episode around racist jokes directed toward any number of minority groups, they felt no hesitation to make an endless stream of jokes about a man who has a small penis. It saddens me that we here at The National Small Penis Association still have so much work ahead of us to advocate for the rights and dignity of men who have small penises. However, I am now only more determined than ever to continue my work so that one day a little boy who is born with a small penis can grow up to be a man with a small penis and feel no shame about it. By that way, ‘New Girl’ will never be as funny as ‘That Girl’ because Marlo Thomas and Ted Bessell never needed to make cheap jokes about men who have small penises.  - Lee Greenwood Hannity

 

10/10/2014

I’M IN LOVE! I never thought I would find a woman who hates Muslims and loves guns as much as I do. It’s as if Lindsey Graham had been born with a vagina and was biblically able to accept the love of a man.

janmorgan

http://janmorganmedia.com/2014/09/business-muslim-free-zone/#Tb1lIQASlPUGXcRt.01

 

10/7/2014

Well, if she hadn’t “jokingly slapped” him, there’s a good chance none of this would have happened. I don’t hear Nancy Pelosi calling for a ban on joking slapping. So the liberal fingers will accusingly point on cue at the emotionally insecure white guy who feels the need to carry a gun with him at a social gathering in a desperate attempt to overcome long harbored feelings of inadequacy. ‪#‎sotypicalcbs47

http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/florida-shooting-thought-gun-was-not-loaded

 

10/6/2014

mitch

Our friend Mitch is under attack, and we must rally behind him!  While checking Senator McConnell’s facebook page, I was shocked to see that some Godless liberal operative hacked the page to photoshop this picture to make it look like a wolverine is giving the Honorable Senator a hand job.  Call Senator McConnell’s office at (202) 224-2541 to let him know we don’t believe for a second that he would ever get a hand job from a wolverine.

 

10/5/2014

“The only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun.”, Wayne LaPierre. Apparently a gun is also effective at stopping an autistic boy’s therapy dog.

http://www.king5.com/story/news/local/2014/10/03/autistic-therapy-dog-shot-killed/16661159/

 

10/4/2014

Home brewers may be annoying, but there is nothing cooler than guys who make their own guns at home.

homebrewerghostgunner

http://www.wired.com/2014/10/1200-machine-making-untraceable-guns-just-sold-36-hours/

 

9/28/2014

I suppose the lamestream media would have been happier if he had left it loaded so a six year old child could find it and shoot another child by accident. This man was simply practicing simple gun safety.

goodneighbor

http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/pennsylvania-man-shot-neigher-home-unload-gun

 

9/25/2014

THROWBACK THURSDAY

The Sons of Confederate Veterans are preserving the legacy of small penised white guys who clutched on to their guns to fight our government. It’s a century and a half later, and we’re still carrying on the fight.

sonsofconfederacy

 

9/24/2014

Forget the liberal lie that dog is man’s best friend.  The gun is man’s best friend!

Newfield dog shot twice is in stable condition

germanshepherd

http://www.stargazette.com/story/news/public-safety/2014/09/23/shot-german-shepherd-recovering/16105671/

 

9/23/2014

This fight is just beginning. Again, middle aged white guys with guns are the only ones we can count on to keep dogs in their place.

crowe

http://www.wlky.com/news/clarksville-firefighter-accused-of-shooting-mans-dog/28193350?absolute=true

 

9/22/2014

Who let the God damn dogs out?! Once again, it’s up to a well armed, middle aged white guy to save the day.

clifford

http://www.denverpost.com/news/ci_26583773/family-dog-jumps-fence-commerce-city-shot-by

 

 

9/21/2014

Okay, the police may have found 9 guns in David William Latham’s home after they arrested him for killing a neighbor’s potentially vicious corgi in a drunken stupor after mistakenly believing the dog was the source of the barking that had begun to annoy him, but you’ll be sorry if he isn’t around to help defend you when the U.N. Agenda 21 police come to round you up and confiscate your guns.
lathamcorgi

 

9/19/2014

I’m sure this all could have been avoided if Mr. Spirit had gone to the NRA’s www.nrafamilyinsights.org website and clicked on the ‘Family Fun & Adventure’ link.

Don Spirit kills six grandchildren, daughter and himself in Florida shooting, sheriff says

donspirit

http://www.newsday.com/news/nation/don-spirit-kills-six-grandchildren-daughter-and-himself-in-florida-shooting-sheriff-says-1.9350364

 

9/18/2014

THROWBACK THURSDAY

Before there was The National Small Penis Association, there were these guys. (Galveston Bay, Texas – 1981)

vietfishermenkkk500

 

9/16/2014

Guns don’t kill people.  Drunken middle aged brothers trying to reenact a fancy gun twirling stunt from a largely forgotten 1993 western kill people.

‘Tombstone’ stunt goes horribly wrong at Florida woman’s birthday party 

tombstone-film

http://nydn.us/1sihWAM

 

 

9/15/2014

DON’T MESS WITH TEXAS, and don’t mess with insecure, emotionally immature white men who have small penises and are disappointed with the way their lives turned out and vent their mixture of self pity and crybaby rage by shooting whoever happens to be in their line of fire in Texas.  If push comes to shove, this is how The National Small Penis Association rolls in Texas.

Sammuel Everett Toomey Charged In Corpus Christi Trailer Park Shooting

sammuel

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/09/15/3-dead-in-corpus-christi-_0_n_5825754.html9/15/2014

 

9/14/2014

We need a well armed militia to protect ourselves from our government when they come to round us up for the FEMA camps and from dogs who get loose from their back yards. Stand your ground!

Off-Duty Tulsa cop shoots, kills neighborhood dog

tulsa

http://www.kjrh.com/news/local-news/off-duty-tulsa-cop-shoots-kills-neighborhood-dog

 

9/13/2014

Why should our government waste money on Head Start when the money could be more wisely spent on teaching toddlers to shoot automatic weapons?

kidguns

Where Kids as Young as 5 Learn to Shoot Automatic Weapons

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2014/09/10/where-kids-as-young-as-5-learn-to-shoot-automatic-weapons.html

 

9/12/2014

Guns don’t hurt people.  Porcelain toilets hurt people.

Teacher hurt when gun accidently shatters toilet
utah
September 11 at 7:46 PM
SALT LAKE CITY — A Utah elementary school teacher who was carrying a concealed firearm at school was struck by fragments from a bullet and a porcelain toilet when her gun accidently fired in a faculty bathroom on Thursday, officials said.The sixth-grade teacher at Westbrook Elementary School, in the Salt Lake City suburb of Taylorsville, was injured when the bullet struck a toilet and caused it to explode, Granite School District spokesman Ben Horsley said.Authorities initially thought the teacher had accidently shot herself. They now believe she was injured when the bullet and toilet fragments struck her lower leg.   The teacher, identified as Michelle Ferguson-Montgomery, was in good condition Thursday afternoon in a Salt Lake City hospital, Horsley said.  No listed phone number for Ferguson-Montgomery was available.No other faculty or students witnessed the shooting, but they might have heard the gunshot or seen the teacher as she was helped out of the school to a waiting ambulance, he said.  Classes continued as usual Thursday, and crisis counselors were available, Horsley said.  Officials were still investigating how the gun discharged. “This just appears at this point in time to be an accident,” he said.Horsley said Ferguson-Montgomery has been a teacher with the school for 14 years but he did not have her age. She was carrying her gun legally with a concealed-firearm permit, Horsley said.  Utah is among the few states that allow people with concealed-weapons permits to carry guns in public schools, according to the National Conference of State Legislatures.

 

9/11/2014
THROWBACK THURSDAY!
The National Small Penis Association old school! (1967)

throwback

 

9/8/2014

Umm, I must respectfully decline the Asafo Gun Club’s invitation to meet them at their headquarters because I, umm, am getting ready to take my mother to go see the Oak Ridge Boys in concert in Branson, MO. Thanks for the invitation, though. – Lee Greenwood Hannity

afamo

 

 

9/7/2014

Mitt, I know just how you feel.  I would have done a better job of impregnating Scarlett Johansson than her fiancé. – Lee Greenwood Hannity

Romney: I Would Have Done A Better Job Than Obama

WASHINGTON (AP) — Former GOP presidential candidate Mitt Romney says there is no question in his mind that he would have been more effective in the White House than President Barack Obama. But he reiterates he has no plans to run again.

romney

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qaMOLWLT04A&feature=player_embedded

9/5/2014

 

Kevin Sorbo Official Facebook Page

I do remember this one, though.
Photo: I do remember this one, though.
Once again, Kevin Sorbo shows why he is such a favorite with The National Small Penis Association.  Since I’m a good Christian conservative, I’m going to cut straight to the heart of this matter. Michelle Obama – Black/Ann Romney – White. I applaud Kevin for the stands he takes even if it hurts his chances of ever getting a decent acting job again because of all of the liberal America haters who run Hollywood who are determined to sabotage his career. Heck, Kevin can’t even get a cameo in one of the Expendable movies. That has nothing to do with his acting ability or lack of audience interest in seeing him. No, it’s because he tells the TRUTH, and there are a lot of people out there who can’t handle the truth!
 

9/3/2014

Duck Dynasty patriarch Phil Robertson was on Hannity to share his wisdom on how to handle the threat from ISIS. It’s just a shame he didn’t get to go to Vietnam to put this type of Git-R-Done attitude into practice. Instead, he got a deferment to avoid service after getting married in 1966.  There is nothing more inspiring than hearing how he would handle himself if he faced life and death danger in the heat of war.  Well, I guess it would be a little more inspiring if he had actually faced this type of danger when it had been his turn to serve, but it’s still pretty inspiring. Please click the link to see this brilliant interview.

http://www.breitbart.com/Breitbart-TV/2014/09/02/Phil-Robertson-on-ISIS-Convert-Them-or-Kill-Them

duckhunt          vietcong

Well, many Viet Cong soldiers may have dodged a lot of bullets because of his absence in the jungles, but a lot of ducks in Louisiana weren’t so lucky. 

 

9/2/2014

Okay, so even though the Shoot Straight gun range in Casselberry, FL featured in my last post was the site five years ago of a mother/son murder/suicide, it just goes to show that we need more guns, even at gun ranges, to prevent these types of incidents.

momshootstraight

http://www.nbcnews.com/id/30109090/ns/us_news-crime_and_courts/t/mom-kills-son-then-self-shooting-range/#.VAZ7omx0zIU

 

9/1/2014

I don’t look at this as an accident. I look at it as a bonding experience. It’s just typical liberal media spin trying to scare people about guns.

shootstraight

http://www.wesh.com/news/two-men-injured-in-casselberry-gun-range-accident/27815696#!bOfSkT

8/31/2014

TED NUGENT, HE MAY HAVE GONE TO GREAT LENGTHS TO AVOID SERVICE IN VIETNAM, BUT SOMEBODY HAD TO STAY HOME TO THIN OUT THE DEER POPULATION TO REDUCE THE NUMBER OF CARS DAMAGED BY HITTING DEER.

Ted, I thank Jesus you went to such extensive lengths back in the day to avoid service in Vietnam so you could stay alive to fight for gun rights and accept praise from those men and women who actually went into battle to serve their country. Better to have you face an unarmed deer in the woods than to face an armed and highly motivated Viet Cong soldier in the tunnels of Cu Chi. There were plenty of others who went in your place and sacrificed their lives, but they probably never could have stayed home out of harm’s way and written a song like ‘Cat Scratch Fever’, only the greatest rock song ever. Those who went in your place and actually served may be in their graves, but you are still ROCKING! It fills my Christian heart with joy to know that some U.S. Military men and women praise you and don’t hold it against you that you consciously avoided service back when it was your turn.

 

8/30/2014

Happy 50th Wedding Anniversary to Mr. and Mrs. Dick Cheney!

Congratulations to Dick Cheney, one of our biggest heroes here at the National Small Penis Association, and his lovely wife, Lynne.  Thank you Jesus for bringing this couple together in marriage and giving Dick a good excuse to get multiple deferments to avoid serving in Vietnam. If he had been sent to actually fight in a war that he supported, he might have been killed and never would have been able to liberate Iraq.

cheneyanniversary

 

 

8/28/2014

TYPICAL LIBERAL MEDIA DOUBLE STANDARD!

The liberal media went gaga reporting that a 13 year old girl threw a 70 mph fastball like it was the greatest thing in the world while it carried on like a crybaby ninny reporting that a 9 year old girl fired an Uzi like it was the worst thing in the world. What else would you expect from the liberal media?

mo'neuzi1

 

8/27/2014

GIRL POWER!

A 9-Year-Old at a Shooting Range, a Spraying Uzi and Outrage

http://nyti.ms/1AUDr1f

uzi1

 

8/24/2014

Just like Wayne LaPierre said, nothing delivers security and justice like a good guy with a gun.

http://talkingpointsmemo.com/edblog/bond-set-for-white-cop-who-allegedly-shot-down-daughters-black-boyfriend

Bond Set for White Cop Who Allegedly Shot Daughter’s Black Boyfriend

kepler

 

8/23/2014

Kevin Sorbo is a big favorite with the members of the National Small Penis Association.  Though his career as an action star may have ended many years ago, I think he has a future in comedy.  There is nothing funnier than jokes about bombs in places of worship.

sorbo fourgirls

 

 

8/20/2014

Come to think of it, maybe a few reasonable regulations on open carry wouldn’t be such a bad thing.

Dallas Huey P. Newton Gun Club Plans Open Carry-Type Rally « CBS Dallas / Fort Worth

http://dfw.cbslocal.com/2014/08/19/huey-p-newton-gun-club-gun-club-plans-open-carry-rally-by/

newton newton2

8/14/2014

MISSISSIPPIGUNNEWS.COM —- ONLY THE GREATEST WEBSITE EVER!

http://www.mississippigunnews.com/can-binge-drinking-wild-partying-college-students-be-trusted-with-a-gun/

EAT IT, NINA SIMONE

 

8/11/2014

THE FIRST ROUNDS ( .45 ACP and Keystone Light) WILL BE ON THE NSPA

Alcohol and gun shows go together like unregulated fertilizer plants and school buildings. Just two more reasons why Texas rules!!!!

Texas board considers allowing alcohol at gun shows

http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/govbeat/wp/2014/08/11/texas-board-considers-allowing-alcohol-at-gun-shows/

gunshow

8/4/2014

A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.

johnhinkley

Taking a Bullet, Gaining a Cause: James S. Brady Dies at 73

http://www.nytimes.com/2014/08/05/us/politics/james-s-brady-symbol-of-fight-for-gun-control-dies-at-73.html

 

8/3/2014

WHEN WILL OUR VICTIMIZATION END?

I have called an immediate NSPA executive council meeting to stop this horrible persecution of Come and Take It Texas, our brothers in arms and small penises in Texas, who are bravely openly carrying their big guns in public only to be mocked and harassed by these heartless harlots.  Governor Perry, I am praying to Jesus Christ right now that you will send the National Guard so you can protect them until we are able to deploy to Austin.  We will keep you posted.  Pray (just to Jesus Christ because those are the only prayers that get heard after all) for us, please.

WATCH: Topless Texans Spar With Open Carry Activists: ‘Boobs For Peace!’

http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/video-open-carry-protesters-vs-topless-women

 

7/30/2014

OY VEY, BLOOMBERG, WE’RE ON TO YOU!

NRA Lobbyist Belittles Any Jew Who Backs Gun Control Because The Holocaust

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/07/29/nra-holocaust_n_5628484.html

 

7/29/2014

GUNS DON’T KILL PEOPLE…emotionally unstable teenagers who grow up to be lawyers who devote their lives to providing unfettered access to semi automatic assault rifles kill people.  So can we finally stop trying to ban guns with needless legislation?  Thank you.

http://www.motherjones.com/politics/2014/07/robert-dowlut-nra-murder-mystery

 

7/28/2014

HEY,SHIT HAPPENS

Look, if we’re going to have a well armed militia to protect us from our government, we’re going to need to crack a few eggs to make an omelet.

Pregnant woman dies after accidental shooting – FOX 35 News Orlando.

dehayes

William DeHayes – NSPA Charter Member

 

7/23/2014

CRUISING WITH SENATOR GRAHAM!!!

lindseycarlindseycar2
We here at the NSPA swell with pride all over different parts of our bodies when we spend time by ourselves and look at these pictures of conservative Christian Senator Lindsey Graham out cruising to look for any muscular young men in military uniforms who have been sent out with marching orders by our dictator Obama to confiscate our guns and then to force us on our knees in a dark alley so they can commit acts of depravity on our quivering, sweaty bodies over and over and over and over again. Senator Graham, thank you. It is so comforting to know we have you covering our backs.

7/22/2014

IT’S NOT OUR FAULT WE DON’T HAVE ANY BLACK GUYS IN THE NSPA

Look, I’m getting sick and tired of all the haters out there who keep pointing out that there aren’t any black guys in the National Small Penis Association. I will not compromise the integrity of the NSPA by lowering our membership eligibility standards just so I can say we have a couple of black guys as members. You won’t find any political correctness or affirmative action here. I don’t care if you’re white, black, yellow, green or blue. You just need to be able to measure up if you want to be a member. It just so happens that it’s only the white guys who measure up. I guess the haters would like me to invent some sort of radiation ray weapon that shrinks black guys’ penises. Well, haters, sorry to disappoint you, but it’s not going to happen. I’ve got more important things to do, like making sure the government doesn’t storm into our homes and confiscate our guns.

7/20/14

I’M BACK ONLINE, IT WAS ALL A MISUNDERSTANDING

I am happy to report my year and a half detention in Thailand is over, and I am back in the United States to fight for my small penised brothers to keep their rights to strap really big and powerful guns to their waists . No matter what you hear (there are a lot of haters out there, after all), the detention was simply a misunderstanding over my visa paperwork.

All that matters is that I’m back in the thick of the battle just in time. I see ex(thankfully)-Mayor Bloomberg is still trying to take away our rights while he isn’t busy trying to manipulate the world’s money supply. I also see Harvey Weinstein (I think I’m seeing a pattern here, I’m just saying) is crowing that he will be making an anti gun movie starring Meryl Streep to take down the NRA.

Well, Harvey, I have news for you. I made good use of my year and a half in a cramped Bangkok jail by writing the screenplay for ‘The Man With A Small Penis’, an inspirational tale about a man with a small penis and a Colt LE901-901.308 Carbine. I don’t want to give away the plot just yet, but I describe it as ‘The King’s Speech’ meets ‘Red Dawn.’ Though it’s not official, I hope to have Victoria Jackson attached to the project soon. See you at the Oscar’s, Harvey and Meryl. IT’S ON!!!!

2/1/13

FEBRUARY IS SMALL PENIS AWARENESS MONTH

Well, we couldn’t take our country back in November, but we can take our month of February back. We here at the NSPA are tired of black people getting all of the attention in February so we are proud to announce February is Small Penis Awareness Month. Granted, none of us here at the compound would have ever invented peanut butter if we were sitting in a laboratory filled with buckets of peanuts, but we are damn well sure it was a white guy who invented jelly. Throughout the month, we will highlight the contributions small penised white guys have made to American history and culture, like the Confederate Army, the NRA, and the Blue Collar Comedy Tour.

We will use the month to grow the Small Penis pride movement to fight our fascist government’s plot to take our guns (and our manhood) away.

12/30/12

There is absolutely no truth to the local media reports that Lee Greenwood Hannity, President of the National Small Penis Association,  was arrested for public indecency at the Regal dollar theater in Canton last week.  Mr. Hannity swears on the holy Bible that he was not masturbating in his seat during a screening of ‘Red Dawn’, which the NSPA has declared as the best film of 2012, by the way. Mr. Hannity simply spilled some popcorn on his lap and was wiping the popcorn away.   Mr. Hannity will have no further comments on this vast conspiracy because he will be focused on battling the Obama administration’s upcoming assault on our gun rights.  Please check back regularly for our dispatches from the front lines.

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