Guns don’t hurt people, people with guns hurt people.

Guns don’t hurt people, dogs with guns hurt people!


Over the past few months a number of vicious, gun hating, dog lovers have e-mailed horrible threats to me for my recent posts supporting NSPA members who have been in the news for shooting dogs.  Well, the tragic news from Sheridan, Wyoming in which a dog “accidentally” shot Richard Fipps only proves my point that dogs are sinister beasts that cannot be trusted.  If you still don’t believe me, just open up your Bible! 

Philippians 3:2 – Beware of dogs, beware of evil workers, beware of the concision.

Revelation 22:15 – For without [are] dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

I also happen to have inside information from my friends at WorldNetDaily who are preparing to release a bombshell investigative report that Dictator Obama has a secret program to train dogs to use head mounted guns so they can be used as guards at the FEMA concentration camps once he begins to round up all of us gun owners.  So to all of you gun hating, dog lovers out there, let’s hear what you have to say when you are locked up in a FEMA concentration camp, and Beau is pointing a gun at you.


Dog shoots man: Accidental shooting injures man




Since when did trying to be a father become a crime?


Okay, fellow NSPA Patriots, Michael Hecht from our Cincinnati chapter is in jail tonight for doing nothing more than trying to re-enter his 8 year old son’s life last night.  The hysterical media is getting ahead of the facts and insisting that he stormed the home of his ex-wife with a home made gun when he heard her new husband was planning on adopting her son and giving him his last name.  The media irresponsibly claims Hecht intended to kill the stepfather, who viciously assaulted Hecht with a glass and held him down until the police arrived.

That certainly isn’t the whole story according to what I’ve heard from my associates down there in the men’s rights movement.  Granted, Hecht had not been involved in his son’s life much for the past 8 years, but what we’re guessing is that he was trying to make amends and made the gun at his home for an Indian Guides project and intended to bring his son to the local Indian Guides meeting.  Can you think of a more wholesome activity Hecht could bond over with his son?  No, I didn’t think so.  The stepfather obviously jumped to the conclusion that Hecht was going to use the gun against him so he jumped the gun (no pun intended) and committed the felonious assault against Hecht.  However, thanks to Dictator Obama’s judicial system, it is Hecht who is in jail.


Man Plots To Kill Ex-Wife’s New Husband Ahead Of Eight-Year-Old Son’s Adoption




Here we go again!   The lamestream media is again rushing to judgment against a proud NSPA member.  This time Stephen Rozniakowski is the victim.  For those members of the lamestream media who slept through their high school civics classes, we here at the NSPA would like to remind them that our court system in theory views everybody who comes before them as innocent until proven guilty.   Sure, Rozniakowski was rushed to the hospital after shooting his ex-fiancée to death and shooting and critically injuring her 14 year old daughter Monday night.  Sure, the Plymouth Township Police previously arrested him with 25 counts of stalking and 50 counts of harassment for allegedly contacting his ex-fiancée repeatedly through phone calls and text messages. 

However, the lamestream media is already portraying poor Rozniakowski as an emotionally unstable man who had a cache of guns in his house that he used to vent his crybaby rage when he hasn’t even had his day in court yet.  We haven’t had a chance to review the evidence, and we are sure there is a perfectly reasonable explanation for what happened so we are asking the alleged media to slow down and stop their rush to judgment.  I guess that is asking for too much, though, in Obama’s America.


Former Girlfriend Feared Delco Officer, Got Protection Before Deadly Shooting
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So why isn’t anybody calling for a ban on machetes?


Bradley Stone, a charter NSPA member from our Philadelphia chapter, has been in the news recently for allegedly killing his ex-wife and five of her family members before committing suicide yesterday.  Right on cue all of the opportunistic gun haters got into a hissy fit over Stone allegedly using a .40-caliber handgun to kill 5 of the 6 victims and said this is yet another in an endless number of examples of why there is a need for sensible (allegedly sensible, author’s note) gun control legislation.  Well, we here at the NSPA want to know why nobody is making much of the fact that Stone allegedly killed his ex-wife’s 14 year old niece with a machete.  Where are all the calls for machete control legislation?  Well, don’t wait for Dictator Obama and all of his henchmen to do anything to protect you from a machete wielding black man because they will be too busy trying to confiscate guns from totally well balanced, emotionally mature white guys who happen to have small penises.  When the black men with machetes come hunting for you, you better hope the gun haters haven’t already taken away your guns.


Bradley Stone found dead in Montgomery County shooting






This is a call to arms for all NSPA members and supporters who are able to participate in our March on Lorain, Ohio tomorrow to protest the Lorain Police Department’s racial profiling and persecution of two upstanding white guys who were only using their Second Amendment rights while enjoying a few alcoholic beverages while sharing a little father/son quality time.  The Marxist police and prosecutor will claim Joseph and Thomas Boyette from our Lorain/Elyria chapter were jeopardizing the safety of their neighbors while shooting up to 36 rounds from a handgun while bonding over a few drinks, that in no way diminished their judgment or their motor skills, on their front porch.

These are innocent, small penised, white, responsible gun owners, and their lives matter.  However, the Obama administration will do whatever it can to take away their guns and break up their family.  That is why we must stand up and fight.  See you in Lorain!


Father, son charged with shooting gun during night of drinking



We need a new Santa for our Christmas Party where we will say, “Merry Christmas”, not, “Happy Holidays.”


Due to the unfortunate incarceration of Frank Perry from our West Memphis, Arkansas chapter, we need a stand in to play Santa at the National Small Penis Association’s Christmas Party to be held this Saturday at the Belgrade Gardens restaurant in Barberton, Ohio.  We had not planned on having  a party this year until we attended the Sandy Springs Gun Club and Range “Holiday” party (please see below).  After we realized even they were kowtowing to the atheists in America (Obama’s America, that is) who are waging a war on Christmas, we decided to host a full fledged Christmas party.

Mr. Perry planned on being in Akron this weekend to visit the American Toy Marble Museum ( and to visit the NSPA national headquarters so he offered to play the part of Santa at our Christmas party.  However, he accidentally shot his wife to death in their home last night.  For some reason the police did not believe his perfectly plausible explanation that he thought she was an intruder.  Well, if she had been an intruder, he would have kept her safe by having that gun in the house and using it.  That is why we must continue to work with our friends at the NRA to make sure good guys can have their guns under any circumstances to keep all of us safe.

If you are interested in playing Santa, please e-mail me through the “CONTACT” link at the top of the page.

Wife shot; Memphis man charged with murder



All I want for Christmas is an IWI Tavor SAR-B16 5.56/223 Flat Top W/Rail, 30rd AR15 Mag!



The NSPA would like to thank all of our gracious hosts at the Sandy Springs Gun Club and Range who made our stay in Georgia so pleasant while we were down there to visit with Santa and to collect guns for our Glocks For Micrococks program.  While it was a productive trip that provided us plenty of time for gun loving fellowship, we must acknowledge we were a little disappointed that they said “Happy Holidays” rather than “Merry Christmas.”  This is the last place in America where we thought we would have to fight the war being waged against Christmas which led to an unfortunate misunderstanding with one of  the party organizers which led to a phone call to the Fulton County Sheriff’s Department. 

Unfortunately we had to leave before anybody from the Sheriff’s Department arrived to clear everything up because we had to get back to Akron, OH for a screening of Kirk Cameron’s “Saving Christmas” at the Ernest Angley Grace Cathedral Church.   Now Kirk Cameron is a guy who gets Christmas.  He’s a guy we will go into battle with any day to fight for the true meaning of Christmas!

Georgia gun club offers weapon-wielding photo ops with Santa



A completely well reasoned, emotionally stable white guy has an AR-15 in his hands – what could possibly go wrong?   NOTHING, nothing that is until the police show up to infringe on his 2nd Amendment rights.


The NSPA’s Portland chapter has an immediate job opening for our Northwestern Region Director of Recruitment Operations.   This is a temporary job that will last 30 years until our current Director, Paul Alan Ropp, completes his prison sentence for using his AR-15 to defend himself from government overreach. 

The Multnomah County Circuit Court may claim he was sentenced to prison for attempted aggravated murder, assaulting a law enforcement animal, burglary, conspiracy to commit burglary, attempted kidnapping, and blah blah blah. However, we here at the NSPA know the real reason.   Dictator Obama is preparing (with financing provided by that conniving shylock Michael Bloomberg) to lock up gun owners throughout America (or what’s left of it) in FEMA concentration camps.  It is in their interest to make pre-emptive strikes and arrest as many small penised Patriots as possible now so there won’t be anybody left to stand up to them when they enact their plan.  

Man who shot Portland cop with AR-15, killed police dog gets 30 years in prison



Sure, Shawn Nicely from our Mount Jackson chapter has been charged in the death of his neighbor because of one little bullet that just happened to go slightly stray from the target he was using for practice, but this was nothing more than an uncommon accident that hardly ever happens anymore thanks to the diligent work of our good friends at the NRA. 

Just ask our big buddy Wayne LaPierre, the NRA’s CEO and Executive Vice President who recently said, “Teaching safe and responsible gun ownership works, and the NRA has a long and proud history of doing exactly that.  Our Eddie Eagle Child Safety Program has taught 25 million young people that if they see a gun, they should do four things: stop, don’t touch it, leave the area, and call an adult. As a result of this and other private-sector programs, fatal firearms accidents are at the lowest level in 100 years.”

As we here at the NSPA always like to point out, you’re more likely to get struck by lightning than to be killed by a gun accident.  According to the National Weather Service there have been 26 lightning related deaths in the United States so far this year.  According to a nationwide survey of law enforcement records there have only been 1,454 people who have died as a result of accidental shootings so far this year.  Granted, there have been 1,428 more deaths this year attributed to accidental shootings than to lightning strikes based  on these statistics, but I would like to point out that there are still two and a half weeks left in this year and I saw on the news that it has been raining heavily on the West Coast the past few days so that probably means there will be a lot of thunderstorms which will probably mean a lot of people will die from lightning strikes before the end of the year which will prove once again that you’re more likely to get struck by lightning than to be killed in a  gun accident.   CASE CLOSED!


Arrest in Deadly Shooting Accident in Mount Jackson



It is with heavy hearts and inverted penises that we regretfully announce the passing of Danny Tutor from our Tupelo, Mississippi chapter who tragically lost his life Tuesday night in what the Lee County Sheriff’s Department is calling a case of murder/suicide.  We here at the NSPA beg to differ.  We are calling this a case of a man can only listen to so much nagging from his wife before she pushes him too far.  Meanwhile, the local media is having a field day pretending to be the New York Times by making so much of the fact that Danny used one of the many guns in his house to shoot his wife multiple times before turning the gun on himself.  The Lee County Sheriff’s Department is asking for anybody with additional information on this case to contact them.  Hopefully they will be able to get to the bottom of this and determine what Danny’s wife was nagging him about to cause all of this to happen.

Danny Tutor

Saltillo man shoots wife, kills self



The United States is turning into a nanny state populated by a bunch of wussies!  My daddy Judah Harvey Hannity whupped me plenty of times with a switch and even shot me a couple of times when I acted up, and I turned out to be a perfectly well adjusted adult man.   But I guess that was a different time that is now long gone now that we have Dictator Obama in office and parents get hauled away by the jack booted police thugs for disciplining their children the old fashioned way.

Please pray to Jesus Christ to get Travis Blake Carlton (see, there is something about guys with three names and membership in the NSPA) from our Pickens County chapter out of jail.  Here’s a father who was actually involved in his son’s life and cared enough about his son to try to teach him right from wrong by delivering a little fatherly discipline.   It’s not like his son is going to die or anything, but that doesn’t matter because the government just sees another white guy whose gun needs to be confiscated.


Deputies: Father charged with attempted murder in shooting of 4-year-old

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Sean Houle, NSPA ace outdoorsman from our Boston chapter, has been on loan to the NRA, our sister organization or more like our brother organization because sister organization sounds kind of feminine and we here in the NSPA are completely masculine in every way, for the past year to help them restructure the NRA’s Hunter Services Division.   Below we have reprinted just a small sample of the information Sean and the NRA have posted @ 

When it comes to hunting and skills training, America’s 13.7 million hunters have known for years where to go: the NRA. Working in cooperation with the state of New York in 1949, we developed hunter safety training as it’s known today. Since then, as our proven hunting education principles have been adopted by one state and province after another, we’ve expanded our services and assistance to hunters.

Advanced training for young hunters. The latest research and tactics for hunting success. Public works that benefit hunters. With all this and more, it’s easy to see why NRA is the number-one hunters’ organization in America. For more information, call us at (800) 492-4868 or email


Deer hunter mistakenly shoots jogger on Cape Cod



Scott Peters from our Chicago chapter sits in jail for attempted murder, aggravated battery, and discharge of a firearm at a police officer for allegedly shooting McHenry County Sheriff’s deputies Khalia Satkiewicz and Dwight Maness on Oct. 16.  In addition to that miscarriage of justice, his 67 year old aunt, Kathryn Kriepki, who gave him the gun used in that incident, has just been charged with delivering firearms to someone who does not possess a Firearm Owner’s Identification card. 

Look at the face of this noble white man.  Does he really look like somebody capable of an erratic, violent attack against law enforcement officers?  Also, we want to know why any law enforcement officers near Chicago would spend any of their time harassing good Christian white people when there are so many black people shooting each other in Chicago.




Okay, Gregory Graf from our Lehigh Valley chapter has been charged with shooting his stepdaughter to death and will likely be charged with sexually abusing her corpse.  Not to change the subject, but we’re pretty sure some black people shot some other black people in Chicago this weekend.


Pa. man charged with stepdaughter’s murder might have abused her corpse, DA says



We here at the NSPA don’t want to toot our own horns about the advances that have been made by white guys with small penises since we started our work two years ago, but we’ve got to point out the obvious: White guys who have small penises are becoming cool now, just like the Rat Pack (with the exception of that Sammy Davis Jr., who we always thought was the weak link in the Rat Pack, in fact we could never understand why he got more attention than Joey Bishop) was in the 60s.  Check out this picture of four of our fellow Patriots who represent the very finest in the White Puny Penis Pride movement who just happened to be in Memphis and decided to take a group photo and just randomly selected the Lorraine Motel which by sheer coincidence they later found out happened to be where Martin Luther King Jr. was assassinated.

In other news, we are excited to report the 2015 NSPA national convention will be held in Jackson, Tennessee.  We are still working on the dates and selecting the hotel.   We will be posting more information soon so you can plan your vacation time to join us for three days of fellowship.


‘Klanbly Friendly’ Tennessee: State Becomes Hate Tourist Mecca




Free John Guzy!    Small penised Patriots of the world, UNITE!  Okay, Patriots, we must rally behind the great white Patriot John Guzy who was arraigned today in Chenango County Court for doing nothing more than standing his ground against the annoyance of people who drive the speed limit.  After the police (doing the bidding of the gun hating Dictator Obama) arrested Mr. Guzy, they violated the sanctity of his home and confiscated all of his guns.  Apparently, nothing is sacred anymore.


Shooting survivor recounts deadly traffic dispute



After all of the dog shooting stories we’ve posted over the past few months, we here at the NSPA are thrilled that an unknown armed Patriot has finally gotten around to using his gun to shoot a cat.   It is a well known fact that witches can shape shift into cats, but Pope Innocent VIII put it best in 1484 when he said, “the cat was the devil’s favourite animal and idol of all witches.”  The gunman in this case was doing the Lord’s work.


Stray cat’s leg amputated after shooting – ‘Peggy,’ a 1-year-old tabby, is up for adoption



Once again a white, small penised Patriot who has three names, Glenn Allen Taylor, needs our Christian prayers to help him escape from his government confinement in jail for doing nothing more than shooting his wife in the back of her head in self defense during a domestic dispute that I’m sure she probably initiated by nagging him for something stupid, like most women do.  As the article linked below clearly documents, Patriot Allen had no choice other than to defend himself from his wife by shooting her in the back of her head because she had a knife and was threatening to damage one of his paintings.  Hello, Dorchester County Sheriff’s Department, haven’t any of you ever heard of justifiable homicide?


Ladson man says he fatally shot wife in self defense



Jody Lee Hunt may have killed four white people today with his gun, but don’t let that distract us from the real threat we face from black on black violence, just like Rudy Giuliani warned us about because there are hardly any heavily armed, emotionally immature, unstable white guys who lack coping skills and nurse a score of grudges while wallowing in an endless simmer of self pity. 


W.Va. Shooter Held Personal, Professional Grudges



Sure, a lot of egg headed gun haters will point to the incident at David Eckhardt’s home as an example of why the presence of a lot of guns in a house will increase the likelihood of a family member being shot, but these are the same agenda driven Marxists who insist the presence of a lot of human created carbon dioxide in the atmosphere will eventually have irreversible, systemic, long term consequences for every living creature on the face of this planet.  

Don’t believe the “climate change” lies.  Human produced carbon dioxide in the atmosphere is as harmless as an emotionally unstable white guy with a gun in his hand.


Man shoots his wife, father at home

43-year-old kills himself; victims remain in hospital




The NSPA Houston chapter is working furiously to free our fellow small penised Patriot Kenneth Caplan, who was arrested by Houston police (we never would have thought any police department in Texas would have been infiltrated by Marxist Islamic agents intent on confiscating our guns) for doing nothing more than using his Second Amendment right to stand his ground against women drivers.


Off-Duty Cop Allegedly Shoots Woman In Head During Road Rage Incident



Please pray for the speedy recovery of our spiritual brother Patriot Raymond Johnson.  The Oregon City police (government thugs who secretly hate armed white Patriots, if you ask me) suspect he was injured by a self inflicted gunshot after he shot and killed his wife in their home while their two children were in the house.   This was probably an accident that occurred while I’m guessing he was showing her how to safely clean a gun when she suddenly distracted him by nagging him like only a woman can and then while I’m sure he was calmly trying to redirect her to a peaceful state of mind the gun fell to the floor and shot her and then bounced up and shot him.

Some liberal haters may point out that Johnson was a registered sex offender and never should have been allowed to own a gun.  Then they’ll start whining that this case is an example of why background checks should be required before all gun purchases.  Leave it to the liberals to miss the central issue here, NAGGING WIVES!


Wife dies, husband critical in Oregon double shooting






This is a sad day for the National Small Penis Association as proud Patriot Larry McQuilliams lost his life today after his noble attempt to burn down the Mexican consulate in Austin, Texas to keep those large penised brown skinned people out of OUR country and his brave pre-emptive strike against the government and its plan to confiscate our guns by shooting over 100 rounds of ammunition into a United States Federal Courthouse and the Austin Police Department headquarters.

While we may have to bid farewell to our small penised brother, we can take solace in the knowledge that Truth Tellers like Glenn Beck and Michael Savage are still around to get other fellow Patriots riled up against our government and local law enforcement officials.

We can also be thankful that Republican Governor Elect Greg Abbott has vowed to sign a bill to legalize open carry in Texas as soon the legislation reaches his desk.  We are only sad, though, that proud Patriot Larry McQuilliams will not live to see that glorious day.


Austin gunman has criminal history



“I am an avid collector, and my hobby is no more dangerous than if I were to collect stamps,” the father wrote. His wife called that “ridiculous” in another court document.

Yes, gun collecting is no more dangerous than stamp collecting.  I couldn’t have said it better myself.  This insightful quote was given by a brave Patriot from Lake Stevens, Washington whose 3 year old son was accidently shot by a 4 year old neighbor with one of his unsecured guns in his home.  This Patriot’s nagging ex-wife had been acting like a horrible harpy and complained about the dangers posed by all of the guns he kept around the house during their divorce proceedings.  The 4 year old neighbor could have just as easily poked the 3 year old’s eye out with those tweezers used to pick up stamps, but you won’t hear Moms Demand Action calling for stamp bans.  Welcome to Obama’s America!


Parents of Lake Stevens boy shot in mouth had argued about guns in home



If Dictator Obama gets his way and confiscates our guns, bananas are all we will have to defend ourselves with.  Until then we must continue our struggle to put a real gun in the hand of every white guy, particularly those who may be prone to poor judgment, in America.  Only then will we be able to take our country back.

I predict by the end of the week Michael Bloomberg will be calling for a ban on banana sales in New York City.  Heaven help us!


Colorado man arrested after pointing banana at officers like a gun



Sadly, this is one time that the dog comes out ahead of the totally stable white guy with a gun.  The American flag outside the NSPA office is flying at half staff today to honor the memory of our brother, Dennis Emery, who only had 34 run-ins with the Pinellas Park police over the last 2 years.  I hope that damn border collie is pleased with itself.


Police: Man threatened dog, fatally shot self





Lindsey Graham, one of the NSPA’s favorite Senators, gets his fist ready once again to deliver some truth and justice.  Below is the post I entered on his Facebook page to thank him for speaking truth to power. – Lee Greenwood Hannity

Lindsey, thank you for calling out the House Benghazi report for, as you said, being “full of crap.” The report, which was produced by the Republican controlled House Intelligence committee, cleared the Obama administration of committing any improper actions, but you are thankfully ready to get to the bottom of this obviously fixed report. I’m glad you said it was “full of crap” because I’ve heard you are very good at prying open and probing things that are full of crap. I’m sure you’re ready to roll up your shirt sleeves and get your hands dirty. In fact, I’m so sure of your abilities that I’m going to give you a well deserved nickname, The Fist of Truth and Justice. Stick it to them, Lindsey!

Lindsey Graham Won’t Accept New Benghazi Report: It’s ‘Full Of Crap’




If you have three names,……you might be a member of the National Small Penis Association.

Curtis Wade Holley, another middle aged white guy who loved guns and hated the government.  Oh, and he killed a Sheriff’s Deputy in an ambush attack.  Where would the National Small Penis Associaton be without Patriots like him?


Man Who Ambushed Cops Had Anti-Government Beliefs




Let’s not jump to conclusions.  Nicholas Tuinstra looks like a perfectly stable white guy so I’m sure there may have been a reason he shot and killed his estranged wife and her boyfriend.   He may have simply stopped by the house to get his beer can collection and his Ted Nugent cds when he slipped on a patch of snow on the sidewalk, causing his gun to fall out of his coat pocket (Wisconsin has concealed carry – thank you, Scott Walker).  The gun probably hit the sidewalk and accidentally discharged.  It’s not like he’s an emotionally immature, unstable cry baby white guy who can’t handle the typical disappointments that life offers everybody. 


Weapon sought in Berlin double killing, described as domestic violence




Dr. Seuss (actually this is how we think Dr. Seuss would have written this if he had been born with a very small penis)


Man charged with animal cruelty after dog shot, killed

Man reportedly bragged about killing dog in Facebook video

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Another good guy with a gun uses his God given 2nd Amendment rights to put down a vicious beast.  Hopefully the government sanctioned police force will not apprehend the brave small penised Patriot who committed this act of bravery.


Readers react after Holland Township dog shot, body dumped in ravine





Philip Sailors shot and killed Rodrigo Diaz after Mr. Diaz mistakenly pulled into his driveway while trying to find a friend’s home to take him roller skating.  When Mr. Sailors saw a brown skinned man in his driveway, he had no choice but to stand his ground with a gun and hollow tipped bullets.   When Mr. Diaz started to back his car out of the driveway, Mr. Sailors had no choice but to continue standing his ground even as the unarmed young man was trying to drive away.   Thankfully Mr. Sailors only received a sentence of one year of probation and a  $500 fine.  With Dictator Obama preparing to let 5 million illegal brown skinned people stay in this country, we need all of the small penised Patriots we can get to guard our driveways.




Thomas E. Fallis, a good white guy with a gun who happened to accidentally shoot his wife in the head while doing nothing more than trying to get her to stop smoking, is facing jail time if we fail to act in his defense.  While the courts are focusing on her death, they are ignoring the fact that he did get her to stop smoking, thereby rescuing her from a long, painful, eventual death from lung cancer.  The National Small Penis Association has just established The Small Penis Legal Defense Fund to help defend innocent white guys like Mr. Fallis who have been arrested for exercising their 2nd Amendment Rights.

Former deputy arrested in wife’s 2012 Weld County shooting death



Oklahoma Republican Governor Mary Fallin – NSPA Woman of the Year for 2014!

Though she may not have a penis, we are sure Republican Governor Mary Fallin would have a very small one if women could have penises because she is a National Small Penis Association member at heart.  When she is not busy doing the Lord’s work in fighting against raising the minimum wage in Oklahoma, Governor Fallin is straining to exude contrived macho swagger in displaying her love for guns.  In other words, she’s our kind of girl!


Click the link below to watch Governor Fallin drive a tank to crush a car and shoot a M134 Gatling gun at the grand opening of a shooting range that serves alcohol.  Shooting ranges and alcohol go together just like Governor Fallin and men who have small penises.

Wilshire Gun becomes first range in state to sell alcohol

Gov. Mary Fallin kicks off grand opening by driving tank




Once again, an armed Patriot uses his gun to protect himself from a vicious beast. If New Hampshire didn’t have open carry, the Patriot would have been covered in slobber.


Family Dog Shot And Killed In Auburn, NH « CBS Boston.





The National Small Penis Association is proud to award Robert J. Kinnison our Rising Star award for 2014 for his stalwart work to counteract the shrill voices of those nagging harpies over at Moms Demand Action. Robert is a proud proponent of White Pride, and we are so proud to count him as one of us here at the NSPA.  Robert embodies that special magic that occurs when white guys with small penises are paired with powerful guns.   Robert, we expect big things from you in 2015, and we’ll be watching you all the way.



Donald J. Trump
9 hours ago
Happy #VeteransDay to all. And it is nice to have Sgt. Andrew Tahmooressi back home.

I only wish I could wish Donald Trump a happy Veterans Day, but I can’t because he never served. Those liars at The Daily News say he finagled a medical deferment, which doesn’t match with his claims that he didn’t serve in Vietnam because he had a high draft number. Well, what do you expect from the lamestream media?



Here’s a picture from the National Small Penis Association/Open Carry Texas party we had in Galveston over the weekend.  Clyde demonstrates his effective gun placement technique to add that special sense of adequacy only a gun can provide.





Please visit the KSTP-TV5 facebook page so you can click the like button to support all of the good work they are doing.  I just visited their page and posted the following message:

Dear KSTP-TV5 Minneapolis ABC affiliate, thank you for your Emmy worthy news coverage of mayor Betsy Hodges’ scandalous decision to take a picture with a young black man and flash what were obviously gang signs. While the liberal whiners in your audience (Minneapolis after all gave us Hubert Humphrey so there are plenty of these types in the city) complained that this was shoddy, racist, agenda driven, poorly researched hack work that can’t even be categorized as journalism, I disagree. Your news department only wants to keep us safe. I’m doing my part by passing along a picture I found of Mary Richards, an employee of a rival Minneapolis TV station’s news department, flashing obvious gang signs to her coworker, Sue Ann Nivens. Please have your great reporter Jay Kolls look into this and help keep Minneapolis safe.

pointergateMoore & White In 'The Mary Tyler Moore Show"



Woodville officer Steve Gilkerson saves the day by using his gun to disable a curious chocolate Labrador retriever. White guys with guns to the rescue once again.

Residents react with shock over shooting of dog

Mayor, police chief support officer






Wilcox County, Georgia 1950s

Despite what all of the pundits said about Georgia being in play for the Democrats, the small penised white guy vote came out and kept Georgia RED!  



The Bullet That Could Make 3-D Printed Guns Practical Deadly Weapons





The NSPA has awarded Charleston Daily Mail editorial columnist our Excellence in Journalism Award for providing an eloquent voice on behalf of emotionally insecure, stridently obnoxious small penised white guys who are regularly victimized and ignored by the lamestream liberal media. Don provided a fine sample of his writing style on his personal blog in which he referred to Michael Brown as an animal who had to be put down by Officer Darren Wilson. Don Surber’s keen intellect and insight serve as a benchmark for all aspiring journalists in America.


Please contact Don to congratulate him on his award.



White guys with guns – a winning combination!


Police probe fatal Putnam shooting



“Passing along a family tradition of hunting and shooting is not something that we should have to ask our leaders for permission to do,” Indiana Governor Mike Pence (R) said at the NRA national convention in Indianapolis, Indiana this past April.     Mike, I couldn’t have said it better myself.

Baby dies after gun accident in Kokomo, Indiana




Drunken trombone-playing clown fires gun from garage, police say

By John Tunison | The Grand Rapids Press
Follow on Twitter
on October 21, 2014 at 2:22 PM, updated October 21, 2014 at 2:54 PM

GRAND TRAVERSE COUNTY, MI — Police arrested a 54-year-old man after he was allegedly seen wearing camouflage pants and a clown mask, shooting a gun at a can in the street.  Grand Traverse County sheriff’s deputies said the man also was seen playing a trombone at one point, all the while as he stood in a garage.  The man, described as intoxicated, was arrested for a personal protection order violation. No one was hurt and the gun turned out to be a pellet gun.

Deputies responded at about 10:30 a.m. Monday, Oct. 20 to a Blair Township residence on a report of a man, standing in a garage, pointing a firearm at surrounding houses.  A caller to 911 said the man also was shooting at a can in the road. The caller told dispatchers the man was “wearing camo pants and a clown mask and at one point was playing a trombone.”  Deputies arrived at the scene, determined the man was drunk, and arrested the man on the personal protection order violation.   No one was injured.


Sure, take away his gun, and all he’ll be able to protect himself with is a clown horn. This is life in Obama’s America, and this is why we must support the NRA.



GOPer DeMaio Mocked Dem Staffer With Photo Of Overweight Woman

I  congratulated congressional candidate Carl DeMaio on his facebook page for this hilarious joke, but some liberal operative hacked his page and removed my post and blocked me from ever posting anything on the page again. It’s a shame that Carl won’t be able to see it, but I just wanted to let him know how funny I thought his e-mail was. I told him I would have only thought that some of the old frat boys I know could have made a joke this funny. I told him the e-mail joke shows how far our society has come that an openly gay Republican (it still doesn’t feel quite right to type that) can make a mean spirited attack on an overweight woman’s appearance. It used to be just frat boy types who could do that. I never thought those gays like DeMaio would care about something like that. I told him that it taught me I should keep an open mind about his people.  He has shown me that in many ways he is just like a lot of my buddies and me, except for that anal sex stuff. Please visit Carl DeMaio’s facebook page to let him know how much you appreciate his barrier breaking sense of humor.




Though it is only October, I have made an editorial decision for the NSPA to name Kevin Dupre from the Cleburne, Texas police department as our Officer of the Year. As you will see in this video, Officer Dupre risked life and limb to protect the good people of Cleburne from these vicious dogs who were playing in a drainage ditch. Please call the Cleburne police department at (817) 645-0972 to congratulate them on Officer Dupre’s award.


Video shows officer coaxing friendly pets closer with kissing noises before opening fire.



It’s a sad day for insecure, small penised white guys all across America.  There’s nothing we brave Christian conservative white guys hate more than the culture of victimization, except when we are actually the real victims.


Michael Dunn sentenced to life in ‘loud music’ trial

The 47-year-old white software engineer was sentenced to life in prison, almost two years after he fatally shot unarmed black teen Jordan Davis





After watching the latest ‘New Girl’ episode ‘Micro’, I realized that I am a member of the one remaining marginalized group that smug, self satisfied Hollywood types feel free to ridicule and denigrate. While the ‘New Girl’ producers would never center an entire episode around racist jokes directed toward any number of minority groups, they felt no hesitation to make an endless stream of jokes about a man who has a small penis. It saddens me that we here at The National Small Penis Association still have so much work ahead of us to advocate for the rights and dignity of men who have small penises. However, I am now only more determined than ever to continue my work so that one day a little boy who is born with a small penis can grow up to be a man with a small penis and feel no shame about it. By that way, ‘New Girl’ will never be as funny as ‘That Girl’ because Marlo Thomas and Ted Bessell never needed to make cheap jokes about men who have small penises.  – Lee Greenwood Hannity



I’M IN LOVE! I never thought I would find a woman who hates Muslims and loves guns as much as I do. It’s as if Lindsey Graham had been born with a vagina and was biblically able to accept the love of a man.




Well, if she hadn’t “jokingly slapped” him, there’s a good chance none of this would have happened. I don’t hear Nancy Pelosi calling for a ban on joking slapping. So the liberal fingers will accusingly point on cue at the emotionally insecure white guy who feels the need to carry a gun with him at a social gathering in a desperate attempt to overcome long harbored feelings of inadequacy.   ‪#‎sotypical





Our friend Mitch is under attack, and we must rally behind him!  While checking Senator McConnell’s facebook page, I was shocked to see that some Godless liberal operative hacked the page to photoshop this picture to make it look like a wolverine is giving the Honorable Senator a hand job.  Call Senator McConnell’s office at (202) 224-2541 to let him know we don’t believe for a second that he would ever get a hand job from a wolverine.



“The only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun.”, Wayne LaPierre. Apparently a gun is also effective at stopping an autistic boy’s therapy dog.



Home brewers may be annoying, but there is nothing cooler than guys who make their own guns at home.




I suppose the lamestream media would have been happier if he had left it loaded so a six year old child could find it and shoot another child by accident. This man was simply practicing simple gun safety.





The Sons of Confederate Veterans are preserving the legacy of small penised white guys who clutched on to their guns to fight our government. It’s a century and a half later, and we’re still carrying on the fight.




Forget the liberal lie that dog is man’s best friend.  The gun is man’s best friend!

Newfield dog shot twice is in stable condition




This fight is just beginning. Again, middle aged white guys with guns are the only ones we can count on to keep dogs in their place.




Who let the God damn dogs out?! Once again, it’s up to a well armed, middle aged white guy to save the day.





Okay, the police may have found 9 guns in David William Latham’s home after they arrested him for killing a neighbor’s potentially vicious corgi in a drunken stupor after mistakenly believing the dog was the source of the barking that had begun to annoy him, but you’ll be sorry if he isn’t around to help defend you when the U.N. Agenda 21 police come to round you up and confiscate your guns.



I’m sure this all could have been avoided if Mr. Spirit had gone to the NRA’s website and clicked on the ‘Family Fun & Adventure’ link.

Don Spirit kills six grandchildren, daughter and himself in Florida shooting, sheriff says





Before there was The National Small Penis Association, there were these guys. (Galveston Bay, Texas – 1981)




Guns don’t kill people.  Drunken middle aged brothers trying to reenact a fancy gun twirling stunt from a largely forgotten 1993 western kill people.

‘Tombstone’ stunt goes horribly wrong at Florida woman’s birthday party 





DON’T MESS WITH TEXAS, and don’t mess with insecure, emotionally immature white men who have small penises and are disappointed with the way their lives turned out and vent their mixture of self pity and crybaby rage by shooting whoever happens to be in their line of fire in Texas.  If push comes to shove, this is how The National Small Penis Association rolls in Texas.

Sammuel Everett Toomey Charged In Corpus Christi Trailer Park Shooting




We need a well armed militia to protect ourselves from our government when they come to round us up for the FEMA camps and from dogs who get loose from their back yards. Stand your ground!

Off-Duty Tulsa cop shoots, kills neighborhood dog




Why should our government waste money on Head Start when the money could be more wisely spent on teaching toddlers to shoot automatic weapons?


Where Kids as Young as 5 Learn to Shoot Automatic Weapons



Guns don’t hurt people.  Porcelain toilets hurt people.

Teacher hurt when gun accidently shatters toilet
September 11 at 7:46 PM
SALT LAKE CITY — A Utah elementary school teacher who was carrying a concealed firearm at school was struck by fragments from a bullet and a porcelain toilet when her gun accidently fired in a faculty bathroom on Thursday, officials said.The sixth-grade teacher at Westbrook Elementary School, in the Salt Lake City suburb of Taylorsville, was injured when the bullet struck a toilet and caused it to explode, Granite School District spokesman Ben Horsley said.Authorities initially thought the teacher had accidently shot herself. They now believe she was injured when the bullet and toilet fragments struck her lower leg.   The teacher, identified as Michelle Ferguson-Montgomery, was in good condition Thursday afternoon in a Salt Lake City hospital, Horsley said.  No listed phone number for Ferguson-Montgomery was available.No other faculty or students witnessed the shooting, but they might have heard the gunshot or seen the teacher as she was helped out of the school to a waiting ambulance, he said.  Classes continued as usual Thursday, and crisis counselors were available, Horsley said.  Officials were still investigating how the gun discharged. “This just appears at this point in time to be an accident,” he said.Horsley said Ferguson-Montgomery has been a teacher with the school for 14 years but he did not have her age. She was carrying her gun legally with a concealed-firearm permit, Horsley said.  Utah is among the few states that allow people with concealed-weapons permits to carry guns in public schools, according to the National Conference of State Legislatures.


The National Small Penis Association old school! (1967)




Umm, I must respectfully decline the Asafo Gun Club’s invitation to meet them at their headquarters because I, umm, am getting ready to take my mother to go see the Oak Ridge Boys in concert in Branson, MO. Thanks for the invitation, though. – Lee Greenwood Hannity





Mitt, I know just how you feel.  I would have done a better job of impregnating Scarlett Johansson than her fiancé. – Lee Greenwood Hannity

Romney: I Would Have Done A Better Job Than Obama

WASHINGTON (AP) — Former GOP presidential candidate Mitt Romney says there is no question in his mind that he would have been more effective in the White House than President Barack Obama. But he reiterates he has no plans to run again.




Kevin Sorbo Official Facebook Page

I do remember this one, though.
Once again, Kevin Sorbo shows why he is such a favorite with The National Small Penis Association.  Since I’m a good Christian conservative, I’m going to cut straight to the heart of this matter. Michelle Obama – Black/Ann Romney – White. I applaud Kevin for the stands he takes even if it hurts his chances of ever getting a decent acting job again because of all of the liberal America haters who run Hollywood who are determined to sabotage his career. Heck, Kevin can’t even get a cameo in one of the Expendable movies. That has nothing to do with his acting ability or lack of audience interest in seeing him. No, it’s because he tells the TRUTH, and there are a lot of people out there who can’t handle the truth!


Duck Dynasty patriarch Phil Robertson was on Hannity to share his wisdom on how to handle the threat from ISIS. It’s just a shame he didn’t get to go to Vietnam to put this type of Git-R-Done attitude into practice. Instead, he got a deferment to avoid service after getting married in 1966.  There is nothing more inspiring than hearing how he would handle himself if he faced life and death danger in the heat of war.  Well, I guess it would be a little more inspiring if he had actually faced this type of danger when it had been his turn to serve, but it’s still pretty inspiring. Please click the link to see this brilliant interview.

duckhunt          vietcong

Well, many Viet Cong soldiers may have dodged a lot of bullets because of his absence in the jungles, but a lot of ducks in Louisiana weren’t so lucky. 



Okay, so even though the Shoot Straight gun range in Casselberry, FL featured in my last post was the site five years ago of a mother/son murder/suicide, it just goes to show that we need more guns, even at gun ranges, to prevent these types of incidents.




I don’t look at this as an accident. I look at it as a bonding experience. It’s just typical liberal media spin trying to scare people about guns.




Ted, I thank Jesus you went to such extensive lengths back in the day to avoid service in Vietnam so you could stay alive to fight for gun rights and accept praise from those men and women who actually went into battle to serve their country. Better to have you face an unarmed deer in the woods than to face an armed and highly motivated Viet Cong soldier in the tunnels of Cu Chi. There were plenty of others who went in your place and sacrificed their lives, but they probably never could have stayed home out of harm’s way and written a song like ‘Cat Scratch Fever’, only the greatest rock song ever. Those who went in your place and actually served may be in their graves, but you are still ROCKING! It fills my Christian heart with joy to know that some U.S. Military men and women praise you and don’t hold it against you that you consciously avoided service back when it was your turn.



Happy 50th Wedding Anniversary to Mr. and Mrs. Dick Cheney!

Congratulations to Dick Cheney, one of our biggest heroes here at the National Small Penis Association, and his lovely wife, Lynne.  Thank you Jesus for bringing this couple together in marriage and giving Dick a good excuse to get multiple deferments to avoid serving in Vietnam. If he had been sent to actually fight in a war that he supported, he might have been killed and never would have been able to liberate Iraq.






The liberal media went gaga reporting that a 13 year old girl threw a 70 mph fastball like it was the greatest thing in the world while it carried on like a crybaby ninny reporting that a 9 year old girl fired an Uzi like it was the worst thing in the world. What else would you expect from the liberal media?





A 9-Year-Old at a Shooting Range, a Spraying Uzi and Outrage




Just like Wayne LaPierre said, nothing delivers security and justice like a good guy with a gun.

Bond Set for White Cop Who Allegedly Shot Daughter’s Black Boyfriend




Kevin Sorbo is a big favorite with the members of the National Small Penis Association.  Though his career as an action star may have ended many years ago, I think he has a future in comedy.  There is nothing funnier than jokes about bombs in places of worship.

sorbo fourgirls




Come to think of it, maybe a few reasonable regulations on open carry wouldn’t be such a bad thing.

Dallas Huey P. Newton Gun Club Plans Open Carry-Type Rally « CBS Dallas / Fort Worth

newton newton2







Alcohol and gun shows go together like unregulated fertilizer plants and school buildings. Just two more reasons why Texas rules!!!!

Texas board considers allowing alcohol at gun shows



A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.


Taking a Bullet, Gaining a Cause: James S. Brady Dies at 73




I have called an immediate NSPA executive council meeting to stop this horrible persecution of Come and Take It Texas, our brothers in arms and small penises in Texas, who are bravely openly carrying their big guns in public only to be mocked and harassed by these heartless harlots.  Governor Perry, I am praying to Jesus Christ right now that you will send the National Guard so you can protect them until we are able to deploy to Austin.  We will keep you posted.  Pray (just to Jesus Christ because those are the only prayers that get heard after all) for us, please.

WATCH: Topless Texans Spar With Open Carry Activists: ‘Boobs For Peace!’




NRA Lobbyist Belittles Any Jew Who Backs Gun Control Because The Holocaust



GUNS DON’T KILL PEOPLE…emotionally unstable teenagers who grow up to be lawyers who devote their lives to providing unfettered access to semi automatic assault rifles kill people.  So can we finally stop trying to ban guns with needless legislation?  Thank you.




Look, if we’re going to have a well armed militia to protect us from our government, we’re going to need to crack a few eggs to make an omelet.

Pregnant woman dies after accidental shooting – FOX 35 News Orlando.


William DeHayes – NSPA Charter Member




We here at the NSPA swell with pride all over different parts of our bodies when we spend time by ourselves and look at these pictures of conservative Christian Senator Lindsey Graham out cruising to look for any muscular young men in military uniforms who have been sent out with marching orders by our dictator Obama to confiscate our guns and then to force us on our knees in a dark alley so they can commit acts of depravity on our quivering, sweaty bodies over and over and over and over again. Senator Graham, thank you. It is so comforting to know we have you covering our backs.



Look, I’m getting sick and tired of all the haters out there who keep pointing out that there aren’t any black guys in the National Small Penis Association. I will not compromise the integrity of the NSPA by lowering our membership eligibility standards just so I can say we have a couple of black guys as members. You won’t find any political correctness or affirmative action here. I don’t care if you’re white, black, yellow, green or blue. You just need to be able to measure up if you want to be a member. It just so happens that it’s only the white guys who measure up. I guess the haters would like me to invent some sort of radiation ray weapon that shrinks black guys’ penises. Well, haters, sorry to disappoint you, but it’s not going to happen. I’ve got more important things to do, like making sure the government doesn’t storm into our homes and confiscate our guns.



I am happy to report my year and a half detention in Thailand is over, and I am back in the United States to fight for my small penised brothers to keep their rights to strap really big and powerful guns to their waists . No matter what you hear (there are a lot of haters out there, after all), the detention was simply a misunderstanding over my visa paperwork.

All that matters is that I’m back in the thick of the battle just in time. I see ex(thankfully)-Mayor Bloomberg is still trying to take away our rights while he isn’t busy trying to manipulate the world’s money supply. I also see Harvey Weinstein (I think I’m seeing a pattern here, I’m just saying) is crowing that he will be making an anti gun movie starring Meryl Streep to take down the NRA.

Well, Harvey, I have news for you. I made good use of my year and a half in a cramped Bangkok jail by writing the screenplay for ‘The Man With A Small Penis’, an inspirational tale about a man with a small penis and a Colt LE901-901.308 Carbine. I don’t want to give away the plot just yet, but I describe it as ‘The King’s Speech’ meets ‘Red Dawn.’ Though it’s not official, I hope to have Victoria Jackson attached to the project soon. See you at the Oscar’s, Harvey and Meryl. IT’S ON!!!!



Well, we couldn’t take our country back in November, but we can take our month of February back. We here at the NSPA are tired of black people getting all of the attention in February so we are proud to announce February is Small Penis Awareness Month. Granted, none of us here at the compound would have ever invented peanut butter if we were sitting in a laboratory filled with buckets of peanuts, but we are damn well sure it was a white guy who invented jelly. Throughout the month, we will highlight the contributions small penised white guys have made to American history and culture, like the Confederate Army, the NRA, and the Blue Collar Comedy Tour.

We will use the month to grow the Small Penis pride movement to fight our fascist government’s plot to take our guns (and our manhood) away.


There is absolutely no truth to the local media reports that Lee Greenwood Hannity, President of the National Small Penis Association,  was arrested for public indecency at the Regal dollar theater in Canton last week.  Mr. Hannity swears on the holy Bible that he was not masturbating in his seat during a screening of ‘Red Dawn’, which the NSPA has declared as the best film of 2012, by the way. Mr. Hannity simply spilled some popcorn on his lap and was wiping the popcorn away.   Mr. Hannity will have no further comments on this vast conspiracy because he will be focused on battling the Obama administration’s upcoming assault on our gun rights.  Please check back regularly for our dispatches from the front lines.

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